Search KoopaTV!

Translate

E-mail Subscription

Monday, June 9, 2014

KoopaTV's Ubisoft E3 2014 LIVE REACTIONS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Aisha is here!

We've been waiting for Aisha Tyler for a year now. She always makes Ubisoft's conferences fun to watch. I'm Nintendork 13 13, and Rawk is himself. The Taliban shot our other staff members. Yikes.

"OBJECTION!"

Nintendork 13 13 5:54 pm
    Would you have sex with Aisha?

 RawkHawk2010 5:54 pm
    yes

 Nintendork 13 13 5:54 pm
    (This is totally not in the log)
    UBISOFT HAS STARTED EARLY
    WHAT
    THAT'S A FIRST
    IT'S A RABBID

 RawkHawk2010 5:55 pm
    I feel like hair is the biggest contributor to feminimity.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:55 pm
    WE'RE LIVE
    DAMMIT RAWK WE GOT A RABBID IN A PIZZA BOX
    AIN'T NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT THAT

 RawkHawk2010 5:55 pm
    oh fuck

 Nintendork 13 13 5:55 pm
    THE RABBID
    IS PEEING IN A PLANT

 RawkHawk2010 5:56 pm
    Rabbids are hideous characters.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:56 pm
    Brace yourself for the next next gen!
    Goat simulator
    Turn on your devices!

 RawkHawk2010 5:56 pm
    Even computers?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:56 pm
    yes
    "Enjoy the show"
    Cool music.
    I don't have anymore grape soda help

 RawkHawk2010 5:57 pm
    watch doegs

 RawkHawk2010 5:58 pm
    That Gamespot logo looks like a Nazi brand.

 Nintendork 13 13 5:58 pm
    The GameSpot logo looks photoshopped onto his shirt.

 RawkHawk2010 5:59 pm
    so this "began" early

 Nintendork 13 13 5:59 pm
    Yeah.
    They forced early log.

 RawkHawk2010 5:59 pm
    but will really begin late?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:59 pm
    .............
    Yes?

 RawkHawk2010 5:59 pm
    ...
    Wait.
    What if that was the entire conference?

 Nintendork 13 13 5:59 pm
    ...
    lol
    gone live

 RawkHawk2010 6:00 pm
    girl wood

 Nintendork 13 13 6:00 pm
    black screen
    black bitch
    black friday

 RawkHawk2010 6:00 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 6:00 pm
    But that was last year.
    This year
    UBISOFT PRESENTS
    ...BUFFERING
    *refresh*

 RawkHawk2010 6:01 pm
    is this beyond good and evil 2

 Nintendork 13 13 6:01 pm
    I dunno I'm refreshing
    it's an ad
    for battlefield
    why did I turn off adblock for Gamespot
    ...TURN OFF ADBLOCK ON KOOPATV PLEASE
    Okay on stream
    Some Taliban guy
    And a monkey.
    (The monkey must be Kamek)
    "oh fuck"

 RawkHawk2010 6:02 pm
    monkey got shot

 Nintendork 13 13 6:02 pm
    Alternatively, the monkey is like the CoD dog.
    Oh it's dead? fuck
    Guess that's why Kamek isn't here.

 RawkHawk2010 6:03 pm
    anderson cooper

 Nintendork 13 13 6:03 pm
    ...lol
    Anderson Cooper very particular.
    Stop
    shoot
    They sound the same if you're french.
    Anderson Cooper stabs.
    help you're being hugged in first person

 Nintendork 13 13 6:04 pm
    What's a +1?
    Selfie
    (See last log with EA)
    Far Cry 4!

 RawkHawk2010 6:05 pm
    Well that didn't look terrible.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
    Dan Hay.
    He doesn't talk like a french dude.

 RawkHawk2010 6:06 pm
    A far cry from anything great but hey.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 6:06 pm
    "You're fucked."

 Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
    He's leaving.
    And on comes

 RawkHawk2010 6:06 pm
    aisha

 Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
    ON COMES
    YEEEEEEES
    AISHA
    AISHA
    "Holy shit!"

 Nintendork 13 13 6:07 pm
    Print-screened her.

 RawkHawk2010 6:07 pm
    terrifying

 Nintendork 13 13 6:07 pm
    "This show is going to be amazing."
    "It's 420 in this bitch."

 RawkHawk2010 6:08 pm
    "hella fucking smokey"

 Nintendork 13 13 6:08 pm
    why did the camera go to an audience member
    "compellative"

 RawkHawk2010 6:08 pm
    These Ubisoft conferences keep getting progressively edgier.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:08 pm
    WATCH_DOGS applause
    Not asked to be in this next game.
    Dancing not one of her skills.
    Just Dance 2015
    Pac-man shirt

 Nintendork 13 13 6:09 pm
    ...or just a happy face on a yellow shirt

 RawkHawk2010 6:09 pm
    that fox

 Nintendork 13 13 6:09 pm
    Is this going to be the only Wii U tritle?
    Like last year?
    Chad Joseph

 RawkHawk2010 6:09 pm
    must mean What Does The Fox Say
    Why is everyone in this a mulatto?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:10 pm
    Rabbid sighting
    dat house party
    Wii U logo on there.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:11 pm
    Masculine girl like Aisha.
    She's not staying on the stage to tower over everyone.

 RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
    holy moly

 Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
    Smartphone

 RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
    the forehead on this lad

 Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
    Herr Forehead

 RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
    IT'S HUGE

 Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
    dat Apollo Justice with normal hair

 RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
    where is ryu?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
    His Internet probably died.
    Our French correspondents both had unfortunate incidents to them.
    Wot happened to French KoopaTV?
    wtf
    dudes behind him

 Nintendork 13 13 6:14 pm
    Guy there looks like Marlon Rimes

 RawkHawk2010 6:14 pm
    is this Lady Gaga?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:14 pm
    ...I dunno.
    buffer
    ended song

 RawkHawk2010 6:15 pm
    Elberta?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:15 pm
    Oh Aisha is back

 RawkHawk2010 6:15 pm
    The fuck kind of name is "Elberta"?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:15 pm
    Thought it was a gay/French guy announcing that.

 RawkHawk2010 6:15 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 6:15 pm
    This stream is dying
    Now there are dudes with guns in the background

 Nintendork 13 13 6:16 pm
    gonna go to Twitch
    AHH

 RawkHawk2010 6:16 pm
    petter mannerfelt

 Nintendork 13 13 6:16 pm
    THE DIVISION
    CRAPPING MYSELF WITH JOY
    YES
    Aye-eesha

 RawkHawk2010 6:16 pm
    link me to twirtch

 Nintendork 13 13 6:17 pm
    http://www.twitch.tv/twitch
    Ubisoft presents
    A massive entertainment production

 RawkHawk2010 6:17 pm
    more post-apocalyptica

 Nintendork 13 13 6:18 pm
    shh

 Nintendork 13 13 6:18 pm
    It's The Division therefore it's great.
    weird bedsheets though

 RawkHawk2010 6:18 pm
    is this the "terrifying" Aisha referred to?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:18 pm
    yes
    I'm terrified.
    "I'm sorry Saraaaah"
    car
    No one watched... no one saw...

 Nintendork 13 13 6:20 pm
    Invisible tragedy.
    Lefthand hold
    Pick it up
    gunman vs. Taliban
    Taliban surrounded and runs.

 RawkHawk2010 6:21 pm
    Wasn't there someone in Metroid Other M called "The Divider"
    ?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:21 pm
    The Deleter.

 RawkHawk2010 6:21 pm
    oh
    lol
    Tom Clancy's THE DELETION

 Nintendork 13 13 6:21 pm
    If they were The Divider I wouldn't talk shit about Other M.
    THE DIVISION
    coming 2015

 RawkHawk2010 6:21 pm
    WAIT
    WHAAAAAAAAAAAT

 Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
    wot's happening now

 RawkHawk2010 6:22 pm
    I thought this was canceled!

 Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
    THE CREW

 Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
    ...Well it's obviously NOT canceled.
    The entirety of the US.

 RawkHawk2010 6:22 pm
    unless it got uncanceled for E3

 Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
    No loading.
    True expansive mayhem.
    Take a look at The Crew.
    Miami to Los Angeles.
    "The following video consists entirely of gameplay footage"

 RawkHawk2010 6:23 pm
    why not just take a roadtrip in your own car

 Nintendork 13 13 6:23 pm
    Gas money is more expensive than buying the game.

 RawkHawk2010 6:23 pm
    + Xbox Live subscription

 Nintendork 13 13 6:23 pm
    Also this driver goes over the yellow line several times.

 RawkHawk2010 6:23 pm
    show faula

 Nintendork 13 13 6:24 pm
    So they'd get arrested in real life.

 RawkHawk2010 6:24 pm
    Have him try to go through the Historic District

 Nintendork 13 13 6:24 pm
    lol
    Fergie
    Return of Fergus from E3 2013?

 RawkHawk2010 6:24 pm
    julian gary?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:25 pm
    "I'm a hugger"
    Bear Hugger Aisha

 RawkHawk2010 6:25 pm
    geirghty
    Guy has good fashion.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:25 pm
    Gerighty
    Cargo shorts
    funny sneakers
    Leather jacket.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:26 pm
    Route Nine-Nine-Nine
    (...909)

 RawkHawk2010 6:27 pm
    where's prof

 Nintendork 13 13 6:27 pm
    I dunno.
    Closed beeta
    thecrewgame.com/beta
    "You say beeta in the most adorable way." - Aisha

 RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
    I thought he said Vita.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:28 pm
    November 11 2014
    lol
    "You can't drive into the past."

 RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
    assassin's creed

 Nintendork 13 13 6:28 pm
    AC segue?
    yup

 RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
    uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmm
    we just saw this

 Nintendork 13 13 6:28 pm
    "Good afternoo'."
    Alex Amancio

 RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
    "poverty and hungary"

 Nintendork 13 13 6:29 pm
    1789
    George Washington
    ...(Probably not)
    Bird-hunting.

 RawkHawk2010 6:30 pm
    dammit devs
    quit showing worse trailers of stuff we saw at MS's!

 Nintendork 13 13 6:30 pm
    Shh let him promote Trayvon's hoodies.

 RawkHawk2010 6:31 pm
    I still want a Civil War Assassin's Creed.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:32 pm
    Are they gonna put that guy's head on a pike too?
    October 28 2014
    "Are you ready to rule the world? .........Thank you."

 Nintendork 13 13 6:33 pm
    1793 Reign of Terror
    Kill Captain Xavier

 RawkHawk2010 6:34 pm
    brb

 Nintendork 13 13 6:34 pm
    ...
    He doesn't catch the thief.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:36 pm
    Sword-fight.
    Silently going up stairs sneaking on dudes.

 RawkHawk2010 6:37 pm
    Yo.
    I've decided I'll watch the Invitational.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:37 pm
    ...You were going to anyway. <_<

 RawkHawk2010 6:37 pm
    I was?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
    yes

 RawkHawk2010 6:38 pm
    ...yeah I guess I was.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
    That's what you said.
    >_>;

 Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
    Now assassin has to locate Captain Xavier

 RawkHawk2010 6:38 pm
    I thought I was gonna boycott the Smash juggalos.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
    No, that's stupid.
    Robespierre reference.

 RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
    who
    was that the geologist

 Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
    ...The geologist?

 RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
    robespierre

 Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
    I'll tell you who he is after the stream.

 RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
    This reminds me of that scene in Radiant Dawn.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
    With Lucia?

 RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
    Yeah.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
    Yeah.
    Great cutscene.

 RawkHawk2010 6:40 pm
    ...except he didn't save her.
    >.>

 Nintendork 13 13 6:40 pm
    Assassin is like Shinon in the tree.
    wot
    She lived. <_<

 RawkHawk2010 6:40 pm
    Didn't her head just get cut off?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:40 pm
    ...In Assassin's Creed?

 RawkHawk2010 6:40 pm
    Yes.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:40 pm
    oh
    ...
    I dunno.
    I didn't see.
    Wot did he kill the dude for then?
    Aisha says it was awesome.

 RawkHawk2010 6:41 pm
    mario kart lightning

 Nintendork 13 13 6:41 pm
    Fitness for gamers

 RawkHawk2010 6:41 pm
    is this a mormon

 Nintendork 13 13 6:41 pm
    Shape Up.
    You're slightly ahead.
    Hug.

 RawkHawk2010 6:42 pm
    I'm getting a mormony vibe.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:42 pm
    "incredibly muscular"
    "Fitness is boring."

 Nintendork 13 13 6:42 pm
    Charles Huteau
    Partnership with Microsoft.
    Xbox One exclusive.
    Dat Aisha smile.
    Punch asteroids.
    Aisha looks like she wants to laugh out loud.
    PIANO STEP!
    "That's me next to me."
    I have no idea what he's saying.
    Too much accent.
    Need Kamek or MS90 here.
    Ubisoft uses Eye of the Tiger again.
    'cause Rayman Legends wasn't enough.

 RawkHawk2010 6:44 pm
    is that why Rayman Legends got away with that shit?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:44 pm
    Because they licensed it?

 RawkHawk2010 6:44 pm
    Because Ubisoft already licenses all this music anyway?

 Nintendork 13 13 6:44 pm
    Yes.
    His previous self got killed by a safe.
    US vs. The France

 RawkHawk2010 6:46 pm
    Ubisoft should work with Nintendo to make a Glass Joe game.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:46 pm
    lol
    Making fun of American tourists
    and playing football with his feet

 Nintendork 13 13 6:46 pm
    American guy wearing red shirt
    blue jeans
    And sneakers with white shoelaces.
    and buffering
    Joe's Donuts
    USA wins!

 RawkHawk2010 6:48 pm
    this conference is giving me a french enema

 Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
    I think it's hysterical.

 RawkHawk2010 6:48 pm
    I don't.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
    "I don't know why that was so funny to watch." - Aisha

 RawkHawk2010 6:48 pm
    I have emotional scarring caused by French people you know!

 Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
    Valianrt Hearts: The Great War.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
    UbiArt framework!
    4 dudes + canine companion.
    (assymetric gameplay?)

 RawkHawk2010 6:50 pm
    Art style reminds me of Scribblenauts.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:50 pm
    I like it.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:51 pm
    Poor doggie.

 RawkHawk2010 6:51 pm
    meh
    looked like some point and click shit.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
    It's Ubisoft CEO!

 RawkHawk2010 6:52 pm
    eve gitmo

 Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 6:52 pm
    gimo*

 Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
    gitmo

 RawkHawk2010 6:52 pm
    didn't even intend that lol

 Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
    lol
    "You looked just a leeetle beet shorter."
    Yves Guillemot

 RawkHawk2010 6:53 pm
    There hasn't been a mention of girl wood.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:53 pm
    I thought girl wood was her "my body is ready".
    One more game.

 RawkHawk2010 6:53 pm
    beyond good and evil 2

 Nintendork 13 13 6:53 pm
    (WATCH_DOGS dlc)
    pre-alpha
    Team Raven vs. Team Rogue
    Reinforce the kids' room.
    (This is plaers chatting by the way)
    ......

 Nintendork 13 13 6:55 pm
    ...
    buffer why
    1 2 3

 RawkHawk2010 6:55 pm
    showing concern for his teammates
    That's So very Raven of him.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:55 pm
    Your team has the hostage
    ...
    lol
    The show's name is "That's so Raven"
    No very.

 RawkHawk2010 6:56 pm
    that's why the very isn't capitalized =-O

 Nintendork 13 13 6:56 pm
    Enemy is camping outside.
    "shit"
    (Enemies always camp in these games!)
    "RAH, HE'S IN THE BATHROOM"
    "Shit, I MISSED."
    (dat girl gamer)
    "sorry for losing the hostage"
    "nah man don't worry about it"

 Nintendork 13 13 6:57 pm
    Ubisoft promoting cordial behaviour.
    (Unlike some other companies)

 RawkHawk2010 6:57 pm
    this is boring

 Nintendork 13 13 6:58 pm
    Wii U Gamepad out
    Drone

 RawkHawk2010 6:58 pm
    That looked like Ann Coulter.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:58 pm
    ....

 RawkHawk2010 6:58 pm
    The hostage.

 Nintendork 13 13 6:58 pm
    Ann Coulter wouldn't let herself be taken hostage in a Boston suburb.
    hostage dropped
    Ann Coulter rescued.
    "I'm dead, I'M DEAD"

 RawkHawk2010 6:59 pm
    XD

 RawkHawk2010 6:59 pm
    I thought the protagonist shot her.
    That's what it looked like.
    good god

 Nintendork 13 13 6:59 pm
    Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege
    ...

 RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
    That video was nothing but her screaming.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
    wot about Tom Clancy's The Division?!

 RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
    ...

 Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
    ...

 RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
    this made Aisha cry?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
    "It's been six years before we got a Rainbow Six title"
    "GAAAH"

 RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
    Or was she laughing because it was so stupid?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
    no girl wood

 Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
    "THIS. IS. UBISOFT. YOU KNOW THE DEAL."

 RawkHawk2010 7:01 pm
    Terrible conference.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
    "COME TO THE GAME FLOOR AND SEE THAT SHIT."
    ...well better than EA's

 RawkHawk2010 7:01 pm
    Microsoft is still winning, how about that.
    True.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
    ...I thought Ubisoft would beat Microsoft.
    But... it didn't happen.
    Huh.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
    Twitch guy is making fun of Aisha.
    So...
    ...Thoughts?
    ...I liked the dog. <_<

 Nintendork 13 13 7:03 pm
    And Anderson Cooper.

 RawkHawk2010 7:04 pm
    Yeah that bit was aight.
    Can't even remember anything else.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:04 pm
    ...Yeah I don't remember.

 RawkHawk2010 7:04 pm
    So far I give Microsoft a +C.
    Ubisoft a -D.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:04 pm
    ...The letter comes first.
    EA F?

 RawkHawk2010 7:04 pm
    yeha

 Nintendork 13 13 7:05 pm
    Microsoft B-

 RawkHawk2010 7:05 pm
    When's Sony?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:05 pm
    Ubisoft C-
    EA F
    Sony in 2 hours.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:06 pm
    ...Yeah.
    See you then, reader-land!

RIP, Call of Duty: Ghosts dogs.


We'll cover the next conference soon. Hopefully we get our staff back by then. Stay tuned!


If you want to watch the conference before this one, click here!
To see the one after this, click here.
For Ubisoft's conference from last year, click here.
What about Ubisoft's conference from NEXT year?

No comments :

Post a Comment

We embrace your comments. No CAPTCHA or identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot.