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Monday, August 19, 2019

Ludwig Ventures to Best Buy... Does He Get Fire Emblem: Three Houses?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Did I buy the game? ...And what else did I see there?

I needed to refill my stash of Nintendo eShop gift cards. If I don't have a supply of those at my desk, you all won't be happy, since I'm supposed to give those codes away in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program.

So I went to Best Buy to buy some more.

And I saw many, many troubling things in the world of retail.

For one, Nintendo apparently replaced Lord Bowser as the face of the $50 Nintendo eShop gift card with... LINK. Is this how Andrew Jackson is going to feel? What was wrong with Bowser?

But there's a lot more insights. For example, take a look at what's left of the amiibo section. This used to be a big shelf

Best Buy amiibo 2019 Bayonetta Pichu Dr. Mario Wii Fit Trainer Robin Zero Suit Samus
Remember when Nintendo claimed that they were still “all in” with amiibo last year?

Meanwhile, the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One aisles literally had bargain bins. Persona 5 was in one of them, along with Call of Duty games of years past. Half of the anime aisle was Dragon Ball stuff. Fortnite and Minecraft had their own sections. Then there was the small Nintendo Labo section, which was so pathetic I had to take a picture:

Best Buy Nintendo Labo Robot Kit Variety Kit on sale clearance 2019
Price labels, from top left and then clockwise: $25 for Nintendo Labo Robot Kit ($35 off), $40 for Nintendo Labo VR Kit Starter Set + Blaster, $70 for Nintendo Labo Vehicle Kit, and $25 for Nintendo Labo Variety Kit ($45 off).
Those price cuts weren't announced or anything. It's a clearance sale to get those things off the shelves... and it worked?

This line of merchandise caught my eye, though... it made me think:

Best Buy Mocchi Super Mushroom Koopa Shell plushes plushies Mario Kart Zelda plush throws
Pillow-sized Koopa shell plushes... and some Mushrooms too.

I decided against buying the Koopa shell plushie because I can just imagine coming home with it and having to hear Lord Bowser's reaction. He'd say I already have a shell. On my back. A real one. What do I need a plush for? And it's not like buying a plush King Bowser as an imaginary friend. A Koopa shell isn't a person. It's a part of the body. It's like a human buying this Penis Neck Pillow With Foreskin Pocket from I Heart Guts. (Uterus Plush for women...or maybe men would want that more?) There's a reason that's a niche company.

I did, however, buy a bunch of eShop cards. More importantly, I bought Fire Emblem: Three Houses after hearing a lot of good things about Fire Emblem: Three Houses following my release article, very much against the wishes of RawkHawk2010 and his growing font size petition (though it hasn't succeeded yet in making the font size grow).

To be fair and balanced, I'll share another story. 

Kamek went to GameStop today and he looked to see “if there's anything worth getting. Not getting Three Houses.” An hour later, he reported, “Meh. Still nothing I want.”

The end.

When will Ludwig actually start PLAYING Fire Emblem: Three Houses, though? That's a completely different question with an unknown answer. He needs to finish his playthrough of Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn for the fourth-and-a-half time... and probably needs to clear through his Switch backlog a bit more.

Ludwig last went to Best Buy exactly seven months ago to buy games that are still in his backlog.
Ludwig finally returned to Best Buy on September 9, 2022.


  1. We cannot venture into Three Houses together if you clear out your backlog first! XDD (I know, I already ventured in, but I'm near the beginning still.)

    1. I toooold you not to start. You have Paper Mario: Color Splash to keep you entertained!

      ...F-Fine I won't clear out Travis Strikes Again or start Hollow Knight. >__<;

    2. You were planning to play all of Hollow Knight first too?? (I also have that sitting in my backlog.)

    3. N-No, I wasn't planning on doing that... I'm just... stating that for the record.

    4. HOLD IT!

      Not... uh, right now! >.>

      I'm like 10 hours away from finishing Radiant Dawn. That should last me 'til Sunday...!?!

    5. A bit longer if I get game overs and have to restart... >_>

    6. I'm on Endgame now.

      Endgame, however, is divided into FIVE parts. I tried starting the first one but I got pwned instantly.

    7. Maybe you can write some articles for me and I'll use the extra time to play. :o

    8. Article title: "Ludwig Hasn't Started Three Houses Yet"

    9. Hm, I wonder how you can carry a whole article based on that premise.

      (Ludwig also hasn't started Hollow Knight yet and no one's complaining about that.
      Did you know that Ludwig also owns Red Steel on the Wii and has never played it?)

    10. Details, details. But if that means you're going to play through Hollow Knight with me once we've finished Three Houses.......

    11. *sneaks in* Done yet? Is it Three Houses time? :P

    12. I haven't played any videogames since Sunday.

      I. WILL. PLAY.
      ...Radiant Dawn.

  2. Seems the target audience for I Heart Guts includes medical students going through studying specific organs for their specialty, specialists who unironically have these plushies in their office, relative of patients who buy these for patients who just went though a surgery for the real organ counterpart they just got operated on, probably mostly women buy the penis plushies if they have a huge collection of sex toys and women probably are the ones who buy the uterus and vulva plushies to show people a simplified depiction of these body parts to people who can never seem to get the anatomy for these parts and are laughed at on r/badwomensanatomy.

    I am sure you probably deal with nonshelled species who do not understand a shell is not merely clothes but part of your spine and need a plush to educate them.

    1. I'd rather just impale those idiots with the spikes on my shell.

      Those I suppose it's fortunate that women who have to endure my lack of human anatomical understanding don't do the same thing with Instead they show their plushies. Maybe. Never happened to me before. Dunno what kinda person just has them on-hand for that situation.

    2. I saw a nurse with the Ovary lapel pin when I was at the hospital in the delivery room:

      I had a feeling people in the medical field would like these products.

    3. Congrats; you're absolutely spot-on.

      (I was briefly wondering to myself what I Heart Guts had to do with an article supposedly about Best Buy; then I was quickly reminded.)

  3. I've been itching for a good purchase from Gamestop, but there hasn't been anything that jumps out at me for months!

    1. Buy eShop cards and use them to buy Ace Attorney games.


  4. Fire Emblem is the Nintendo franchise that I WANT to get into but I really just can't. For one thing, my very first experience was with Radiant Dawn and I ended up trading it back and not even caring that the value went way up after because the plot was just soul-crushing to me. I then got the GBA FE, Blazing Sword/Blazing Blade/Whatever, and it just frustrates me to no end because A) I subscribe to the Marxist School of RPG Level Grinding (everyone's levels must even out as closely as possible) and B) I absolutely have to make sure no one dies.

    1. Did you try the sister series Advance Wars instead? Has a similar grid based game play but no need to worry about leveling up or having to keep your units alive as they are impersonal soldiers, you buy your own units most of the time though there are predeployed missions where you have the be the last one standing but it does not carry over to the next mission anyway.

    2. I played the first Advance Wars even before I discovered Fire Emblem. They're okay, the sequel was a step down from the first game IMO for not seemingly allowing ways to rank high/get at the Neotanks for each faction without using very specific strategies.


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