KoopaTV's Electronic Arts E3 2018 Conference Live Reactions

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The first E3 press conference of 2018!

This is it. The start of E3 2018! We are starting with what is historically the worst company to get an E3 conference, Electronic Arts. Will the company that is solely responsible for making E3 a multi-calendar-week affair continue their terribleness, or will they pleasantly surprise us?

(Take a wild guess before you read the log. You'll probably be right.) 

We're joined by myself, RawkHawk2010, and Kamek in our first reaction log of E3! (And also the first E3 that we're conducting via Discord.)

Also, check out our super handy-and-dandy KoopaTV E3 Weeks 2018 Schedule here!

[1:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: okay we're in

[1:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: LESS THAN ONE MINUTE.

[1:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Who is even going to be here?

[1:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: @Kamek get your ass in here.

[1:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: lol

[1:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or @Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy

[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RIP @Vortex

[2:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Okay @Vortex LAST CHANCE

[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH COUNTDOWN

[2:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nope!

[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EA PLAY

[2:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Started!

[2:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: All I have is a lollipop.

[2:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: I have onion ring crumbs.

[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EA has augmented reality.

[2:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this really AR

[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "That was Anthem."

[2:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Did people there see that?

[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Dunno, but they applauded.

[2:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is... Andrea Reneé?

[2:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks familiar.

[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Andrea Rene.

[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I like how she specified that people can play the demos for FREE.

[2:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Battlefield Five.

[2:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: Didn't Battlefield One just come out?

[2:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Any World Cup fans? You guys excited?"

[2:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: "You wanna do this with me?"

[2:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: :cammy_meele:

[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is she trying to be an EA version of Aisha Tyler?

[2:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: yea

[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BATTLEFIELD V

[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Is that it?

[2:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: .....

[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They got incoherent DICE people talking.

[2:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: The hell accent is this.

[2:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Swedish?

[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Our take on the second World War"

[2:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: We're back to WWII games after ten years.

[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How many takes on the second World War are we gonna get?

[2:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: The industry moved away from them over the past decade.

[2:04 PM] RawkHawk2010: But they're back.

[2:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can customise your soldier. shows a black guy

[2:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: I wanna be a dog.

[2:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How many untold stories of World War II are there by now?

[2:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's over 70 years old.

[2:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're plugging the Xbox briefing tomorrow.

[2:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "No loot boxes. No premium pass." Applause.

[2:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Every day, we'll bring something new."

[2:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It's... Royale."

[2:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Reimagined for Battlefield."

[2:06 PM] Kamek: ?

[2:06 PM] Kamek: Kamek is here

[2:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: A woman with a bionic arm is the mascot of this.

[2:06 PM] Kamek: What did I miss?

[2:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not too much.

[2:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: A WWII untold story.

[2:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're making a Battlefield Battle Royale, apparently.

[2:06 PM] Kamek: Like pubg?

[2:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I dunno, they didn't specify.

[2:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now they're talking about Battlefield V, which "even features music."

[2:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: Trailer cut off dude's laughter.

[2:07 PM] Kamek: Wait. Do They have music if you talk too long?

[2:07 PM] Kamek: Wait

[2:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No, the trailer has music in it.

[2:07 PM] Kamek: Do we have a link

[2:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is apparently a monumental thing.

[2:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.twitch.tv/twitch

[2:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: They showed some dude carrying a normal hammer.

[2:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Nordlys War Story" "Exclusive first look in the Xbox E3 Briefing tomorrow"

[2:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now it's FIFA 19.

[2:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Be on the lookout for Alex Hunter.

[2:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was NOT a good segue.

[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They have Ronaldo.

[2:09 PM] Kamek: Soccer

[2:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: This has a weirdly depressing tone for a FIFA.

[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THAT'S NOT ALEX HUNTER

[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT'S A WHITE GUY

[2:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: NO

[2:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: KENDRICK LAMAR

[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHHH

[2:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Champions Rise"

[2:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: (I actually have no idea who that is but it might as well be)

[2:10 PM] Sooper Sekrit Agent Wendy: :smiley_indifferent:

[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh I thought it was Kendrick Lamar.

[2:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: It may still be.

[2:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably more likely than not.

[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They have a trophy on the actual stage.

[2:10 PM] RawkHawk2010: Doubt it's Kanye.

[2:10 PM] Kamek: Neat

[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The pinnacle of club football."

[2:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hans Zimmer made the trailer.

[2:10 PM] Kamek: This

[2:11 PM] Kamek: That's pretty swewt

[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You've been asking for this for a long time, and we are thrrrrrrrrilled that it's here."

[2:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: What if there was a FIFA Royale

[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ALEX HUNTER

[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHHH

[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SHE MENTIONED ALEX HUNTER

[2:11 PM] RawkHawk2010: Were we expecting for him to be back?

[2:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No, but I was hoping.

[2:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: "the heart and soul of FIFA is gameplay"

[2:12 PM] RawkHawk2010: they actually had to clarify that

[2:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There'll be a (new?) story mode with Alex Hunter, for a third time.

[2:12 PM] Kamek: Why does Alex hunter matter?

[2:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alex Hunter is the only part of FIFA that matters!

[2:12 PM] Kamek: .... Why?

[2:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "And that's our FIFA 19 neeeews. I'd like to take a minute to pause and reflect."

[2:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Gregory Hunter adopted Alex Hunter and raised him alongside Benjamin

[2:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: So it was like the Blind Side

[2:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just with soccer and not football.

[2:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh hey they mentioned Nintendo Switch getting the World Cup DLC.

[2:13 PM] Kamek: Ooo

[2:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not buying it.

[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well you're not buying DLC without the game, anyway.

[2:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: HOOLIGANISM

[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We want to invite everyone to join the celebration."

[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: whoa

[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's a FREE TRIAL of FIFA 18... on Xbox One, PS4, and EA Origin.

This is far from the first time EA snubs Nintendo over FIFA.
And not the first time it happened as relating to FIFA 18 itself.

[2:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: So no Switch.

[2:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uhhhh that isn't everyone what about Nintendo Switch?

[2:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: They don't want bad Switch online to make FIFA look bad.

[2:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: I saw Alex Hunter

[2:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: He was there in a chokehold.

[2:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They literally said "invite everyone" though... ;-;

[2:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: He was literally being attacked from behind.

[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Andrew Wilson, CEO of Electronic Arts.

[2:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think we hate this guy right?

[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, yeah.

[2:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: K needed to make sure

[2:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fuck Andrew Wilson

[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He mentions streaming and subscription being the biggest disruption to gaming.

[2:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: New team from Israel.

[2:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: To "extend" them going into cloud gaming.

[2:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: How controversial.

[2:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Are they blaming the Jews?)

[2:17 PM] RawkHawk2010:

[2:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Madden NFL coming back to the PC for the first time in over a decade.

[2:18 PM] Kamek: Vaguely interesting

[2:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: I saw Plants

[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this Kendrick Lamar too?

[2:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Good chance

[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Probably not.

[2:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Although this sounds more understandable

[2:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not every bad rap background music can be Kendrick Lamar!

[2:19 PM] Kamek: How much is origin?

[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Well, they didn't say.

[2:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Name one modern big rapper not named Kendrick Lamar they'd actually invite

[2:20 PM] Kamek: Anthem looks great in the trailer

[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Talking about new Star Wars game.

[2:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Okay Kid Cudi

[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I bet the Internet is going wild right now."

[2:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Name two they'd actually invite

[2:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order"

[2:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is creepy.

Creepy Vince Zampella of Respawn Entertainment with Andrea Rene, EA host.

[2:21 PM] Kamek: I would honestly love a Titanfall 3

[2:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: "sounds like a nice time"

[2:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: "no it's not"

[2:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: When he says it's between Star Wars 3 and 4

[2:21 PM] Kamek: Apparently if respawn entertainment did the Titanfall series

[2:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It will be holiday 2019... next year, not this year."

[2:22 PM] Kamek: So that sounds promising

[2:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this basically a booth babe?

[2:22 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not the guy in plaid.

[2:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[2:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Clearly we didn't get it quite right." - plaid dude on Star Wars Battlefront II

[2:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Completely overhaul the progression system."

[2:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is the most Stockholm guy EVER

[2:23 PM] RawkHawk2010: He's dressed like a lumberjack and everything.

[2:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Han Solo content coming next week.

[2:23 PM] Kamek: Well Solo is failing expectations

[2:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: I forgot about the Battlefield II controversy.

[2:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Totally.

[2:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, that's what everyone is thinking about this conference.

[2:24 PM] Kamek: Pay to win

[2:24 PM] Kamek: ?

[2:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Someone said Young Solo is the pinnacle of male feminism in film.

[2:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Dunno what they meant.

[2:24 PM] RawkHawk2010: Who's that.

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Grievous?

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah

[2:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: General Grevious.

[2:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah.

[2:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I dunno who spelled it right.

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Count Dooko?

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: WHo the fuck cares about Count Dooko?

[2:25 PM] Kamek: Dooku

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: He died in the first five minutes.

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: He never did anything.

[2:25 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe he did in a comic.

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Plaid man thanking people for giving feedback.

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "May the force be with you, and enjoy the rest of E3."

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Segue.

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sea of Thieves?

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...oh.

[2:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: "Maybe the Force be with you." - Hillary Rodham Clinton

[2:26 PM] Kamek: Nothing wrong with plaid

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That yarn guy.

[2:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Spiderman

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I forgot about it.

[2:26 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looked like Spiderman

[2:26 PM] Kamek: Oh yeah I forgot that was a thing

[2:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's not Spiderman.

[2:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: I have no idea what this is at all.

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Hi...it's...it's really good to see you."

[2:27 PM] Kamek: That was depressing

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's Unravel.

[2:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Are these devs all Swedes?

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yarn to symbolise love.

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: lol

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "When things are at their darkest, you find hope."

[2:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Never seen this.

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Unravel two"

[2:27 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this the catapult game?

[2:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring another yarn guy.

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Where you launch stuff ala Angry Birds?

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or Crush the Castle?

[2:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It's a game about fresh starts and second chances." (Like EA wants?)

[2:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No.

[2:28 PM] Kamek: Wasn't this a VITA game?

[2:28 PM] Kamek: I want this guy to be more excited

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: lol ludwig

[2:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The game is meant to be played with two characters, sharing one yarn.

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: second chances

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fuck

[2:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So it's horizontal Ice Climber.

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's like ARMS

[2:28 PM] RawkHawk2010: With that string

[2:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...no, my comparison is better.

[2:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Depends on how bad the whole game is.

[2:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Play the game with co-op with yourself."

[2:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well Ice  Climber is terrible.

[2:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Holding two controllers then?

[2:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can carry the other character.

[2:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And merge into one yarn dude.

[2:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: I honestly have no memory of this.

[2:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Turkey

[2:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well avians are good.

[2:29 PM] Kamek: The art style is beautiful

[2:29 PM] RawkHawk2010: Can't go wrong with avians.

Yarnys in Unravel Two. The much-hyped avian is on the left. (The yarn people are spelled Yarny.)

[2:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reminds me slightly of Snipperclips.

[2:30 PM] Kamek: I love the look

[2:30 PM] RawkHawk2010: Looks like what Kamek was playing

[2:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just horizontal

[2:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Note that drop-in/drop-out multiplayer.

[2:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And the weird humans in the background.

[2:31 PM] Kamek: ?

[2:31 PM] Kamek: What are you talking about rawk

[2:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Game with the pickaxe

[2:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: Where you were swinging up.

[2:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That you streamed.

[2:31 PM] RawkHawk2010: This has you swinging straight

[2:31 PM] Kamek: ....

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is the turkey the only onstacle.

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: obstacle*

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: Unravel TWO?

[2:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, because it's a sequel.

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: There was an Unravel One? >.>

[2:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yes.

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: No memory of any of this.

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: None.

[2:32 PM] RawkHawk2010: When did Unravel One come out.

[2:32 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It was in EA E3 2016 and 2015.

[2:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It released in February 2016.

[2:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this the Unravel Two reveal?

[2:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yes.

[2:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh

[2:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Aight

[2:33 PM] Kamek: It's very whisicot

[2:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Whimsical?

[2:33 PM] RawkHawk2010: Apricot*

[2:34 PM] Kamek: Yes whimsicot

[2:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Pokémon?

[2:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "You'll be able to take these two Yarnies on their adventure today. The game is finished. It's out."

[2:34 PM] RawkHawk2010: "OH MY GOOOOOOD!"

[2:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: As part of EA Originals.

[2:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: A Way Out

[2:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well I remember this.

[2:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Last year you may remember Josef Farez was here, and at The Game Awards."

[2:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fresh

[2:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: Just like The Banana

[2:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They probably banned him from coming to live appearances.

[2:35 PM] RawkHawk2010: see KoopaTV's Banana article.

[2:35 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Next EA Originals title, from a studio in Berlin.

[2:36 PM] Kamek: Omg

[2:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Sea of Solitude", "Cornelia Geppert"?

[2:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Sea of Solitude

[2:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Woman has trouble breathing.

[2:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: As opposed to...well, yeah.

[2:36 PM] Kamek: A way out has an amazing story

[2:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Jo Mei Games"

[2:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She sounds like she's drowning in said sea of solitude.

[2:36 PM] Kamek: Another À Way Out would be great

[2:36 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is this that game from last year that we compared to Wind Waker?

[2:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No.

[2:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "When humans get too lonely, they turn into monsters."

[2:37 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RIP Vortex

[2:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: lol

[2:37 PM] RawkHawk2010: ooof

[2:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: She started writing this when was the loneliest in her life.

[2:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Clinical depression-triggered art.(edited)

[2:38 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It's NOT a made-up story."

[2:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: ala Neon Genesis Evangelion

[2:38 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or Mother 64

[2:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Another a young woman named Kaye?

[2:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She feels darkness and anger.

[2:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Katty Kaye from BBC?

[2:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Kaye Faraday from Ace Attorney Investigations?

[2:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She turns into a monster.

[2:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: You know about that?

[2:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Eh?

[2:39 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kaye Faraday becoming a monster.

[2:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...no?

[2:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm just saying what the woman was saying.

[2:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH

[2:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So this whole game is The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess... THAT cutscene?

[2:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: This reminds me of the final battle of Sonic Adventure

[2:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Coming early 2019"

[2:40 PM] RawkHawk2010: The Chaos-flooded city

[2:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Segue to Kendrick Lamar/basketball.

[2:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: The One

[2:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: 1 becoming One is a meme

[2:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: That's why I just call 1 One now.

[2:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring sneakers.

[2:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is NOT Kendrick btw

[2:41 PM] RawkHawk2010: This rapper is too baritone.

[2:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "This is my squad."

NBA Live 19

[2:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Does this count as diversity?

[2:42 PM] RawkHawk2010: Squad up.

[2:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: eSports trailer.

[2:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Since when is Madden an eSports title?

[2:42 PM] Kamek: Esports

[2:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: Yeah I didn't know Madden was an eSport.

[2:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Young Kiv" is the Madden NFL 18 Champion.

[2:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Young Kiv is talking trash for literally no reason.

[2:43 PM] RawkHawk2010: I thought eSports were games played in more than one country.

[2:43 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Young Kiv reminds me of Gladion.

[2:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Nerd voice

[2:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I've always been a competitor...uh... in high school I broke my arm... so I picked up Madden..."

[2:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Unexpected nerd voice

[2:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Like Jared Trump

[2:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Kushner*

[2:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So he has a totally different voice when he's trash-talking.

[2:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy sounds sooo emo.

[2:44 PM] RawkHawk2010: Look at both dudes' pants.

[2:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "There's a lot of, you know, bling, on that belt."

[2:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: They're complete opposites.

[2:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "It's lit"

[2:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: NIGGA STOLE MY BELT

[2:45 PM] RawkHawk2010: (That literally just happened.)

(KoopaTV does not endorse racism, but... it's true.)

[2:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: LOLl

[2:45 PM] Kamek: Rawk we're professionals

[2:45 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: *LOL

[2:46 PM] Kamek: ....

[2:46 PM] Kamek: that's an odd typo to make

[2:46 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Random red white and blue lights.

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Michael Martinez and Nathanias.

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Who?

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: First look at brand-new mobile game.

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Destroy the opponent's base to win."

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: GIANT NUCLEAR MISSILE AT THE CENTRE OF THE MAP

[2:47 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Play Soviet Missile Run for a much better missile-based game)

[2:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: Ink Control?

[2:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Competitive mobile gaming phenomenon, Nick at Night!"

[2:48 PM] Kamek: Isn't nick at nite copyrighted?

[2:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's competitive mobile gaming to be a phenomenon at?

[2:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well it's not nighttime.

[2:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "nickatnyte"

[2:48 PM] Kamek: Oh

[2:48 PM] RawkHawk2010: Probably at a disadvantage.

[2:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "iNcontroL"

[2:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They have a "PRE-ALPHA" watermark.

[2:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: InKontrol would be a good Splatoon name.

[2:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Their characters look like they're Madden footballers.

[2:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or INKontrol*

[2:49 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: With football jerseys.

[2:49 PM] RawkHawk2010: This is stupid.

[2:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: We can barely see anything.

[2:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not paying attention to the game.

[2:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I can't, even if I wanted to.

[2:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm just disgusted by the guy's thumbs.

[2:50 PM] RawkHawk2010: Worst part of E3 thus far I think.

[2:50 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: What's this game called?

[2:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: Attention is pulled more towards hands than game.

[2:51 PM] Kamek: Yeah this isn't exciting

[2:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: That's bad.

[2:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...did they say the name?

[2:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well now we can see.

[2:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: May not have a name.

[2:51 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's pre-alpha.

[2:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well what the hell do I save the file name as?

[2:51 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I took a screenshot of the dude's thumbs.

[2:52 PM] RawkHawk2010: "thumbs"

[2:52 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: crappy-mobile-game-ea-play-2018

Why did they think this was a good idea?

[2:52 PM] RawkHawk2010: or that

[2:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't remember companies devoting this much time to a mobile game during a presentation.

[2:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is this a first?

[2:53 PM] Kamek: My boss is talking to his discord

[2:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's been 7 minutes.

[2:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: We need a sleep emoji.

[2:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: Well

[2:53 PM] Kamek: About how disappointed he is

[2:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: :koopa_shell:

[2:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: But that makes it look like someone's leaving

[2:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Worldwide reveal of Command  & Conquer: Rivals"

[2:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: oh

[2:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: We need something for something putting us the fuck to sleep

[2:53 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Guess I gotta change the file name.

[2:53 PM] RawkHawk2010: Boredom

[2:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Giant enemy crab?

[2:54 PM] Kamek: Ooo

[2:54 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think this is a trailer for what we just saw.

[2:54 PM] Kamek: It's a mobile game ad

[2:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I see mobile game ads on Fox News.

[2:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Mobile Strike"

[2:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Download it on the app store"

[2:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: The characters are using smartphones in-game to play.

[2:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Why do they think the octogenarians watching Fox News would want some dumb free-to-play mobile game?

[2:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They want to buy pillows!

[2:55 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (And they'll need them, watching this conference.)

[2:55 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh yeah Mike Lindell never responded to my tweet asking if he likes pillow fights.

[2:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We are always trying to learn, and listen, and strive to be better." - CEO Andrew Wilson returning

[2:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Choice" "What devices you play on" unless you have a Nintendo Switch and want to be part of the "everyone" they said could play the FIFA 18 free trial.

[2:56 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Most importantly, the games are fun."

We won't get that from a conference today!

[2:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, Unravel Two was the most promising thing today.

[2:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Wasn't there a recent year where we thought EA had the best conference all the way til Nintendo?

[2:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: Like it was actually kinda good?

[2:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Naah.

[2:57 PM] RawkHawk2010: There was something surprising that was.

[2:57 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "representation and equality are not something we strive for, but are the standard."

[2:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: He For She

[2:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're talking about anti-bullying, because we keep bullying EA for being a sucky company.

[2:58 PM] RawkHawk2010: I think Emma Watson is the leader of that.

[2:58 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, they're showing Anthem now for last.

[2:58 PM] Kamek: Looks pretty

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not sure I know what Anthem is unless it's the game where someone was flying through a valley in a mech.

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Walls.

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Oh yeah

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Was right!

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's someone flying through a valley in a mech!

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Or canyon.

[2:59 PM] RawkHawk2010: Same word.

[2:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So is this in-game footage?

[3:00 PM] Kamek: I mean that's not going to happen in game

[3:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Surely not

[3:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, so what's the point?

[3:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Most games do this

[3:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, they're seizure-flashing in-game footage.

[3:00 PM] Kamek: Hype

[3:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "HOW COOL IS THAT TRAILEEEEER?!" - Andrea Rene

[3:00 PM] RawkHawk2010: Fake Hype, or Fake News as we now call it

[3:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She's shrill.

[3:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We're ALL BioWare fans."

[3:01 PM] Kamek: Aw

[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, I thought the conference was going to end at the hour.

[3:01 PM] Kamek: She's cute

[3:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: So she looks like Kat Timpf but is internally the opposite?

[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But no, they're doing a "DEEP DIVE" into Anthem.

[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She looks nothing like Kat Timpf.

[3:01 PM] RawkHawk2010: She has glasses.

[3:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But not ridiculous ones.

[3:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We have the best fans." - Casey Hudson, general manager of BioWare

[3:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I know everyone says they have the best fans (even we say that at KoopaTV), but I'm pretty sure BioWare objectively does not have the best fans.

[3:02 PM] RawkHawk2010: So are they gonna do a thing where they play a game and act like the conference isn't * really * over but it totally is

[3:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, like what Ubisoft did with Assassin's Creed last year(?).

[3:03 PM] RawkHawk2010: yes

[3:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Our world, my story."

[3:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "This is a living shared world." Like weather and time.

[3:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So isn't this just an MMORPG?

[3:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But there's a single-player story.

"We can add story for years to come."

[3:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay, so they designed the game so you can put more DLC into it.

[3:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: She has dinosaur arms.

[3:05 PM] RawkHawk2010: lol

[3:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Where they're all stubby and close to her chest.

[3:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Definitely mech flying over a valley.

[3:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Reminds me of those dolls/skells from Xenoblade Chronicles X

[3:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Not that I know anything about that

[3:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're talking about how much work BioWare has to do to make a new IP.

[3:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Non-sarcasm

[3:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is definitely filler.

[3:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Alright fuck this it's over

[3:06 PM] RawkHawk2010: Thoughts?

[3:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Imagine if they asked every developer on the stage how much work they did to make a new game.

[3:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not sure EA was even trying for this.

[3:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I mean, before you can tell they were being try-hard in their failure.

[3:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: I liked when they had the dudes up there with the belt.

[3:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: That was exciting.

[3:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: And that was literally it.

[3:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The dudes up there with the belt didn't even DO anything.

[3:07 PM] RawkHawk2010: So it wasn't completely awful.

[3:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Like, why were they there at all?

[3:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: That's not enough to move it up a letter though.

[3:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They were talking about an already-released game!

[3:08 PM] RawkHawk2010: F Minus.

[3:09 PM] RawkHawk2010: "Anti-bullying? You bullying my ass with this shitty conference." - Twitterer

[3:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're taking questions.

[3:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: From Twitter.

[3:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...They're asking a question from June 1.

[3:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: LOL

[3:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Another June 1 question.

[3:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can purchase a cosmetic and vanity item, no lootboxes or paying to win.

[3:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Complete from the get-go."

[3:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: All of these questions are from June 1, so you know this is all pre-scripted.

[3:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I know you all are on the edges of your seats." - Andrea Rene

[3:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I am firmly at the very back of my chair.

[3:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.koopatv.org/2017/06/watchin-E3-in-our-beautiful-chairs.html

[3:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Do we all have the same chairs since last year?

[3:13 PM] RawkHawk2010: yes

[3:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: In the same condition except the buttons on the maintenance man shirt popped off and it doesn't stay firmly attached.

[3:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Guns

[3:14 PM] RawkHawk2010: Boring ones

[3:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: Characters talking or people?

[3:15 PM] RawkHawk2010: We ask this every E3.

[3:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not even paying attention to this to be honest.

[3:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's in-game.

[3:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They have captions.

[3:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: If it's captioned it's obviously in-game.

[3:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: COMBO grenade.

[3:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: As soon as your character hits the ground, the gameplay becomes ridiculously boring.

[3:16 PM] RawkHawk2010: It's cool as long as you're in the air...?

[3:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Player: What the hell was that?

[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Does that represent your own character?

[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Named Player?

[3:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: No fall damage.

[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Is that a Metroid enemy?

[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...oh.

Queen Metroid from Metroid II, maybe?

[3:17 PM] RawkHawk2010: That looked like Scalebound.

[3:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...It cut to the logo.

[3:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "HOW COOL IS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" - Shrill Andrea Rene

[3:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I'm sure the question on everyone's mind... when do we get to plaaaaaay?"

February 22, 2019

[3:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Xbox One, PS4, and PC.

[3:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHEN IS THIS OVER?

[3:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Round of applause to all the developers.

[3:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: "Some of what you saw today you have to wait to play."

[3:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Command & Conquer: Rivals is out today, too.

[3:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Is anybody ready to come home and download anything? ...No?"

[3:19 PM] RawkHawk2010: Is all shown games coming out the day of the conference gonna become an industry standard?

[3:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're having a FIFA 18 live tournament, which is EA's answer to the Super Smash Bros. game for the Nintendo Switch system tournament.

[3:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Are we watching that?

[3:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...the FIFA tournament.

[3:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Obviously we'll watch the Smash one when it happens.

[3:20 PM] RawkHawk2010: Maybe five minutes of a FIFA tournament

[3:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh, Twitch just cut out.

[3:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nevermind.

[3:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THAT'S IT.

[3:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SEE Y'ALL TOMORROW FOR MORE E3 COVERAGE.


(And hopefully it won't be dreadful.)

[3:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: Everyone in the Twitch chat giving it an F.

[3:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: What do y'all give it.

[3:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I know we like to be contrarian, but...

[3:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...I fully agree with the consensus!

[3:21 PM] RawkHawk2010: @Kamek ?

[3:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't think Kamek is coming back.

[3:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I don't blame him.


Hopefully YOU come back tomorrow, since much better companies with a track record of not being flat-out terrible in their conferences will be presenting! Do you have a contrarian opinion to anything KoopaTV said in the log, or do you agree with KoopaTV's assessment of EA's E3 2018? Comment away!


Don't be surprised that KoopaTV dislikes EA's conferences. Just check out the Electronic Arts E3 2017 conference live reactions!
Next conference: Microsoft!