By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Why'd we watch this? ...Why'd we publish it?
Normally, I don't watch Nintendo's Indie World Showcases live. Or all the way through after the fact. Occasionally, something interesting will be announced there and I'll watch that individually, like Murder by Numbers at the end of 2019.
Either because I'm lazy today, or it's a slow news week, or because I'm still recovering from not writing anything for over a week, Heavy Lobster and I live-reacted to today's Indie World Showcase instead of writing real commentary. We expected nothing, mind you. And that's what we got!
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RNkRaNfCp4
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is gonna be a boring log if I'm watching this and have nothing to say.
[12:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I probably shouldn't be logging this, then.
[12:01 PM] HeavyLobster: We can be bored together, at least.
[12:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm immediately regretting watching this.
[12:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Road 96 is a "procedural narrative" something something by French people where you're homeless teenagers hitchhiking.
[12:02 PM] HeavyLobster: Ew. Those devs alone are a reason to not want to touch this.
[12:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OH HEY COPS WITH GUNS
[12:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is Aerial_Knight a real person or is he computer-generated?
[12:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: His character design is uncanny valley-ing.
[12:03 PM] HeavyLobster: Who wants to play as real-world teens? Only superpowered shonen teens are fun to play as.
[12:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I mean the guy who was talking to the camera, not the digital representation of him in the game.)
[12:04 PM] HeavyLobster: Indie portrayals of teens have them as totally insufferable. Which is realistic, but that doesn't make it good.
[12:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Maybe I'm supposed to not like the people I'm playing with, which again, is realistic.
[12:06 PM] HeavyLobster: W*stern game devs, not even once.
[12:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Whoops I just ignored the Annapurna stuff.
[12:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Here's a British guy who is a skateboarder.
[12:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is what they're doing post Prince Philip.
[12:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The non-human NPCs give me Splatoon vibes, though.
[12:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This German guy is trying to have a Shigeru Miyamoto-esque origin story of being inspired by visiting caves.
[12:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Your task is to wait... for 400 days. How will you pass the time?" - The Longing
[12:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, that didn't look fun.
[12:09 PM] HeavyLobster: More Euros. Eww.
[12:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "400 days... in real time?"
[12:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You don't actually have to play this adventure game to see how it ends." - Nindies narrator... advocating for... watching a Let's Play of it?
[12:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Wot's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing here?
[12:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I mean, I really like the pixel art.
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| Shout-out to Inkopolis Square for (correctly) recognising Donatello as the best Ninja Turtle. |
[12:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge"
[12:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Here's an RPG about shifting time, and I can't tell if the bad-looking frame rate is part of the time theme or...
[12:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Konami is now an indie developer I guess)
[12:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Here's a game inspired by... Aztec culture made by a Mexican developer.
[12:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...
[12:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ....huh?
[12:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't know wot I just watched in that trailer.
[12:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A combination of Aztec mythologies but in a futuristic setting...?
[12:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Future by our standards, not future by Aztec standards.)
[12:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Skul: The Hero Slayer" by SouthPAW Games looks...decent, by the standards of what's happened so far.
[12:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 90 power-ups sounds like it'll be BALAN-esque though.
[12:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ending montage of things not shown.
[12:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...
[12:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...........
[12:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, uh, it's ending with a sale announcement.
[12:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Indie World Sale available now.
[12:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's all.
[12:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Uh... we spoke too soon."
[12:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We have one more game to show you."
[12:20 PM] HeavyLobster: Nah, I'm happy with the games I've got now.
[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How much did this developer pay Nintendo to get special placement at the end?
[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Lost Signals" 2021
[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Uh...
[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Whatever.
[12:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf was that
[12:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, feel free to roast us in the comments section for making this your article for the day. Even I feel bad about it! Sorry!
Well, you saw that last message Ludwig wrote in the log. Get to it. ...Unless there was something in this showcase you found interesting.
The last (and only other) time that KoopaTV decided a reaction log to the Nintendo indies showcase would be a good idea was Spring 2019.
There was a Nintendo Indie World for May 2022, which didn't get a reaction log because it made Ludwig fall asleep.
This sucks, now I hate Koopatv and I'm leaving forever. I should have known that I'd never get objective hard thought out journalism here, back to CNN for me!
ReplyDeleteYou can't leave... I haven't published your guest article yet...!
DeleteOh yeah, and I'm still waiting for that origami king review too. At your leisure of course. I think I'll write another guest post, but I'd have to decide on another underrated game, there's so many!
Delete...Mmmmmm.
DeleteCAN'T DO THAT AT CNN.