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Monday, April 2, 2018

KoopaTV's March 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This answers what is going to happen with KoopaTV and KoopaTV's stuff.

After yesterday's proclamation, even though it happened on April 1 and not in March, it's probably best to talk about it to start this March 2018 newsletter.

The Fate of KoopaTV and LaboTV

Yesterday (on a SUNDAY, so you know something is unusual), there was an article published by what appeared to be King Bowser Koopa, describing how KoopaTV would be ending, to be replaced by a new website, LaboTV.

For the Sunday, KoopaTV was in this scary cardboard brown colour, which was presumably the LaboTV colour scheme:

Launching LaboTV on KoopaTV article brown cardboard Nintendo Labo
(The LaboTV logo was pretty cool, though.)

It turns out that this change in strategy did NOT come from our chief executive, King Bowser Koopa. It came from a cardboard imposter, Trojan Bowser!

Could it be that the forces of cardboard are teaming up to try to take over the Internet in order to promote the Nintendo Labo? Well, while we could not get in touch with the real King Bowser, we can be assured that Trojan Bowser is nothing but a fake.

That does leave the question of whether or not LaboTV would be much more successful than KoopaTV is, though. We're pretty sure the way we said we'd set up LaboTV would appeal to a much broader audience than KoopaTV does. That said...

...The number one audience for KoopaTV right now is its own staff. We write what we want to write about (besides requests), and then you go enjoy it. We tried writing about the Nintendo Labo to see what would happen, and we got so bored doing it that we had to scrap the idea. Full-time immersion in Labo when none of the staffers have a passion for Labo? Terrible. Writing propaganda for Koopa Kingdom is so much more fun.

But hey, if you do have a passion for the Labo, feel free to start your own site like LaboTV would've been. Give it support with some pay-per-click on search engines for some key search terms, and you'll grow something quickly. We can affiliate afterwards!

In conclusion, we're not moving forward with LaboTV since the idea was brought to us by a cardboard interloper claiming to be our boss, and we don't have any passion for the idea anyway. Sorry to disappoint anyone.

Also, that LaboTV article had the brand-new LaboTV category. I have recategorised the article to be under KoopaTV, thus eliminating the LaboTV category. May we never see it again.

Top Five Recommended KoopaTV Articles of March 2018

Let's talk about what website we actually do have, and its works produced in the last month!

I've noted that every article in March was categorised as Gaming Commentary, except for the one reaction log that happened. My apologies for the lack of variety. We don't have any immediate plans in April for something else, but we'll keep an eye out for opportunities.

That's not to say there is anything wrong with Gaming Commentary — it's supposed to be the most common article type, and according to your answers in KoopaTV's Feedback Forms (everyone reading this should fill out KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XV and KoopaTV Quiz Part XV, BY THE WAY), Gaming Commentary is among the most enjoyable categories to read, anyway. So, check out the top five recommended articles of the month in chronological order:
  1. The Nintendo Switch — Out on the market for ONE YEAR! — KoopaTV's perspective on the Nintendo Switch's one-year anniversary. Specifically, Ludwig despises talking about anniversaries, and spends the article correcting Nintendo's grammar.
  2. We Don't Know Yet If Super Smash Bros. For Switch is Original or Not — Following the Nintendo Direct announcing a Super Smash Bros. game for the Nintendo Switch, Ludwig plays devil's advocate to people who think it is a wholly original game, as opposed to an enhanced port.
  3. All Time is a Bad Time — Rawk attacks the very concept of TIME itself, following yet another horrible Daylight Savings Time.
  4. It's Sea of Thieves Eve And I Must Grieve — The night before the release of Sea of Thieves, Rawk rants about how the game is a boring, overhyped disaster. It even made him depressed.
  5. What's the Deal With Detective Pikachu? — On the release of Detective Pikachu, Ludwig accuses the game of being a SAG-AFTRA plot to place voice-actors as the most important part of a game.

Every article is worth reading, though!

Top Three Best Comments and Worst Comment of March 2018

...Everything being worth reading doesn't extend to the readers’ (that's YOU) comments. Well, no, that's not nice. Let's start with the positive, in chronological order:
  1. “The fun part about Judaism is there can be many different ways to interpret the Bible. Rashi actually finds evidence that some eggs might have been created before the actual living animal and therefore the animals would hatch from the eggs but it only for those on day 5 which includes the fowl. He bases it on how the verses are written for animals in both day 5 and 6 and he contrasts the verses.

    Hamodia is a Hareidi newspaper who would most likely snap if someone tells them evolution is real so I trust that they would know this particular Rashi well. Rashi also lived centuries before Darwin so he is not being an apologetic to the theory of evolution. Rashi is also a very respected commentator on the Bible. Children in Hebrew schools usually start with him over other commentators.

    I still have not chosen a team yet as of this comment. Also maybe Marina is right, at least about herself and her fellow contemporaries. She is an octopus after all and according to the Bible, only humans have free will.” — ShinyGirafarig
  2. “I'm playing Color Splash for the first time, this article is exactly how I felt when I beat Morton, I was dissapointed because I was forced on using the Fire Extinguisher and after that Morton turned into nothing.
    Fortunately the rest of the bosses aren't like that, they just keep doing good damage after you stop their little own game with a thing, but after that pretty much the battle is over.

    (I just beat Wendy btw, the game looks nice, can't decide if I like Color Splash or Super Paper Mario the best).” — Wolf.b.smasher
  3. “It's always good to have that hint of doubt whenever holding tightly to a belief! While signs seem to favor Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo Switch being an original game, nothing is stopping Nintendo from a deluxe edition (like that with Pokken).

    Also, Mother 3...

    :(” — Nandin Lopez

Actually, despite my negative opening, I liked a lot of the comments this month, and there were several others that didn't make it that I liked. I like when readers pass on good lessons, like the virtues of devil's advocacy, or looking at other ways to approach the same issue. I also like when people revisit older articles with good points, especially pro-Koopa ones.

I don't like when people revisit older articles and say stupid crap like this, which is the worst comment of March 2018:

  1. “This comment section has been abandoned for a few years from what I see” — SonnyTMG//TheMinecraftGamer
I understand why the commenter is dumb — he is, in his own words, a Minecraft gamer. But, I mean, he commented in a popular article from two and a half years ago that is all about a time-sensitive one-time event. So, yes, the comments section for that particular article doesn't have much going on. Obviously, with over 1,300 published articles on the site, and less than that number in unique daily traffic, not every article is going to be bustling with comments activity. New articles tend to get the most new comments.

The guy didn't even say anything CONSTRUCTIVE about the article content, which you'd think would be atypical of a Minecraft player, but there is all kinds of stupid stuff going on in Minecraft that the game wasn't intended for, so who knows.

KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 19 Mid-Round Leaderboard

Here are the standings as of publishing:
  1. Kody B. — 38 points
  2. Nandin Lopez — 32 points
  3. ShinyGirafarig — 31 points
  4. Wolf.b.Smasher — 15 points
There are others below that top four, but if you want to be name-dropped, you'll have to work harder for it. Fortunately, there is enough time to score lots of points in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and win that $10 Nintendo eShop card!

More reader participation! Go!

Corrections Corner

There were a grand total of zero corrections made by the readers in the month of March 2018. As you should expect, KoopaTV was spotless. No typos... and no factual mistakes.

KoopaTV Discontinuing Our tumblr

I never really was enthusiastic about creating a tumblr account for KoopaTV.

After over three and a half years and over a thousand posts, we still have absolutely nothing to show for our effort to make anything happen on tumblr. The user interface is still unusable, so I still don't know how to properly use it. I'm not really interested in sitting down and exploring tumblr, since the userbase is a bunch of perverted teenage girls into social justice and queer activism. I can't go explore the place to troll people because you can't have public conversations with random people.

Also, tumblr users have an unsatisfying level of humour.

It turns out that tumblr users consider all of their accounts to be blogs, so they don't go on tumblr to read advertisements for off-site blogs. They want the blogs right in front of them. Since KoopaTV isn't going to be syndicating our content off to a platform as awful as tumblr, that really gives us no place there.

So I'm discontinuing it. This article will be the last one posted on our tumblr account, and then I'll be deleting the thing in May. You know, like what was supposed to happen to KoopaTV under LaboTV, except I actually want to kill the tumblr.

The Knowing When We Update article has been updated accordingly.

KoopaTV is still hiring

Don't forget: Provided you are capable and competent, KoopaTV is always looking for new staff members! You won't even have to be interested in the Nintendo Labo! (But since it won't be LaboTV and we won't be revenue-generating, you don't get paid. At least it's fun!)

Even if you won't join KoopaTV, you can do KoopaTV a big favour and share KoopaTV's articles around. Commenting on the site is also always appreciated! A reminder: Referring people to KoopaTV's readership ranks gets you points in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program!

Following the LaboTV ordeal, KoopaTV has declared war on Nintendo Labo.
Last month's February 2018 review newsletter's biggest announcement was about the Loyalty Rewards Program, but it's a good read.
Next month's April 2018 review newsletter's biggest announcement was about the Loyalty Rewards Program, but it's a good read.
Last year's March 2017 review newsletter isn't as good as this one, but hey, it's historical.
How about next year's March 2019 review newsletter? Find out for yourself.


  1. Is this a pun or an error? "The number one audience for KoopaTV write now is its own staff"

    1. A bad pun because I decided Phoenix Wright shouldn't get all of the punny glory.

      Nah it's an error, which makes me look like a jackass later. Well, March was typo-free.

  2. "It turns out that this change in strategy did NOT come from our chief executive, King Bowser Koopa. It came from a cardboard imposter, Trojan Bowser!"

    Hmm, now what could have been your first clue? Could it be that the name of said article's author was listed--VERBATIM--as "TROJAN BOWSER"? :p I guess I should be glad that it only took you two days to catch on...

    1. HEY, HEY, HEY.

      Give us a little credit here!

  3. I probably should comment more, and will in days to come. I'm a daily visitor, on behalf of Ludwig.
    KoopaTV has an outstanding capability to reach alot of viewers through many platforms. I think if the issue is popularity or activity, plainly mentioning that request will generate the wanted results. Sometimes idiot-proofing things for non idiots proves acutely successful. -Adam

    1. Thanks for the comment, and thanks if you follow through with your commitment! ♫

      I've asked before (in KoopaTV Feedback Form Part XII) why people don't share KoopaTV articles more often. Turns out our audience is made up of misfits who don't have social followings of their own.
      ...Or they feel like KoopaTV appeals to such a niche audience that they ain't friends with anyone who'd appreciate it. (Or it's a guilty pleasure they wanna keep secret.)

      Hence, LaboTV would've been a mass-audience thing.

  4. Today, I typed in into the address bar and I was disappointed to find out that the site does not actually exist. Then I remembered it would not fully launch until April 20, so I became relieved until I read the bad news just now. I knew LaboTV was too good to be true.

    1. I mean, I can go ahead and buy the domain name if I wanted!

      But I already did that with and I haven't done anything with that.

  5. Wow..Just wow.. I didn't check when the article was made because I could care less, I'm not dumb. Roleplayers like you are dumb..

    1. lol you said "because I could care less" and then proceeded to say you're not dumb.

      You're not making your case very well.

      (I hope you know you probably meant to say "could not care less.")

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. You're really not impressing anyone.


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