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Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The Battle Flag of George Zimmerman

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Preserving culture and fighting the media.

Readers of ZimmermanTV (that's KoopaTV when we've caught a cold) know that recently, George Zimmerman has been having trouble finding good people to associate with. He has a Mario-partying ex-girlfriend who thinks he's crazy. He has a truly crazy stalker who literally tried to kill him, and that particular guy is currently in the judicial system for that.

HOWEVER, he has finally found good company. Someone who is actually successful and owns a small business: Another gun store, the Florida Gun Supply. (We sorta hope that George Zimmerman won't have to physically guard this one.) It's Mr. Andy Hallinan. The two have made a "mini-documentary" together. You see, Mr. Hallinan doesn't want Radical Islam purchasing guns from him or participating in gun safety classes that he is making free for everyone else. In fact, he proclaimed he would deny service. So CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations; a well-known terrorism support group) sued Florida Gun Supply for illegal discrimination that violates Muslims' civil rights, or whatever.

So to support his friend, George Zimmerman is teaming up with Andy Hallinan to rescue America.

It's actually pretty noble of George Zimmerman. He was so touched by patriots around the country contributing to his legal defence fund that he's trying to raise money for his own friend's defence. ...Though while Zimmerman was clearly on the right side of the law, as of now I cannot make the same judgment for Mr. Hallinan.

Still, everything Hallinan has said about racial relations, evil, the media's distortions, being armed, and the Battle Flag of Northern Virginia in America is true. Those are all topics we've written about over and over!

George Zimmerman agrees. And so he painted this:

"The 2nd Protects Our 1st."

George Zimmerman claims to have been painting an American Flag at first, but after hearing Mr. Hallinan's story he painted a Confederate Flag over it. (Mr. Hallinan and Florida Gun Supply brought up the Battle Flag imagery first to the discussion.) Zimmerman then said that the tagline, "The 2nd Protects Our 1st", has a double meaning:
  1. The Battle Flag protects the American Flag. (Well, the American Flag tried to destroy the Battle Flag 150 years ago, but...)
  2. The 2nd Amendment protects the 1st Amendment. This one is absolutely true, and it's the moral lesson behind KoopaTV's videogame Defend Anita Sarkeesian.
Historical accuracy aside (even though that historical inaccuracy is the entire basis of Zimmerman's fund-raising attempt), Zimmerman has a way with language that we should appreciate.

...Unfortunately, he's totally clueless at math.  (How is that 65.94% savings?!)

If you buy the print (with its dubiously-labeled cost savings) then you can freely enter to win the real painting! And then you could sell it if you wanted to and make a ton of cash! And even if you don't win, you can still get the print — hand-signed by George Zimmerman.

But not a penny more?
I think this is more valuable than Zimmerman's first painting!

On that note, isn't Zimmerman the manufacturer? So he's giving a suggested price lower than his... suggested price? Whatever. Whatever price it is, how will they split the proceeds?
"We said in the video we would give a portion of the proceeds to the Boys and Girls Club, but they then told me they didn't want me to use their name in my video. We were just trying to support them!"
I wonder why they wouldn't want that! I hope they still give them the proceeds.

Ultimately, the biggest surprise for me is that George Zimmerman is now connecting himself with good old-fashioned Southern pride. He never struck me as the type, but it's awesome that he's embracing it. It's also nice to see KoopaTV's concepts that we've written about until we're blue in the hair (...oh wait) are joining together. It's restored my dwindling respect for Mr. Zimmerman, and now I don't have to loathe when ZimmermanTV comes on.

So we'll keep an eye out for any developments, because this is definitely a story worth following.

Ludwig won't buy a Confederate Flag print from Florida Gun Supply/George Zimmerman because he doesn't trust his money with people who cannot do percentages. That includes the federal government. Instead, you should purchase KoopaTV's goods off the KoopaTV Store!

Listen to KoopaTV's ode to gun ownership here!

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