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Monday, October 27, 2014

When Is Marth Going To Learn English?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Roy of Pherae too.

While I was conversing with some Nintendo and Super Smash Bros. series fans, an interesting question was brought up: Why does Marth still speak Japanese, even in Super Smash Bros. 4? He has been in America for 13 years now. It's not like he just got off the boat! What's he doing? He is now the only character in the localized version of Super Smash Bros. to still be talking in Japanese, but his games have been in America already!

Roy and Marth, the Fire Emblem guys in Super Smash Bros. Melee, are loyal to Japan.
Marth will stay Japanese to the end. And hopefully that other dude isn't in the game.

Not to mention that his fangirl, Lucina, speaks perfect English. And she was PRETENDING TO BE MARTH. If I was pretending to be someone, I'd imitate their language, too.

Marth strikes me as the type of guy who speaks another language you don't know in front of you just to vent some frustration at you. Or maybe he is trash-talking you. He is not enough of a coward that he won't express it to you right in front of your face — but he is enough of a coward that he will do it in a language you don't understand. You're not gonna trash-talk the foreigner for talking to you, right? You don't KNOW what he's saying!

In this respect, this makes Marth the same as the Korean Nail Shop women from Seinfeld.


He and Roy will be standing in the corner talking trash about how fat Mario is, that Yoshi could not jump out of his shield, or that Link wears tights. (Hey, Marth, you wear a tiara!) Back in the Super Smash Bros. Melee days they would make fun of you if you did not L-Cancel all of your aerials or you did not Directional Influence correctly to save your life. They were the worst kind of people.

Soon after 2003, Roy had his work visa revoked. He was deported and never seen again. Marth remained. However, Marth lost his fellow Japanese-speaking friend. With no one to trade jabs at other people with, Marth became even more anti-social. He felt out-of-place here, and returned to his homeland. (See below.)


Marth will not yield to you or any other nation, here on my own land, under my own roof!
Marth is, obviously and ironically, yielding to the forces of English.

Marth considers Altea Japan to be the best kingdom country and the homeland. English is a degenerate language, according to people like him. It doesn't matter if it's the language that most people in the world want to learn if they want to be successful. It's the language unifying the West! Marth wants to represent the East and do it proud. So he came back to Super Smash Bros. 4, still talking in Japanese.

However, now he just doesn't have the strength or impressive swordplay to back up his nationalist pride. Lucina, an incredibly Marth-like person, is much more popular among people. This could be because she's a girl. It could be because she's a social butterfly. But it could also merely be that she speaks English, and is much more successful as a result. Her one-liners have much more oomph when the audience understands them! Other people are getting tired of Marth's shit, like Ike, Robin, and female Robin. And then there is KoopaTV hero and all-American Little Mac, who makes it his business to counter Marth. Marth is stuck in the ways of the old country.

In the words of Alex Jones, “Why don't you come to America, I'll take you out shooting, you can become an American, and join the Republic!” Super Smash Bros. 4 is the best opportunity for Marth to do that, especially with Duck Hunt around.


Ludwig is proud to only know English, which he also considers to be "Universal Language". He set his Miiverse settings to only allow English posts to show up on his feeds, and also turned down the option to have a Google Translate widget on KoopaTV. In some respects, he may even be worse than Marth. Comment your thoughts below! ...In English. Only.


Roy did appear in Super Smash Bros. 4, and he hurt Koopas in doing so.

2 comments :

  1. 私はあなたを楽しませるのですか?

    Hehe. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. はい。

      Also, welcome to the netherworld.

      Erm, KoopaTV's comments section.

      Delete

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