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Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Nintendo Labo... SMASH Kit?! Oh no!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Cardboard does have spirits. And they're dangerous.

Any hour now, Nintendo is going to publish their report covering their financial results between April 1, 2018 and March 30, 2019. Then they'll start a new fiscal year. That's always a big deal in terms of news and interesting analysis, and you can bet it'll be the topic of a KoopaTV article in the very near future. But not tonight. Tonight, there's some bad news to report.

The Nintendo Labo has invaded Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in a way more pervasive than a mere Mii costume. There is an entire Spirits event dedicated to four new Spirits added to the game post-release that are “exclusive” to this event. Added...for free, because no one would ever pay DLC money for these.

Nintendo Labo Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Spirit event kit Toy-Con Robot Car VR Goggles Professor Riggs Plaise Lerna
There are four Spirits, and each gets six dedicated hours. Every. Day.

The event lasts for five days, while normal Spirit events only last three.

The sneaky Toy-Con Robot is present, as is the stealthy Toy-Con Car (the worst of the vehicle kit), and the recent and really evil Toy-Con VR Goggles.

I have no idea who Professor Riggs, Professor Plaise, or Professor Lerna are. I think they each have full names that are some kind of pun. Regardless, I wasn't aware that the “Nintendo Labo series” has characters in it, or that it has more original characters than Paper Mario: Sticker Star.

The presence of original characters doesn't make me like the Labo more or anything. These professors are just the latest example of how academia operates against the interests of the average person.

Personally, I'd prefer four free Spirit Battles featuring Rawk Hawk, Maya Fey, Franziska von Karma, and Godot. I even wrote out how each of those would work!

Ludwig hopes that the Labo ceases to infect Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and that maybe this whole thing is a joke. Boycotting the event won't do any good, since there was already a cardboard box Spirit. That's just matching the already-established Trojan tactics of the Labo.

It wasn't enough for the VR Goggles to become a Spirit. Now they're compatible with the game itself.
Ludwig got his one and only Spirit Battle thanks to the Toy-Con Car.

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