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Sunday, June 10, 2018

KoopaTV's Microsoft E3 2018 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We might eventually call it Xbox E3 2018, if not for the fact that everything is also on Windows 10.

It's time for the first competent gaming company of E3 to present their gamer-focused press conference: Microsoft! How will Phil Spencer, now Executive President of Gaming at Microsoft (up from Head of Xbox), impress us this year? Microsoft was definitely hyping up this conference, so they have a lot to deliver for!

Carrying this reaction log are myself and RawkHawk2010, with Wendy O. Koopa napping until the end.

Check out our full E3 Weeks 2018 schedule here!

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Help I'm actually not ready.

[3:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: the hell's up?

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EA was on-time yesterday.

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe Microsoft will be late.

[3:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: How are you not ready?

[3:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't have anything to eat and I drank all my milk.

[3:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: <.<

[3:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: GO GET IT

[3:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: You have four minutes.

[3:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: k

[3:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't do milk guys.

[3:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's like dental floss.

[3:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: Conspiracy.

[3:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: By the dairy hegemony.

[3:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just bloats you.

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Don't have milk

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: <_<

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Poured last of the apple juice.

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reminder that we'll have a bunch of time dedicated to Battlefield V.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: E to Mature.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Countdown.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is that Ryu's theme?

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/365937787746254854/455461146456096769/IMG_20180610_155943.jpg

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: one milk dud

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: All I got.

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: "Jump in."

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Still a slogan!

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I have a bag of raisins that expired two months ago.

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Since when!

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sounds kinda like Rare.

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Game Engine demonstration.

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Whimsical music sorta.

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nah this is gonna be WiLD

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Rhinos...

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sea.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (of non-thieves)

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Orange smoke bomb.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Master Chief mask.

[4:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh look who it is

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wait wot.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HALO

[4:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Huge surprise.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: INFINITE

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: As opposed to Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite.

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Halo Infinite... powered by the Slipspace Engine. (Whatever that is)

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Phil

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: My impression of "Infinite" is "software as a service"

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: #IDontStandWithPhil

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: No Rare shirt.

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: What are they chanting?

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Phil?

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "PHIL"

[4:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: The audience are all costume'd.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reminder that Phil Spencer got a promotion in Microsoft since we've last saw him.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is being streamed on TV?

[4:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: DK Vine is here btw.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: #XboxFanFest

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (What's Xbox Fan Fest?)

[4:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: Something we don't wanna be at I imagine.

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Comic Con of Xbox?

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sounds like a charity drive.

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe the Burning Man of Xbox.

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: This looks kinda dystopian.\

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Gaming fosters real community"

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Everyone wearing the same clothes

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Legendary Characters

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: 10 20 30 years

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THIRTY YEARS

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Anniversaries!

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Told you.

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SEAS

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Danger on the Seas (of Thieves)

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: MONTHS

They've traveled the WORLD.

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dude

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: 30 years

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In the UK.

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: MS doesn't have anything 30 years old aside from Rare

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: I don't think

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: 50 games?

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FIFTY GAMES.

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: 18 exclusives

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 18 titles of exclusivity.

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: 15 world premiers

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 15 world premieres.

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sounds big

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Even if it's all Indie shit tbh.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: JUMP IN

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is the first time I've heard Jump In in years.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Microsoft Studios presents...

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Must be revived.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Colourful looking stuff.

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Birds.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BIRD

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks better than anything we've seen thus far.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BIRDS

[4:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: eek that ain't a bird

[4:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks like that thing from BotW

[4:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Blue rabbit thing

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ori

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ori and the Will of the Wisps

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Seems familiar.

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: World Premier

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Already beats EA.

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FIRE

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: I like the Ori protagonist btw

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Need more cute protagonists

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this a new Warriors game?

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: This guy ain't cute but not hideous

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: From Software

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Who is From

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dark Souls?

[4:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Activision.

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think From is Dark Souls.

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Either that or Infogrames.

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought that big dude was shaving with his sword.

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But he was just vomiting on it.

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Was that a giant enemy crab?

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SEKIRO SHADOWS DIE TWICE

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming 2019.

[4:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: Gore Game

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BETHESDA's Todd Howard.

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf is he doing here

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He has his own presentation tonight.

[4:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: lol no applause

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil apparently invited Todd over.

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You're our friends too." - Todd to the dystopian audience

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fallout 4?

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought it was Fallout 76

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Launching today. (again)

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh.

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Big jump!

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Exclusive world premiere of Fallout 76.

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Prequel to Fallout 1.

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 4 times the size of Fallout 4.

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: West Virginia?

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Fallout 4x4?)

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: A game set in West Virginia?

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Will Don Blankenship show up?

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: rofl

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well West Virginia is a small world.

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe Don Blankenship caused the Fallout

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: With his bad work standards shit.

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "300 years after our nation began"

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, then it's still taking place several decades from now.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 2076.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hence why it's called Fallout 76.

[4:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: oh

[4:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: I like the music lol.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Me too.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Better than Kendrick Lamar.

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You're rebuilding all of America.

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: I wonder who's president in 2076.

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe it's Bobby Kennedy.

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So that'll be the most significant that West Virginia has ever been.

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Square Enix

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In 2076, Barron will be as old as his dad was when he became president.

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: DontDo Entertainment?

[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Jeff Michael's game studio?

[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming June 26th, download for free.

[4:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: This reminds me of Spiderman.

[4:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: The character

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, if this is what Square Enix is doing nowadays, then their conference will be interesting...

[4:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: This isn't a game

[4:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: That wasn't a game

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit"

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EXCLUSIVE

[4:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: Crackdown 3

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: I've never played a Crackdown.

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This has been trailering at E3s since 2016.

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: @Vortex Cannon

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Vehicle gameplay looks good.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: I'd play this.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Reminds me of Saints Row: The Third kinda.

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Xbox One and Windows 10!

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Xbox One X...ENHANCED.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nier: Autonomao

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or whatever

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Where's Wendy?)

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Short-ass trailer.

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nier Automata: some subtitle edition

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Skull and Bones

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's that Metro game that Vortex felt akin to.

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Train

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (rip)

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I forgot to take any screenshots so far, whoops.

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy is obviously Russian though.

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ludwig you should like this

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Trains

[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But I hate trains.

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Got it confused

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: You like planes.

[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Play Soviet Missile Run for great Russian voiceacting.)

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: We first saw this when Russia was actually big in news

[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So they said this whole trailer is from one level.

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: No one cares now.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Must be some big level.

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Russia = booooooooring

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: We need more games set in Australia

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: METRO EXODUS

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah boring.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Feb 22, 2019.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Wasn't something from EA's coming out then?)

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: WTF

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil Spencer returns.

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Camera pans down and Phil is just there.

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: In the audience.

Phil Spencer Xbox E3 2018 Microsoft audience crowd Lord Hot Monkey
Phil Spencer with his fake minions.

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The audience looks computer-generated.

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dude's shirt

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: "Lord Hot Monkey"

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: the fuck

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Play Best"

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Jaypan

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ala "Be Best" from Melania?

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: LEGENDARY SERIES

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: ZELDA

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER ON XBOX

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OH

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just Kingdom Hearts

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: KINGDOM HEARTS

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CLOSE ENOUGH I GUESS

[4:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Xbox gets KH footage  before Sony

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So is Kingdom Hearts gonna be at 3 different presentations?

[4:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: lol fuck Sony

[4:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Frozen girl.

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EEEK IT'S FROZEN

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ELSA

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not taking screenshots of THIS.

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Olaf the snowman.

[4:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Snow surfing

[4:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Like.

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Take this!" wtf is he trying to be Silver?

[4:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is Let it Go in this?

Rapunzel Kingdom Hearts III dress hair skirt trailer E3 2018
This is Rapunzel from Tangled... or at least her feet.


[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...probably.

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "All I ever do... is hurt people." - Elsa

[4:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was that Hercules

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hercules is still around.

[4:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Toy Story ew

[4:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: rofl

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: rip Mickey

[4:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was weird af.

Kingdom Hearts III Mickey Mouse dark void portal head
Mickey...? Are you... no, of course you're not okay.

[4:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Mickey appearing in dark void

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: January 29, 2019.

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SEA OF THIEVES

[4:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sea of Thieves for real

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 4 million players

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "15 million friends made"

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "91 million hours played"

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This woman messed up her eyeliner.

[4:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this ever gonna be in-game or is just an ad

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You tell me.

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You're the subject matter expert.

[4:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fire of Thieves

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Curse the seas" "ancient evil"

[4:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah none of that's ever gonna happen.

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cursed Sales, Forsaken Shores.

Sea of Thieves Cursed Sails Forsaken Shores DLC expansion 2018
The sales are probably going to be cursed, though.


[4:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: LOL

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: *Sails

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: whoops

[4:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was that it?

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DICE.

[4:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: No Rare on stage or anything to try and help sell it or anything.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: From yesterday.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: More Swedish stuff.

[4:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nice marketing skullfaces.

[4:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah guys we already saw that.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BATTLEFIELD V segment.

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "EXCLUSIVE WORLD PREMIERE"

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Cars

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh I thought Battlefield V would take up 10 minutes.

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: GOAT

FORZA Horizons 4 goat
Goats are inferior animals to the bovine family.


[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Got screen of goat

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Goats are good.

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Goat the animal

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Goats are lame.

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not Game Of All Time

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Forza I assume.

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I just wrote about FORZA.

[4:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: As opposed to that MMORPG racer.

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So is this FORZA... 7?

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 8?

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 6?

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I forgot.

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe it'll be 76.

[4:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Did gasoline ever become paid DLC for these games like people once predicted?

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It did for Need to Speed.

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We wrote about it.

[4:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ah

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FORZA HORIZON 4

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Do they have the on-stage car?

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SET IN BRITAIN.

[4:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Set in Beautiful Historic Britain

[4:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not France at least.

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The game features "seasons".

[4:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: What if Vortex was on stage right now.

[4:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Like seriously.

[4:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: What would we do?

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...good question.

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Shared open world."

[4:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: I wanna see a crash.

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You play with the entire community."

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Forza Battle Royale?

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "brand new 60 fps mode"

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: That's brand new?

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Should've never been brand new.

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FORZA has never been 60 frames per second before?

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How the hell did it take them all these years?

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah dumb.

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Better question: How did it sell?

[4:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Toxic 1080p-first philosophies.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: D-pad dialogue boxes.

[4:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Have we seen a single crash?

[4:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or even contact?

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe we could do the sequel to the Planet Koopa advertisement video with these.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Transition to cutscene.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WINTER

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You got a new truck!" - audience

[4:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: #Forzathon Live

[4:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mass-community cooperation event.

[4:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SPRING

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Will cars just not crash into each other?

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I forgot how they differentiated Spring and Summer in The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons.

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is there a shield bubble?

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think they had the summer be a drought.

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I dunno, but it's coming out October 2.

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Xbox Game Pass.

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil Spencer.

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah let's not show car crashes, one thing I wanted.

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: One of the best parts about Kirby Air Ride

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this the first FORZA at E3 without an on-stage car?

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fuck Forza.

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: I wouldn't remember.

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't remember cars ever being up there actually.

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Rare

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Increasing our investment in our existing franchises that you already love."

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Rare logo.

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Rare logo anyway.

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Sea of Thieves as-a-service)

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah I get excited over the Rare logo but shouldn't. >.>

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil is obviously reading off a script.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Initiative"

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is the name of a new studio in Microsoft Studios.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In Santa Monica.

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sounds like a movie, not a studio.

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Undead Labs

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They've acquired Undead Labs.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Who?)

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dead Rising?

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Zombie survival franchise"

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: yawn

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: What the fuck

[4:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: How many studios are they acquiring?

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Announce they acquired Playground Games.

[4:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: Are they just buying everyone?

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FOURTH

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NEW

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: STUDIO

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NINJA THEORY

[4:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is creepy.

[4:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: I forgot what Ninja Theory does.

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DmC

[4:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THERE'S A FIFTH

Microsoft Studios first party acquisitions E3 2018 Ninja Theory Compulsion Games Playground Initiative Undead Labs
Microsoft Studios is ramping up their presence by acquiring the industry.


[4:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Compulsion Games.

[4:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Maker of We Happy Few)

[4:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: Phil Spencer is getting pudgy btw.

[4:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: Microsoft doubled their first-parties.

[4:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought this was Bayonetta for a second.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: From 6 to 11.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Speaking of Phil getting pudgy, the trailer is about people starving.

[4:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh I remember this.

[4:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: The Mask game

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We Happy Few.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Australia refused to rate this.)

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "WHERE'S THE BLACK BOY?"

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: August 10, 2018.

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't want.

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Really?

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nah

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf

[4:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: No interest

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Playerunknown's Battlegrounds.

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Console exclusive"

[4:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this still pre-Alpha?

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Buy today in the Xbox store"

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Summer 2018"

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm getting mixed messages from the trailer and the overlay.

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Buy Now

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Winter 2018"

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Summer 2018

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Winter 2018

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: soooooo

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: which one is it

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Tales

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There was graffiti in the trailer that said Summer 2018.

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh shit

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YOO

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT'S TALES

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is that Symphonia?

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: no

[4:47 PM] RawkHawk2010: Vesperia

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TALES OF VESPERIA: Definitive Edition

Tales of Vesperia Definitive Edition Western release Xbox One
Bandai Namco isn't done, by the way.


[4:47 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Brought to the West for the first time!"

[4:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: I played the demo of the original Vesperia

[4:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: And listened to the soundtrack

[4:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: And wanted it

[4:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: But never bought it.

[4:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: :frowning:

[4:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uhh

[4:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this Metal Gear?

[4:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Washington Fell

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Something about 27 days and Washington D.C. falling apart.

[4:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Current events commentary?

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And a virus.

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "America is on the brink of collapse."

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Urban warfare.

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And they want the government to take their guns.

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "AGENTS OF THE DIVISION"

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TOM CLANCY'S THE DIVISION 2

[4:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: The Division 2

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[4:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: I keep thinking The Division 2 is out

[4:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: And released years ago.

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Another Ubisoft trailer.

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not sure if still The Division.

[4:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think it is

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it's in a rainforest.

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uhhh this is not in-game dialogue.

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think.

[4:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: Cuz there's voices that I dunno if are in-game again

[4:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: Must be The Division

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Why is there a rainforest in Washington D.C.?

[4:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: Blame Trump

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Good point.

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You guys are coming or what?"

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "MERRY CHRISTMAS"

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YEEEEEEEES

[4:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: I keep thinking the fall of America in games is anti-Trump commentary even though this has always been a thing

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THIS MUST BE POST-TRUMP

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THEY WOULDN'T SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS WITHOUT TRUMP.

[4:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe this all was the War on Christmas.

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wait why am I excited?

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That means Trump is responsible for America falling apart.

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The only president imagery is Lincoln.

Tom Clancy's The Division 2 Washington D.C. sight-seeing tour Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln has appeared several times on KoopaTV, notably this article comparing him to Mad King Ashnard.
(He was also the final boss of KoopaTV's very own flash game, Capture the Confederate Flag.)


[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm fine blaming Lincoln for America's downfall.

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We gotta get you leveled up."

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Yeah I know sorry I've been busy."

[4:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: "Don't aggro 'em."

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I guess she's underleveled.

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: People die a lot quicker than in the first Division.

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Which had all the enemies be HP sponges.

[4:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: Should @Kamek be excited over this?

[4:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He better be!

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So should @Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Microsoft has won E3 so far, though their competition is in negative points.

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (And since this'll be at Ubisoft's too...)

[4:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Fighting some invincible super-cannon enemy.

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CLOSE QUARTERS COMBAT

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Vesperia: Definitive Edition doesn't beat FighterZ in terms of token anime(ish) game.

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: If that was actually it.

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Kingdom Hearts doesn't count?

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh wait

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Forgot about that.

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: More presidency of the United States imagery.

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: wtf

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: I FORGOT ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Great idea, let's just die."

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Isn't that bad?

[4:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: It left no impression on me.

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NOO THEY'RE ENDING IT

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: March 15, 2019.

[4:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kinda bad KH3 left no impression on me.

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Head of engineering, Ashley Speicher. (Pronounced Spiker.)

[4:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ashley Speicher is hot.

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Guess I better screenshot her.

Ashley Speigher Head of Engineering Xbox Game Pass Microsoft E3 2018
Ashley Speicher is also really smart, and has been with Microsoft for a long time!


[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pervert.

[4:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: And that's a mic btw.

[4:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not a face-blemish which someone thought was somewhere last year.

[4:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably me.

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Freedom of choice"

[4:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought a mic was a swollen cheek.

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[4:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Start games twice as fast.\

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Start your games...TWICE as fast."

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Calling it "FastStart" as opposed to "Ready to Start"

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't think that's a problem.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Machine-learning techniques."

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Mid-game loading yeah.

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Launching in June update.

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Unless it means starting online matches.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Aww she had an adorable smile.

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sea of Thieves takes five minutes.

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: PERVERT.(edited)

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: >_>

[4:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: PHOENIX...

[4:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: ...POINT

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: PHOENIX

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...point.

[4:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Thought that was gonna be Wright.

[4:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Really.

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It ended in 't'.

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TOM CLANCY'S THE DIVISION (1) available on Xbox Game Pass.

[5:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: A little over half done.

[5:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: 40 minutes left.

[5:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm confused.

[5:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Let it Go is playing.

[5:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just not the Let it Go we were thinking.

[5:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How does Xbox Game Pass increase "freedom of choice" over traditional game purchases?

[5:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't have to pay.

[5:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Harder to choose games you have to pay for.

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No, it's easy to do that.

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's a difference between "freedom" and "free".

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well even if she's a socialist I guess she's still cute. <_<

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ANYWAY

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Square Enix.

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Eidos Montreal present...

[5:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Tomb Raider

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (in collaboration with Crystal Dynamics)

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf happened to her

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How was that new Tomb Raider movie?

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Lara Croft or whatever her name is apparently started some genocidal cleansing.

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "THE CROFT EDITION"

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Are all the other Tomb Raider games some other person's edition?

[5:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: Do you want Lara in Smash?

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No.

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Though she'd work well.

[5:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: A beast at ledge-hogging

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf she's a swamp monster

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Shadow of the Tomb Raider"

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: reminds me of Rise of the Planet of the Apes

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this Kendrick Lamar?

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: NO

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is actually alright.

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this Skate 3?

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or 4?

[5:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is what everyone wanted from EA yesterday.

[5:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: NOPE

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Session."

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Period is part of the title.)

[5:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: EA screwed again.

[5:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Assassin's Creed?

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No.

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Black Desert"

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uh

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wendy is literally playing it right now.

Black Desert Xbox One Microsoft E3 2018 online
On the left, you can see our Discord server member list. (Note what Wendy is playing.)


[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: @Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy

[5:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Still say this is Assassin's Creed

[5:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ehh nevermind.

[5:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Almost no applause.

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this Zelda?

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It had the Zelda piano.

[5:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Smoke Smoke Smoke that Cigarette

[5:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CAPCOM

[5:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: CAPCPOM

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Resident Evil surely.

[5:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DEVIL MAY CRY

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wait

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: DmC 2?

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Holy shit

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wonder how Kamiya's gionna react

[5:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Aren't DmC and Bayonetta the same thing?)

[5:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yes they are.

[5:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wait

[5:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Devil May Cry 5

[5:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Devil May Cry  5?

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Spring 2019.

[5:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: They're attaching the number back onto a reboot?

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hideaki Itsuno and Matthew Walker from CAPCOM.

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Walking on stage.

[5:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: The last one was DmC: Devil May Cry

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A NON-MICROSOFT SPEAKER

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I WAIT FOR YEARS FOR THIS!"

CAPCOM Hideaki Itsuno director Devil May Cry 5 Xbox One Microsoft E3 2018
This really is the return of Devil May Cry, despite Rawk's disbelief. The original series. Not the reboot.


[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "DMC IS BACK!"

[5:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: This Dante looks like Milo.

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "ENGLISH IS HARD! Matt, you do it."

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Fans have been asking for a true sequel."

[5:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: I wouldn't trust Matt Walker with Ace Attorney.

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Crap this is CAPCOM's big announcement instead of Ace Attorney.

[5:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks up to no good.

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Gathered the best minds at CAPCOM."

[5:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: I'm still weirded out that this is called Devil May Cry 5.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well it's an actual sequel to DMC4.

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: It is?

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (All capital acronym.)

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well I mean that's what they're saying.

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks like a sequel to DcM

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: DmC*

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They said the series has been dead for a decade.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Until now.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cuphead DLC.

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh weird

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So wot's this?

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Super Lucky Tale?

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...oh yeah.

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But that's out.

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or the other Fox game.

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: There were two Fox games last E3.

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Must be the other.

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Probably the other.

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This one is all isometric and not a platformer.

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a 2D Zelda.

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: Do we like isometrey?

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With rolls and swords.

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uhhhh

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Tunic"

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The game is called Tunic.

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: Tiny Fox in a Big World

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: - Phil Spencer

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nova Scotia dev

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: @Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy that's you

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is he ending the show?

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: If so 100 minutes was Fake News.

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "for the rest of our briefing"

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Will be world premiere games.

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well shit he's acting like it's just beginning.

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Bandai Namco

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: STARTING OFF WITH ENTIRELY NEW

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FROM BANDAI NAMCO

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Thought he was gonna say "BANjo"

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was that Frieza's ship?

Jump Force Frieza's Ship Dragon Ball crashed
Frieza's ship...?


[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's like he just invalidated the show before this point.

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: WTF

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: WHAT IF

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: IT WAS

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...........

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: wHAT THE FICK

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: OTY RERA::U WAS

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Aren't these anime dudes

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[5:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "JUMP FORCE"

Jump Force logo Bandai Namco anime One Piece Dragon Ball Naruto Xbox One Microsoft E3 2018
JUMP FORCE! What is Jump Force, exactly? We dunno yet.


[5:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: Death Note?!

[5:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: The fuck was that.

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How's that for token anime?

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: It got no appaluse olololo

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: I'm more uhhh, just surprised than elated, lol.

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: World premiere post-apocalypse game.

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: We have no idea what that even was really.

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring thugs with axes.

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "YOUR CHOICES

YOUR WORLD"

[5:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: But when I asked "Was that Frieza's ship?" I thought I was just being stupid.

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Dying Light 2"

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Please welcome Chris Avellone, a narrative designer.

[5:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Also

[5:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Two fox games at this MS E3 as well.

[5:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Tunic and the Nine-Tailed Fox in Jump Force.

[5:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: hmmm

[5:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Star Fox Tuesday? :phoenix_thinking:

[5:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Fox'll win the Smash tournament.

[5:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well Fox will def be there, yes.

[5:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Forgot about that.

[5:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reminder that Fox won the "fan bracket" thing in the Smash 2014 Invitational.

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: No interest in this.

[5:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "NEGOTIATIONS ARE OVER!" - Dying Light 2 option

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just sounds like Mass Effect.

[5:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: rip Singapore negotiation

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just not in space.

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: "So if you get on their bad side......."

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: * doesn't finish *

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Seems like the game is heavy into hundreds of timeline-branching decisions.

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ludwig you shouldn't like this

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: You like linearity.

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: This has "hundreds of decisions."

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh there's zombies at night, just thrown at the end.

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: What is this

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EXCLUSIVE WORLD PREMIERE from Microsoft Studios

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: That font is comic sans

Xbox Microsoft E3 2018 comic sans You always knew this day would come Battletoads
“YOU ALWAYS KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME...”


[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Banjo?

[5:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Banjo

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You always knew the THREE of you would be needed again"

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Wait, what?"

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf vehicle

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Battletoads

[5:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: HAT

[5:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: WHAT

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BATTLETOADS

[5:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: NON-SPECIFIC ACTION TOADS

Battletoads on Xbox One with broad non-specific feature declarations
PLUS! Broad NON-SPECIFIC Feature Declarations!


[5:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: .......

[5:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: that was it

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: dude

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was totally Banjo font. >.>

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Literally!

[5:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hey, you wanted a new Battletoads.

[5:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We were just talking about it!

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Hey I didn't say that.

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: I said one was likely I just thought.

[5:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or I said Battletoads NES was the one IP-starting NES game that aged well or whatever

[5:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah.

[5:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just Cause 4

[5:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This would be the 28th anniversary of Battletoads by the way.

[5:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ANOTHER MICROSOFT STUDIOS

[5:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well that ain't Banjo.

[5:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: I always thought Just Cause was "Just 'Cuz"

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: CHIBI GEARS OF WAR

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Da fuq

[5:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's kinda cute.

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: LOL

[5:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Gears POP!" for mobile

[5:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: nevermind I take that back.

[5:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT'S NOT CUTE.

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Very muted fan reaction

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Now this guy has to get people excited

[5:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Rod Fergusson from "The Coalition"

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is it mobile?

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh wait

[5:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: No

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wait, there's "The Coalition" and "The Initiative"?

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Gears POP is mobile.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Unique mobile spin to the world of gears"

[5:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: oh

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's also now "Gears Tactics" on the PC.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In a completely new genre.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Turn-based strategy genre.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So maybe they got inspired by the Rabbids game.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy is still here?

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "New experiences"

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Gears 5"

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Imagine Gears + Rabbids

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Three different Gears games.

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dude

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So they announce a mobile spin-off, a turn-based strategy spin-off, and then mainline Gears.

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YO

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just hit me

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: POKéMON DID THAT

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IN THAT ORDER

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is David Wise doing the new Battletoads' soundtrack?

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With Pokémon Quest, Pokémon Let's Go, and Gen 8.

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uhh...maybe?

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: That means he's back with MS.

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Which is uhhh

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: gonna piss some people off.

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is Cole Train still alive?

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is that him?

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought Cole was in that other game.

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With that sparky guy.

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: This isn't the same dudes?

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Cole Train is the token black Gears guy.

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: inFAMOUS

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cole MacGrath.

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, Cole Train is in Gears of War.

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Jin will notice?

[5:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The fifth game and fourth main installment, Gears of War 4, was announced at E3 2015 on June 15. More updates would be revealed later from the developers. The new installment occurs 25 years after Imulsion Countermeasures, and focus on JD Fenix, the son of the Marcus Fenix." - Gears of War Wikipedia page

[5:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uhhh something seems missing there.

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is the opposite of fanservice.

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: With all that bulky armor

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Hard to get used to after Xenoblade Chronicles 2!

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: (...Not talking about Cole Train.)

[5:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: :neutral_face:

[5:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HANDS UP

[5:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DON'T SHOOT

Gears 5 Cole Train hands up don't shoot black man
"HOLD YOUR FIRE! THIS MAN... is black."


[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Gears 5

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not Gears of War 5

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: See

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: What if Tuesday it's "Smash 5"?

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Phil Spencer returns, talking about "the entire history of Xbox" "the entire history of E3" and "the entire history of our industry"

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Gaming is more vibrant."

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe there's a "here's a last one" and it's something good.

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Most diverse gaming portfolio."

[5:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Microsoft AI to come.

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And cloud engineering for console-quality game streaming on any device.

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sooooo

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: Including Switch? >.>

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...no.

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: They said any device. :frowning:

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They are "deep" in research for the next Xbox console.

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Xbox Two?)

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And they're committed to more first party studio acquisitions.

[5:38 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: eh what

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You will always experience the best in gaming on Xbox."

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can see his transcript on the screen.

[5:38 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: (by the way that's a lie)

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Thanks, and have a great...?"

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: rip

[5:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kim Jong Un?

[5:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HAX

Microsoft Xbox E3 2018 hacked
HAX.


[5:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is it that hack game

[5:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: You know the one

[5:39 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Hacknet?

[5:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: 2077

[5:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Metro Map.

[5:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Instead of 2076?

[5:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Worst city to live in America.

[5:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: CD Projekt Red presents...

[5:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Flint

[5:40 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: oh Watch Dogs?

[5:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: yeah

[5:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yo where have you been?

[5:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They even announced Black Desert.

[5:40 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: I like my naps.

[5:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NAP?!?

[5:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We got content to produce here!

[5:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Cyberpunk"

[5:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: #Cyberpunk2077

[5:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: What is it with the fucking 2070s?

[5:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So yeah, as opposed to Fallout 2076.

[5:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: When the fuck have we heard of those before this year?

[5:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: Random.

[5:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now the end-of-conference montage.

[5:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: 2050s maybe.

[5:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Will Phil Spencer ever finish his sentence?

[5:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well not even those

[5:41 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: hmm so I just saw Ori and the Blind Forest?

[5:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: More like 3000

[5:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Will  Battletoads be in the montage?

[5:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...no.

[5:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: Logo maybe

[5:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: END

[5:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: @Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy Black Desert was there.

[5:43 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: oh

[5:43 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: on Xbox?

[5:43 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Interesting.

[5:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah.

[5:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Console launch exclusive"

[5:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well

[5:43 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: There is controller support but I've never tried it.

[5:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well.

[5:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Microsoft's looking pretty convincing.

[5:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: https://www.dlalastudios.com/

[5:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: ^ Battletoads developer

[5:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh hey they're next to Rare.

[5:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And by "next to" I mean

[5:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Two hours drive.

[5:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're definitely trying to control the UK, though.

[5:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hmmmmm...

[5:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well

[5:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: So uhhh

[5:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I've noticed the most interesting stuff are the games with no gameplay.

[5:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: That Jump Start game or whatever looked weird

[5:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Jump Force*

[5:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Jump Force, Battletoads)

[5:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: At one point Luffy swings on a flag pole holding an American flag

[5:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: So where the hell is that, NgoaYC?

[5:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: And Frieza crash-landed there?

[5:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: And then Light and Ryuk from Death Note are at the end because why not.

[5:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: Jareditton wants it.

[5:52 PM] RawkHawk2010: https://twitter.com/Baffan/status/1005916249296113676

[5:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Thanks for nothing, Europe.)



In two and a half hours from publishing is the next E3 conference. Stay tuned for... Bethesda! (Yes, these logs take a long time to put together.)


Check out last year's Microsoft E3 2017 log!
The conference before this was done by an incompetent company.
Here's Bethesda!
Here is next year's Microsoft E3 2019 log.

6 comments :

  1. I can't handle Aquanort. T_T

    Super excited for Vesperia, although I've got an unplayed copy for the 360.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly, I thought of you when they showed Tales of Vesperia.

      Delete
    2. Not surprising, since I'm a JRPG nut and a Tales fan.

      Delete
    3. You should be a little more flattered than that.

      Delete
  2. I was hoping for your reaction on the Spyro live demo.

    Also seeing Kingdom Hearts fans who are also Frozen Haters are giving me so much joy in their pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, you see our schedule. If it's not on a conference or Nintendo Treehouse Live, we probably won't cover it.
      That includes random YouTube Gaming streams.
      Spyro wasn't in the conference, so, yeah.

      Kingdom Hearts continues (in a straight line) with Square Enix's presentation.

      Delete

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