KoopaTV's Ubisoft E3 2018 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Polarising French guys.

We never know quite what to expect when we're watching an Ubisoft E3 conference. They're the most volatile. It's very exciting and dynamic to spectate, and we're going to go through this 92 minute journey with you.

In this log we still have me, we still have Rawk, that Mariosun90 dude who isn't even our staff is here as Ryu, and Wendy took some time from her busy beauty nap to talk as well!

As is a common theme, the KoopaTV E3 Weeks 2018 Schedule is a great page to keep track of the flurry of content.

[3:54 PM] RawkHawk2010: Trying to get Tails to pick up Sonic and fly? Physically painful after you attempt it for the tenth time and it doesn't work.

[3:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Here's a list of what I want from Ubisoft.

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: * The Division 2

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's it.

[3:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Bonus stages are just eye-straining.

[3:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dizzy-ing.ht

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...oh no oh no oh no

[3:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're gonna have that Beyonce thing Peach Rabbid at this aren't they?

[3:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Note that Donkey Kong will likely be here.

[3:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: Hope to god not.

[3:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't wanna see Watch Dog.

[3:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Can The Division 2 be on Switch?

[3:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's actually some edutainment game on the Switch eShop.

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: https://www.facebook.com/kendricklamar/posts/218065454979757

[3:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: For Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, and Division.

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kendrick Lamar may be here.

[3:58 PM] Ryu: I can't wait for more Just Dance

[3:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're each $15 or something.

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: ...Oh wait.

[3:58 PM] Ryu: I hope they bring a full crew of dancers

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was 2012.

[3:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm tempted to buy the Division one.

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: nvm

[3:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Why are you searching Kendrick Lamar's archives?

[3:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Lamarchives?)

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: I searched Kendrick Lamar to see if he'd have anything to do with Ubisoft.

[3:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (LamARMS)

[3:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: Particularly Just Dance.

[3:59 PM] Ryu: oh right, maybe we'll see South Park again

[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's coming out on Switch.

[3:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fuck South Park honestly.

[3:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: South Park is overrated.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: UBISOFT BEGINNING

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: On time.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RP to Mature.

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Stage.

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: No Aisha.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Looks ready for dancing.

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was Aisha here last time?

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Aisha was not in 2017.

[4:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah she quit.

[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "More interesting than a keychain."

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: To become a perfume saleswoman or something

[4:01 PM] Ryu: Girl looks like she's about to cry(edited)

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Purple highlights.

[4:01 PM] Ryu: I got my dual screen ready this time

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Didn't see a Rabbid during that preview.

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: I

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...

[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wot's that?

[4:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Panda.

[4:02 PM] Ryu: Now, that's Just Dance

[4:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Reminds me of the olympics.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, at least it's not a Rabbid.

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YAMAHA advertisement.

[4:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this music Russian?

[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...no.

[4:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: It was.

[4:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not now.

[4:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Now it's Spanish.

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf is that

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Am Inkling?

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: *An

[4:03 PM] Ryu: I never thought there would be a panda on stage at E3

[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Just Dance flags.

[4:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: A Panda has been here before.

[4:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: Same context.

[4:04 PM] Ryu: I'm glad I got my crew of dancers

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I really like this music.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's like something from Rhythm Heaven.

[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Better than Square Enix already!

[4:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is already above EA.

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: But it's basically an olympics opening ceremony log.

Finishing pose for the panda. Buy Just Dance 2019?

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I mean, that's fine.

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Be on the lookout for Cappy.

[4:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably won't be at Sony's after all.

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That was a The Game Awards thing.

[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Skull & Bones.

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (aka not Sea of Thieves)

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nevermind it's space.

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is Skull & Bones?

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...maybe?

[4:06 PM] Ryu: Beyond good and evil 2

[4:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looked like it was in space.

[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Half the crew is dead drunk"

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh yeah, I forgot about Beyond Good and Evil 2.

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Thought this game was out.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: When did we last see that?

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: I keep thinking all these games released.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: E3 2017.

[4:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: I remember a cussing monkey.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There he is.

[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Was the dance performance this year shorter than years past?

[4:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yes

[4:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: One year we didn't know when it'd end.

[4:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: And thought it'd be the whole conference.

[4:08 PM] Ryu: Is this game actually a movie?

[4:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I wonder if people criticised Ubisoft and they acquiesced to fan complaints.

[4:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mistake!

[4:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Have we seen any gameplay from this game?

[4:08 PM] Ryu: no

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Going with no.

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's been over ten years.

[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Angry Jade.

Hi Jade. What's up? You don't know who we are, but we're good guys. ...Stop looking at us like that.

[4:09 PM] Ryu: Protagonist from the first game is evil

[4:09 PM] Ryu: or something

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought we already saw Jade.

[4:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe that was someone else.

[4:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I was worried the developer name captions would only be sideways.

[4:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Guillame Brunier has a manbun.

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this a prequel.

[4:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Fans will have recognised a ferocious, young Jade."

[4:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: They're introducing the pig like we've never seen him.

[4:11 PM] Ryu: it is

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Prequel"

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't understand Manbun dude's speech.

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He doesn't look like he understands it, either.

[4:11 PM] Ryu: I can understand it

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pre-alpha gameplay footage.

[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT'S STILL IN PRE-ALPHA

[4:12 PM] Ryu: Finally some gameplay

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Action-adventure RPG you can play alone or in co-op.

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Looks like Anthem but better.

[4:12 PM] Ryu: The first game was loved

[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Yeah, let's go." walks to the centre of the stage from the side

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're soliciting fan-made content.

[4:13 PM] Ryu: "Make the game for us"

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: KoopaTV?

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: We make content.

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: KOOPATV BILLBOARD OPPORTUNITY

Remind us after E3 to contribute art there. I'm serious.

[4:13 PM] Ryu: Why not

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Also here's that guy from My Wife and Kids

[4:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wait no

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: How I Met Your Mother

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Hit Record company.

[4:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: My Wife and Kids was the Wayan Brother

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or... HitRecord.

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HitRecord

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Point is to collaborate.

[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Making visual assets and songs together.

Asking for writers and artists and stuff.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ways we can contribute.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: bgegame.com hitrecord.org

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THEY'RE A .ORG SITE

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I trust them.

[4:15 PM] Ryu: he said the s word on stage

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Go do that shit! ...Thanks."

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's not the most compelling call-to-action.

[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe we can finally have KoopaTV Radio.

[4:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: I don't trust 'em.

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: You trust a manbun?

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ubisoft or HitRecord?

[4:16 PM] Ryu: That was a fun 20 seconds of gameplay

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Neither!

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We nailed it! We nailed it!" - the presenters off-screen on camera

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: *on-mic

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dude

[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Justin Kruger talking with his hands about Rainbow Six Siege.

[4:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: The Beyond Good and Evil plan is like...

[4:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: ...the JonTron Effect x100000000000

[4:17 PM] Ryu: Siege, that was the game I thought was the Division 2 yesterday

[4:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Though theoretically everything is easily-removed.

[4:17 PM] Ryu: I was very confused

[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't care about this game; gimme Division.

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently they're starting an eSports league around this.

[4:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: Brazil.

[4:18 PM] Ryu: People are hyped for Brazil?

[4:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: No one wants to go to Brazil.

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Taking us to Brazil in November. YEAH, BRAZIL!"

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm still scarred from Rio.

[4:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: Isn't Brazil a hellhole?

[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Gave me Zika.

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: And Ryan Lochte for sure won't be going back.

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Scary place.(edited)

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.koopatv.org/2016/05/how-team-koopa-escaped-rio-table-of-contents.html

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I had to escape from Rio.

[4:19 PM] Ryu: Promoting Esports on their presentation

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Don't wanna go back!

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: That dude sounded like Craig Duncan.

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And it's not just Brazil... the first cup is in PARIS.

[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With Benjamin Hunter!

[4:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Another manbun.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Manbuns in games and out.

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Their eSports world tour not only tests your gaming ability, but your survival skills in the face of deadly environments.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well that may have not been in a game.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was that a game?

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh.

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Thought it was FMV

[4:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: what is this

[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uhhhh

[4:21 PM] Ryu: I liked those bike games when I was younger(edited)

You liked the bike games until this happened.

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: plz tell me that wasn't scripted

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHHH

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Did you screenshot that?

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: What if that wasn't planned?

[4:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think so

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I screenshotted him on his motorcycle?

This is Antti Ilvessuo. He is not the prime minister of Finland, but he works at RedLynx.

[4:21 PM] Ryu: That's quite the accent

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Antti Ilvessuou

[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He's prime minister of Finland.

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well that was fucking weird.

[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_Minister_of_Finland

[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Nevermind that's fake news.

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: I've been asking for someone to fall on stage at E3 for years, just so y'all know.

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: That technically counted.

[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, guess it's beating Bethesda.

[4:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh, this game is about crashing.

[4:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Makes sense.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You wanted crashes in the FORZA demo.

[4:23 PM] Ryu: Obstacle course with a bike

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now Ubisoft is making it up.TRIALS RISING

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cleaning crew for the broken stand.

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Broadcast team"

[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Where's @Kamek and his production team getting fired commentary?

[4:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: So world leaders are at all kinds of events right now

[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Professor FatShady coming to the stage.

[4:24 PM] Ryu: "We made a mess"

[4:24 PM] Ryu: You mean the game?

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WTF

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: KIM JONG UN IS THE CAMERAMAN

[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ......or a lookalike.

[4:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: I didn't catch that.

[4:26 PM] Ryu: Switch

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NINTENDO SWITCH

Trials Rising releasing February 2019 on all consoles and PC! (Really, all three.)

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: February 2019.

[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I thought he said February 29, aka never coming out)

[4:26 PM] Ryu: we nailed it!

[4:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: ludwig lol

[4:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: I'd play this.

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well this whole montage involves crashes.

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So you should be enjoying it.

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: rip dat electric fene

[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: *fence

[4:27 PM] Ryu: Is it me or people like to use that music for destruction?

[4:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think you're right.

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HERE WE GO

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DIVISION 2

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TOM CLANCY'S THE DIVISION 2

Julian Gerighty.

[4:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: My attention is divided.

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: punk FOCUS ON DIVISION

[4:28 PM] Ryu: Why is he pausing? Does he think he's Reggie?

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Black Friday plague (Division 1 plot)

[4:28 PM] Ryu: even the hand gesture

[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Virus burnt itself out, but Washington D.C. is civil warring.

[4:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: He's making it sound like this is also applying to real life.

[4:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: He knows exactly what he's doing!

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A Massive Entertainment Production.

[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring grass and crayons and a girl named Abigail.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And paper PLANES.

[4:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: I forgot paper airplanes existed.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I never wrote about paper airplanes in my pro-plane propaganda.

[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're a net plus.

[4:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: More dominatri

[4:30 PM] Ryu: More femdom

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Black family literally hiding in the shadows.

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TRUMP'S AMERICA

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Black?

[4:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looked white, just covered in smut.

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Single mom and her kid.

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Well, maybe.

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BLACKFACE

[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IN TRUMP'S AMERICA

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Paper airplane "help"

[4:32 PM] Ryu: The girl is indirectly saving the world

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Three heroes overlooking a giant cemetery.

[4:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Who was Tom Clancy before The Division?

[4:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A writer.

[4:33 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: also dead

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: rip

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HI WENDY

[4:33 PM] Ryu: Rainbow Six, Splinter Cell

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: STICK AROUND AND WATCH

[4:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: There was a Tom Clancy's game before The Division though.

[4:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[4:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah

[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There were several Tom Clancy games before The Division.

[4:33 PM] Ryu: He really does think he's Reggie

[4:34 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Rainbow Six Siege? :stuck_out_tongue:

[4:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: This conference got dull quick.

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You pick specialised weaponry.

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...'kay...

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Skill trees...

[4:34 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: huh specializations

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Excited to announce teamwork

[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EIGHT PLAYER CO-OP

[4:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Raids.

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Raids are coming to THE DIVISION 2."

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Didn't Raids get old 6 or 7 years ago?

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: All that's up on the screen is the word RAIDS.

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Years of frequent content updates."

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought people got over raids after Gears of War 2 or something.

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Three DLC episodes.

[4:35 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: feels like this might turn into Destiny 2

[4:35 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Not convinced so far, even though I played the first one.

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: first 100% free

[4:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Completely free...FOR EVERYONE."

Completely free Year One DLC, with three episodes.

[4:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: now completely free

[4:35 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: and what they  have right now is pretty good.

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Where's my DIVISION team?"

[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He blew a kiss wtf.

[4:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: free has become the word fat

[4:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: now it needs qualifers to mean anything

[4:36 PM] Ryu: so it's over?

[4:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: completely free, morbidly fat, etc.

[4:36 PM] Ryu: There's no Assassin's Creed

[4:36 PM] Ryu: it's not over

[4:36 PM] Ryu: no way

[4:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Lincoln quote.

[4:37 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: They will be an Assassin's creed

[4:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: What's that Spear Pillar called?

[4:37 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: It's been actualy been leaked by accident.

[4:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Don't remember if this is the same trailer as Microsoft's.

[4:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: Rabbids may just be at Nintendo's.

[4:38 PM] Ryu: It isn't

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Props to Ubisoft. (Boo Square Enix)

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: March 15, 2019 still.

[4:38 PM] Ryu: All those 2019 games

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's 2019, but

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NO

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RABBID

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RAWK

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YOU SCREWED IT UP

[4:38 PM] Ryu: lol

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RABBIDS LITERALLY NOW

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: DK Island

[4:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

[4:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or Rabbids DK Island.

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HE HAS A RABBIDS PEACH PIN

Xavier Manzanares, Rabbid Peach pin.

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ewwwwwwwwwwww

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is Rabbid Peach the main character now?\

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think she is.

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cherish and love Donkey Kong.

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is weird

[4:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is all about Donkey Kong BUT ITS NOT POSITIVE

[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Grant Kirkhope and band.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Live performance.

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is surreal.

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's so not good!

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Performed by Critical Hit"

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Someone's apologizing.

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not scripted.

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RAWK YOU'VE BEEN SQUAWKING ABOUT DONKEY KONG FOR OVER A DECADE

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: DK Arcade

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DONKEY KONG NOW AT UBISOFT

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: wtf

[4:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: RAP

[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DONKEY KONG RAP

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AT UBISOFT CONFERENCE

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Interrupted by Rabbid Peach.

[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So is she the hero or what?

[4:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: banana

[4:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not-Squawks

[4:41 PM] Ryu: then you forget it's a xcom game

Smug bird. Doesn't have to trip over bananas.

[4:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: This music is ADD so far

[4:42 PM] Ryu: ADD?

[4:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a medley.

[4:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah not good

[4:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: Melodies changing this quick, bad

[4:42 PM] Ryu: yeah, it's all over the place

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BONGOS

[4:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: No K. Rool.

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Donkey Kong Adventure available June 26; June 25 for season pass suckers.

[4:43 PM] Ryu: was the old rabbid in the original game?

[4:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: No

[4:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Cranky Rabbid? No.

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: DK Island playing

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is the conference over?

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Does this improve Ubisoft's tier list or decrease it?

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[4:44 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: no lol

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was weird.

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Skull & Bones now?

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Why start playing that.

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Okay well

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ubisoft Singapore.

[4:44 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: hmm I think I heard Creepy Castle somewhere...

[4:44 PM] Ryu: aha

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "PIRACY IS DEAD"

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: DK Rap is confirmed in some capacity.

[4:44 PM] Ryu: Piracy is dead

[4:44 PM] Ryu: Good one Ubisoft

[4:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was the only news.

[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Good.

[4:44 PM] Ryu: Indirect message

[4:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ship on fire

[4:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sea of Thieves

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "LONG LIVE PIRACY"

[4:45 PM] Ryu: Oh, now they're encouraging us to pirate

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mixed messages?

[4:45 PM] Ryu: so is this AC?

[4:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sea of Thieves has no more monopoly on burning ships.

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's Skull & Bones.

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A sort of Assassin's Creed gameplay spin-off.

[4:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think.

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Why is the voice coming through just one headphone

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought that was just me!

[4:46 PM] Ryu: it's a retro feeling

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: lmao

[4:46 PM] Ryu: my right ear hurts

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They keep saying dog-eat-dog world.

[4:46 PM] RawkHawk2010: Trailer is bad on principle.

[4:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Wolves... hunt in packs."

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Scarfboy.

[4:47 PM] RawkHawk2010: Voice is back in both ears.

[4:47 PM] Ryu: I guess they're keeping AC for the end

[4:47 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: oh this one I've been waiting for

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Justin Farren.

[4:47 PM] RawkHawk2010: Indian Ocean

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Piracy is dead in the Caribbean, but piracy lives on in the Indian Ocean.

[4:47 PM] Ryu: he said the f word

[4:47 PM] RawkHawk2010: Isn't that the least significant of the seven seas?

[4:47 PM] Ryu: D:

[4:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You're gonna steal ever last fuckin' coin."

"YEAAAAAAAH!!!" - audience

[4:48 PM] Ryu: I'm going to pirate this game

[4:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well they're encouraging thieving.

[4:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: In this game, fortune tellers are always right.

[4:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Both headphone sides for the next Skull and Bones trailer.

[4:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks better than Sea of Thieves.

[4:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Characters don't appear to be Fake News.

[4:49 PM] Ryu: Narrator is dual audio now

[4:49 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: I'm sure it's based on the AC3/AC4 sailing mechanics

[4:49 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: I'm super excited for this game

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It explicitly is based on those.

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: At least as of a year ago.

[4:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: "LET'S FOOL THESE BLACK GUYS!"

[4:50 PM] Ryu: Historically accurate

[4:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "PORTUGUESE MERCHANT AND ESCORT!"

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh I thought that was blood.

[4:51 PM] Ryu: was there an ugly patch of blood on that water?

[4:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it was red for targeting.

[4:51 PM] Ryu: I hope it was the targeting

[4:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: I don't like how someone shot a cannonball into a huge pile of blood and then it's just all gone

[4:52 PM] RawkHawk2010: If that's a targeting cursor then bad color.

[4:52 PM] Ryu: it was dark red

[4:52 PM] Ryu: lol

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Even worse, you could lose your loot."

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How about your life?

[4:52 PM] RawkHawk2010: Make it green.

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The sea is green-blue.

[4:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Make it yellow.

[4:52 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: nah bad AoEs shjould stay red

[4:53 PM] Ryu: it wasn't bright red though

[4:53 PM] Ryu: But can they explore for treasures?

[4:54 PM] Ryu: Or is it just ship warfare?

Here's some ship warfare.

[4:54 PM] RawkHawk2010: does this have a story

[4:54 PM] RawkHawk2010: "there is no honor among thieves"

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Tell the Sea of Thieves moralists that.

[4:55 PM] Ryu: awkward silence

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "lights on" whisper.

[4:55 PM] Ryu: The Hobbit is on stage

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Elijah Wood

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wait

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf is he doing there

[4:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: It really is

[4:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Transference VR.

[4:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: GO BACK TO MIDDLE EARTH

[4:56 PM] Ryu: No

[4:56 PM] RawkHawk2010: He's talking about Psyche Locks

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "...No..."

[4:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Psychological horror in VR.

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sounds very sickly.

[4:57 PM] Ryu: should I lower the sound?

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Good idea.

[4:57 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: dead

[4:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: rip Wendy

[4:58 PM] Ryu: crazy dad

[4:58 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: more ded

[4:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: No interest.

[4:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "ESCAPE A CORRUPTED MIND" (Dad's?)

[4:58 PM] Ryu: That's not AC

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now a trailer for a guy who can't cut his nails.

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I actually feel kinda queasy after Transference.

[4:59 PM] Ryu: It's like that spaceship game

[4:59 PM] Ryu: but with a story

[4:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No Man's Sky?

[4:59 PM] Ryu: yes

[4:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Amiibo

[5:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wait I think we saw this once.

[5:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: You use toys to power up your ship.

[5:00 PM] Ryu: ok, too many guns for it to be NMS

[5:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "STARLINK Battle for Atlas"

[5:00 PM] Ryu: oh yeah, that game is on Switch

[5:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Available on Nintendo Switch.

[5:00 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: ehhh this is gonna be too expensive

[5:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is Starlink what y'all thought sounded similar to Starfield?

[5:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "DIRECTLY into your hands"

[5:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Smiles and Gears

[5:02 PM] Ryu: Star Fox sound

[5:02 PM] Ryu: here we go

[5:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: wtf

[5:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: WHAT

[5:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: THE

[5:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: FUCK

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHATRKFNYRNHYTGNUR5HJNFGOVNHR5

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHAT THE FUCK

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION

[5:02 PM] Ryu: Now people are hyped?

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AND NOW THERE'S FOX MCCLOUD

[5:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Star Fox SNES music.

[5:02 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: wat

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I THOUGHT THIS WAS FOR STARLINK

[5:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NOT STAR FOX

All of a sudden, it's an Arwing.

[5:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Does this deconfirm Star Fox Grand Prix?

[5:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or make it more likely?

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT'S YVES GUILLEMOT

[5:03 PM] Ryu: Not really

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They brought out Ubisoft's CEO

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHAT THE HELL

[5:03 PM] Ryu: RIP

[5:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THE VIDEO CUT OUT

[5:03 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: wat

[5:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: This content is probably advertising Grand Prix.

[5:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Absolutely.

[5:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: Must be.

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[5:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: Miyamoto?

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: MR. MIYAMOTO

[5:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: This shit is THAT important?

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW

[5:04 PM] Ryu: First appearance of Miyamoto at E3 this year

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ON UBISOFT

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol guy with a Star Wars shirt

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not Starlink, not Star Fox.

[5:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHHH

[5:04 PM] Ryu: is that an amiibo?

[5:04 PM] Ryu: "Très bien"

[5:05 PM] Ryu: Miyamoto speaks French

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably expensive as shit.

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Miyamoto's eyes are of the same thickness as his wrinkles.

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably weighs three potatos.

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well Ryu called it.

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wait, he came here just to get a toy?

Miyamoto receiving a prototype Arwing and Fox McCloud figure.

[5:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: He pointed out Star Fox noise.

[5:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "All consoles, October 16. Star Fox as an exclusive Nintendo Switch experience."

[5:06 PM] Ryu: Guys! Miyamoto!

[5:06 PM] Ryu: Buy our game

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now they're sacrificing "For Honor".

[5:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was that the biggest surprise of E3 so far?

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: To come after.

[5:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think so by far.

[5:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That, then what, Battletoads?

[5:06 PM] Ryu: For Honor

[5:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Either that or Frieza's ship being Frieza's ship.

[5:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kinda short-lived.

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wait, so, I wasn't paying attention.

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What kind of game is StarLink?

[5:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Space game

[5:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Yeah I figured that out.

[5:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dunno what else.

[5:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: They didn't do a good job of explaining.

[5:07 PM] Ryu: You explore space and shoot things

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Do you land on planets?

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Like No Man's Sky?

[5:08 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: That shirt is a bit too big for him

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or do you just shoot stuff like in Star Fox?

[5:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh shit

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought the audience member was screaming.

[5:08 PM] Ryu: If they told you, you wouldn't buy it

[5:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought the first bit of screaming was som-

[5:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it was an in-character dude.

[5:08 PM] Ryu: They have Star Fox though

[5:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah Ludwig, lol

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: I was like, "this is the most enthused audience member at E3 ever"

[5:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Lion in the clouds.

[5:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Remember when people saw Ridley in the clouds for that Subspace Emissary pic in the DOJO!!?

[5:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: This scene is apparently big.

[5:10 PM] Ryu: Dynasty Warriors join For Honor?

[5:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Like it's character cameos or something.

[5:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "For Honor Marching Fire"

[5:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah I guess.

[5:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Civil War consumed CHINA.

[5:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy is trying to talk like he's Chinese.

[5:10 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: ok Chinese fighters?

[5:11 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: That's hype.

[5:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But he's just a white boy in a big shirt.

[5:11 PM] Ryu: When will For Honor be on Switch?

[5:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: btw despite Star Fox Zero being shit Fox's modern design is his best.

[5:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: Can't look much better.

[5:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: Hopefully he's like that in Smash.

[5:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: Should be.

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They got a dude in a hoodie being killed; thought it was an Assassin's Creeder.

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or Templar or wotever.

[5:12 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Assassin?

[5:12 PM] Ryu: It's still For Honor

[5:12 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: That's a lady

[5:12 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: Nice execution though.

[5:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No, the person being killed.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The killer is a lady.

[5:13 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: yeah, the person who got killed was a  woman.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...They're BOTH women?

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Cars

[5:13 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: yep

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: The Crew 2

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THE CREW 2

[5:13 PM] Ryu: I can't type

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought this came out.

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Me too

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Delphine Dosset" in Ubisoft Ivory Tower.

[5:13 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: needs more explanation videos

[5:13 PM] Ryu: But do they have seasons?

[5:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think half the games shown at these conferences already came out.

[5:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She's breathing into the mic.

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC.

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She went out of her way to name consoles but not Switch.

[5:14 PM] Ryu: We already had this with Forza

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And she was all talking slowly trying to build hype.

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Boats

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: So Diddy Kong Racing 4K?

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[5:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (On cue, black dude)

(I'm not implying that the black pilot is equivalent to a monkey...)

[5:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Planes aren't new.

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: CRASH

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: Erm

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: CONTACT

[5:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: Bike touched a plane.

[5:15 PM] Ryu: Red Bull advertisement

[5:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Xbox One, Xbox One X, PS4, PS4 Pro, PC

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They had different logos for all of those.

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think I think everything already came out cuz of alphas/betas.

[5:16 PM] Ryu: The Crew 2 is as interesting as the Division 2

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ahem

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I take that as an insult.

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Games don't really...release.

[5:16 PM] Ryu: Now, that's AC

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: That scene was from Infinity War.

[5:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Dude just dropped his kid down a cliff.

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Literally.

[5:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: I saw Judas.

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And then talks about building friendship and family.

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this the Bible?

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...no.

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: It looks biblical.

[5:17 PM] Ryu: Roman assassin

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's Roman.

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh that'd be why.

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Lots of Romans in the Bible.

[5:17 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: I thoughts its Greece?

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The fate of Greece"

[5:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...maybe.

[5:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ya See

[5:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Assassin's Creed Odyssey.

[5:18 PM] Ryu: I have more interesting in this than Origins

[5:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: LET'S DO THE

[5:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Here we go, off the rails)

[5:18 PM] Ryu: Good old french canadian accent

[5:18 PM] RawkHawk2010: Are they gonna Raise their Sales?

[5:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Ancient Greece" and Athens.

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The entire existence of Greece was "a time of war."

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is that true?

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ORDER AND CHAOS

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I dunno probably.

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sounds fake.

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: KEBEC

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fake hype.

[5:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kind of like how future America in these upcoming games is always bad.

[5:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not just "an Odyssey but YOUR Odyssey"

[5:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Surely there's a future America timeline that's good...?

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Chooce between Alexios and Kassandra.

Alexios is not a woman, so they'll play as Kassandra.

[5:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: KASANDRA

[5:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Applause for diversity.

[5:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wait Kassandra

[5:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Okay not the same thing

[5:20 PM] Ryu: Are they the same character or they have a different story?

[5:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Good thing Kasandra's not named Kassandra.

[5:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: She'd steal all her hits.

[5:21 PM] Ryu: What an useful cutscene

[5:21 PM] Ryu: just cut it

[5:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Kicking people down cliffs.

[5:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or pits, if it's 300.

[5:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What the hell are these video clips?

[5:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: People would search "Kasandra Blade" and just get this.

[5:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sokrates?

[5:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't think it's spelled like that.

[5:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Everyone has a Russian accent.

[5:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Kassandra just staring at Sokrates for several seconds as she's making a dialogue decision.

[5:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: They sound Hebrew.

[5:22 PM] Ryu: Greece is close to russia, I guess

[5:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I like how they emphasise that one option is a [lie].

[5:23 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: welp KOTOR

[5:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Because I guess people playing the game up to that point didn't follow the story to know the events and if they actually happened or not.

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Speaking of stealing hits

[5:23 PM] Ryu: I thought Ubisoft Montreal was making Assassin's Creed games(edited)

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: People won't be able to just say "Odyssey" anymore will they?

[5:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ya see

[5:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dick move.

[5:24 PM] Ryu: this is lasting longer than I thought

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Fun fact: This is named Odyssey because that's supposed to be a famous Greek story.

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: I know.

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Still

[5:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: They knew what they were doing.

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sokrates has weird lip syncing.

[5:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And a weird eye.

[5:24 PM] Ryu: Good voice acting

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, it's Barnabas.

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not Sokrates.

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Who the hell is Barnabas?

[5:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Horse cutscene.

[5:25 PM] Ryu: Barnabas glitched through the crowd

[5:25 PM] Ryu: Now that's the AC that I know of

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maleos

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kay it's not Malos.

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Good.

[5:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME!"

[5:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Game is coming real close to stealing more names than I'd like.

[5:26 PM] Ryu: I kind of miss when this game was more about stealth

[5:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah seems kinda generic.

[5:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, for context, Ubisoft is showing off the female protagonist because they got controversy for not having them.

[5:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Or being able to animate them.

[5:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought the last one had a female protagonist.

[5:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Something is off with the lip-syncing.

[5:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, but...

...Not good enough!

[5:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Uncanny valley with the realness of the faces.

[5:29 PM] Ryu: Lyp-syncing was probably made for French first

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Controversy is still top result in Google searches.

[5:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Almost real but not.

[5:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not a fan.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So French have weird lips?

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Did they not have armour back then?

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Diokles boss.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought it said Dickles.

So much for enjoying the beach.

[5:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Too expensive.

[5:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can't see, 'cause it's white name on white beach.

[5:30 PM] Ryu: This is not fun

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Your character has to buy their own armor after all that you probably have to grind for.

[5:30 PM] Ryu: You killed some of my interest with your gameplay footage, Ubisoft

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Cow

[5:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wot where

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: I saw horns.

[5:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Assumed cow.

[5:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: punk

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Guess that's it.

[5:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: PC Gaming Show in 29 minutes.

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Where's Kirkhope.

[5:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Where'd Miyamoto go?

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably home.

[5:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Didn't care about this last game.

[5:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reminder that Yves Guillemot only showed up just to give a toy to Miyamoto.

[5:31 PM] Ryu: "I am a potato"(edited)

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Miyamoto probably not an Assassin's Creed guy.

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Does Assassin's Creed really need a story?

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Why don't we have a Miyamoto emoji?

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: We may need one.

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: END

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was definitely the most polarizing conference.

[5:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I liked the dancing.

[5:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: High highs low lows.

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ended very badly.

[5:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So is it whether or not it's above or below Microsoft?

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Started off very well!

[5:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's above Bethesda, ya?

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yes

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Above Bethesda

[5:33 PM] Ryu: AC always had a story lol

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not above MS

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah

[5:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Miyamoto wouldn't let it have a story if he developed it.)

[5:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: I was quoting Miyamoto

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: MS didn't have boring strings.

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: But it didn't have things like the Prime Minister of Finland crashing on stage either.

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or fucking FOX

[5:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (That wasn't the real Prime Minister of Finland)

[5:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (They don't even look similar)

[5:34 PM] Ryu: of course not

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Who was that then?

[5:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Or have remotely similar names)

[5:34 PM] Ryu: it's not Sauli

[5:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: Who was that then?

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: And why did I think that it was?

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juha_Sipil%C3%A4

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's the actual Prime Minister of Finland.

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was he at the conference?

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some random dude who proclaimed himself as the Prime Minister of Finland.

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think he's a developer.

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: So not actually him.

[5:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Correct, and there's no discernible pun connecting the two.

[5:35 PM] Ryu: alright

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought he was there like how Levitt and the Hobbit were there.

[5:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Weird.

[5:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: K not as cool now.

[5:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, FAKE NEWS.

[5:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Drop it down a point.

[5:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[5:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Donkey Kong amounted to nothing.

[5:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Lame melody with a fin going through the sand that I thought was gonna be Enguarde.

[5:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nothing really new.

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: A few seconds of the DK Rap.

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They can't spoil it!

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably will stay a few seconds because would they really do all the verses?

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yes.

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: Doubt it

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They already did a whole song before.

[5:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ubisoft?

[5:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Remember?

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You wrote about it.

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.koopatv.org/2017/08/smart-devs-dont-do-rabbids.html

[5:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Don't remember this.

[5:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The "Rabbid opera performance"

[5:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well yeah I know they could but I mean the rap isn't even mainly about Donkey Kong.

[5:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Like all of DK64 it's mainly about characters that aren't him.

[5:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: "He's one heck/hell of a guy!" oh wait guy hasn't been seen in 20 years.(edited)

[5:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah Odyssey did this so who knows

[5:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Who knows!

We won't possibly know until tomorrow.


You don't have to wait until tomorrow for even more KoopaTV reaction logs! Why, there are more being developed RIGHT NOW for tonight!


For last year's Ubisoft E3 2017 reaction log, click here!
The conference before this one was... three times shorter.
And the conference after this isn't even a conference, but a bungled show.