Ah, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You know, back in the day I used to spell it “Pencilvania” and I still don't see anything wrong with that.
Philadelphia, or “Philly”, is the place where the best frozen goods brand, PhillySwirl, had their start. The United States of America's Declaration of Independence was drafted there. And, from July 25–July 28, the Democratic National Convention took place there to nominate Hillary Rodham Clinton as the Democratic Party's nominee for president of the United States!
(...So, let's all agree that PhillySwirl is the best thing of those.)
I don't know if the different nights were supposed to have themes, since they kinda just had the same thing every night. They even had repeat speakers. But, the highlights were something like this:
- July 25 — First Lady Michelle Obama and Bernie Sanders
- July 26 — President William Jefferson Clinton
- July 27 — President Barack Hussein Obama
- July 28 — Hillary Clinton
So they booed and protested at every opportunity they could. I couldn't be more proud.
Bernie Sanders himself was calling for party unity and was trying to be a (very) elder statesman, but his supporters weren't accepting the selling out. They even boo'd Elizabeth Warren bemoaning that they trusted her and she turned against them. Either way, Bernie said he's the most disappointed one of all:
|Bernie doesn't seem amused when Hillary Clinton was giving him a shout-out. |
...Also, nice watch.
Bill Clinton put me to sleep. So did President Barack Hussein Obama. They think America is going just great.
As for Hillary Clinton's speech? Well, this time it wasn't me going to sleep, but her own husband:
Hillary Clinton's speech was so, um, good. Her delivery was perfect. Perfect tone, pitch, and tempo. Her message is just what America needs. She really made the convention. ...Yup.
|Hillary Clinton dressed like a nurse so she could HEAL America! ...It's just fine, however, and Obama is a great president!|
(Injection Fairy Lily owned by Konami.)
(Hillary Clinton owned by Wall Street.)
They also kept lying about Trump's business record, constantly calling him a scammer and a con artist, using Trump University as an example.
There was a speaker, Cheryl Lankford, who gave a story about how Donald Trump screwed her of the money the Department of Defense gave her after her veteran husband died, or something, by her enrollment into Trump University. She said it was a total scam.
If that's the case, why does her professional website list her enrollment at Trump University as a qualification?
|“She has also been enrolled in Trump University.” In a paragraph about her qualifications and education.|
Check it out for yourself here before she removes it or something.
Now, you tell me: If you thought you were participating in a scam, would you put that on what's basically a curriculum vitae? The site exists to establish her personal brand. She claimed in her speech that she was embarrassed to participate at Trump University. If she's trying to get hired as a “top female executive”, she wouldn't put “I'm a sucker with bad judgment” as a qualification.
Unless, of course, she thought it was a good investment in yourself and she is just lying. I wonder how much she was compensated on the side for the speech. Though it wouldn't surprise me if she just lied on national television and exposed herself as a fool for no compensation. She does seem like a bad businesswoman.
...How bad of a businessman am I for watching this whole convention for free? It was torturous.
The next thing to really look forward to between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the presidential debates between them, taking place in September and October. KoopaTV will be all over that. In the meantime, KoopaTV will be keeping the candidates accountable in some way. Look forward to KoopaTV's OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT pretty soon. KoopaTV guarantees you will be able to correctly guess who it'll be, and it won't be King Bowser Koopa.
For the Fair & Balanced perspective on the Republican National Convention 2016, click here.
It took until September, but the OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT has arrived!