September 30, 2018 Nintendo Quarterly Financial Update

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Halfway through the fiscal year ending March 2019! (Plus, Kirby Star Allies version 4.0.0!)

To be clear: The data in the financial disclosure is current up to September 30, 2018... but it was released to the public on the last day of October 2018. These things take time to process! (And this article is being published a month later. Hm, we really need to review this KoopaTV new schedule thing.)

Nintendo has revealed their six months financial results for the fiscal year ending March 2019. Here is their financial results presentation.

Take a look at the newly updated sales chart, which has an omission on Nintendo's part that I'm particularly proud of:

Witch Princess and the Potion

By WITCH PRINCESS - I had work to do, so you're welcome!

Well, today marks my first day of publishing short stories each week on Friday. As I said before, I should have enough time in between to come up with new ideas, because I'm that creative.

Without further ado, I present to you Witch Princess and the Potion, which stars only me. Don't worry, fellow staffers! Next week will be your time to shine! I mean, is Ludwig's story from Rio de Janeiro the only one on here so far?

...Enough of the questions! Let's begin!

All Finals Division Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The rest of the tournament. In one article.

Starting on the night of Monday the 26th of November, the GameFAQs Character Battle X contest — a massive Internet popularity contest for the best character in videogames — will be entering its second and final phase: The Finals Division.

(Vote here when it starts, as well as all the days after!)

(Catch up on all prior and current coverage of the Character Battle X on KoopaTV with our index, including the original 128-character bracket!) 

Quite frankly, the schedule from here on out is a bit of a confusing jumbled mess. The main bracket had 128 characters, and in the Divisional Finals, it went from 16 to 8. Those 8 winners of the main bracket are now facing 8 historically very strong characters (Character Battle X means there have been 9 previous character battles, so we know who is very popular already) — Link, Mega Man, Cloud Strife, Crono, Solid Snake, Sonic the Hedgehog, Samus Aran, and that awful plumber Mario.

Because there is now a Loser Bracket (double-elimination), the bracket will be a lot longer than what it would otherwise be. Some days will have two matches. Some days will have one. Because it would be a nuisance to have my weekly Thursday article keep covering this contest (I have other things I want to write about before the year ends, you know), I'm just going to put everything into this article. You can give me THANKS for that.

Therefore, anticipate this article to be continually updated between now and December 14. I've already created headings for the different sections of the Final Division that matches the GameFAQs schedule. (All matches start one calendar day before what GameFAQs says, unless you don't live in the Western hemisphere.)

KoopaTV Presents: Witch Princess's Short Stories!

By WITCH PRINCESS - Surprised? Stories brought to you by me!

How in the world am I supposed to adjust to this new schedule? I guess it's for the best. It is I, The Witch Princess! I've decided to give you all more content! One article is unacceptable.

I must say that Vortexica's KoopaTV Adventures was very weird, but charming. I thought I'd show off my writing talents by creating a sort of...successor to that. Believe me, we miss him and his work. We wish he'd come back. However, if he suddenly does, I guess we'll have to figure something out with both of our series.

...Anyway, I was planning on posting a story today, but I hate rushed content with no quality. Sorry, that's just not me. Since these are short stories, a week is all I need to work on them. (Gotta balance my time—I have a job casting spells!)

All of the staff will be in the stories, of course! Enjoy!

You'd better read my stories!~♪

Look forward to the short stories starting next Friday! Oh yeah, maybe Witch made this article too anticlimactic...sorry!


Here's the first short story... Witch Princess and the Potion. Look in the related article section (where you're looking now) of that article to find the second one when it's out!

The Best Chip Dip From A Guy With Teeth Not Made For Crunching Chips: Splatoon 2 Splatfest

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's obviously salsa.

Apparently, we need more than one Splatfest about condiments. You may remember the first official Splatoon 2 Splatfest was about Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup. I sided with Ketchup. Ketchup lost.

This time, the Splatfest for this weekend (November 17; I highly recommend participating in it instead of playing, or buying, a Pokémon: Let's Go game) is about Salsa vs. Guacamole, in a battle about which chip dip is superior.

“What's your favorite chip dip? Salsa or guacamole?”

 
Strangely, Pearl is siding with Salsa and Marina is siding with Guacamole. Yet in Mayonnaise vs. Ketchup, Pearl sided with Mayonnaise and Marina sided with Ketchup.

Reminder that Salsa is made from tomatoes. Guacamole is made from avocados. Mayonnaise is made from eggs. And ketchup is also made from tomatoes.

You'd think you'd keep siding with tomatoes for the consistency, but I suppose in terms of consistency, ketchup and salsa are quite... different. Unlike Pearl and Marina, however, I'm sticking with tomato-based condiments and I'm on Team Salsa. Quite frankly, I don't even remember what guacamole tastes like. But I know salsa very well. Because it's the only way I can effectively get something from chips. Observe:

Kamek is Saving the People of New York in Spider-Man PS4!

By KAMEK - We're Live!

As promised. Tonight Kamek is proud to present to you a small adventure into Spider-Man (for PS4).

I've been making personal progress with the game when it comes to story mode. I'll be doing my best to avoid plot and stick to what the game has to offer in terms of the city.

Watch the video on demand here:

Watch Kamek Saves New York from kamekkoopatv on www.twitch.tv


(RIP Stan Lee. And Spider-Man. Multiple times.)




Kamek displaying a rare side of him we don't see often:



Kamek once wrote an article about why Amtrak shouldn't exist and why trains are bad. Well, here's his point being proven:



Kamek will do his best to continue to produce gaming content while compositional pieces such as articles are being worked on!

Round 3 & 4 Picks: GameFAQs Character Battle X

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Once this is done, there will be the Finals Division.

As of publishing, Round 2, Division 7 is still happening in the GameFAQs Character Battle X, which is the GameFAQs semi-frequent popularity contest about who the best videogame character is. (And if you want to know all about Round 2, click here.)

Vote here: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/

The main bracket began with 128 characters, but by the time Round 3 starts, it'll be down to 32 characters. Then for Round 4, it'll be 16 characters — Round 4 is alternatively known as the Divisional Finals.

After that, it's the final stretch of the contest: The Finals Division, where eight of the historically strongest characters battle the eight divisional winners. But that'll be covered in a later article.

Due to the scheduling of the contest (Round 3 has four battles in one day, and Round 4 has two battles per day), I'm grouping Round 3 and Round 4 in one article. That means you should check back to this article once the Divisional Finals happen to read my opinions about who should advance, and who I'm voting for. That's free DLC!

Welcome Piranha Plant and Koopa Paratroopa to the Spotlight!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're both looking fantastic in your respective roles.

I wish to continue the themes that I started mere weeks ago about Non-Playable Characters (NPCs). I think that the NPC meme is no longer something that is dominating any narrative or conversation, so KoopaTV's article going after this NPC bashing must have been rhetorically effective. Furthermore, it was proven correct a week ago in two different ways, which I'll write about in this article.

Piranha Plant was announced to be an additional playable character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and Koopa Paratroopa (henceforth mostly referred to as Paratroopa) became a playable character in Mario Tennis Aces. Here are my generous, love-filled thoughts on both of them:

With Nintendo Deciding Smash Ultimate DLC Characters, Will Fortnite Get In?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Reminder of Nintendo's priorities.

Apparently in the past, character selection in the Super Smash Bros. franchise was just up to the series director, Masahiro Sakurai.

I'll get to my thoughts on a certain new character that appeared in the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct at the beginning of the month in a later article (I'm thinking tomorrow), but right now I want to address the five unannounced DLC characters that the Fighters Pass will comprise of:

Only those who are confident in its value should purchase the Fighters Pass.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate’s DLC line-up is now complete. This time the selection was made entirely by Nintendo. I decide if we can create a fighter based on their selection, then come up with the plan.

— 桜井 政博 (@Sora_Sakurai) November 6, 2018

If Nintendo is calling all the shots for the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate DLC, what do you think Nintendo's decision criteria is? And by Nintendo, think the executive-level team. Well, Nintendo just put out a commercial two weeks ago that should illuminate their thinking:

Vote Republican For Mid-Terms 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - (Pokémon) Let's Go to the polls.

The last time I wrote a KoopaTV article about asking people to vote in the mid-term elections (back in 2014, the last time mid-term elections existed), there were very good results. The Senate flipped from Democrat to Republican control. Republicans won more seats in the House of Representatives. Republicans even did better in gubernatorial elections.

I don't consider myself to be a partisan hack, but I am an ideological one. Still, in yesterday's article, I was prepared to endorse an Independent over a Republican in a particular Senate race, but I couldn't. The Independent didn't respond to this media outlet's inquiry attempt, and they don't seem to be running an actual campaign. Yeah, like I'm going to endorse that. The Republican (and the Democrat) didn't respond either, but no one really expects them to since they don't need media exposure like the Independent does. Meanwhile, KoopaTV's endorsement could've doubled that particular Independent's total vote count!

Well, the Democrat's campaign actually said they would respond, and then lied and never did.

Let's be specific: don't vote for Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts.

Anyway, at least in federal-facing races, Democrats exist to raise your taxes and obstruct President Donald John Trump. Not to actually get anything done. In state-facing races, the Democrat candidate most likely wants to raise taxes, promote illegal immigration, and have their state Attorney General sue President Donald John Trump's administration over everything and anything. They're all coordinating.

Quite frankly, there is a small list of things that President Donald John Trump's administration should be sued over, so I'm not advocating for one-party rule over every state house in the United States (not that a KoopaTV article can get, say, a Republican to win the Senate election in California — you literally can't vote for a Republican). But every Democrat (except Joe Manchin sometimes?) who is acting like they're actually going to work to accomplish an outcome beneficial for you is campaigning in bad faith.

I've been talking a lot about voting lately. Voting in Splatfests. Voting in the GameFAQs Character Battle X. The mid-terms are more important than those (unless you don't live in the United States or live in Inkopolis, then yes, voting on a race war is pretty important).

Go vote! 


Ludwig didn't actually write anything in this article about what makes the Republicans good and worthy of your vote. Part of that is because it's hard to generalise the hundreds or thousands of political battles that will be decided today (despite Ludwig generalising about Democrats), and part of that is because many Republicans also suck, but just a little less than Democrats.