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Monday, April 30, 2018

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splatfest Part 1: Raphael vs. Leonardo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Sigh... Well, there's a startling similarity here...

Japan's Splatfests in Splatoon 2 have been sponsored nonsense for basically the whole time they've been doing these, so they're used to Splatfests being dumb and immersion-breaking. Europe and the Americas less so, not since the bad days of the SpongeBob SquarePants Splatfest in the first Splatoon.

However, we're returning to those days. Not just returning. Not just doubling down. But we're tripling down on them: In the next three weekends, we'll have THREE Splatfests in a row: a tournament style series featuring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Round 1, for Saturday May 5th, features Raphael vs. Leonardo. Round 2, for the next Saturday (May 12) features Michelangelo vs. Donatello, though I don't know if that's the order that Off the Hook will support them in. Round 3, for May 19, will conclude the Splatfest tournament by having the winner of Round 1 and Round 2 face off. You'll need to go collect your Super Sea Snails on, like, Sunday. Quick, now.

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Raphael vs. Leonardo Raph Leo round 1 Off the Hook
“Who's your favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Raph or Leo?”

Wait... before I tell you my choice... what the hell happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in those pictures?!

They're all nasty and redesigned. I mean, look at their faces. THEIR FACES. THEIR FIGURES. It's horrible. Compare to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at any other point in time, like in 1987:

That theme song leads me to realise something. Leonardo, the turtle with the blue headband, used to be considered the leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Then, he got redesigned by Nickelodeon for this upcoming 2018  Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot thing, and now Raphael, the red-headbanded turtle, is the leader. Even though he sure as heck wasn't beforehand.

That is astonishingly very similar to what Nintendo has done to me. Everyone knew that I was the highest prince of Koopa Kingdom, the next in line to the throne, and the leader of the Koopalings. All of a sudden, Nintendo redesigned me and the rest of the Koopalings to all look different, and then suddenly Shigeru Miyamoto decided to meddle in my family's affairs and proclaim Bowser Jr. to be the leader, and me and my siblings not King Bowser's children!

The whole leader thing, plus the redesign victimhood part, along with having blue on our heads? (My blue is HAIR, however. All natural!) We're soul-shelled-creatures!

...Which means that Raphael is akin to Bowser Jr. There is no way I'll be supporting that, even if he manages to win this round and advance to the Splatfest on the 19th.

I'm happy I did my research, actually. I was inclined to go vote for Raphael just because I wanted to be on Pearl's team. But, nope, that would be a gross failure on my part. You shouldn't make that same mistake. You love me, don't you? Then support Team Leonardo!

Ludwig sees a lot in common between himself and Leonardo (he's not sure about these turtle people, though), so he is picking Leonardo, and you should, too. Stay tuned for next week's Splatfest between Donatello and Michelangelo, which has a less obvious distinction between which turtle ought to be picked.

For the Splatfest published before this one from the beginning of April 2018, click here. It's on sports, but it's interesting!
In terms of red versus blue, blue was already proven, by Splatfest law, to be the superior colour. Take that into consideration.
Ludwig was fine showing off Raphael back in the pizza Splatfest.
Here is the Donatello vs. Michelangelo Splatfest article that you have been staying tuned for!
Raphael won round 1, so he's coming back to the final round!


  1. On the bright side, if Raphael does win, you'll have a good reason not to be on Marina's team.

    1. How do you know in Round 3 who will be on which idol's side?

    2. I went under the assumption that Michelangelo will win the other round (because I have no idea who Donatello is). Forgive me.

    3. Well... stay tuned for next week, then.

      I don't plan on supporting Michelangelo, let's put it that way.

    4. Never mind. Looks like you'll be on Marina's team regardless.

    5. Yeaaah I'm probably gonna lose all three.

  2. I had a feeling you would be on Leo's side.

    I never really watched any Ninja Turtle show. From what I heard Raph and Leo swapped personalities. What was the point of that then? Why not design Leo like Raph as the large snapping turtle then? Is it because they want the leader to wear red like how many leaders in media has a red theme in some form like Alvin and the Chipmunks (red chipmunk is the only one named in their band name) or Blossom from the Powerpuff Girls (pink is a shade of red)?

    Also who is this Splatfest intended for? It is not for fans of the previous Turtles because they changed so much from the previous shows to not be recognizable and the new show has not aired yet for people to make a clear choice about which character they actually like to support. They can only base it off some preview materials and press release to make their choice. Or pick based on waifu.

    1. What was the point of it? I don't know. No insight. It just happened that way.
      According to:
      It's because Raphael is the oldest.
      ...But in earlier adaptations, Leonardo was the oldest. So why is Raphael the oldest now? I dunno. I DON'T LIKE IT.

      The Splatfest is intended as a promotional advertisement, much like Grizzco's sponsorship on Off the Hook's news cast. Now a bunch of people, some in the reboot's target market, know the show exists and may or may not proceed to watch it whenever it releases.

      Nick obviously doesn't care about the immersion of the Splatoon universe or the engagement rates for the Splatfest. That's Nintendo's problem.

  3. It's quite strange that a post-apocalyptic world would care about shows that released centuries ago yet here we are. I have never watched any iteration of the shows so I do not have any preference to one or the other. If I were to choose, I will choose between the artists the characters are actually based off of. Since I'm not too familiar with much of Raphael's work, I'll be siding with Team Leonardo. Plus, I prefer blue over red anyway.

    1. I guess I need to try to get someone who has watched the shows to comment here?

      Glad that you're on my side, one way or the other.


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