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Friday, June 23, 2017

Reminder: Mario and Cappy CAPTURED Shinzō Abe!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Always go out into the world with PROTECTION!

Exactly ten months ago — August 23, 2017 — we EXPOSED the evils of Mario's cap: The being we now know as Cappy, thanks to the E3 2017 reveals about Super Mario Odyssey. When we talked about what Cappy did to Japan's Prime Minister Shinzō Abe, we described it as merely the beginning of more horrors to come:
“In fact, it's an extremely concerning event that we should all brace ourselves for!”

Not much has really changed since that article, in terms of what happened or how it happened. Cappy is the ultimate evil in our universe, and she (...I'm assuming their gender) has allied with Mario, the ultimate evil in my world. It's a potent and deadly combination. Not even the trees are safe.

Super Mario Odyssey Cappy Mario's Cap holding merging
This is the moment that our fates were sealed... for ruination.

Is there anything we can do to survive? Well, maybe? That's what this article wants to explore.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Bring Dragon Ball FighterZ to Nintendo Switch!

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Pitching a Switching.

If you followed KoopaTV's E3 coverage last week, then you may have realized that there were only two games showcased worth caring about: Super Mario Odyssey and Dragon Ball FighterZ. The latter may not have exactly been a close second when it came to KoopaTV's reactions as whole, but it matters not. This was the first Dragon Ball game to basically ever have a presence at E3. This was important enough to be front and center at a Microsoft press conference (introduced by Phil Spencer himself) which hilariously made Microsoft have the most anime conference of the entire Electronic Entertainment Expo. It soon became clear that for many it was Odyssey's sole competition:


Pictured above: Dragon Ball FighterZ producer Tomoko Hiroki with a metric ton of E3 awards

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

The Wonderful 1237 Strategy Guides: Carly Fiorina

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And you thought I'd use this day to discuss something topical?

After a lengthy absence, Wonderful Wednesday is back! In case you forgot, Wonderful Wednesday is when, every Wednesday, KoopaTV digs deeper into an aspect of its hit 2016 PC game, The Wonderful 1237! The game is based off of the 2015–2016 Republican presidential primaries. For the past several Wonderful Wednesday articles, I've been writing strategy guides for the seventeen unique minigames in The Wonderful 1237, all from each of the seventeen Republican presidential candidates you will be competing with.

As explained in the Wonderful Wednesday article about those minigames from three months ago, I've been writing these strategy guides — one for each candidate, in a specific order. This one is about the WOMAN who IS THE ONE FEMALE: Carly Fiorina. Carly Fiorina is the reason why The Wonderful 1237 has gender-neutral language when talking about opposing candidates. But is she even worth the consideration? Well, she'll be very formidable if she manages to survive to California. Take a look at her stats below, and then her minigame details:

Candidate Stats

Base stats and growth:
Beauty: 4 + (1–5)
Cool: 1 + (0–3)
Cute: 0 + (1–4)
Smart: 0 + (0–3)
Tough: 0 + (0–3)

Average untouched stats after 14 rounds:
Beauty: 46
Cool: 22
Cute: 35
Smart: 21
Tough: 21

Average likelihood of surviving Iowa if untouched:
Likely. (Carly Fiorina will have 12 delegates on average; need 11 to clear.)
The Wonderful 1237 Carly Fiorina versus vs minigame endorsement fight
“Versus... Carly Fiorina! Fight!”

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

E3 2017 Best and Worst Conferences

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The PC Gaming Show wasn't a conference, hence, it can't be ranked in a tier list of conferences!

It's not only annual KoopaTV tradition to exhaustively (and exhaustingly) cover the Electronics Entertainment Expo, but to also reflect on what we spend a lot of time covering in a “winners and losers” kind of article. That also means that every year we reject the logic that “mature” pacifists have that E3 isn't “about” winners and losers, and that this is a bad mentality to have.

With that said, here are the best and worst, from best-to-worst:
  1. Nintendo
  2. Microsoft
  3. Ubisoft
  4. Bethesda
  5. Electronic Arts
  6. Sony
As for why, here are the post-E3 thoughts, worst-to-best:

Monday, June 19, 2017

KoopaTV's Devolver Digital E3 2017 Non-Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We watched this a week later, and opinions differ on whether even that was worth it.

Before we can close out the reaction logs portion of E3 Weeks 2017, there is one company's conference that we never live-reacted to. That is Devolver Digital, a company that has never been mentioned on KoopaTV before and no one has ever heard of. How did such a small, irrelevant company manage to book E3 time? (Even if it's at 1 AM on Monday.)

It's...quickly apparent how this managed to happen. Read our log for how, and follow along with this embedded video:

Friday, June 16, 2017

E3 2017 News Round-Up

By ROXY - This is to provide you high-level highlights for E3 2017.

While my KoopaTV colleagues have done an exhaustive job covering all of the major company press conferences and Nintendo Treehouse Live footage for E3 2017 (check out links to every one of those reaction logs here), people who do not have a lot of time on their hands just want the highlights. KoopaTV has that, too, with this article.

While KoopaTV focuses on its editorial operations, I am here to provide just the facts. I will go company by company. If there is a particular bit of news that is missing that you feel is worthy of being a highlight, please say so in the comments section below.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 3: Re-Runs and Good-Bye!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...And... we'll just have the rest of the day in one log.

It turns out that Day 3 for Nintendo Treehouse Live was the re-run day. After the previous log, they stopped showing new stuff and just showed stuff they've already shown. We still watched it and reacted to it, but... there's not much here.

So when you look at Thursday on the E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule, you'll see a bunch of games covered in one log. Talked about here are Splatoon (multiplayer modes among Treehouse members), Metroid: Samus Returns (with Yoshio Sakamoto sitting with Treehouse members), The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild DLC Pack 1 discussion, Fire Emblem Warriors (with some staff members present), and ARMS (featuring Mr. Yabuki).

Then, a good-bye.

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 3: Ever Oasis & Super Mario Odyssey

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Frozen Oasis of Super Mario Odyssey, at that!

The first half of this Nintendo Treehouse Live reaction log is the return of Ever Oasis for the Nintendo 3DS. The second, and much more lively half, is the last time we'll see Super Mario Odyssey at E3 2017. Both games have an oasis. Oasises of trouble...

...If YOU want to stay out of trouble, be sure to keep track of the E3 Weeks 2017 action with the E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule!

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 3: Splatoon 2 Single-Player!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Welcome to Day 3!

Howdy folks! Today is the LAST day of E3 2017. Bummer, right? (Nah, we're tired.) Check all of the days of E3 2017 here.

The very first awesome game being shown by Nintendo Treehouse Live on Day 3? Fan favourite Splatoon 2! This time around, we'll be seeing the single-player mode first shown in the ARMS Direct. It's similar to Splatoon 1, but with a critical difference...

KoopaTV's E3 2017 Phil Spencer Interview Reactions

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Taking a Nintendo breather.

KoopaTV has a duty this E3 to cover ALL of the industry's important figures as best as it knows how. (And because the more logs the better, right?!)

ARMS Open Invitational Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is the last tournament we'll be live-reacting to this E3 2017.

Tons of action so far these E3 Weeks 2017.

But it's not done yet. This is Nintendo's big fighting game coming out this Friday, ARMS. But... our staff isn't really impressed with ARMS, so this tournament represents ARMS on its last legs.

...How strong will something on its last legs be when they've only worked on upper body strength? Well, we'll find out with this ARMS Open Invitational 2017 tournament! 

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 2: Sushi Striker

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - New game: Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido.

Never heard of Sushi Striker? Neither have we. It's a world premiere!

Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido is a Nintendo 3DS game from indiezero, featuring sushi plates and sushi and animals and... yeah, matching sushi plate colours. Just read our log and figure it out, since we're still having trouble with the concept and we don't have enough time to dwell on it right now, given our very busy E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 2: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild DLC Pack 1

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - As far as Ludwig is concerned, this whole log is spoilers.

I determined that thanks to my Wii U's battery life problem, when given the choice between buying The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild on the Wii U or the Switch, I should pick the Switch version...

Well, I don't have Nintendo's latest console yet. So, I don't have The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. My only experience with it is last year's MEGA-LOG for Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2016.

Fortunately, Rawk has it, so most of this log is really him.

For full E3 Weeks 2017 coverage, see the schedule here

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 2: Miitopia

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How can anyone be excited about this?

Let's admit this upfront: Miitopia won't be a game any of us will buy, and none of us were interested in it for a second.

That said, we have a duty to live-react with attention, so we gave it some kind of chance. There's a lot of Nintendo Treehouse lore in this Nintendo Treehouse Live session to pay attention to. If you'd rather read something else, there's a ton of other reaction logs you can access by browsing the site, or the E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule!

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 2: Rabbids and Odyssey

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Mecha Wiggler and Rabbid Peach is an asswipe.

It's all Mario in this log. You got Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle featuring RABBID KONG and a ton of babbling from Ubisoft, and then Super Mario Odyssey which still has so many secrets and wonders for us.

You can keep track of the tons of E3 Weeks 2017 action by checking out our Schedule, here! Now, for the reaction log!

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 2: Splatoon 2 Salmon Run

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Man, that 80% difficulty is tough.

We're back! Last night's long Splatoon 2 World Inkling Invitational wasn't enough. This time, Nintendo Treehouse Live and the Squid Research Lab are giving us an opportunity to watch Salmon Run, the team vs. computer cooperative mode.

For some background on Splatoon 2's Salmon Run mode, see the April 12 2017 Nintendo Direct here.

Oh, and of course, follow E3 Weeks 2017 with the Schedule

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 2: Yoshi 2018 Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Forget the Yoshi, we have giraffes and cows!

Well, this is a great Nintendo Treehouse Live segment. It's Yoshi for the Nintendo Switch! ...It doesn't have a real name yet.

Despite the lack of a name, there is a lot of care and detail put into this game, and we're honoured to have it included this E3 2017 along with all of the other great games so far.

Pokkén Tournament DX Invitational Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Also, the beginning of Day 2 of Nintendo Treehouse Live!

HOWDY FOLKS! Did you get rest? No? Oh well. We didn't either.

Either way, we're back (see the whole E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule here), and this time, for some Pokkén Tournament DX action. First from Nintendo Treehouse Live and then with an 8-person tournament featuring icky YouTubers and actual fighting game community people!

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Splatoon 2 World Inkling Invitational Championships Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I didn't put 2017 in the article title because... this won't happen in 2018, will it?

Here is KoopaTV's very intense Splatoon 2 pre-release coverage before it releases in a month: We live-reacted to the two-and-a-half hour Splatoon 2 World Inkling Invitational Championships (2017), taking place at Nintendo's E3 2017 booth.

This is the last event of June 13 at E3 2017, which is great 'cause this is exhausting work for me, Rawk, and Vortexica. We were here with you all day! But hey, this tournament was... EXHILARATING.

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 1: ARMS and Super Mario Odyssey

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Treehouse-exclusive Wooden Kingdom area.

We have seen enough of ARMS, but hey, it's ARMS on stream. But after that is the much more important Super Mario Odyssey which gets an EXCLUSIVE level, the Wooden Kingdom, for Nintendo Treehouse Live. Glad we're watching it.

I think it's about how we all come to agreement that there is something fundamentally just wrong about ARMS.

Anyway, I'm here, Rawk is here, Vortexica is here. Our awesome E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule is... here

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 1: Xenoblade and MINION QUEST!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions is highly relevant to this website.

If you can get through our paltry coverage of Xenoblade Chronicles 2 on the Nintendo Treehouse Live stream for E3 2017 Day 1, there is a very important game announcement in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions. You can guess which game a website called KoopaTV cares about more.

(But Xenoblades Chronicles 2 has a giraffe god.) 

Keep track of all of E3 2017 using our E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule here, and enjoy our reaction log.

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 1: Rabbids and Warriors

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Two games we really love to hate, Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle and Fire Emblem Warriors!

Just for some background, this is about how grossed we were when Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle was leaked/sort of announced prior to E3 Weeks 2017, and this is our latest thoughts on Fire Emblem Warriors (not a series homage). Negative all around.

Still, it's good that not everything on Nintendo's Treehouse Live E3 2017 is a blockbuster, 'cause we have other logs we needed to publish. We fully admit we were diverted in our attention, but hey, we still DID react.

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2017 Day 1: Metroid Samus Returns

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hey, look! Metroid gets attention.

Sorry for being behind, but there's so much Nintendo stuff to cover AND SUDDENLY IT'S A NEW WORLD PREMIERE. Keep track of everything using our E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule.

It's Metroid: Samus Returns, a reimagining of Metroid II for the Nintendo 3DS! We live react to it!

KoopaTV's Nintendo Spotlight E3 2017 Live Reactions! + Super Mario Odyssey Treehouse Live

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The (hopefully better) half of E3 2017 begins.

You should clearly be able to see from the E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule this pattern: Saturday to Monday is... the whole gaming industry but Nintendo. Tuesday to Thursday is Nintendo.

It doesn't take a genius that a site named KoopaTV cares more about Nintendo's stuff than the other companies, and it all begins right here, right now, with the Nintendo Spotlight. It's a 25-minute presentation supposedly sticking to a discussion on Nintendo Switch games set for holiday 2017.

What will we think of it, and will it convince the rest of the staffers to step up our efforts to acquire the supply-shortened Switch? I'm here, Rawk is here, Vortexica is here. ARE YOU HERE? ...Even if you're not, you can still read our live reactions on-demand, right below: 

Monday, June 12, 2017

KoopaTV's Sony E3 2017 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's all about the games, not that we could hear them (hear them).

Time for Sony's turn in E3 Weeks 2017, capping out Monday.

I'm Ludwig, Rawk is Rawk, Vortexica is breezinabout. Let's get this Sony show on the road. Not much to say, but I guess the question is this: Will we want to buy a PlayStation 4 PRO? 

(No.)

KoopaTV's Ubisoft E3 2017 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hey. It's me again. As for Aisha Tyler...

If there is one company whose E3 conferences truly deserve to be called presentations, it's Ubisoft. All style and little-to-moderate substance is how Ubisoft rolls, and we love it almost every year. It reminds us of us, and we put ourselves above everyone else.

...Anyway, let's get to the log. I'm here, Rawk's here, and Vortex is here. Unlike the previous log, I'm actually awake the whole time. It's Ubisoft. If I won't be awake for THIS, I might as well not be doing any E3 coverage at all.

KoopaTV's PC Gaming Show at E3 2017 Live Reactions

By RAWKHAWK2010 - PC Gamers Are Weird

This came out of nowhere (and wasn't planned to be on the schedule) and at least one of the staffers was asleep when it started. Let's get to it then!:

KoopaTV's Bethesda E3 2017 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Was it worth staying up for?

I don't even like Bethesda and I doubt I ever will at this rate. What the hell were they thinking putting a conference at 12 AM Eastern? Regardless of what I think of them as a company (and I have nothing but contempt for Todd Howard, last seen making a cameo in the Nintendo Switch reveal event), that can be overridden by a good presentation. Will I (and the rest of the KoopaTV staff) respect them for their games?

At least they're aware that this is a stupid timeframe.
Still, self-awareness doesn't change the health risks of staying up this late for what E3 promises to be a mind-blowing presentation. I'm here. Rawk is here. Everyone is asleep, and good for them. Either way, you'll get the play-by-play reactions of the staffers that are awake. This keeps us honest! Who knows, we might even fall asleep during this if we don't like it.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Reggie Fils-Aimé vs. Geoff Keighley: ARMS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Live @ E3, Keighley waggling!

Here I thought we were just watching this, but apparently this was for publishing.

President of Nintendo of America Reggie Fils-Aimé was on Geoff Keighley's YouTube E3 stream thing to talk a little bit about how E3 Weeks 2017 was going for him. Then they fought in ARMS.

We watched it happen. Here are our reactions: 

KoopaTV's Microsoft E3 2017 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Breaking technological advances in gaming as we know it, or...

Welcome to the start of the second calendar week of E3 Weeks 2017! This is KoopaTV, and we're going to give you so much coverage this week. Just check out what we have planned in our E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule!

Right now, we're going to bring you our live reaction log for Microsoft! (Otherwise known as the Xbox E3, but may feature Windows stuff as well.) Microsoft has a lot they could share with us, about the future of their whole gaming ecosystem. Microsoft themselves seem confused about what Project Scorpio will do to the market, so this is their best time to enlighten both us and their own company, as well as the industry, as to what will occur.

Joining me on this potentially historic conference are KoopaTV staffers RawkHawk2010 and Vortexica (breezinabout).

Saturday, June 10, 2017

KoopaTV's Electronic Arts E3 2017 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The start of E3 Weeks 2017!

It begins: The first of the many KoopaTV reaction log articles that will be produced during E3 2017! This one is by Electronic Arts. Not content with staying in the same calendar week as the rest of E3, Electronic Arts has decided to move their conference to the calendar week before hand. Will this start a trend to be manifested in 2018? Either way, it's why we're calling this E3 Weeks 2017, as seen in our Schedule.

So, the KoopaTV staff is here, sitting on our chairs. Well, most of us. To be exact, the folks that showed up for the company that is perpetually always rated poorly by our staff for their E3 presentations are myself, RawkHawk2010, and Vortexica. (Guess Wendy's chair burned down, and Roxy is... gonna do something for the end of E3. Kamek? I dunno about that guy.)

Friday, June 9, 2017

E3 Weeks 2017 Schedule!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Check out that ‘s’! Aren't we so lovably quirky?

It's the most, WONDERFUL TIME, of the YEAAAAAR! ♫

Tomorrow (Saturday) begins what we are calling... E3 Weeks! Thanks to Electronic Arts wanting to be edgy and starting the Electronic Entertainment Expo festivities on a different calendar week than every other company. E3 proper begins June 13 and ends June 15, but we're having conferences as early as Saturday, June 10. (As opposed to a singular week.) Originally, I wanted to call it “E3 Month” but since we didn't start this at the beginning of the month and only have 3 weeks of the month left, it's E3 Weeks.

With so much COMMOTION and possible confusion going on, KoopaTV is here to provide you the valuable service of making a SCHEDULE. We're going to watch and make live reaction logs to all of the conferences and most of the Nintendo Treehouse Live events.

We're also changing our logo for this time period:

KoopaTV E3 Weeks 2017 logo banner Week Mario Cap eyes
Concept and design by RawkHawk2010.

Now, for the schedule. This will be updated throughout E3 Weeks 2017 with our logs and events! Oh, and all times are in EASTERN TIMEZONE. E3 itself is in the Pacific timezone, 3 hours away.

Watchin' E3 In Our Beautiful Chairs

By RAWKHAWK2010 - WHAT DO I SEE? BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT'S ’TV!



Well, it's almost here. E3 — the fifth to be experienced by KoopaTV.org. And I, RawkHawk2010, who doesn't write articles unless it's absolutely necessary, which means you know this one's important, recognizes the need to discuss one E3 detail in particular.

The chairs.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Why People Didn't Like The Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon Pokémon Direct

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I can, of course, only speak for myself.

I think Tuesday's Pokémon Direct (June 6, 2017) has a very mixed opinion among the fanbase. KoopaTV live-reacted to it and our staff gave our honest and raw reactions to what we were shown. Consider it a preparation for E3. All of the staff present had a negative reaction. Some staff members believed in FAKE NEWS reports about the existence of a game that hasn't materialised. Others thought we would get the Generation 4 Sinnoh remakes. I myself had no expectations. I saw that The Pokémon Company International promised BIG news that would get fans excited, and I remember that they have a history of toying with what gets people excited.

And so, we got this Direct, which I'll embed once more because I want to talk about it in detail as to why someone like me, who had no hype or expectations going into it, came away disappointed.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The Decapitated Mario Press Conference

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He's bullying us!

I would like to thank everyone for coming here. I'm pretty nervous right now, and when I get nervous, I tend to make jokes. 

“We're here, on behalf of King Bowser Koopa and the Royal Koopa Family (hence the royal “we”), to discuss what you may have seen circulate the news and social media lately:

Mario head decapitated bloody Nintendo King Bowser Koopa no hat cap body Kathy Griffin parody KoopaTV
King Bowser Koopa holding a decapitated Mario head.
(Photo credit to silver-lucas)


We would like to explain the origins of this photo shoot with you today.

We're not afraid of Mario. He's a bully. The Royal Koopa Family has been dealing with white guys trying to keep the Koopas down throughout its whole existence, even since King Bowser was a baby. Regarding the image above, we've been in warzones. We understand how horrifying beheadings are. They're done by those nasty people over at ISIS, who have already claimed the lives of Koopa Troopas.

However... we need to stand up and fight. Mario and his family are personally — PERSONALLY — trying to ruin the lives of Koopa Kingdom's royal family and citizens forever! 

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

KoopaTV's June 6, 2017 Pokémon Direct LIVE REACTIONS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Eight minutes of wasting our time, and yours!

Are you hyped for a new pre-E3 2017 Nintendo Direct? This one is brought to you by The Pokémon Company and Game Freak!

There's all sorts of interesting Pokémon stuff we can look forward to. Sinnoh remakes, for example. Will this deliver?


This is taking place in our [Koopa Keep] AIM Blast, featuring... me! RawkHawk2010! AND... Vortexica! Yes, he's alive, folks

He might not wish to be after this Direct, though. 

Monday, June 5, 2017

Renamed Details Of Nintendo Switch Online, and Price

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Old information with new names gets a new press release. Plus, exposing FAKE NEWS about licensed products.

About four and a half months ago before Nintendo launched the Nintendo Switch, I published a very detailed analysis article on the then-announced online features that Nintendo will be offering as a subscription service for the Nintendo Switch. I was pretty critical of it.

Since then, Nintendo has updated SOME of the features — they updated two of the four subscriber-only ones, and zero of the four for-everyone features. PLUS, they announced the subscription pricing:
  • 1-month membership: $4
  • 3-month membership: $8 ($2.67 per month)
  • 12-month membership: $20 ($1.67 per month)
Also: Instead of launching in late 2017, the subscription will begin sometime in 2018. Online services will be free until then.

Let's talk about the two updated features and anything else new.

Friday, June 2, 2017

Fidget Spinners Are An Epidemic

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm completely culture-shocked.

Disclaimer: This article is totally out-of-character in terms of KoopaTV's scope and myself. KoopaTV isn't supposed to be my personal blog, but... here we are. I need to say SOMETHING about this, and this is my Internet rant outlet. Still, there's plenty of gaming tangential references mixed in here, just for fun.

On Wednesday I went to the local Chabad for Shavuot, the holiday that the Jews celebrate to mark when we received the Ten Commandments. Afterwards, they have this dairy buffet (the dairy food group is the one customarily associated with the holiday of Shavuot) featuring ICE CREAM. But to get to that, you need to sit through the prayer part and the actual Ten Commandments being read. Free ice cream tends to attract a lot of kids (free anything tends to attract a lot of Jews). I got there at 6:05 PM, which was slightly late (6:00 PM starting time) but relatively early in Jewish-time.

However... slowly but surely, Jews kept coming in. Families with their children. It was then that I started noticing something curious. There were these three-sided freaky devices that looked like Telepathos's hands (I know him from Team Kirby Clash Deluxe) in some of the kids’ hands, and they were spinning the protruding parts. ...Well, okay, it's a prop, sure. But... ALL of the kids had one.

It was the first time I had ever encountered a fidget spinner in-person, only having previously read tales about them from the New Super Luigi U trash-posting community on Miiverse over the past several weeks. They suddenly just exploded in popularity. 

Thursday, June 1, 2017

KoopaTV's May 2017 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Oh hey, now it's June.

We just finished May 2017. What's May known for? The month of our founding, and the penultimate month prior to the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3). Now we're going to have our busiest month OF THE YEAR.

But, prior to that, let's review our May. It was a great May, you know. Lots of fantastic content.

Top Five Recommended Articles of May 2017

This will be our first TOP FIVE in months! Yes, May is the first month since January that had FIVE articles every weekday instead of THREE. And there's certainly enough content to fill a top five, or even more. But then it wouldn't be selective, would it?

  1. The Optimal Way to Play Team Kirby Clash Deluxe
  2. Finally, The Paper Mario: Color Splash Review 
  3. King Bowser's Cook-Out!! 
  4. Sonic Forces: Custom Hero — Brilliant, or Disaster?
  5. Terror in Manchester, UK! ...Hey, Where's Vortexica?

Those articles are presented in chronological order. Every article on KoopaTV is worth reading, even worthless ones like yesterday's.

Just like our articles, our readers are amazing. So on that note...

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Coffee and Gaming

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I play games and I don't drink coffee.

Late last night, President Donald John Trump tweeted, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”. The tweet is now deleted, but it was there for a while and was apparently his most-retweeted tweet since his inauguration. In its place, the President tweeted this:


He never completed his thought. I thought “covfefe” was supposed to be “kerfuffle”, while most people think it was “coverage”. ...KoopaTV staffer RawkHawk2010 believes it was coffee.

So, rather than this week's Wednesday being a Wonderful Wednesday strategy guide for The Wonderful 1237 (it was gonna be Carly Fiorina's minigame!), it's going to be about coffee. What's there to say about coffee? I don't know. I don't drink it. But with respect to our normal publishing schedule, you could say that today is... A COFFEE BREAK!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Fire Emblem Warriors Not a Series Homage... and Advance Wars Has No Love

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Maybe we should've done the Memorial Day article on Advance Wars.

We've brought up almost everything from the Fire Emblem Direct again besides... Fire Emblem Warriors. It's not something I care about, and the latest news from Famitsu magazine will make it something I care about even less.

The biggest takeaway is this:
The characters that appear are generally from Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light and Fire Emblem Awakening, as well as Fire Emblem Fates. This won’t be a gathering of the protagonists from across the series.”
This is in contrast with Hyrule Warriors, which IS a gathering of characters across the whole series, as you can figure out by all of the game-themed DLC packs. (And I didn't get it despite actually being interested in its characters because I sure ain't interested in Warriors gameplay.)

I guess it makes sense if you look at the results from the Fire Emblem Heroes Choose Your Legends ballot. (Check out the excellent analysis from Kantopia.) The top-scoring characters that weren't main protagonists are all from Fire Emblem Awakening or Fire Emblem Fates.

By the way, just to support my point from my Fire Emblem article about Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valencia, Fire Emblem Gaiden got the least amount of votes for its characters of any Fire Emblem game. It wasn't exactly close. Really, no one cared about or liked Fire Emblem Gaiden.

Monday, May 29, 2017

A Memorial for The Law, Which is Dead

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The rule of law is dead on Earth.

I had three ideas for this year's Memorial Day article: This, something about the Fire Emblem series, or something about Vortexica. The latter seems... inappropriate and premature, even given recent circumstances. The middle is a bit redundant given Memorial Day 2016 (see the bottom of this article for a list of our previous Memorial Day articles), and I don't even think it's dead given the hope for Fire Emblem on the Nintendo Switch.

So, we're gonna get political (and/or Ace Attorney) again and just say the whole concept of the law is dead. My basis for this claim is what we said in a KoopaTV article in July of 2016: Hillary Clinton: The Dark Age of the Law.

The entire point of that article was making the claim that the law was dead due to its inequitable application between people like Hillary Clinton, and people like... everyone else. I wrote that,
The man who will bring us out of these dark ages and into an era of brilliant golden light [is] [...] Donald Trump.”
WELL. We've had President Donald John Trump for over four months now. Is the law still in a dark age? What of Hillary Clinton?

This reoccurring music embed, along with, you know, the title of the article, should let you know my thoughts into the matter: 

Friday, May 26, 2017

The False Nintendo Marketing Spin on Team Kirby Clash Deluxe

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A fun game that doesn't deserve disingenuous marketing.

Just a few days ago, Nintendo sent out a push notification to everyone who allows themselves to receive those on their Nintendo 3DS. It was about Team Kirby Clash Deluxe!

This free-to-play Kirby game is all the rage on the Nintendo eShop, and Nintendo just wanted to make sure everyone else got in the action. After all, it's a better experience when people on your Nintendo 3DS friends list are playing the game actively instead of just being stuck at Level 2 forever. (Looking at you, Ray and Nandin.)

However, this Nintendo-sent Team Kirby Clash Deluxe push notification made a variety of... duplicitous claims about the game's content and feature set.


There's poor people confused on Miiverse about this push notification, so let's clear the air about it. First, I transcribed the whole thing verbatim below. 

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Leaked First Look At Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - After I called it fake news for months, Ubisoft apparently confirmed it somewhere.

I want to keep any and all Rabbids content on this website to a minimum. Unfortunately, Ubisoft and Nintendo are going to make that difficult over the next several months. Back during Ubisoft's E3 2013, RawkHawk2010 exclaimed:
“I can't believe the Rabbids are still around.”
The year after in Ubisoft's E3 2014, RawkHawk2010 said:
“Rabbids are hideous characters.”

Meanwhile, during E3 2015 I didn't know what the Minions were and thought that Electronic Arts made them up as their version of the Rabbids.

That's basically KoopaTV's Rabbids history, but it looks like there will be more to come. Ubisoft apparently has confirmed the existence of Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle after rumours and leaks were swirling in dark corners of disreputable media outlets. It's some sort of weird RPG...thing, featuring Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, and four Rabbids dressed up as those four characters.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Wonderful 1237 Strategy Guides: Chris Christie

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's pretty obvious that Chris Christie is on Team Burgers.

Welcome to another edition of the strategy guides for KoopaTV's amazing browser-based Flash game, The Wonderful 1237! The Wonderful 1237 features seventeen unique minigames, all from each of the seventeen Republican presidential candidates you will be competing with.

(We had a brief break last week due to...important things to cover.) 

As explained in the Wonderful Wednesday article about those minigames, I'll be writing these strategy guides — one for each candidate, in a specific order. This one is about the guy who destroyed Marco Rubio, only to drop out of the race to serve as Donald Trump's henchman and lock-her-up chanter: Chris Christie. Unfortunately for Chris Christie, all of his servitude to Candidate Trump didn't help him in real life, and like real life, he is, on his own, a pretty weak candidate in The Wonderful 1237.

Candidate Stats

Base stats and growth:
Beauty: 0 + (1–2)
Cool: 0 + (0–3)
Cute: 1 + (0–3)
Smart: 0 + (0–2)
Tough: 0 + (0–5)

Average untouched stats after 14 rounds:
Beauty: 21
Cool: 21
Cute: 22
Smart: 14
Tough: 35

Average likelihood of surviving Iowa if untouched:
Less than average likelihood. (Chris Christie will have 10 delegates on average; need 11 to clear.)
The Wonderful 1237 Versus Chris Christie splash screen
“Versus CHR-R-R-R CHRIS CHRISTIE! ...Fight.”