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Friday, December 24, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 56: My Bad Recess

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I struggle to get through recess. SAD!

Welcome to KoopaTV's Fitness Friday series, where we document our quest for a better physical health. If you've been keeping up with the latest entries (like last week's), you'll know that I'm trying to overcome an actual physical issue right now (bursitis at the left hip, which is another way of saying my bones are rubbing into my muscles whenever I move my hip... which is painful). I've had this issue for a whole month now, so I probably need to see a physical therapist. In any case, you're... not really supposed to be doing a lot of physical exercise while injured like this, but fortunately for me, World 56: Fitness Master Lv. 316 of Ring Fit Adventure is based off of World 33: Extra Fitness Lv. 211, which is a minigame compilation that itself was based off of World 10: Grandminion Gauntlet. In other words, it's the breather world I've needed. There's a lot of Game Gyms and not much running around courses.

Ring Fit Adventure World 56 Fitniss Master Lv. 316 best offense is a good recess intro
I think a good recess makes for the good defence, actually.
By the way, as you read this fitness log, keep in mind I once wrote an article advocating for cancelling recess altogether.


The world intro even acknowledges it's a breather level. Before, the Grandminions—annoying children—would chime in about the Game Gyms, but they're nowhere to be found. So let's start clearing these. First is Gluting Gallery (Advanced)—a minigame where you Overhead Side Bend into incoming tokens for points and avoid bombs—which offered me a Topaz stone for A rank or above completion. (The same minimum rank requirement found in Extra Fitness.) After scoring that, by my calculations, I'll only need one more Topaz stone to have enough for all of my General Store needs... though I'm well short on actual funds to do so. I got a pretty painless perfect score on that. Next is Robo-Wrecker (Advanced)—a minigame where you rotate the Ring-Con to control a set of robot-squishing tools between an inner ring and an outer ring and you push to squish in and pull to squish out—which gave me one bottle of Pear Juice (which changes all Fit Skills to Green-coloured, and then further increases all Green-coloured Fit Skills attack power by ↑↑) for a satisfactory A rank. And then there was Squat Goals (Advanced)—a minigame where you must propel yourself from a trampoline contraption with squats to jump and grab tokens while avoiding bombs—which gave me 500 coins when I earned an A rank. It's really a trick to squat about 30 times in quick succession.

Clearing those three Game Gyms gave me access to three more. First of those is Thigh Rider (Advanced)—a minigame where you sit down with the Ring-Con between your thighs and you squeeze them to make your robo-kart jump to collect tokens and avoid bombs—where I won two Papaya Sodas (which will guarantee an extra rush attack in battle on the turn you drink one) with an A rank. The second is Aerochute (Advanced)—a minigame where you hold the Ring-Con above your head like a parachute as you're falling down through tokens, with the requirement that you need to pull the Ring-Con to slow your descent and properly aim yourself to pass through the tokens—where I got 500 coins for an A rank. There have been a number of people who have asked me how I find Aerochute so easy, and... really, I just open up the parachute as I'm going through the tokens to make sure I'm not missing them. You need to lean forward, backward, left, and/or right while the Ring-Con is being pulled to move where you want to go. If you have trouble with it, I'd really like to see a recording (hold down the R button on the Joy-Con attached to the Ring-Con to save the last 30 seconds of footage) so I can diagnose the issue.

And finally, the third of this second group of Game Gyms is my nemesis, Core Crushing (Advanced). This is the only Ring Fit Adventure minigame I've never been able to S rank before. I did get an A rank on this in my first try (with 13050 points) and won a Dragon Fruit, but today won't be the day where I grind the Game Gym and try to S rank it. Check out my most recent rant about Core Crushing (Advanced) on Week 47's Fitness Log (the very first one for Fitness Master), which is when I got my current high score of 14000 points.

I'm already 54% through the world and in just six and a half minutes of in-game time. There are five levels left in the world, and I'll do one more today, three more the next time, and save the boss fight for a third day. So what's left for today? The Finishing School, where I must fight Guru Andma in one vs. one combat. Guru Andma claims that she and her Grandminions are very inspired by me. While Guru Andma doesn't have an elemental weakness, her fight is designed to be engaging and quick. How? Well, on turn one, after I used my Overhead Bend Abs Fit Skill, Guru Andma immediately countered with an Arms-based SUPER ATTACK I had to Front Press against for about 38 seconds. The length, I'm pretty sure, depends on your difficulty level. (Mine is the highest, at 38.) Upon successful guard, the SUPER ATTACK is deflected back at Guru Andma, and she takes damage. On my second turn, I Ring Raise Comboed (Legs Fit Skill) Guru Andma and she counter-attacked with an Abs-based SUPER ATTACK that I unfortunately had to sustain a Seated Forward Press for about 36 seconds. You might think sitting is nice (and it was, for Thigh Rider), but it's... not really in my condition. And on Guru Andma's third turn, she SUPER ATTACKed a giant leg, which I had to HOLD A SQUAT FOR ~38 SECONDS. And I did the bare minimum to be able to deflect it and not get hit... which took disproportionately more effort in my condition than it would've otherwise. Afterwards, I defeated Guru Andma (and earned the Ring-Raise-Combo Omega Title for doing a total of at least 5000 Ring Raise Combos). Guru Andma believes I'm the ideal role model to take care of the Grandminions. I... refuse this responsibility, and will leave them as soon as World 56 is over. (We still haven't SEEN them in World 56 yet. For all I know, they're dead. Or maybe they grew up into rebellious teenagers by now.)


Ring Fit Adventure Guru Andma defeated Finishing School World 56 entertain you more
[S]HE IS ENTERTAINER!
(Yet she has the least quotable/most boring lines of any major character here.)


On Monday, my first two tasks were to clear the warp zone of the Rare Hoplin fight and the Gold Hoplin fight, each triggerable from the overworld map and with two enemies per fight that you can two-round KO with three-range Fit Skills. They could flee between the rounds... but the ones I fought didn't. I moved on to the Floating Waterway. And, uh, ARGH, my left hip really is not liking this one bit. Certain exercises and movements just are not going to end well. I can handle some squats (I mean, yesterday I did the 38 second squat), but things I used to train specifically for, like the Side Step for the Olympic Games? I just can't do that. I know I was all gung-ho yesterday about clearing all of the warp zone in one day, but... I'm not feeling it. Sorry. Day over. ...I suppose it doesn't help that I tried to Overhead Squat on Floating Waterway's last enemy group. I didn't do that good. And my exercise clothing kinda disintegrated while doing that. (Specifically, the button on my exercise shorts flew off while Overhead Squatting.)

It was at this time that I finally mailed my primary care provider about my left hip pain that's been going on for four whole weeks now. ...Took another ibuprofen, too.

On Tuesday and Wednesday I didn't touch Ring Fit Adventure because I was too busy taking regular doses of ibuprofen, as opposed to under-dosing on it. (In other words, 400 milligrams every four to six hours as opposed to 200 milligrams for the whole day.) I do have a doctor's appointment scheduled for January 3, though!


By Thursday, my pain was numbed to the point where I could physically function and do things, so I decided to try Ring Fit Adventure again. My first test is the Fusion Waterway. The first obstacle is a very short Squad-powered cart segment into a monster fight with one Belldog. It was simple enough, since I can 2RKO it with relatively leisurely one-range Fit Skills. Then there were a couple more Squat-powered cart segments of more substantive length, and I might actually prefer doing those than actual running through the course. That brought me to a five-monster group to fight. Fortunately, they can all be 2RKO'd by five-range Fit Skills. After that was an Overhead Ring Pull pulley segment, which is easy enough, and then some more running... To the last Squat-powered cart segment, which featured three Robbin ravens trying to mug a crippled guy (me) on a Squat cart, so I had to squat fast enough to outpace them until I got to the end of the level. Somehow, I successfully managed to evade them and clear it!

Ring Fit Adventure Robbin crows ravens Fusion Waterway quick let's hurry out of here
These are the Robbins that will try to take money from a crippled person.
...Though if I were them, I'd do the same.
If this world is supposed to be recess, then they're literally trying to get my lunch money.
(Or my clothing money, since I'm stockpiling funds just to buy outfits.)


And from there I got access to the world's last overworld Treasure Chest, containing a pathetic Defense Drink. I also got access to the last level of the warp zone, a four-round Battle Gym. The Battle Gym handed me a Topaz stone for completing it, which is very nice to resell. I realised that I don't know how enemy move order goes. Yeah, it's me who goes first and then the enemies, but how is it determined which enemy attacks first in a group? I'm wondering since wave 2 had five enemies, and the Red Megaphauna went after the other four enemies attacked, and then gave its enthusiastic support to buff all of their attack stats. ...After they had already attacked that turn. It'd be more effective if Megaphauna went first to buff the other monsters’ attack power and THEN they used that buffed power to hit me. Anyway, that wasn't that bad to clear through.

On Friday, I was feeling even better than I was Thursday. And that's good, because it's time for a boss fight. I do admit that I need to put more weight on my right leg than my left leg, which still has weakness in it. Fortunately, the Dragaux Stadium course is mostly an Overhead Ring Pull pulley segment as opposed to running—and Ring Fit Adventure isn't registering my leg movements as running anyway (since I'm physically incapable of really doing so right now), so it's good I'm spared that or else I'd take a long time to reach Dragaux. Though it seems like Dragaux would prefer if I take my time, since he's finally realised the purpose of sitting on balance balls (or in his case, a living Blue Puffersquish). He'd like to sit on one all day, but he has other training to do... like punching me.

Ring Fit Adventure sitting on balance ball trains core Dragaux Blue Puffersquish
I DO need to work my core... I guess that means I need my own Puffersquish to sit on?


Dragaux wouldn't get to punching me for most of the fight, however. He started still balancing on the Blue Puffersquish, but he was often too wobbly to actually attack me. When he did, he just put more weight on the Puffersquish (still balancing on it) to blow some air at me, for minimal damage. After four turns (after Dragaux lost half of his health), he fell off the Blue Puffersquish (which rolled away, never to be seen again), giving me a free rush attack. Once Dragaux got up on his feet, THEN he could be punching. But I out-damaged him by orders of magnitude, and Dragaux fell again... this time in defeat. (And this time, dropping money and a Topaz stone.) Dragaux claimed my lower body is like a trunk that'd require an industrial chainsaw to cut down, and he's running out of ways to challenge me. He flew off, wondering what he can do in the next world.

Ring Fit Adventure Week World 56 Fitness Master Lv. 316 Exercise Log
This really could've been done in three days if I wasn't in pain.
If I can only play at this rate, I'll never be able to do the next worlds in one week.



KoopaTV probably won't have a Christmas article for 2021, so this is what you get instead. Ludwig isn't sure if he'll be able to even physically handle the next world in his condition, since it's a serious world and not a breather level and he struggled with that. Cancelling recess seems like an even better idea now.


Well, what do you know, Ludwig handled World 57.

10 comments :

  1. Well I hope that after all that you’ll be resting today. Merry Christmas Ludwig.

    Also, “For all I know their dead, or have grown into rebellious teenagers by now”. That was funny, more of this please. You don’t think that after beating this, you’ll have to replay the game a fourth time…do you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also, you made me think I made a homophone typo, but you just didn't actually copy-paste my quote. <.<

      Delete
    2. When I have 2 BABIES to raise, work to do, an apartment to tend to, plush commissions to work on, I can be lazy with copying and pasting quotes.

      Delete
    3. Copy-pasting quotes isn't a sign of laziness, it's... a commitment to accuracy!

      Delete
    4. -ShinyGirafarig

      Hey, when you got two babies you do whatcha gotta do. I know firsthand It’s nonstop changing and crying for many many months. Of course it’s all worth it in the end, but those diapers are just foul.
      I’m sure your doing a great job, sincerely.

      -Ludwig

      As the venerable leader of the Gordo I can’t have them thinking that I’m snatching the words right out of another commanders mouth. I must paraphrase and if something gets lost in translation then that just adds to the fun as I see it!

      Delete
    5. It's not snatching... it's paying proper respect and tribute to.

      This is why the Gordo can't coordinate well enough together. >:(

      Delete
    6. Excuse me?? How dare you make such an insinuation, this is grounds for war!

      But then again, I’m thinking of retiring in a few years, so maybe we’ll put the war on hold for now

      Delete
    7. ...
      Yeah, fighting a cross-universe war seems difficult.

      That's why it's taken the plumber a long time to incrementally work towards that.

      Delete

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