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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Axe-Arm Largo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Technology or hideous character design? You decide!

With Ike in Super Smash Bros. 4, I'm pretty happy. Even happier is that he's in his form from Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn and not the ghastly sight of him from Fire Emblem: Awakening.

But the entity we call Sword-Arm Ike is actually a technological marvel, isn't he? We shouldn't insult dudes with prosthetic weaponry. Ike is a war hero, and thousands of war heroes come home from the battlefield needing amputations. Or maybe they got amputated while in battle. So it's a miracle that Ike can still be a warrior despite his grievous injuries.

Unfortunately, not everyone has access to the top-quality healthcare that General Ike got. Largo, a bartender peasant from Crimea in Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, was a reckless axe-using Berserker unit. In between that game and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn (a span of three years), he had lost his arm in an accident.

No arm? Big problem. For now.

As such, he was the only unit from Path of Radiance to not be usable in Radiant Dawn. We at KoopaTV think everyone should have access to quality healthcare, and so we worked with expert Tellius surgeons to bring Ike's Sword-Arm treatment to Largo, and grant him a prosthetic axe.

Largo from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance with an axe arm.
Presenting: Axe-Arm Largo!

We're proud to have given Largo a new chance in life. Even though Intelligent Systems did not announce a new Fire Emblem game at E3 2014 (electing instead for announcing a new IP, Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.), if one ever revisiting Tellius happens, Largo can be there!

By the way, as for KoopaTV's desire for everyone to have access to quality healthcare, that is why we oppose ObamaCare. Under an ObamaCare plan, Largo would be forced to pay for things he does not need, like maternity coverage. In rural Crimea, Largo's network of doctors and hospitals would decrease drastically under ObamaCare, as it disproportionally hurts rural folk.

Largo is also a veteran. However, under the Obama administration, veterans have been receiving horrible healthcare. They've been left to die waiting in Veterans Health Administration clinics and hospitals.

Do you really trust those in charge to help us out? Competently?

Elincia Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn bad queen.
At least Crimea's ruler is self-aware of her ineptitude. What about America's?

We gotta rely on one another. Unfortunately, KoopaTV is not a charity and we can't be giving axe-arms to everyone. That's why you should donate to KoopaTV! (We don't have a donation button or any way to receive your money, so get creative about that.)

Ludwig is not a qualified surgeon, and no one else on KoopaTV is. Regardless, you can Follow him on Miiverse at PrinceOfKoopas, and that's also his deviantART account, where he also posted Axe-Arm Largo.

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