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Monday, June 9, 2014

KoopaTV's EA E3 2014 LIVE REACTIONS!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We decided it sucked in REAL-TIME! Like the promotions.

Continuing our coverage of EA, KoopaTV brings you our staff's live reactions to Electronic Arts and their terrible E3 2014 press conference. I'm Nintendork 13 13, Kamek is Ultralink1000, Rawk is himself, and Koopa Keep friend Mariosun90 makes a guest appearance as Ryudragon29.

The type of dude who might enjoy this conference. Two more screencaps at the end.

Ultralink1000 2:54 pm
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfdxfeU17g4

 Nintendork 13 13 2:54 pm
    We should start the EA log but I don't want to talk about EA because I have nothing to say

 RawkHawk2010 2:54 pm
    garden warfae

 Nintendork 13 13 2:54 pm
    dat baby daisy
    Why does EA even have their own conference?

 Ultralink1000 2:56 pm
    they're a huge gaming super power

 Nintendork 13 13 2:56 pm
    But they can't reply to press e-mails about movie announcements?

 RawkHawk2010 2:56 pm
    did we start the ea shit after last E3?

 Nintendork 13 13 2:56 pm
    Before.

 RawkHawk2010 2:56 pm
    with that girl?

 Nintendork 13 13 2:56 pm
    Before.

 RawkHawk2010 2:56 pm
    what if that dead girl is in this?

 Nintendork 13 13 2:56 pm
    Elizabeth Brett died before E3 2013
    We spent the whole EA conference last year looking for her.
    She wasn't there.
    ...Damn, EA is so boring to talk about.

 Nintendork 13 13 2:58 pm
    But they're our enemies, apparently.

 RawkHawk2010 2:58 pm
    maybe they'll fuck up
    oh yeah

 Nintendork 13 13 2:58 pm
    Didn't they sabotage Sony's last year?

 RawkHawk2010 2:58 pm
    they're gonna have the whole sports segment aren't they?
    With the meatheads?

 Nintendork 13 13 2:59 pm
    Yes.
    Gamespot guy sneezes

 RawkHawk2010 2:59 pm
    i just realized

 Nintendork 13 13 2:59 pm
    because EA isn't interesting.

 RawkHawk2010 2:59 pm
    if spark has enough freedom to do something like trayvon tyson's in 3d
    With Conker the subversiveness won't even be offensive.
    It'll just be Conker!

 Nintendork 13 13 3:00 pm
    ...
    EA running late.
    Typical.

 ultralink1 3:01 pm
    So...

 Nintendork 13 13 3:01 pm
    Dat username switch

 ultralink1 3:01 pm
    Are we doing EA?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:01 pm
    Dice Studio
    yeah
    http://www.gamespot.com/e3/ea-press-conference-2014/

 ultralink1 3:01 pm
    I'm on mobile >>

 Nintendork 13 13 3:01 pm
    ...
    >_>;
    Well it's Star Wars.
    By DICE.

 RawkHawk2010 3:01 pm
    so is this the conference
    what's happening

 Nintendork 13 13 3:01 pm
    They're going to a Lucas museum.
    "an incredibly emotional experience"
    It's a Star Wars museum, not the 9/11 memorial.

 RawkHawk2010 3:02 pm
    meh star wars
    was that guy wearing an ash ketchum hat

 Nintendork 13 13 3:02 pm
    Yes.
    I was thinking that.

 RawkHawk2010 3:02 pm
    lol

 ultralink1 3:02 pm
    Looks like it started
    Are we publishing this.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:02 pm
    Yes.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:02 pm
    It started.
    MUSIC
    EA!
    Welcome!

 RawkHawk2010 3:03 pm
    who's this douche

 Nintendork 13 13 3:03 pm
    Electronic Ahhhhhts
    Andrew Wilson the CEO.
    aka worse than Obama
    Diiiaaaace
    dat clapping

 RawkHawk2010 3:03 pm
    oh my god

 Nintendork 13 13 3:03 pm
    on the mic

 RawkHawk2010 3:03 pm
    awful
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 3:03 pm
    Owah
    = hour

 RawkHawk2010 3:03 pm
    He clapped longer than the audience.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:03 pm
    Mahhter most
    Different show.
    Gaymes here today
    Early designs, concept art.
    (I guess they weren't ready.)
    Futuah

 Ryudragon29 3:04 pm
    I just came back, did I miss sports yet?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:04 pm
    no

 Ryudragon29 3:04 pm
    good

 Nintendork 13 13 3:04 pm
    You're missing me make fun of Andrew Wilson's voice.
    GAYMES that connect
    INSPIRE
    and entertain.
    He's not saying anything important.

 RawkHawk2010 3:05 pm
    This guy reminds me of Mark Cuban from Shark Tank.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:05 pm
    Dragon Age: Inquisition
    He keeps clapping on-stage for himself.
    (And longer than the audience)
    Mark Cuban is cool.
    Violin.
    ...erm
    cello
    I dunno.

 RawkHawk2010 3:06 pm
    man

 Nintendork 13 13 3:06 pm
    She stopped the cello.

 RawkHawk2010 3:06 pm
    five minutes in and i'm already asleep

 Nintendork 13 13 3:06 pm
    oh she continues
    ...So the screen is just showing a bunch of environments.
    .............................

 Nintendork 13 13 3:07 pm
    it ended

 RawkHawk2010 3:07 pm
    um
    so a worse trailer of what we just saw?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:07 pm
    is this andrew wilson
    Aaryn Flynn
    I thought the girl was Aaryn Flynn.

 RawkHawk2010 3:08 pm
    dat assonance

 Nintendork 13 13 3:08 pm
    Alien
    I think we're about to see  a demo.
    Hydreigon is the enemy.

 RawkHawk2010 3:08 pm
    I'll be playing Words with Friends in the meantime.
    sounds more exciting than this shit

 Nintendork 13 13 3:09 pm
    But we gotta discuss attacking Front Right Leg.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:09 pm
    And we just saw a glimspe of Back Right Leg!
    ..........

 RawkHawk2010 3:09 pm
    uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

 Nintendork 13 13 3:09 pm
    isn't this how xenoblade plays
    or am I completely wrong

 RawkHawk2010 3:10 pm
    Ask our Taliban friend.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:10 pm
    Maybe we can use terroristic threats to get people to read KoopaTV.
    (Or the CIA will read it.)

 RawkHawk2010 3:10 pm
    "Read our latest article or we'll kidnap the president!"

 Nintendork 13 13 3:11 pm
    (Like when the NSA read the NSA article.)

 RawkHawk2010 3:11 pm
    (Or Oprah if we can't get him.)

 Nintendork 13 13 3:11 pm
    lol
    http://koopatv.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-nsa-in-your-mmo.html
    stream died

 RawkHawk2010 3:11 pm
    lollllllllllll

 Nintendork 13 13 3:11 pm
    "Signal Loss Detected Service Id 1"
    I don't even care.
    oh
    it's back

 RawkHawk2010 3:12 pm
    speaking of terrorists

 Nintendork 13 13 3:12 pm
    ...I'm disappointed.
    Hey, it's Mass Effect.
    Conceptual prototype
    "Pick a planet and cross the other side of the galaxy."
    Photorealism.
    ...Promised again.

 RawkHawk2010 3:13 pm
    do these devs sit in dark rooms all day
    sounds unhealthy

 Nintendork 13 13 3:13 pm
    .......
    >_>;

 Nintendork 13 13 3:13 pm
    So do you want our office to have scrumptious windows?

 RawkHawk2010 3:13 pm
    "build a fictional world that feels real"
    ^ bad

 Nintendork 13 13 3:13 pm
    oh did they say that

 RawkHawk2010 3:13 pm
    That defeats the whole point you dolts!

 Nintendork 13 13 3:14 pm
    wasn't paying attention
    The sims.

 RawkHawk2010 3:14 pm
    yea

 Nintendork 13 13 3:14 pm
    ...
    fake audience??
    What the fuck was that screeching?

 RawkHawk2010 3:14 pm
    #miiquality

 Nintendork 13 13 3:14 pm
    lol
    Sims 4
    control hearts
    #miiquality

 RawkHawk2010 3:14 pm
    obama

 Nintendork 13 13 3:14 pm
    LOL
    ...
    oh fuck
    It IS Obama
    "ambitious"

 RawkHawk2010 3:14 pm
    We need to go back and print screen the scene with those ears.
    that could be an article picture.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:15 pm
    Well at least we're paying attention.
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 3:15 pm
    this is specifically catering to the miiqualiters.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:15 pm
    I'll print screen something here

 RawkHawk2010 3:16 pm
    This demonstration is frothing with homoeroticism.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:16 pm
    I got a great screenshot
    I'll send you it.

 Ultralink1000 3:16 pm
    re-link me

 Nintendork 13 13 3:16 pm
    http://www.gamespot.com/e3/ea-press-conference-2014/

 Ultralink1000 3:17 pm
    Anything good so far?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:17 pm
    ...Sims 4
    OBAMA

 Ultralink1000 3:17 pm
    ...and?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:17 pm
    They're killing the guy

 Ultralink1000 3:17 pm
    o.o

 Nintendork 13 13 3:17 pm
    They killed the Sim
    by making him laugh to death

 RawkHawk2010 3:17 pm
    GAF probably loves this.
    homoeroticsm
    obama
    killing white people
    etc.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:18 pm
    lol
    September 2 2014

 Ryudragon29 3:18 pm
    dancing Obama?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:18 pm
    ya
    Obama photobomba

 RawkHawk2010 3:18 pm
    obama photobomb

 Ultralink1000 3:18 pm
    cow plant

 Nintendork 13 13 3:18 pm
    ...mine rhymed
    I like the cow plant.

 Ultralink1000 3:18 pm
    BRUCE LEE

 Nintendork 13 13 3:18 pm
    the hell is this

 RawkHawk2010 3:18 pm
    shiping bao

 Nintendork 13 13 3:19 pm
    why is this at e3

 RawkHawk2010 3:19 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 3:19 pm
    SPORTS MONTAGA

 Ultralink1000 3:19 pm
    whoa

 Nintendork 13 13 3:19 pm
    UFC
    Bruce Lee

 Ultralink1000 3:19 pm
    dude

 Ultralink1000 3:19 pm
    for good reason
    bruce lee was insanely amazing >>

 Nintendork 13 13 3:19 pm
    "no one's gonna be like bruce lee"
    who is this guy

 RawkHawk2010 3:19 pm
    I get Jet Li and Bruce Lee confused.

 Ultralink1000 3:20 pm
    >>
    ugh

 Nintendork 13 13 3:20 pm
    Brian Hayes
    "Anyone can be like Bruce Lee. ...Virtually."

 RawkHawk2010 3:20 pm
    GSP

 Ultralink1000 3:20 pm
    Bruce Lee was a real life legend

 RawkHawk2010 3:20 pm
    ^ That's a name?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:20 pm
    Bruce Lee's "HWAH"

 Ultralink1000 3:20 pm
    they look...
    very cartoony

 RawkHawk2010 3:20 pm
    is this kinect

 Nintendork 13 13 3:21 pm
    Reminds me of Fight Night.
    (I expect a Punch-Out!! cameo)

 Ultralink1000 3:21 pm
    Fight Night was fun

 Nintendork 13 13 3:21 pm
    Division mentioned

 Nintendork 13 13 3:21 pm
    Two-Division champion.

 Ryudragon29 3:21 pm
    The sports!

 Nintendork 13 13 3:21 pm
    Falcon Kicks

 Ultralink1000 3:21 pm
    Ooooooo

 Nintendork 13 13 3:22 pm
    Brain of one of the producers

 Ultralink1000 3:22 pm
    that technically should have happened in the first 5 seconds

 Nintendork 13 13 3:22 pm
    (So... less than the real one?)

 Ultralink1000 3:22 pm
    if it was realistic

 Nintendork 13 13 3:22 pm
    NHL 15
    "For the past year, everyone has been asking me the same question."

 Ultralink1000 3:22 pm
    >>

 Nintendork 13 13 3:22 pm
    ...I thought the question would be "What happened to the Madden Curse movie?"

 Ultralink1000 3:23 pm
    Highlight reels

 Nintendork 13 13 3:23 pm
    "We've put physics... on all 12 players. AND THE PUCK."
    How did the players and puck move before?

 Ultralink1000 3:23 pm
    I guess the arena looks nice
    EA CANADA
    figures

 Nintendork 13 13 3:23 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 3:23 pm
    MS90 comment?
    Well this looks photorealistic.

 Ryudragon29 3:24 pm
    lol Price

 RawkHawk2010 3:24 pm
    herman kane

 Nintendork 13 13 3:24 pm
    In the "I thought this was really hockey footage" sense.
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 3:24 pm
    That music did not go with the game by the way.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:24 pm
    Reggie fils-a-mech

 Ultralink1000 3:24 pm
    dude's tall o_O

 Nintendork 13 13 3:24 pm
    ...or Patrick Soderlund

 RawkHawk2010 3:24 pm
    "If you know me at all"

 Nintendork 13 13 3:24 pm
    cars

 RawkHawk2010 3:24 pm
    I don't.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:24 pm
    lol

 Ultralink1000 3:25 pm
    "If you know me at all, you know i'm freaking tall...."

 RawkHawk2010 3:25 pm
    Pretty sure no one else does either.

 Ryudragon29 3:25 pm
    stop cutting your grass so loudly neighbor >.>

 Ultralink1000 3:25 pm
    it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood

 Nintendork 13 13 3:25 pm
    "If you know me at all, you'll know I play Castle of Illusion every week."

 RawkHawk2010 3:26 pm
    lolllllllllll

 Ultralink1000 3:26 pm
    Criterion makes some good stuff sometimes

 RawkHawk2010 3:26 pm
    that silhouette looked like reggie

 Nintendork 13 13 3:26 pm
    Fuck cars
    let's go on helicopters?

 Ultralink1000 3:26 pm
    that's burnout paradise

 Nintendork 13 13 3:26 pm
    See Rawk?
    Not a dark room.
    ...well there's a pub.

 RawkHawk2010 3:26 pm
    smooth mcgroove

 Ultralink1000 3:26 pm
    New IP

 Nintendork 13 13 3:27 pm
    Wingsuits

 Ultralink1000 3:27 pm
    whoa

 Nintendork 13 13 3:27 pm
    isn't that a mari0 power-up

 Ultralink1000 3:27 pm
    cool

 Nintendork 13 13 3:27 pm
    Are those the EA guys falling out of the plane?
    That's probably how they killed Elizabeth Brett.

 Ultralink1000 3:27 pm
    First Person driving action adventure

 RawkHawk2010 3:27 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 3:27 pm
    They dropped her out of a plane to test the game.

 RawkHawk2010 3:28 pm
    I now subscribe to that

 Ultralink1000 3:28 pm
    @_@ they didn't say what game it was

 Nintendork 13 13 3:28 pm
    Cry... Criterion
    EA... EA Sports
    Stutterer.

 Ultralink1000 3:28 pm
    maybe he's cold

 Nintendork 13 13 3:28 pm
    golf

 Ultralink1000 3:28 pm
    PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES
    of golf

 Nintendork 13 13 3:28 pm
    It's California in a heated auditorium. <.<

 RawkHawk2010 3:28 pm
    "explore every inch of the course"
    probably not good if someone does that

 Ultralink1000 3:28 pm
    NO LIMITS
    for golf

 Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    Rawk have you visited Peachtree's golf course?

 Ultralink1000 3:29 pm
    did golf have limits?

 Ryudragon29 3:29 pm
    Better than Mario Golf**

 Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    NO_LIMIT_NIGGA
    WOAH

 Ultralink1000 3:29 pm
    I feel like golf wouldn't hav- what?

 RawkHawk2010 3:29 pm
    that's in the bucket list
    um

 Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    the ball exploded

 Ultralink1000 3:29 pm
    O_______o

 RawkHawk2010 3:29 pm
    That ship didn't even affect the gameplay.

 Ultralink1000 3:29 pm
    Michael Bay golf

 RawkHawk2010 3:29 pm
    Did it?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    MADDEN

 Ultralink1000 3:29 pm
    MADDDEN!

 Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    GAMERS TELLING US FOR YEARS

 Ryudragon29 3:29 pm
    Battlefield merge into Golf

 Nintendork 13 13 3:29 pm
    WE WANT THE MOVIE

 RawkHawk2010 3:29 pm
    madden curse

 RawkHawk2010 3:30 pm
    i know a dude in this game
    or two

 Nintendork 13 13 3:30 pm
    it makes sense to have camera behind you so let's have the camera surround you

 Ultralink1000 3:30 pm
    so...quick time events?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:30 pm
    Tackling has always been a challenge to do in Madden?
    Isn't tackling a fundamental part of football?
    Wot the hell have they been doing for 25 years?

 Ultralink1000 3:31 pm
    I dunno. I played one madden game

 RawkHawk2010 3:31 pm
    Would y'all play a Mario Football?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:31 pm
    no

 Ultralink1000 3:31 pm
    Maybe
    I feel like it could work

 RawkHawk2010 3:31 pm
    I still want a Mario Gotcha.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:31 pm
    Emmy award winning cinemotfosakfdgf

 Ultralink1000 3:31 pm
    did he really say that?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:31 pm
    Making the animations.

 Ultralink1000 3:31 pm
    emmy award winning ?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:32 pm
    ...I dunno how to spell cinematographer

 RawkHawk2010 3:32 pm
    How can someone win an emmy when it's not even out?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:32 pm
    OM,G

 Nintendork 13 13 3:32 pm
    THE MOVIE
    THE MOVIE

 Ultralink1000 3:32 pm
    ooooooo

 Nintendork 13 13 3:32 pm
    THE MOVIE
    OTHER SIDE OF THE BALL
    IT'S A MOVIE
    IT'S A MOVIE TRAILER
    STEEL CURTAIN
    FEARSOME FOURSOME
    LEGION OF BOOM
    I DUNNO WHAT THAT MEANS

 Ultralink1000 3:32 pm
    nope

 Nintendork 13 13 3:32 pm
    "They shut down their rivals by imposing their will."

 RawkHawk2010 3:32 pm
    i think this is just a long cutscene

 Ultralink1000 3:32 pm
    game trailer >>

 Nintendork 13 13 3:32 pm
    MAKE THAT TRANSFORMATION
    ...

 Ultralink1000 3:33 pm
    dramatic game trailer

 Nintendork 13 13 3:33 pm
    ...
    NOOOOOOOO
    MADDEN NFL 15

 RawkHawk2010 3:33 pm
    looooooooooooooooooool

 Nintendork 13 13 3:33 pm
    I DON'T WANT YOU
    FUCK
    FUCKJ EAA
    ]BTRDGFYGFBHFGT

 RawkHawk2010 3:33 pm
    There was a pause after "Madden"

 Nintendork 13 13 3:33 pm
    MADDEN

 RawkHawk2010 3:33 pm
    Thought they were gonna say Curse.

 Ultralink1000 3:33 pm
    awkward....

 Nintendork 13 13 3:33 pm
    moba
    You go from Madden to a MOBA?!

 RawkHawk2010 3:33 pm
    oh god
    Mobafags.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:33 pm
    what thre fbdch g
    constant dialogue with players

 Nintendork 13 13 3:34 pm
    uggggggh
    Characters fighting for a purpose
    oh hey
    MOBA with a story
    AHH
    MARI0 CAMEO
    MARI0 CAMEO

 RawkHawk2010 3:34 pm
    I like the lizard.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:34 pm
    DID YOU SEE IT

 RawkHawk2010 3:34 pm
    no

 Ultralink1000 3:34 pm
    no

 Ryudragon29 3:34 pm
    wait, why am I watching LoL now?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:34 pm
    it was on the guy's desk
    it was mari0
    all blocky

 Ryudragon29 3:35 pm
    or is this a new shit MOBA?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:35 pm
    It's a new shit MOBA

 RawkHawk2010 3:35 pm
    unprecedented partnership

 Nintendork 13 13 3:35 pm
    Named Dawngate
    was that a master sword

 Ryudragon29 3:35 pm
    Bookish nerd is totally a new concept

 Nintendork 13 13 3:35 pm
    Fake applause
    Andrew Wilson returns.

 RawkHawk2010 3:35 pm
    This guy is full of drivel

 Nintendork 13 13 3:36 pm
    fuuuuhst time

 RawkHawk2010 3:36 pm
    Nothing he says has any significance.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:36 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 3:36 pm
    "I think we're doing some pretty good stuff."
    stream died

 Ultralink1000 3:36 pm
    oops
    stream is dead

 Nintendork 13 13 3:36 pm
    ...

 RawkHawk2010 3:36 pm
    mine's fine

 Nintendork 13 13 3:36 pm
    refreshing
    What's he driveling about?

 Ultralink1000 3:36 pm
    *refreshing*

 Nintendork 13 13 3:37 pm
    going to twitch
    http://www.twitch.tv/twitch
    Twitch working
    Some guy drawing on a tablet

 Ryudragon29 3:37 pm
    the only "good" EA game

 Nintendork 13 13 3:37 pm
    Mirror's Edge right?

 Ultralink1000 3:37 pm
    oooo

 Ryudragon29 3:37 pm
    I'm surprised I didn't see Borderlands

 Ultralink1000 3:37 pm
    mirror's edge

 RawkHawk2010 3:37 pm
    mirror's edge girl is the only female protagonist feminists like.
    stream died

 Ultralink1000 3:38 pm
    dang it

 Nintendork 13 13 3:38 pm
    what the fuck they had an ea employee jump around or wot

 Ultralink1000 3:38 pm
    what gives >>

 Nintendork 13 13 3:38 pm
    Twitch is working.

 Ultralink1000 3:38 pm
    they hired a parkour artist

 RawkHawk2010 3:38 pm
    first person games are dumb

 Nintendork 13 13 3:38 pm
    She just jumped on a dude.

 Ryudragon29 3:38 pm
    follow the orange object: the game

 RawkHawk2010 3:39 pm
    first person games indicate no focus on characters.
    since you never see yours

 Ultralink1000 3:39 pm
    ouch

 Nintendork 13 13 3:39 pm
    They could focus on other characters.

 Ryudragon29 3:39 pm
    Actually, the first one had animation cutscene
    which "developped" her character

 Nintendork 13 13 3:39 pm
    EA Sports
    Fifa 15
    Sports montage to Mirror's Edge
    to EA Sports
    "football"

 RawkHawk2010 3:40 pm
    football is the greatest drummer on earth

 Nintendork 13 13 3:40 pm
    ...(soccer)

 Ultralink1000 3:40 pm
    feeeeeeel the gaaaaaaame

 Nintendork 13 13 3:40 pm
    rawk wot does that even mean

 RawkHawk2010 3:40 pm
    that's how he said "drama"

 Ultralink1000 3:40 pm
    emotions seem to be the theme this E3

 RawkHawk2010 3:40 pm
    Dammit I have to urinate.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:40 pm
    Go ahead

 RawkHawk2010 3:40 pm
    How long's EA gonna keep me here!

 Nintendork 13 13 3:40 pm
    You won't miss much.
    Shirt-pulling
    Fundamentally changing the game.
    (Emotions the theme? ...let's not try to find themes yet.)
    KOMPANY

 Ultralink1000 3:41 pm
    thats not realistic at all

 Nintendork 13 13 3:41 pm
    The cock at Amfield
    Fifer experience

 Ultralink1000 3:42 pm
    xD

 Nintendork 13 13 3:42 pm
    Football is greatest drummer on earth
    ...so is rawk like

 Nintendork 13 13 3:42 pm
    way ahead
    Or did they repeat that line?

 RawkHawk2010 3:42 pm
    agony
    tension
    heartbreak

 Nintendork 13 13 3:42 pm
    "But isn't fiction"

 RawkHawk2010 3:42 pm
    are y'all there

 Nintendork 13 13 3:42 pm
    "stages are real"
    "we can feel them"

 Ultralink1000 3:43 pm
    REAL

 Nintendork 13 13 3:43 pm
    "take the ball"

 Ultralink1000 3:43 pm
    FEEL

 Nintendork 13 13 3:43 pm
    "take the man"
    "heroes run through wars to ignite our imagination"
    "one kick"
    "one swear"
    "one magic moment"
    "forever"
    "we are these moments"
    "more than game"
    "this is sparta"
    erm
    football

 Ultralink1000 3:43 pm
    ^

 Nintendork 13 13 3:44 pm
    ...So you at where I am?

 RawkHawk2010 3:44 pm
    sports aren't this serious guy

 Ultralink1000 3:44 pm
    I am

 RawkHawk2010 3:44 pm
    yes

 Nintendork 13 13 3:44 pm
    Shooting

 RawkHawk2010 3:44 pm
    gta6

 Nintendork 13 13 3:44 pm
    black guy
    helicopter
    train
    Battlefield HARDLINE

 Ultralink1000 3:44 pm
    another one

 RawkHawk2010 3:44 pm
    what time is it

 Nintendork 13 13 3:44 pm
    Seriously are these fake applause
    3:44

 Ultralink1000 3:45 pm
    *squeals*

 RawkHawk2010 3:45 pm
    do we have another hour of this shit

 Nintendork 13 13 3:45 pm
    There aren't any squealing people in the audience.
    Yeah I guess.
    3 to 5.

 Ultralink1000 3:46 pm
    OOOOOOOOOOOoooooo

 RawkHawk2010 3:46 pm
    "Karl-Magnus Troesdan"

 Ultralink1000 3:46 pm
    got his battlefields confused

RawkHawk2010 3:46 pm
    Sounds like a fucking FE villain.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:46 pm
    lol
    32 player heist
    Criminals make off with loot
    Downtown LA
    (where the EA conference is?)
    Breaking News
    Channel 5
    where Luig1's death stare gets shown

 RawkHawk2010 3:47 pm
    so is this a normal day in LA?

 Nintendork 13 13 3:47 pm
    yes
    So don't go to California.
    There's some motherfucker flying in the air.
    Car exploded

 RawkHawk2010 3:48 pm
    this is bullet hell

 Nintendork 13 13 3:48 pm
    "You have been promoted"
    Real-time promotion!

 Ultralink1000 3:48 pm
    preeeeeety sure he should have died from the car

 Nintendork 13 13 3:48 pm
    Instant gratification.

 Ultralink1000 3:48 pm
    apparently he has the loot

 Nintendork 13 13 3:49 pm
    This real-time promotion shit is ruining this generation of kids.
    Thinking this is how real life works.
    You gotta work hard for months, kids.
    And not by stealing shit.

 RawkHawk2010 3:49 pm
    did that car start flying

 Nintendork 13 13 3:49 pm
    "fuck the windshield"
    Police
    Taser

 Ultralink1000 3:49 pm
    oh sna
    p

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    This is LA?

 RawkHawk2010 3:50 pm
    this looks awful

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    Seems more like Afghanistan.

 RawkHawk2010 3:50 pm
    it's just about shooting everything in sight
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    Is this what happened when you got captured in France, Kamek?

 Ultralink1000 3:50 pm
    pretty much

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    lol

 Ultralink1000 3:50 pm
    Real time promotions  and all

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    what the fuck
    AHHH

 Ultralink1000 3:50 pm
    I got promoted twi-

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    THE BUILDING
    NOW IT

 Ultralink1000 3:50 pm
    WHAT

 Nintendork 13 13 3:50 pm
    IS 9/11
    9/11
    EA DID 9/11

 Ultralink1000 3:51 pm
    freaking cranes

 Nintendork 13 13 3:51 pm
    NOT THE JEWS
    What a relief!

 RawkHawk2010 3:51 pm
    EA are Jews. =-O

 Nintendork 13 13 3:51 pm
    ..
    FUCK

 Ultralink1000 3:51 pm
    ...

 Nintendork 13 13 3:51 pm
    Elevator sequence

 Ultralink1000 3:51 pm
    baseball bat was kinda harsh

 Nintendork 13 13 3:52 pm
    Elevator best part of the footage.

 RawkHawk2010 3:52 pm
    where was the elevator music

 Ultralink1000 3:52 pm
    nope
    kinda sad that there wasn't any
    "You still have the loot"

 Nintendork 13 13 3:52 pm
    Gratuitous zipline
    I don't think the loot is fucking worth it at this point.
    Helicopter vs. Helicopter

 Ultralink1000 3:53 pm
    but it has an orange plus sign on it
    that was a freakin' good shot

 Nintendork 13 13 3:53 pm
    jump off
    game over

 RawkHawk2010 3:53 pm
    game over

 Ultralink1000 3:53 pm
    these people sound weird

 Nintendork 13 13 3:53 pm
    "If you're a gamer like... ME."
    *points to himself*

 Ultralink1000 3:53 pm
    *stifles laughter*

Nintendork 13 13 3:54 pm
    Preview of Sony

 RawkHawk2010 3:54 pm
    jew

 Nintendork 13 13 3:54 pm
    wot's this fat fuck
    Adam Boyes

 RawkHawk2010 3:54 pm
    ahahahhaahaha

 Ultralink1000 3:54 pm
    oh my gosh that site is going to crash so hard

 Nintendork 13 13 3:54 pm
    "You have to get it quick."
    Adam left in disgrace.

 RawkHawk2010 3:55 pm
    "won't last long"

 Ultralink1000 3:55 pm
    So much for show audiences
    wut

 Nintendork 13 13 3:55 pm
    They got dudes on the roof.

 Ultralink1000 3:55 pm
    is that a real place?

 RawkHawk2010 3:55 pm
    what the fuck

 Nintendork 13 13 3:55 pm
    ...The same roof the helicopter went off of?

 RawkHawk2010 3:55 pm
    Was that real

 Nintendork 13 13 3:55 pm
    Yes.

 RawkHawk2010 3:55 pm
    I thought that was game footage

 Nintendork 13 13 3:55 pm
    No.
    WHAT THE
    SMOKE
    "That's our show everybody."

 RawkHawk2010 3:56 pm
    was that the end

 Ultralink1000 3:56 pm
    O_o

 Nintendork 13 13 3:56 pm
    did they end an hour early

 Ultralink1000 3:56 pm
    sucky

 RawkHawk2010 3:56 pm
    Thank goodness.

 Ultralink1000 3:56 pm
    <_<

 Nintendork 13 13 3:56 pm
    Phew.

 RawkHawk2010 3:56 pm
    I'm falling out of my chair.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:56 pm
    It's over.
    Okay.
    ...
    Thoughts?

 RawkHawk2010 3:56 pm
    All I care about is finding The Sims video on YouTube to get screencaps of Obama.

 Ultralink1000 3:56 pm
    sucks

 Nintendork 13 13 3:56 pm
    lol

 Ultralink1000 3:56 pm
    I wish I could have seen that
    obama photobombs were cool though

 Nintendork 13 13 3:57 pm
    Twitch guys on the couches seemed to really like it.

 Ultralink1000 3:57 pm
    I was not impressed silly twitch person >>

 Nintendork 13 13 3:58 pm
    (Well, I'm not interested.)
  
    No Madden Curse.

 RawkHawk2010 3:58 pm
    closed

 Nintendork 13 13 3:58 pm
    We got 2 hours until Ubisoft.

 Nintendork 13 13 3:59 pm
    ...Yeah I got nothing to talk about besides no Madden Curse.

 RawkHawk2010 3:59 pm
    https://twitter.com/Henry_Sterchi/status/476068127021604865
    brb

 Ultralink1000 4:00 pm
    meh

 Nintendork 13 13 4:00 pm
    Getting screencap of Obama
    Off Gamespot
    because it can go backwards

 Nintendork 13 13 4:02 pm
    getting photobomba

 Ultralink1000 4:03 pm
    sigh


President Barack Hussein Obama's ears.


Obama is no secret to selfies.


We'll continue our coverage of E3 in a few hours. Stay tuned to KoopaTV!


For Microsoft's conference just before this one, click here!
The next conference is available here.
For EA's conference last year, click here. EA's conference in THE FUTURE is here.
Don't know why we keep bringing up Madden Curse and Elizabeth Brett? Look here.

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