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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

KoopaTV's Nintendo E3 2015 Conference Live Reactions

By VORTEXICA - We're down to two dudes!

Welcome to KoopaTV's live reactions to the Nintendo E3 2015 Digital Event, perhaps the most KoopaTV-appropriate event of the E3 week.

In a departure from standard live reaction procedure, Ludwig has taken to boycotting the Nintendo log over the Deluxe Digital Promotion debacle. As you might expect, without him everything went to pieces, with muggins here left to get this log sorted. And since I'm the one doing it for once, no, I'm not this "breezinabout"! I'm Vortex in the AIM log. Rawk as usual is himself, and joins me for commentary. You may also notice that the timestamps are on the opposite side of the names than usual... and are off by five hours. Look, just roll with it.

Let's dive right in, shall we?

4:53 PM Rawk
#IStandWithTricky

4:53 PM Rawk
#IStandWithDiddyKongRacingWiiU

4:54 PM Rawk
wait where do i watch this lol

4:54 PM Vortex
http://www.twitch.tv/nintendo

4:55 PM Rawk
k

4:56 PM Vortex
Is this Mario Galaxy music?

4:56 PM Vortex
That's what it sounds like.

4:56 PM Rawk
yeh

4:57 PM Vortex
Oh, and for those who don't like to read descriptions

4:57 PM Vortex
No Ludwig for this one

4:57 PM Vortex
See above as to why.

4:58 PM Vortex
Remains to be seen whether Kamek will appear like a bolt from the blue again.

4:58 PM Rawk
NOOOOOOOO

4:58 PM Rawk
SMB MUSIC

4:58 PM Rawk
WHY

4:58 PM Vortex
Do, do, do, dodododod

4:59 PM Rawk
Nintendo really needs to get their volume issues sorted out.

4:59 PM Rawk
My volume is now at half.

4:59 PM Vortex
It begins.

4:59 PM Rawk
Hasn't been that high for anybody else's stuff.

4:59 PM Vortex
AHH

4:59 PM Vortex
Sound spike!

5:00 PM Rawk
MUPPETES?

5:00 PM Vortex
Iwata MUPPET?

5:00 PM Vortex
...

5:00 PM Rawk
Muppet Iwata heading directly to the stage.

5:00 PM Vortex
Reggie... THE MUPPET

5:00 PM Vortex
DOING PUSHUPS

5:01 PM Rawk
This is terrifying.

5:01 PM Vortex
No, Muppet Miyamoto is terrifying

5:01 PM Rawk
dear god

Muppets Nintendo Digital Event Iwata Miyamoto Reggie
Horrifying.

5:01 PM Rawk
is this gonna be a game?

5:01 PM Vortex
Miyamoto

5:01 PM Rawk
Well, Robot Chicken Nintendo wasn't.

5:01 PM Vortex
Grew a fox snout

5:01 PM Vortex
IWATA

5:02 PM Vortex
HAS RABBIT EARS

5:02 PM Rawk
whoa

5:02 PM Rawk
OOOOOH

5:02 PM Vortex
Reggie turned into Falco!

5:02 PM Rawk
Because the original Star Fox cast

5:02 PM Rawk
looked like muppets

5:02 PM Vortex
It all makes sense now

Fox Falco Peppy Muppets Star Fox Zero Nintendo
...ta-daaah?

5:02 PM Rawk
WHERE IS KRYSTAL

5:03 PM Vortex
DO A BARRERR RORR

5:03 PM Rawk
Star Fox trailer.

5:03 PM Rawk
Fox in Arwing

5:03 PM Rawk
Fox looks like he's taking out a Command ship

5:03 PM Rawk
Fighting Star Wolf

5:03 PM Rawk
Arwing started walking.

5:04 PM Vortex
Arwing transformer? It turned into a robot chicken!

5:04 PM Vortex
"Let's take the offensive!"

5:04 PM Rawk
Not liking the...uh, lack of character focus here.

5:04 PM Vortex
"Star Fox Zero"

5:04 PM Rawk
Uuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhh.

5:04 PM Rawk
This really is going to be a reboot isn't it.

5:05 PM Vortex
Miyamoto talking about the game some more.

5:05 PM Rawk
IT'S CALLED STAR FOX *ZERO*

5:05 PM Rawk
UGH

5:05 PM Rawk
Pigma's deconfiguration retconned.

5:05 PM Rawk
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

5:05 PM Vortex
Oh right, he died in Assault.

5:05 PM Rawk
Well

5:06 PM Vortex
But we saw him right there.

5:06 PM Rawk
He just got deformed.

5:06 PM Rawk
By the Aparoids.

5:06 PM Rawk
He was back in Command.

5:06 PM Rawk
As a series of floating cubes.

5:06 PM Rawk
Fucked up by his Aparoid influence.

5:06 PM Rawk
But here he was...totally normal.

5:06 PM Vortex
Oh. Well, you're the expert.

5:07 PM Vortex
I doubt he pulled a Monty Python "I got better!"

5:07 PM Vortex
Cockpit view from the WiiU gamepad.

5:07 PM Rawk
Well, shooting in all directions without turning is cool I guess.

5:08 PM Vortex
Flips and u-turns are still a thing.

5:08 PM Vortex
Landmaster tanks can now fly, like properly. Apparently.

5:09 PM Vortex
"Not a part 4,5"

5:09 PM Vortex
"Not a remake either"

5:09 PM Rawk
................

5:09 PM Vortex
So a reboot?

5:09 PM Rawk
So what in the hell does this mean?!

5:09 PM Vortex
Reggie welcomes us.

5:09 PM Rawk
Welp.

5:09 PM Rawk
We're never seeing Krystal or Tricky again.

5:10 PM Rawk
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

5:10 PM Vortex
"That was more than just fun"

5:10 PM Vortex
More NX info in 2016.

5:10 PM Rawk
"That theme (of this Digital Event)...is transformation."

5:10 PM Rawk
Caitlyn Jenner?

5:10 PM Rawk
That NAACP woman?

5:11 PM Rawk
"We never let our franchises stand still."

5:11 PM Rawk
Pfffffffffffft.

5:11 PM Rawk
My ass.

5:11 PM Vortex
"Turning the essence of game creation over to YOU!"

5:12 PM Vortex
New amiibo on the way.

5:12 PM Rawk
This Direct is already ruined for me but might as well keep watching I guess.

5:12 PM Vortex
"Unexpected showing off from amiibo"

5:12 PM Rawk
Ruined in the first ten minutes.

5:12 PM Rawk
New record.

5:12 PM Vortex
They're talking about Skylanders now?

5:12 PM Rawk
HAH

5:13 PM Rawk
We're in the third parties already?!

5:13 PM Rawk
.....

5:13 PM Rawk
wait WHAT?!

5:13 PM Rawk
WHAAAAAAAAAAT

5:13 PM Vortex
Turn charged DK amiibo, with barrel blaster!

5:13 PM Rawk
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

5:13 PM Rawk
LOL

5:13 PM Rawk
SKYLANDERS IS DKU

5:13 PM Vortex
DK and freaking BOWSER amiibo confirmed for Skylanders

5:13 PM Vortex
Hahahahaha

5:14 PM Vortex
Twist the base for amiibo, or Skylanders functionality.

5:14 PM Rawk
oh my god am i gonna have to buy this

5:14 PM Rawk
IT'S FUCKING

5:14 PM Rawk
DONKEY & DIDDY KONG: NUTS & BOLTS

Donkey Kong barrel blaster Skylanders figure
hwhuihrygyuqw

5:14 PM Vortex
"Nintendo likes to protect its franchises, have total control"

5:15 PM Vortex
Went with Magma Bowser over Giga Bowser.

5:15 PM Vortex
I would've preferred Giga but cool I guess.

5:15 PM Rawk
"We didn't think we were gonna get away with all of this stuff."

5:15 PM Vortex
Muppets are back.

5:15 PM Rawk
"get away with"

5:15 PM Vortex
Mario Invincible theme starts playing

5:15 PM Vortex
lol @Rawk

5:15 PM Vortex
Zelda: TRIFORCE HEROES

5:16 PM Vortex
For 3DS

5:16 PM Rawk
Zelda TriForce Heroes.

5:16 PM Rawk
So...

5:16 PM Rawk
Four Swords with only three dudes?

5:16 PM Rawk
Well that's a transformation alright

5:16 PM Vortex
Yeah, where's purple?

5:16 PM Rawk
just in the opposite direction

5:17 PM Vortex
"Show each boss WHO'S BOSS"

5:17 PM Rawk
Well um.

5:17 PM Rawk
Don't have a lot to say about that really.

5:17 PM Vortex
Aonuma and Shikata talking more about the game.

5:18 PM Rawk
Well, guess we know why Diddy's copyright was renewed the other day.

5:18 PM Vortex
lol

5:18 PM Vortex
Visual influence and depth from A Link Between Worlds.

5:18 PM Vortex
"Totem mechanic"

5:18 PM Rawk
Totem mechanic.

5:18 PM Rawk
Sounds familiar.

5:18 PM Vortex
For stacking Links

5:18 PM Rawk
Oh yeah, Kirby's Return to Dreamland.

5:19 PM Rawk
Three dudes because four-dude totems would be too tall.

5:19 PM Vortex
I see now it's three Links, one for each of the Triforce pieces, Goddesses. Still miss Purple though...

5:19 PM Rawk
This is boring honestly.

5:20 PM Vortex
Could've sworn Blue Link was just wearing a dress.

5:20 PM Rawk
"It should appeal to fans of the series."

5:20 PM Rawk
Well I'd hope.

5:20 PM Vortex
Abilities change with your clothing.

5:20 PM Vortex
They're really pushing the whole fashion aspect.

5:20 PM Vortex
Another new game.

5:21 PM Vortex
Hyrule Warriors 3DS

5:21 PM Vortex
aLL dlc CHARACTERS INCLUDED.

5:21 PM Rawk
"a reimagining of the Wii U game"

5:21 PM Vortex
additional characters and stages from Wind Waker.

5:21 PM Vortex
"Hyrule Warriors Legends"

5:21 PM Vortex
Is the official name.

5:22 PM Rawk
This translator has been speaking in slow motion this entire time.

5:22 PM Rawk
I mean, we know why.

5:22 PM Rawk
But you'd think post-processing could speed this whole process up.

5:22 PM Rawk
Now for this Hyrule Warriors 3DS trailer we've all already seen.

5:22 PM Vortex
Now we get the trailer, not that I'd know how much of this is supposed to be new.

5:23 PM Rawk
Good time to get a snack if you need one.

5:23 PM Rawk
Or take a road trip.

5:23 PM Vortex
Moon's back, lol.

5:23 PM Vortex
Tetra finds Gold Ocarina in a chest.

5:23 PM Vortex
Back to the Muppet Show

5:24 PM Vortex
METROID PRIME: FEDERATION FORGE

5:24 PM Rawk
Metroid Prime: Federation Force

5:24 PM Rawk
HAH

5:24 PM Vortex
4-player co-op missions in the Metroid Prime Universe

5:24 PM Rawk
METROID PRIME: BLAST BALL

5:24 PM Vortex
Coming 2016

5:24 PM Vortex
lol

5:24 PM Rawk
Retro Studios' new game?

5:24 PM Rawk
Please be.

5:24 PM Vortex
Now to FE Fates

5:25 PM Rawk
Finally.

5:25 PM Rawk
No more IF

5:25 PM Vortex
...I'll let you cover this.

5:25 PM Rawk
lol

5:25 PM Rawk
Well.

5:25 PM Rawk
It's kind of too fast for me to say anything!

5:25 PM Rawk
I hear English voices.

5:25 PM Vortex
"2016" Guess we all already knew that.

5:25 PM Rawk
"Kill me if you want, but do it as yourself."

5:26 PM Vortex
Atlus

5:26 PM Rawk
SMT X FE

5:26 PM Rawk
OH HEY KOOPATV HAS AN ARTICLE ABOUT THIS

5:26 PM Vortex
And this is the point where Ludwig would plug it.

5:26 PM Rawk
lol, it looks less and less like both of its origin series with each new thing we see of it

5:27 PM Rawk
well we can't understand anything

5:27 PM Vortex
The article's Unbehooving Truth right?

5:27 PM Vortex
http://koopatv.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/an-unbehooving-truth.html

5:27 PM Rawk
LOL

5:27 PM Vortex
PLUGGED

5:28 PM Rawk
"FE" in the final title.

5:28 PM Rawk
BANANAS?

5:28 PM Rawk
A NEW DONKEY KONG?

5:28 PM Vortex
Iwata Muppet starting at bananas

5:28 PM Rawk
...nope.

5:28 PM Rawk
Just Xenoblade.

5:28 PM Vortex
Space battles.

5:28 PM Rawk
Fucking tease.

5:28 PM Vortex
lol, he knew what he was doing too.

5:29 PM Rawk
fighting robots

5:29 PM Vortex
Next, Animal Crossing.

5:29 PM Rawk
Swimming Isabelle in SMB water

5:30 PM Rawk
Is this actually a full retail game?

5:30 PM Rawk
Animal-Crossing Dress-Up?

5:30 PM Rawk
Someone said it was.

5:30 PM Vortex
#ACHappyHome?

5:30 PM Rawk
yes

5:30 PM Vortex
I'm so out of touch with this series.

5:31 PM Vortex
"Happy Home Designer"

5:31 PM Rawk
Comes out September.

5:31 PM Rawk
World Premiere.

5:31 PM Rawk
...

5:31 PM Vortex
#ACamiiboFestival

5:31 PM Rawk
ANIMAL CROSSING PARTY?

5:31 PM Vortex
KK Slider amiibo!

5:31 PM Vortex
Tom Nook amiibo!

5:32 PM Vortex
Mable(?) amiibo...

5:32 PM Rawk
This doesn't look like a very engaging board game.

5:32 PM Vortex
lol

5:32 PM Rawk
I guess maybe that's the point?

5:32 PM Vortex
It's super chill, yo.

5:33 PM Vortex
Yarn Mario characters/enemies.

5:33 PM Rawk
I spy Kamek.

5:33 PM Vortex
Damn I missed her name! One of the Wooly World developers.

5:33 PM Rawk
Guess that's why he's not here.

5:33 PM Vortex
lol

5:33 PM Rawk
Let's just call her Rosemary.

Emi Watanabe Nintendo Yoshi's Woolly World Yarn
So that's where Kamek is.

5:34 PM Vortex
Rosemary's packing a veritable Yarn Yoshi ARMY

5:34 PM Vortex
Yup, there's Kamek again.

5:34 PM Vortex
Ground Pound turns you into a mallet.

5:35 PM Rawk
I never thought yarn would play such a big role within one E3

5:35 PM Vortex
Wooly World has plenty of challenge if you're going for 100%

5:35 PM Vortex
Allegedly

5:36 PM Vortex
Yoshi as Mario (from the Mario amiibo) looks positively hideous.

5:37 PM Vortex
I'd like to see Bowser Yoshi though.

5:37 PM Rawk
Oh hey, SMB2 influence.

5:37 PM Rawk
Wait nvm.

5:37 PM Rawk
I forgot Yoshi's Island had keys.

5:37 PM Vortex
More dancing Muppets.

5:37 PM Rawk
Level 5.

5:37 PM Rawk
Oh god.

5:37 PM Rawk
It's Ghostamon.

5:37 PM Rawk
Or #YokaiWatch

5:38 PM Vortex
"Use the Yo-kai lense to find Yo-kai!"

5:38 PM Rawk
The thing that took over Pokemon in Japan.

5:38 PM Vortex
"Battle evil Yo-kai"

5:38 PM Vortex
Oh

5:38 PM Vortex
Yo-kai has the same usage as "Pokemon".

5:38 PM Rawk
Maybe this'll encourage GameFreak to get off their asses.

5:38 PM Rawk
WHAT

5:38 PM Vortex
Paper Mario?!

5:39 PM Vortex
Paper Bowser assault normal Bowser!

5:39 PM Rawk
what the fuck

5:39 PM Vortex
The paper characters...

5:39 PM Vortex
And the normal characters...

5:39 PM Vortex
In one game...

5:39 PM Vortex
"Tear up your foes!"

5:40 PM Rawk
what the fuck am i watching

Mario & Luigi Paper Jam Bowser Kamek
...aaaaand Kamek again. Inside this lucid dream.

5:40 PM Vortex
Mario mech vs Goomba mech

5:40 PM Rawk
Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam

5:40 PM Vortex
Coming 2016

5:40 PM Vortex
Now some Mario Tennis.

5:40 PM Rawk
jesus christ i don't even time to comment because now there's a Wii U Mario Tennis on screen

5:40 PM Vortex
I now, that was kinda shock and awe.

5:41 PM Vortex
I missed the name!

5:41 PM Rawk
Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash

5:41 PM Rawk
That looked boring as fuck.

5:41 PM Rawk
Well Jesus Christ.

5:41 PM Rawk
Here's hoping Paper Jam has a uh, story.

5:41 PM Vortex
Now Miyamoto and... someone else discussing Mario Maker.

5:41 PM Vortex
And ditto that.

5:42 PM Rawk
It looked Sticker Starrish, but Paper Bowser at least uttered one word.

5:42 PM Vortex
Talking about how they created SMB, drawing everything by hand.

5:42 PM Vortex
And how far things have come since then with Mario Maker.

5:43 PM Vortex
Combine elements from different Mario games.

5:43 PM Rawk
The translator sounds exasperated.

5:43 PM Rawk
Mario can turn into Wii Fit Trainer.

5:44 PM Vortex
8-bit Mario has a large amiibo.

5:44 PM Rawk
This translator sounds like he's trying to be sensual.

5:44 PM Vortex
*Snort*

5:45 PM Rawk
okay guys we already spent an hour on Mario Maker the other day

5:46 PM Vortex
"Mario Maker: It's game design training software!"

5:46 PM Vortex
Reggie's back.

5:46 PM Rawk
LOL

5:46 PM Rawk
LOL

5:46 PM Rawk
COMES OUT SEPTEMBER 11th

5:46 PM Vortex
And it's not his Muppet.

5:46 PM Rawk
AHHAHAHAHAHAHA

5:46 PM Rawk
"Let's roll." - Shigeru Miyamoto

5:47 PM Vortex
100+ Best Buy's to have on-hand Mario Maker.

5:47 PM Vortex
On, uhh, Friday and Saturday?

5:47 PM Vortex
Sometime...

5:47 PM Rawk
"From the music, to the costumes, to the characters"

5:47 PM Rawk
In contrast to Microsoft,

5:47 PM Vortex
"Mario isn't just Nintendo's mascot, there's a piece of him inside all of us!"

5:48 PM Rawk
characters for Nintendo are dead-last.

5:48 PM Rawk
what the fuck is this

5:48 PM Vortex
Eww, amateur musician montages.

5:48 PM Vortex
I hate these.

Super Mario Bros. 30th Anniversary musician xylophone
France continues to take over E3. And my YouTube videos.

5:50 PM Rawk
Ends with Koji Kondo on that piano.

5:50 PM Rawk
well

5:50 PM Vortex
www.LetsSuperMario.com

5:50 PM Vortex
Now you can embarrass yourself in the name of Mario!

5:50 PM Vortex
Oh, but it's all for a good cause apaprently.

5:51 PM Vortex
Now another Mario Maker trailer.

5:51 PM Vortex
Miyamoto's back with his new translator.

5:51 PM Rawk
I thought I was kidding when I said Mario Maker would take up half the show.

5:52 PM Vortex
All these games; this year or early 2016

5:52 PM Vortex
"There's more coming"

5:52 PM Ludwig Von Koopa
...

5:52 PM Ludwig Von Koopa
is it safe yet




Be sure to stick around for our live reactions to Square Enix's conference, where Ludwig will be rejoining us for business-as-usual commentary. ...In fact by the time you read this, we'll likely be in the process of live-reacting, or already finished with it, in which case the live reaction log should be available right now!


Square Enix's conference reactions available here.
Sony's conference the night before is available here.
Do you really want Ludwig's reactions? Well, check them out here.
KoopaTV's reactions from 2014 for Nintendo are here.
Caitlyn Jenner's transformation gets a joke here.

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