Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 59: A Non-Vegan Cast

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The vast majority of players wouldn't get this far to know this about Ring and Dragaux.

Hello, and welcome to a KoopaTV Fitness Friday! Where I log my fitness adventures for everyone to read. In the name of good wellness.

When I entered World 59: Fitness Master Lv. 331 on Sunday, Dragaux was saying that I look pretty trained right now, and it seems like the Four Masters have done their job in getting me more buff. So he's just going to wait in one of the six Dragaux Stadiums and not tell us which one he's in. While Ring doesn't remember which one Dragaux is in (the bottom left), I do remember (and I pointed it out the last time we were in El Dorago, World 36: Extra Fitness Lv. 225, and I also want to 100% the world anyway, so I'm going to go to all of the wrong Dragaux Stadiums first. Just a note: Each of them are basically a miniboss fight, but with some minor level design (enough to fit three EXP Medals) and standard monster fight music.

I believe you were actually depressed about your stolen chocolate protein shake.
That's the real reason why you made no appearance in the last world, right?

I first went to the Dragaux Stadium on the far right, which has a level design of two long stairways you need to Knee Lift through into one Mini Dragaux Statue at the end. Even with a ↑↑ power smoothie, I barely miss out on 4RKO-ing the Mini Dragaux Statue, so maybe I need to wear an outfit that further boosts my attack? (Specifically, smoothies last for three turns, and then I did one and a half turns without smoothies to demolish the statue.) I focused on Chair Pose and Revolved Crescent Lunge Pose for that one. For the next course, I went all the way to the Dragaux Stadium on the far left, this time wearing the Volt Contender to boost the attack of my Abs Fit Skills. Of course, this Dragaux Stadium's level design packs all two of the ways Yoga Fit Skills are incorporated into a course: TWO Chair Pose Hold-powered cart segments (for maybe a minute each, depending on how well you hold it), and TWO Slinkbug segments where you must Tree Pose Hold for one minute each—one per leg. The fight at the end is a Mini Dragaux Statue and, surprisingly, two Gold Hoplins positioned in a way where you need to use a five-range Fit Skill to hit everyone at the same turn. I 4RKO'd the Mini Dragaux Statue with two five-range Fit Skills and two one-range Fit Skills (Flutter Kicks) and a rush attack that luckily activated, so... that messes up my damage experiment entirely. As a result, I went south to tackle the Rare Hoplin overworld fight (with two of them). I tried Planking them... too difficult. Apparently, Ring Fit Adventure asks for my butt to be higher than what a plank should actually involve. How Ring Fit Adventure wants you to plank (30 reps on difficulty level 30 for about 5 seconds each) is actually very antithetical to how you're supposed to do planks (a few of them per day but held for about 30 seconds each).

Applying to Capcom Creators, and their unique terms and definitions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Want to help my application? Let's see how welcome they are...

Last week, game publisher CAPCOM (maker of fantastic videogames like The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, which is currently on sale and was KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2021) announced a new programme: Capcom Creators. It's designed to help foster CAPCOM's fan community with support and resources, including beta access, merchandise, and other things. Well, I make CAPCOM content fairly often, especially for Ace Attorney. So let's look into this...

They have a multi-page Code of Conduct, with the pages all being variations and elaborations of this theme:

Capcom is dedicated to creating an inclusive environment for everyone, regardless of race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, color, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, parental status (including pregnancy), marital status, national origin, age, disability (physical or mental), genetic information, political affiliation, socioeconomic status or background, neuro(a)typicality, physical appearance, body size, computing experience, or clothing. Consider that calling attention to differences or making jokes about them can feel alienating.

Compare this to the Xbox Ambassadors Terms of Use:

CEO of (FAKE NEWS) Bloomberg leaves to start new media venture "Project Coda"

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A new source of FAKE NEWS or will it be a legitimate source?

According to the KoopaTV Game of THAT Year 2021 awards, exposing the FAKE NEWS media throughout 2021 (particularly as it related to the Nintendo Switch and hardware revisions) was KoopaTV.org's best article series. A lot of that was about Bloomberg Media Group, a FAKE NEWS media company of which Bloomberg News is a part. Now it turns out that Justin B. Smith, the CEO of Bloomberg Media Group, has stepped down in order to create a new media venture with New York Times media columnist and former BuzzFeed News editor-in-chief Ben Smith. (The two Smiths are unrelated.)

Justin Smith recommends reading this Wall Street Journal report, while Ben Smith recommends reading this FT report. So let's examine those.

It appears their new venture, called “Project Coda” for now, will be a very multimedia publication aimed at general topics (as opposed to just business topics), with modern digital reporting besides just written articles, but also videos, podcasts, and other things you might expect nowadays from sleek, modern websites (not like this one). Certainly a higher budget and a bigger team than what KoopaTV has, though I strongly disagree that the written word is antiquated and obsolete. Their target audience are “200 million college-educated, English-speaking professionals” throughout Earth. This is apparently a big differentiator from other media outlets, which target mostly one country (like the United States), or they don't care about the education level of their audience. (KoopaTV, for example, targets Koopa Kingdom readers and mostly United States-residing English-speakers 13 (preferably 18) and up, without regard to education. As long as you appreciate our excellent writing quality.) This makes it have an “international focus”, though how they plan to do that differently than already-existing publications with regional offices and reporters is a mystery.

Nintendo New Year 2022 Sale, featuring The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Only on the Nintendo eShop.

You have checked out KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2021 series of awards published yesterday, right? Spoiler alert: The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles had a clean sweep of all of the gaming-related awards, being the best in everything for 2021. If you want to find out what you're missing, and you want to do that sooner rather than later, you're in luck: Exclusively on the Nintendo eShop right now (and not on any other platform's game storefront), The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles is 25% off. It's $30 instead of its usual $40. In the United States, this sale lasts until January 17, 2:59 AM Eastern.

In the United Kingdom and Europe in general, it lasts until... uh... imminently, apparently, where it's also 25% off. (January 12.) I better publish this quick, then. Buy The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles at its discounted price. It's the first time the game has been individually discounted, since I am not counting when the Ace Attorney Turnabout Collection was on sale for $45 for the CAPCOM Holiday Sale 2021 that just happened. That collection, normally $60, contains both The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy, and I considered it a 50% discount on just the Trilogy part.

Right now, The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles is the only Ace Attorney game on sale. There are many other games on sale for the Nintendo New Year 2022 Sale, ranging from crap like ARMS to otherwise solid titles (and somehow Shin Megami Tensei V is already 30% off despite coming out only two months ago), but The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles is all that really matters.

Don't be like Ryunosuke.
With just a little money (less than usual if you act now!), you can entertain yourself for many tens of hours (or 100+ like me) playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles!
...And if you are gonna stare at something, you could stare at KoopaTV articles, at least.

KoopaTV owes several people money that could go into purchasing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, as part of the rewards portion of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 41. Apologies for the wait. The gift card codes should be delivered via email before the sale ends. Ludwig just needs to get Kamek to follow through on the purchasing!


Just two weeks later, CAPCOM put the rest of their catalogue on sale.
Congrats to The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles selling over 500,000 copies worldwide.

KoopaTV's GOTY 2021 Awards!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Game of THAT Year 2021... and other categories.

After a weekend has passed since we published our Game of THAT Year 2021 nominations, plus other categories, KoopaTV's staff have decided on our Game of THAT Year 2021 winners. ...And I may or may not have ignored their choices in favour of pushing my own agenda. I won't tell you those details of how this got made, but you can feel free to take your best guesses.

While 2020 sucked, 2021 wasn't much better! So let's get right into the awards and not dwell on the year as a whole, since it's better to just forget it overall. At least the following all represent highlight(s)!

Videogame-related Awards for 2021

Best New Character

The winner of KoopaTV's 2021 Best New Character award goes to Magnus McGilded, of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. Magnus McGilded is a spectacular character that should be a role model.

I can see Magnus McGilded as a PragerU speaker or something.
This is also a lesson that today's capitalists ought to consider.

Magnus McGilded is a London philanthropist who has made his fortune through honest and morally righteous means. Unfortunately, just like with today's wealthy and upstanding upper class, a lot of lower people are jealous cretins and want to besmirch Mr. McGilded's name. Those include the game's new prosecutor, Barok van Zieks, whose first introduction to the player, as Ryunosuke Naruhodo, was prosecuting Mr. McGilded for murder. Yet Mr. McGilded proved himself to be the most capable defendant in Ace Attorney history, and he actually made van Zieks out to be quite incompetent. That's an amazing feat, especially considering that Barok is actually a top-tier prosecutor when compared to other Ace Attorney prosecutors. Mr. McGilded actually did research and helpfully contributed in advancing the NOT GUILTY goal. He also didn't sabotage his own case, unlike many other defendants throughout the franchise (and in other cases in The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles).

I don't want to spoil the case or the game, but as long as you remember that Magnus McGilded did nothing wrong, you too should find him worthy of Best New Character of 2021.

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 58: If you eat me now, you'll get triglycerides!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I went to the doctor, shared my results, and avoided becoming a monster meal.

Hello again. Welcome to the first KoopaTV Fitness Friday of 2022! This log is based about Ring Fit Adventure's World 58: Fitness Master Lv. 328 at difficulty level 30 of 30, which is based on the map for World 35: Extra Fitness Lv. 222. Last week at World 57, we fought Allegra, Abdonis, and Armando after Dragaux got depressed from having monsters steal his chocolate protein shake. This week, it seems like we'll fight the last of the Four Masters, Guru Andma. ...Dragaux is still sad, I guess.

This is all of the exposition for the world that we're going to get until the boss fight with Guru Andma.
I feel like Ring is referencing something, but I don't know what.

To test our... brain, I dunno, the first course is Clever-Trick Temple. Within the first half a minute as the level is reminding us about pushing and pulling blocks around, there's a Treasure Chest with two Mixed Chard drinks that are superfluous. But a valuable Treasure Chest later on had 500 coins. Unlike the level this one is a clone of, Pushpull Temple, there's no Treasure Chaser segment. I won't be accessing World 58's Town/General Store for quite some time, it seems, so let's just go to the next level— Mt. Fearmenot, infamously the first course in this playthrough that uses Ring's Wings, which replaces running for repeated abdominal presses to fly through the air. Not much else to say, besides a Treasure Chest had a Peridot stone and I got triggered by the presence of one Pinwheel Door. (At least it's only one as opposed to dozens from the last level of last world.)

Actually, clearing Mt. Fearmenot gave me access to the Town, as well as many other parts of the world. I went to the Town and went on a shopping spree, using all of the Peridot stones I've accumulated thus far since it seems like we're done with Topaz... and I need four more to clear out the General Store's Peridot-requiring inventory. Hmm. Perhaps I'll find them in the Monster Den. ...No, but I found a Defense Drink in a Treasure Chest and a Topaz from an enemy drop. (By “done with Topaz” I meant story fights and Gyms will drop Peridot now... random chance may still have generic enemy groups drop whatever.) At the end of the course I had acquired the “Righteous Warrior I Poser” and “Threefold-Squat Ascendant” Titles, for doing a total of at least 2000 Warrior I Poses and doing at least 300 Squats, Wide Squats, AND Overhead Squats. Yeah, I brought the Overhead Squat to the Monster Den and wore myself out doing so, but at least I'm physically capable of doing it again. While I've maxed out on Warrior I Pose Titles, the next Title for those squats are doing all of those at least one thousand times each. Not going to happen. ...And I'm done for the day because doing Overhead Squats is exhausting, and I want to take a shower.

KoopaTV's 2021 GOTY Nominations!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And other categories.

The following nominations were decided and talked about in our Koopa Keep Discord server. Behold! (See the bottom of this article for the link to the actual AWARDS.)

The déjà vu from years past is intentional. (To be eligible, those running have to start their existence in the United States of America from January 1, 2021 to December 31, 2021.)

And just so you remember, GOTY stands for “Game of THAT Year”. That's the KoopaTV touch.

But yeah, this isn't just about gaming, but also ourselves. ‘cause KoopaTV is art to be recognised and applauded, too.

This article is such a rehash of the 2019 one
that I just took the first 20, and copy-pasted it to make a second 20!

Videogame-related Awards for 2021

Best New Character

• Ayumi Tachibana (Famicom Detective Club)
• Magnus McGilded (The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles)
• Raven Beak (Metroid Dread)
• FU (No More Heroes 3)
• Cutie The Elephant (It Takes Two)
• Kazuma Asogi (The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles)

I don't have a problem with LEGO Luigi's mansion renovation projects

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Koopas aren't really involved, so...

You can be forgiven for watching this trailer and think that this is the only new LEGO + Nintendo set that just came out:

But here's the full list of new LEGO Super Mario items for purchase, and these don't include the new bundles they've devised:

1. LEGO® Super Mario™ Luigi’s Mansion™ Haunt-and-Seek Expansion Set ($79.99)
2. Luigi’s Mansion™ Entryway Expansion Set ($39.99)
3. Luigi’s Mansion™ Lab and Poltergust Expansion Set ($29.99)
4. Big Urchin Beach Ride Expansion Set ($59.99)
5. Dorrie’s Beachfront Expansion Set ($29.99)
6. Bowser Jr.'s Clown Car Expansion Set ($9.99)

Plus, you can (but shouldn't) try your luck with these $4.99 Character Packs, Series 4. You could get one of any of the following ten possibilities, with no guarantees which you might pull:

Give KoopaTV Your Requests in 2022 and (Half of) 2023!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Do you have a topic or prompt for us? Tell us here!

You might be reading existing KoopaTV articles and think to yourself, “I'd like to experience the KoopaTV opinion or creative spirit on THIS topic!” And then if you go through our site's search bar and can't find anything about it, maybe you'll wait a few weeks... and nope, we're just not talking about it. It's possible that we never will discuss the topic you devised through organic means.

In that case, comment on this page with your request and we'll consider it! We used to have an existing Requests page from 2014–2021, and there have been many articles that only exist because people spoke up and said they wanted to hear about something. (...And if we haven't already taken you up on anything from the old 2014 Requests page, we're just never going to get around to it. It's a clean slate now!) In that article, I likened KoopaTV to your “intellectual mercenaries”, which is a pretty cool line that I think still applies. And if you're not just purely interested in our thoughts, you should also note that besides just outright producing your own guest article (which you're always welcome to do), requests are a very direct way of influencing the narratives and plot lines that go on at KoopaTV.

But with this 2022 and 2023 requests page, I'd like to be more transparent about the status of requests. Rather than leaving you to scour through the comments section for things, I plan to edit in the status of requests into this article.

Oh, but there are some things we won't cover. We won't cover anything illegal. We won't write about “leaks” or “rumours” unless it's to denounce them. (But we'd rather not call attention to those.) We'd rather not comment on the meme of the day or other very passing fan works no one will care about a week later. If we have to spend money in order to complete your request, we probably won't do it. (Unless you fund it for us.) ...And we won't accept your request if we already covered the topic, or if we're about to cover it anyway. (Not that you know if we're about to do something we haven't done yet, but...)

So let us know in the comments section below what you want! ...It's free!

Note that KoopaTV stopped production of new content after July 3, 2023, so you're best looking elsewhere for requests for new content—assuming one of our existing thousands of articles doesn't fit your needs.

List of Active (but will never be completed) Requests in 2022 and 2023

Can we get something about NFTs?

Requester: Insider

Date Requested: January 18, 2022

Assigned KoopaTV author: Kamek

Nintendo franchise sales on Switch vs. previous systems

Requester: Captain Stitch

Date Requested: June 12, 2022

Assigned KoopaTV Author: Ludwig Von Koopa

List of Completed Requests in 2022

I request that you finally write an article that involves pictures of Samus surrounded by spherical objects to finally get her to smile.

Requester: ShinyGirafarig

Date Requested: January 5, 2022

Assigned KoopaTV author: Ludwig Von Koopa

Outcome: Samus Will Smile in the Presence of Round Things

Date Published: March 30, 2022 (~85 days)

Take a look at mariokart 7 multiplayer and how sweaty it is?

Requester: Okipullup

Date Requested: September 3, 2022

Assigned KoopaTV Author: Ludwig Von Koopa

Outcome: About Mario Kart 7 Multiplayer and How “Sweaty” It Is

Date Published: December 29, 2022 (~118 days)

Did you know that you can get points in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program for submitting an accepted request? Check the page for details on how that works. The article title implies that KoopaTV will make another one of these at the start of 2023 (assuming the website is around), but it continued into 2023. However, KoopaTV ceased content production midway through 2023.

KoopaTV's December 2021 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring reward results!

Last year's December 2020 review newsletter (link at the bottom of this current newsletter) suggested that since you survived 2020, you can instead die in 2021.

Yet if you're reading this now, you clearly are alive after 2021. I'm curious what you think of 2021 overall. From a videogame and KoopaTV perspective, we'll be looking into that with our Game of THAT Year awards, with nominations to be published later this week. The actual awards will be published next week. KoopaTV always waits for the year to end before talking about the whole year that ended. Super simple concept, but some outlets and media personalities don't do that.

Either way, what you're reading now is just looking at the month that just ended: December 2021. But a lot happened in that month. Plus, I have some additional announcements!

Top Five Recommended Experiences of December 2021

We can (and will) pat ourselves on the shell at whatever opportunity, but that's meaningless without good content. ...Uh... so here's me patting myself on the shell for writing these five experiences in December 2021, listed in chronological order:

1. Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 54: Damaging My Body For Content — December (and the end of November) has a whole plotline going on about how I'm physically unwell thanks to great pain at my left hip area. But I'm making fitness-related content anyway. This particular log documents how the game is pleading with me to stop playing it while I have this condition.
2. Is Sonic Frontiers ACTUALLY the next "Breath of the Wild"? — While it's not clear the answer to that headline is a yes or no, that's really the point. There's a big trend of everyone calling everything the next Breath of the Wild based on a gameplay-less trailer, and this article hearkens back to other deceptive Sonic trailers...
3. Pokémon Evolutions Episodes 5–8 Impressions — I wrote intelligent-sounding reactions to the Pokémon Evolutions episodes covering select Sinnoh, Hoenn, Johto, and Kanto lore and events.
4. Squid Erasure in Big Brain Academy: Brain vs. Brain Update 1.1.0 — I'm hesitant to list this here, but the notorious and controversial Squidwig hacked my KoopaTV admin account again to complain about a new update to Big Brain Academy: Brain vs. Brain that he sees as highly unfair towards squids.
5. Paper Mario: The Origami King Review. How does it compare to Color Splash? — After it was requested from February 2021, I finally wrote my review for Paper Mario: The Origami King, retaining the format from my previous review of Paper Mario: Color Splash. It's an in-depth review.

You'll also want to stick around for this week's Fitness Log to hear a resolution to that plotline. Also, while that Paper Mario: The Origami King review avoids spoilers, this month's Corrections Corner entry goes into some of that game's finer plot details, so be careful, I guess. Anyway, there were several good KoopaTV experiences that didn't make the above list—they're all worth reading regardless.