Remind Me To Bring A Plushie To My Next Dentist Appointment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I need something to hold tight.

Sometimes when I write for KoopaTV, I discuss some of my... vulnerabilities. One of those vulnerabilities is my fear of dentists. I've written that dentists are terrifying and have torture tools. It's like being on the receiving end of my forward-smash in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate... for an hour. They have drills. Painful stuff. Plus, there's the water gun, the really bright light right in your eye, and the bizarrely-reclined chair.

What am I supposed to do with my limbs during this? I'm not chained down or anything. But giving into my instincts and slashing the face off my oppressor—that I (through my insurance) am paying—doesn't make sense. (Though since I'm paying them, maybe they shouldn't be so scary to their client.)

What if I get to hold something with my claws? Tightly? At present, I just interlock my right and left claws and hold on for dear life, sometimes to my own scales. What if I brought a plushie with me instead?

Speaking of plushies, I just got these in the mail from the official Nintendo online store, delivered by UPS. I think UPS has redeemed themselves by now, by the way, from the last time I ordered merchandise from there.

Left: Toon Princess Zelda plushie, based on The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
(Not in picture: My Toon Link plushie from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, which I've had for years.)
Right: Lord Bowser plushie.

Of those two plushies, I'd bring Princess Zelda. She's quite cuddly and could calm me down considerably during the dental cleaning and cavity search. (Currently cavity-free, by the way.)

Lord Bowser, although an amazing man and it being long past time that I owned non-amiibo merchandise of him (it was a huge gap made obvious in my Team Tortoise article), is difficult to actually hug. He's tough and not snuggly, just like the real King Koopa has been with me ever since Bowser Jr. was born.

...


Ludwig had a dental appointment the day of this article being written, so his next one is Thursday, January 23, 2020. Please remind him before that to bring a plushie, though he may bring one not pictured here because of the risk of bodily and oral fluids from the dental procedures possibly getting on the accompanying plush. Best the plush not be part of any royal family out there, in that case. If you have any better ways of coping with dental appointments, please do share them in the comments section.


This article appears to suggest that Ludwig would like the dentist more if he WAS chained to the chair...
Of course, the January 23 2020 article was about Ludwig bringing a plushie to his scheduled dentist appointment. Find out what happened!

MEGA YARN YOSHI is MEGA CUTE!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's also mega-priced.

Looks like Nintendo launched a salvo of new announcement information yesterday. Check out the whole press release here. I guess launching massive press releases is the new replacement for Nintendo Directs in a world without Satoru Iwata?

The most significant thing of the press release? Well, who cares about all these game release dates... Let's talk about MEGA YARN YOSHI.

No, it's not a new game... it's an AMIIBO!

The one on the right is the MEGA YARN YOSHI. The others are the ordinary ones.
Courtesy of GameSpot, who probably took it from the Nintendo PR room.

 

KoopaTV's January 2020 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I've surprisingly been very good about writing that it's 2020.

Look at me, crowing about 2020. It's already February...3rd! (2020.) Well, it can't be a newsletter reviewing January 2020 without January 2020 actually passing by first. KoopaTV waits for things to end and then reminisces. That's why we have our Game of THAT Year Awards in January, as opposed to some other places, which pretend the year ends in November so they can reminisce in December. Nuh uh. No way. At KoopaTV, we do it correctly. That's our guarantee to you.

You can see that work ethic exhibited in our articles and content from January 2020. Just have a gander throughout this newsletter:

KoopaTV's Top Five Recommended Experiences of January 2020

KoopaTV is all about the premium (at the cost of nothing to you—no money, no personal data handed over... just your time) content, so here's five of the recommended experiences from January 2020, in chronological order. ...If something isn't here, it's still worth it.

1. Pokémon Sword/Shield Expansion Pass: GAME FREAK's Scumbaggery — Ludwig believes that the Expansion Pass for Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield combines every anti-consumer practice out there for this kind of content. Read his persuasive argument!
2. Impressions on the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX Announcement and Demo — But on a much more positive Pokémon note, he endorses the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX demo, and suggests you try it out.
3. Learn in 7 Seconds Why Byleth Isn't An Interesting Choice in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate — Ludwig, on behalf of all of the Koopalings (and Bowser Jr.) explains why Byleth isn't interesting and is inherently contradictory. It's an issue that's very personal to him.
4. I Brought A Drednaw Plushie To My Dentist Appointment — Writing of what's personal to him, Ludwig tells the story of his dentist appointment in January, and what reactions he received to bringing a Drednaw plushie there. (Photo included.)
5. Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 11: Three Sucky Friends at the Valley of Wishes — Ludwig finds the storyline of the 11th world in Ring Fit Adventure to be fairly engaging, so he wants to share that with you in his fitness log series.

Ludwig Got the Wooloo Plushie!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Wooloo is so fluffy...!!!

You may remember that I am among the thousands (or millions) of people who adore Wooloo, the Sheep Pokémon native to Galar. It should therefore be little surprise that The Pokémon Company has produced multiple types of Wooloo plush, and also little surprise that they've been sold out instantly whenever there is new stock. All of the e-commerce is on their Pokémon Center site.

However, before the start of last weekend, things were different. The smaller Wooloo Poké Plush had its listing adorned with an “ADD TO CART” button as opposed to, say, the Wooloo Squishy Plush's “UNAVAILABLE” unclickable button. Immediately I went into action to get the Wooloo Poké Plush! For whatever reason, there were uncharacteristic technical difficulties and even 404 errors, which for some reason gets you on the wrong side of a violent electric rodent.

What if Wooloo isn't actually available and the website is just glitching in a way that makes it look available?
What a cruel world that would be.

But I persevered and hoped my order would come through.

The Pokémon Company really wants everyone to know that you can buy Wooloo. Wooloo restocks aren't a secret.
This is from their newsletter.
(Act quickly or it'll be sold out again. As of publishing, it's not sold out.)

And...behold... it has!

Ludwig Von Koopa's Team Pizza Crusade

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not done supporting Team Pizza!

We had a rather unfortunate result almost two weeks ago: Team Burgers defeated Team Pizzas in the Splatoon Splatfest, and I put my support behind Team Pizza. What ended up happening? Team Pizza had only 63% popularity vs. Team Burgers and their 37%... and Team Burgers won a whopping (no doubt from Burger King's Whopper) 56% of the time! Since the scoring system heavily weighs winning over popularity, Team Burgers won.

So did my team end up sucking? ...Yes. But we had spirit. I will fight for that slice of pizza!

It looks so scrumptious! Give me!

But... Team Burgers didn't want me eating the pizza slice. They probably wanted me to eat a burger. So, I summoned my pizza-friendly minions.

I Brought A Drednaw Plushie To My Dentist Appointment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What kind of response did I get? Plus, a photo!

Six months ago, I wrote about a poor experience I had at my dental cleaning. Well, that's nothing new—dentist visits are always torturous affairs. I absolutely have dental anxiety. The dentists know that, by the way.

That article from six months ago's headline was, “Remind Me To Bring A Plushie To My Next Dentist Appointment”, and I put in the article's footer that today was the day for the appointment. Truthfully, I didn't need a reminder... anxiety means the thought of the appointment consumed my thoughts for this whole week. And last week, too. Though long-time KoopaTV fan Kody B. gave me a reminder anyway.

Speaking of time periods in the past, two relevant things happened a month ago. One, I got an Oral-B Pro 5000 for my birthday, which is a super-powerful, high-tech automatic toothbrush. (To my knowledge, there is no relationship or association between Kody B. and Oral-B.) Two, I got a Drednaw plushie from The Pokémon Center online store, which was offering pre-Christmas free shipping on plushies. I wanted to get a Wooloo plush too, but they were and still are sold out. Still, I do like Drednaw.

And no, there isn't any hypocrisy in me refusing to buy Pokémon Shield and me buying/wanting to buy plushies of Galar Pokémon.

Perhaps you see where this is going. Yes, I brought Drednaw to the dentist appointment. I think it's fitting, given that Drednaw is an expert with teeth, jaws, and biting. Dentists should appreciate that, right? Though the “dread” part might not be the best for soothing anxiety...

The Scarcity of Wooloo Plushies

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - One Koopa's quest to get a Wooloo... hasn't ended yet.

At the start of this week, I wrote an important article mentioning how the shipping industry has gotten pwned, and Nintendo has closed their online store. However, that's not reflective of every such online store we care about. For example, The Pokémon Company International's Pokémon Center online store is still open. In fact, they're offering free shipping on all orders... not only to the continental United States, but to Hawaii and Alaska, too! (Just don't have high expectations about getting your shipment in a timely manner.)

Once upon a time, near the end of 2019, they introduced a Wooloo plushie. It's 7.5 x 6.3 x 6.3 inches and $16. It sold out very quickly and hasn't been replenished. I've stated that I wanted one. I've also stated that Wooloo is my favourite Generation 8 Galar Pokémon. I still want it. The people who do have the Wooloo plushie have left reviews such as, “very fluffy! nice to cuddle. my favorite part is how he is shaped like a best friend”.

This reminds me of the mad demand for amiibo during the height of that craze, as well as the Wii console. People were accusing Nintendo of purposefully and artificially under-supplying amiibo or Wiis, in order to make them look like rare must-haves. And there's some evidence of this... 

Behold, a new product, introduced just last week. Meet Wooloo Squishy Plush! This Wooloo is 14.25 x 10 x 10.5 inches and $42.

The cheaper Wooloo is still out of stock, but don't worry, you can still get a Wooloo for around 262% more money! (And, to be fair, it's 5x the Wooloo if you treat Wooloo like a rectangular prism. Which you shouldn't. For Wooloo is ROUND.)

Oh, wait, you can't? The bigger, squishy Wooloo sold out immediately?

Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes Released... And More Best Buy Shopping Adventures!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I bought Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes. There's more to the story than that.

I last wrote about Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes in September, writing about its delay to January 2019 (a very smart delay) and how I was still unsure if I should buy it. Either way, January 2019 is here (specifically Friday, January 18) and the game has released. I decided to go to Best Buy today and see if I would impulsively buy it or not. Moment of truth time.

I do want to support the No More Heroes franchise, after all. But Travis Strikes Again strikes me as something to be wary of... again and again. (There's wordplay in that sentence.) That said, it's something I've been paying close attention to since SUDA 51 appeared on that stage when the Nintendo Switch and its concept was formally introduced.

The first thing I see when I get to the Nintendo section of the store is that Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes is nowhere to be found. Instead, another game that I've been agonising over the purchase of was there, and in eye-catching fashion.

Pokémon Sword/Shield: Ghost Tea and Non-Miltank Sausage Rice

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - #NeverForget the Vegetarian option.

During last week's Nintendo Direct, there was a section dedicated to Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield, which makes sense, since they promised news on those games for that Direct prior to it happening. Here's the trailer they showed, featuring some upbeat music:

The total news release included many tidbits of information, including “Surprise Trading”, Pokémon camping, Alcremie whipped cream flavours, custom business cards called League Cards, two new Pokémon, and shelling out in-game cash for even more trainer customisation than previous generations, including the ability to see what haircuts will look like before getting them.

I'll write about two of these topics, because they're the two that I can make topical tangents to:

Fiction Can Influence so Please Stop Overshadowing Girafarig (Also Pictures From My Vacation)!

By SHINYGIRAFARIG - You can see how much I am obsessed about giraffes here.

Last month on September 14, 2016, I traveled from New York City to San Francisco, California, for a babymoon with my husband. So why have I chosen California as a place for a vacation? Well, let's just say that I was influenced by Splatoon and their adorable interpretation of squids. I wanted to see live ones up close, but the problem is that there are barely any aquariums that have them. An aquarium I contacted said they have a very short lifespan so it is considered not worth it to have them. I also read somewhere that they are very high maintenance — so a combination of short lifespan and high maintenance means aquariums do not want to devote their funding for them. I did land on one of the few aquariums in the U.S. that has them, the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

If you clicked that, we can see that three of the cephalopods on that list are squids. But, if you click on the “Common Market Squid” or Hawaiian Bobtail Squid button, it says on their pages they are not on display. Only the bigfin reef squid says it is on the exhibit called “Tentacles.” If you click on that link then you get to this:

The Social Activity War: Fancy Party vs. Costume Party

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Worldwide party time?

Last week, it was announced that we're going to have another Splatfest. For the first time ever, the Splatfest will have all three regions competing simultaneously in the same Splatfest. So while Splatfests before were a way to have regional matchmaking in a game normally without it, this Splatfest will match people in America with those in Japan, like you'd normally get.

The Splatfest will start this Friday night and end Sunday morning. That's Friday the 13th to Sunday the 15th.

The theme?

It's another sponsored Splatfest, this time brought to you by Miitomo.

 
Yeah, I was just writing a few weeks ago about how the sponsored SpongeBob SquarePants Splatfest bothered me, partly because it was sponsored. The simultaneous, yet different Splatfest in Japan was also sponsored. We had a sponsored Splatfest before the Splatfest before that, too. So, for the majority of the Splatfests this year, they're being sponsored by something instead of the whimsical (yet deep) innocent kind of fun activity.

But it's not just any sponsor. It's from another department at Nintendo, since it's presented by the mobile game Miitomo. I was pondering what the goal of Miitomo was and if Nintendo was meeting it, but the most obvious conclusion is to bring the hollow mobile user space to Nintendo hardware. So what the hell is happening here? Why are you trying to get your dedicated console guys to Miitomo? We're already at the desired destination!

Well, whatever. We have subject matter to discuss. Would I rather go to a FANCY PARTY or to a COSTUME PARTY? 

And the truth of the matter? 

Ludwig Got a Nintendo Switch! Impressions Inside?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...KoopaTV is saved! We can be a real Nintendo site now!

It only took four months, but I am now an owner of the Nintendo Switch. To be exact, the grey one, not this neon stuff. More on how I acquired it tomorrow. What's important now are my first impressions.

I got it on Saturday and didn't open it until Saturday night. Rawk and Kamek wanted me to do some lame unboxing video, which a Google representative once told me are the videos that get the most views on YouTube. I think it's weak content, so I'm not going to do it. I took pictures, though:

Closed box...

The Nintendo Switch and the Joy-Con feel very delicate. I don't know how they expect us to treat it like a portable system. You can't fit it in your pocket or anything. If you put it in your bag it'll probably snap apart somehow. That said, I have no problems snapping the Joy-Con to the Switch.

KoopaTV's July 2019 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Another good month.

I would like to extend a welcome to all of the new people who have come to KoopaTV over the past month! At the beginning of every month, I write a newsletter covering everything important that happened in the previous month, as well as some new updates and site news.

...I recommend you check out the informational pages tab on this site and read what's linked off there.

The Top Five Recommended KoopaTV Experiences of July 2019

The first feature of these newsletters is usually a look-back at the top five of the previous month's published works. We usually publish once every weekday, so that means about one in four and a half or so articles will be featured. Here's this month's that you really gotta check out, provided in chronological order:

1. Koopa Kingdom Immigration Family Relocation Services—Kamek's excellent article that shares his expert knowledge in family and child relocation services... in three tips! A lot of Americans could sure take his advice!
2. Perilous Pill Popping: A KoopaTV-Exclusive Investigation Into Dr. Mario—Meanwhile, the two Koopalings on our staff, myself and Wendy, infiltrated Dr. Mario's medical practice as doctors and uncovered some truths (and more questions) about Megavitamins and the nature of the Viruses. And, of course, what Dr. Mario may be plotting.
3. Final Decision in the Chaos vs. Order Final Splatocalypse—It's the last Splatfest decision article that we'll be writing... possibly ever, or at least for some years until Splatoon 3, which I also write about. (Not that it exists yet.)
4. How The Media Botched The Bocchi Bullying Debacle—Some media outlets reported that an innocent 15-year old girl was bullied out of the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate competitive community for beating a top-level player, and this resulted in widespread consternation for Smash Bros. fans. The problem? There was no evidence of this bullying ever taking place.
5. Fire Emblem: Three Houses Released; Dorothea Is Pretty Cute—As the title indicates, Fire Emblem: Three Houses came out on July 26. But as an old-timer Fire Emblem elitist, should I buy Fire Emblem: Three Houses? We had a guest artist contribute some very cute art of Dorothea to try to convince me to do so, which you should check out because it's rather convincing.

If an article you like or may be interested in checking out wasn't on that top five... don't fret! EVERY article on the site is worth reading, and there are some articles not on that list that continue some storylines from earlier in KoopaTV's existence, as well as some that will be set-ups for future stories. So yes, check out everything. Moving on...

KoopaTV Turns Ripe: Five-Year Bananniversary!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The .org really does stand for dot organic?

Welcome to the KoopaTV fifth anniversary article! KoopaTV started our Internet existence on May 12, 2013. It's now five years later, and we're still around!

...Five years and two days. Yeah, we couldn't make the actual anniversary day because the article slipped on a banana and fell. After that, we decided to rewrite this entire article and make it about bananas. You could say that we “went bananas.”

I tripped over the bananas, too, so there's a possibility I'll end up with amnesia.

It's still about our anniversary, of course. You see, much like a banana, KoopaTV has a lot of layers to it. You need to peel a banana to get to its rich goodness, and similarly, you should look below the surface level of what you see on KoopaTV to appreciate this site. At the end of this article, we'll be announcing what exactly turning ripe means for KoopaTV. (Besides a colour change.)

In the meantime, we have some banana-related delicacies to share!

Herman Cain With a Pokémon STOP!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Be careful out there.

After two years of silence on Pokémon-related matters, Herman Cain is back with a message on Pokémon GO. Here is what the former Republican presidential candidate, radio talk show host, and businessman has to say:

Here is Herman Cain's warning to Pokemon players. pic.twitter.com/5mh3CC6K8v

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) July 19, 2016

Follow that advice folks. I don't really want to talk about Pokémon GO and I think it's received an utterly absurd and undue amount of media coverage and cultural resonance. 

But if Herman Cain's gonna mention it (and other sites are going to report on our coverage of him), then I guess I gotta report on it. He's a bit late, though. Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, among other conservative talk radio hosts, were on the Pokémon GO train already.

Herman Cain is the only one who has had previous experience with the series, however. And he really can't stay silent, with his own native Georgia's cemeteries being overran with disrespectful Pokémon GO players invading 'em.

You can read the full story in the Newnan Times-Herald here.
Serious props to them for including the accent in Pokémon.

People playing Pokémon GO are literally finding dead bodies (outside of cemeteries) and falling off of cliffs (to possibly add to the dead body count), along with being robbed and lured by unsavoury dudes with this app. Be careful. Even with it being an “excellent, brilliant concept.”

YOU might turn into the next PokéStop.

Herman Cain is at the Republican National Convention right now and has been all week, and he's been walking everywhere. He claims to be too busy to search for Pokémon, but that doesn't stop there being Pokémon present in Cleveland whether he knows it or not.

It's Herman Cain's favourite Pokémon, Pikachu, found at the Republican National Convention!

Update 7/22/2016:

Herman Cain talking about this on his Radio Show on July 22. Features Ted Cruz being lured on stage.

While Ludwig is writing filler due to DonCon taking up time in the day, the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program's current prize is a $10 eShop card. Just putting that out there. The interview featuring Herman Cain saying his favourite Pokémon is Pikachu has also been re-published to KoopaTV. It's the first thing linked-to in this article.


KoopaTV republished tips on how to stay safe while playing Pokémon GO. Take a look.
After this, KoopaTV reviews how the RNC went overall. Features another plushie in the MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN hat.
One player took Herman Cain's advice and brought his gun.
We presume that you don't need the government forcing you to be safe by banning Pokémon GO altogether.

Favourite Chocolate Splatfest: Milk Fans and Chocolate Lovers Alike Choose Milk Chocolate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - KoopaTV's staff is Team Milk Chocolate.

It feels like just a month ago that we were discussing Splatoon 3 Splatfests and flavour profiles... and that's because that's the case. And here we are again with a Splatfest happening next week. You can pick your team right now. What is your favourite chocolate? Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, or white chocolate?

KoopaTV supported Team Sweet, and Team Sweet under Frye's leadership won over Team Spicy and Team Sour.
...But, yes, it does appear this Splatfest exists because Team Sweet won. Some other foods might be up for debate if another team won.

Clearly, KoopaTV can't support Team Sweet one month and then vote for Team Dark Chocolate the next. Dark Chocolate is not sweet. It can be so bitter that it might override your senses and poison your brain. Here's some evidence of that danger:

Why How Much Consoles Sell Matters To YOU!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It makes a big difference in retail and availability.

I've heard lots of people over the years say they are too mature to think about the console wars. What does it matter to them that Nintendo's Wii U was a sales failure? That doesn't impact one's personal enjoyment of it!

I would ignore network effects at your own peril, people. Hitching a ride on a successful console car (as long as it's not a train) has a lot of benefits. I'll outline three of them in this article. The last one is the real reason this article was written. The first two are just for narrative build-up. ...Building away!

More People to Play With!

This is the most obvious application of network effects. In a world where most multiplayer games are locked to the console they are on (no cross-play), getting all your friends to be on the same console as you is pretty important. If they don't have that console, you don't get to play with them. Then you'll have to make another group of friends. For a lot of gamers, doing that is tough stuff. And you'll get estranged from your first group of friends.

Console popularity and consolidation saves relationships.

I mean, why do you think Wendy doesn't do anything on the site? She hasn't had a Nintendo console in, like, decades.

But what if you don't play games with friends? What if you play games by yourself?

Sleep Kirby With The Best Pillow You'll Ever Own

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - All about Sleep Kirby.

While it looks like Nintendo does not want to write a press release for this result like they did the first round, it is official: Sleep Kirby has won Round 2 (the final round) of the 25th anniversary Kirby Copy Ability poll, after finishing third place in Round 1.

Weird meme people apparently managed to coalesce and make this result happen, which I see as a referendum on Eating vs. Sleeping. Kirby represented Eating in that (there's a Kirby-Jigglypuff picture, and Jigglypuff is literally wearing Sleep Kirby's hat), but if the fans prefer when he's sleeping, then perhaps Kirby should reconsider his identity.

Sleep Kirby is now playable in Kirby Battle Royale, sporting a pillow-based moveset that is supposed to evoke a pillow fight. In Kirby's normal games, this pillow didn't exist and all Sleep Kirby did was put on a sleeping cap and harmlessly sleep in place, taking a nice rest.

Kirby's newfound pillow expertise leads to a word from KoopaTV's newest sponsor:

The Best Chip Dip From A Guy With Teeth Not Made For Crunching Chips: Splatoon 2 Splatfest

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's obviously salsa.

Apparently, we need more than one Splatfest about condiments. You may remember the first official Splatoon 2 Splatfest was about Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup. I sided with Ketchup. Ketchup lost.

This time, the Splatfest for this weekend (November 17; I highly recommend participating in it instead of playing, or buying, a Pokémon: Let's Go game) is about Salsa vs. Guacamole, in a battle about which chip dip is superior.

“What's your favorite chip dip? Salsa or guacamole?”

 
Strangely, Pearl is siding with Salsa and Marina is siding with Guacamole. Yet in Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup, Pearl sided with Mayonnaise and Marina sided with Ketchup.

Reminder that Salsa is made from tomatoes. Guacamole is made from avocados. Mayonnaise is made from eggs. And ketchup is also made from tomatoes.

You'd think you'd keep siding with tomatoes for the consistency, but I suppose in terms of consistency, ketchup and salsa are quite... different. Unlike Pearl and Marina, however, I'm sticking with tomato-based condiments and I'm on Team Salsa. Quite frankly, I don't even remember what guacamole tastes like. But I know salsa very well. Because it's the only way I can effectively get something from chips. Observe:

A Pokémon-Sponsored Splatfest: Pokémon RED vs. BLUE

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Obviously, Pokémon Blue is better.

I never wanted Splatoon's Splatfests to come to this. Ever since Autobots vs. Decepticons, we knew sponsored Splatfests were possible. (Well, ever since Japan's Red Fox vs. Green Tanuki Splatfests, which were their second Splatfest, but no one knows what the hell those are, much less that they're noodles brands.) I just never thought Nintendo would be so self-serving as to advertise themselves.

Even more unheard of, is that it'd be The Pokémon Company behind it — and they're isolationists!

Pokémon presents...
A Splatfest that will finally settle an old score!

That's right. Pokémon presents. As in, about to show something. You're not getting any presents from these people. Pokémon Red, Blue, and Yellow coming out on the Virtual Console isn't a present. You gotta pay for it this February 27th. Or later if it's not a day one purchase for you.

Anyway, this Splatfest tasks North America and Europe (and Oceania) to choose between Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue. For Japan, it's between Pokémon Red and Pokémon Green, so they have a different graphic.

The goal of this article is to convince you to give Marie another try: Support Team Pokémon Blue version!