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Monday, June 19, 2017

KoopaTV's Devolver Digital E3 2017 Non-Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We watched this a week later, and opinions differ on whether even that was worth it.

Before we can close out the reaction logs portion of E3 Weeks 2017, there is one company's conference that we never live-reacted to. That is Devolver Digital, a company that has never been mentioned on KoopaTV before and no one has ever heard of. How did such a small, irrelevant company manage to book E3 time? (Even if it's at 1 AM on Monday.)

It's...quickly apparent how this managed to happen. Read our log for how, and follow along with this embedded video:


(8:44:21 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) lol

(8:44:30 PM) (rawkhawk2010) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqPT9hyPANs

(8:44:39 PM) (rawkhawk2010) we have to figure out how to all start this at the same time

(8:44:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...yeah...

(8:44:57 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I'm ready whenever you guys are.

(8:45:03 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: But are you really?

(8:45:08 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Yes.

(8:45:09 PM) (rawkhawk2010) ludwig say start when you start

(8:45:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...

(8:45:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: start

(8:45:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) HERE WE GO

(8:45:25 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Ladies

(8:45:28 PM) (rawkhawk2010) The final conference

(8:45:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: There's an on-screen countdown.

(8:45:45 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Isn't Devolver just a bunch of indie games?"

(8:45:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "What a waste of time."

Devolver Digital Big Fancy Press Conference 2017 convention center countdown
11 seconds left!


(8:45:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, they're right.

(8:46:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "E3, Devolver is finally a real publisher."

(8:46:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: (It's not, it's some random shit that happened at 1 AM)

(8:46:13 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Shenmue 3

(8:46:23 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: BIF FANCY PRESS CONFERENCE 2017

(8:46:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: TOMORROW'S UNETHICAL BUSINESS PRACTICES TODAY

(8:46:31 PM) (rawkhawk2010) oh hey

(8:46:32 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf audience

(8:46:35 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is the audience stock footage?

(8:46:36 PM) (rawkhawk2010) bigger audience than i expected

(8:46:41 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or were there really people?

(8:46:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) it looks like a CNN town hall

(8:46:49 PM) (rawkhawk2010) sorta

(8:46:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: It might actually be stock footage.

(8:46:59 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Nina Struthers

(8:47:02 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Like the Greg Gutfeld audience before he got an audience.

(8:47:05 PM) (rawkhawk2010) What if your last name was Struthers?

(8:47:14 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) No way that's a real audience.

(8:47:19 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: dude I called it

(8:47:21 PM) (rawkhawk2010) wtf

(8:47:21 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a fake audience.

(8:47:41 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Revolver Digital.

(8:47:44 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Typical indie trash.

(8:47:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) but I thought warning shots were illegal!

Devolver Digital Nina Struthers warning shot scary wild eyed gun Mahria Zook
KoopaTV may regret not heeding it.

(8:47:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Here's the real audience.

(8:48:00 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...herself.

(8:48:09 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Video very games"

(8:48:17 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: The camera keeps switching angles when she says "very"

(8:48:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) This reminds me of a Super Deluxe sketch.

(8:48:30 PM) (rawkhawk2010) With the repeated words and camera angles.

Devolver Digital E3 2017 press conference fake audience footage clapping
At least they seem to like it.

(8:48:48 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Devolver Digital fans"

(8:48:55 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Are there any real Devolver Digital fans?

(8:49:00 PM) (rawkhawk2010) FOR ETHICS!

(8:49:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Check a look"

(8:49:07 PM) (rawkhawk2010) girl just planked

(8:49:27 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this a real game?

(8:49:39 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I... don't know...

(8:49:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or more performance art?

(8:49:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) well this conference isn't a real conference

(8:49:56 PM) (rawkhawk2010) so who knows

(8:50:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: So do we have to rank it?

(8:50:05 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(8:50:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Well it's below Sony so far.

(8:50:19 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't even know the name of that game.

(8:50:19 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I dunno about that.

(8:50:26 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: If that was even a game.

(8:50:55 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Their accounting team is dying.

(8:50:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) sad pandas

(8:50:59 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) lol, "sad pandas and suicide watch".

(8:51:03 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: (Probably even more after buying this stock footage)

(8:51:05 PM) (rawkhawk2010) btw babies probably shouldn't be in the audience

(8:51:22 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Hey it's Vortex's computer.

(8:51:29 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) lol

(8:51:30 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(8:51:33 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Devolver Digital Screen Pay!"

(8:51:42 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Interacting with fake audience.

(8:52:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Throwing dollars into the monitor.

(8:52:22 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: And they warp into Devolver's bank account.

(8:52:25 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: (Money laundering?)

(8:52:28 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) "Chuck those bucks!"

Devolver Digital throw money at the screen monitor buck chuck
Do they accept Sierra Leonian currency?

(8:52:36 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) AHHH

(8:52:42 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: The guy's arm just got destroyed

(8:52:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I KNEW THESE GUYS WERE TERRORISTS.

(8:52:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) this >>>>>> sony

(8:53:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: HOME-GROWN TERRORISM

(8:53:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not putting ISIS-inspired nutjobs above Sony.

(8:53:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Sony has totally forgotten about how to have a presentation

(8:53:52 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: but

(8:53:57 PM) (rawkhawk2010) That game didn't look good.

(8:53:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: there's no content here. <_<

(8:54:02 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Just like the other one.

(8:54:16 PM) (rawkhawk2010) "I bet you want *that* game!"

(8:54:18 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "You will buy that game!"

(8:54:23 PM) (rawkhawk2010) "BUY THAT MOTHERFUCKING GAME!"

(8:54:27 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: She's not even saying the name of the game.

(8:54:31 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(8:54:44 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Promoting that Early Access.

(8:54:48 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: She's saying I think Early Access is good.

(8:54:51 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: (It's not)

(8:54:56 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Devolver Digital Earliest Access"

(8:55:18 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Asleep dude in the audience.

(8:55:46 PM) (rawkhawk2010) this is like a really unhinged version of aisha

(8:55:53 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I miss real Aisha.

(8:55:54 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: WTF

(8:55:57 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: SUDA51!?!?!!?


(8:56:03 PM) (rawkhawk2010) wtf

(8:56:10 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Is that really him?

(8:56:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: "Devolver Digital? Who is that?"

(8:56:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) wtf was that

(8:56:46 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: uhh it could really be him

(8:56:59 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Did girl get Splatoon'd?

(8:57:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: He did retweet Devolver Digital

(8:57:12 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: so

(8:57:32 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Get that man to hospital.

(8:57:54 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Devolver Comment Created Content

(8:58:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Pull any half-assed comment from the forums.

(8:58:14 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Real-time (weapon) change.

(8:58:14 PM) (rawkhawk2010) wtf

(8:58:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) SHE'S NOSE-BLEEDING

(8:58:26 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) o_o

(8:58:29 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: eek

(8:58:34 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: SHE'S A ZOMBIE

(8:58:36 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: OR ISIS

(8:58:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: OR BOTH

(8:58:49 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Internet comments cost lives.

(8:59:04 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Glad I didn't stay up at 1 AM to actually watch this.

(8:59:19 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: She's Screaming.

(8:59:25 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: literally

Devolver Digital head explodes blood model dummy press conference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8FB_9EV_cM

(8:59:37 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: That'll be Rawk one day.

(8:59:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: >_>

(8:59:39 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: <_<

(8:59:42 PM) (rawkhawk2010) rofl

(8:59:42 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) Wow.

(8:59:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Credits.

(8:59:53 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) That girl dimensional screamed HARD.

(8:59:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) KOOPA

(8:59:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I SAW A KOOPA

Devolver Digital Koopa press conference E3 2017
Bottom-right corner? Rawk says that's a Koopa.

(8:59:58 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Fake credits.

(9:00:05 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I didn't see a Koopa. >_>

(9:00:13 PM) (rawkhawk2010) It was there.

(9:00:15 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I also didn't take any screenshots.

(9:00:16 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Burrito.

(9:00:49 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Was that a game?

(9:00:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) yes

(9:01:15 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Well

(9:01:17 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Thoughts?

(9:01:27 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I want 15 minutes of my life back.

(9:01:55 PM) (rawkhawk2010) On one hand there wasn't a single interesting game shown.

(9:02:25 PM) (rawkhawk2010) On the other hand that's not all that different from Sony.

(9:02:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Sony at least had Mega Man X show up.

(9:02:38 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: :(

(9:02:52 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Shouldn't we respect that Devolver tried to compensate for their lack of content?

(9:02:56 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: no

(9:02:58 PM) (rawkhawk2010) With something besides a waterfall?

(9:03:08 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Because no one asked them to make this.

(9:03:31 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: They're just some random tiny-ass company (11 employees according to Wikipedia) looking for attention.

(9:03:44 PM) (rawkhawk2010) How's that any different from us?!

(9:04:10 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: ...we're tinier-ass. :(

(9:04:20 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Okay so we all had to have a favorite part, at least.

(9:04:26 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Mine was the buck chucking.

(9:04:43 PM) (breezinabout@msn.com) I appreciated the effort to lampoon poor industry practices, but I honestly expected something a bit better than that.

(9:05:11 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I liked SUDA 51.

(9:05:38 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Was SUDA 51 only there to say he had nothing to do with the company?

(9:05:47 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently.

(9:05:54 PM) (rawkhawk2010) lol

(9:05:55 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I dunno what connection he actually has with it.

(9:06:01 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: Or what alleged connection he's supposed to have.

(9:07:07 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I liked the reused genuine audience clips after punchlines.

(9:07:11 PM) (rawkhawk2010) I could see us doing that.

(9:08:50 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Well, y'all are welcome.

(9:08:59 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: I reject any and all comparisons between us and THAT.

(9:09:04 PM) (rawkhawk2010) Let the KoopaTV E3 Weeks continue!

(9:09:07 PM) Ludwig Von Koopa: We're infinitely better!



With this so-called “conference” out of the way, KoopaTV can bring you the site's opinions on which conferences were better than others! Screenshots and most of the captions to the screenshots are the work of RawkHawk2010.

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