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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

PoliticsNation with Al Sharpton Moving to Sundays Only

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It won't be one of those mega church shows, though.

We have a very important history with the Reverend Al Sharpton. Whether we trash him for race-baiting in the videogame industry, try to draft him for a celebrity boxing match with George Zimmerman, or make an amazing videogame (that you can play off your browser for free right here) that features his likeness, Al Sharpton is everywhere. We even endorse him as a source to get information, though some have theorised that we are only making a joke.

So we are taking the time out of our slow news week busy schedule to bring you the big news in Reverend Al's life: PoliticsNation will be dissolved from being Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday at 6 PM Eastern for an hour to only being on at Sunday mornings at 8 AM for an hour starting October 4. Al Sharpton will reportedly then go preach to a church after the show airs. 'cause he's a reverend, right?

PoliticsNation Reverend Al Sharpton Ferguson Forward show
Al Sharpton is going to cut someone with that piece of paper. Note his cold face.

Al Sharpton doesn't take this as a demotion. In fact, he believes he will be the one setting the agenda for the day because 8 AM is before the other Sunday shows. So he's the first and premier figure in the weekend TV media landscape.

That got me thinking... should KoopaTV do the same thing?

PoliticsNation Reverend Al Sharpton glasses interview
Al Sharpton dons a pair of glasses to look smarter in front of his guest, who doesn't seem very happy.

Should KoopaTV move to Sundays only? So once-a-week publishing instead of every weekday? We're much in the same situation as Al Sharpton: Very hilarious daily (like KoopaTV, Sharpton has never missed a weekday) content provider that could always appreciate getting higher ratings. Like the Reverend Al Sharpton, we're thought leaders among a niche audience, and we want our niche to become the mainstream. 'cause like Al Sharpton, we're also activists.

Al Sharpton Patricia Bynes Ferguson PoliticsNation
Al Sharpton taking his glasses off and waving them around, drawing undue amounts of attention towards them.

Of course, this is assuming that Al Sharpton is telling it as it is. Most of the world sees this as a demotion for him. And we do, too. Theoretically, his audience should be the folks who attend church on Sunday mornings instead of wake up even earlier to watch politics. Sharpton says that his timeslot will allow power players to become guests on his programs (power players actually do things during the week) so they will add more value.

Who the hell would wanna come onto his show? Well, KoopaTV would, but that's besides the point.

We all know that KoopaTV doesn't do many Interviews. That's a shame, 'cause based on view count people enjoy them. Could we have more Interviews if we do one article a week?

...Probably not, since we'd be producing a lot less content. The content we do produce would be higher quality than average (but everything on KoopaTV is worth reading anyway so it's not like we have a quality issue) since we'd spend more time per article.

However, it would also hurt a great part of the site: Getting to know your staff and their thoughts on a huge variety of topics! We'd be giving you our opinions five times slower if we were Sundays only, and I think that would only hurt our impeccable thought leadership.

Reverend Al Sharpton Patricia Bynes Ferguson PoliticsNation MSNBC
Al Sharpton finally puts his glasses back on and takes a quick glare at the cameraman (and the viewers).

Unfortunately for Reverend Al Sharpton (and fortunately for America), we're going to hear a lot less of him now. To make up for all this extra time, however, Sharpton claims he will tour the country more often. ...Which means he will have a lot more time to start race riots.

...You know, this might be unfortunate for everyone.

So, is KoopaTV gonna follow Sharpton's lead?


We'll continue our course and touch your hearts, much unlike Al Sharpton's inability to operate a touch screen.

(I guess he wouldn't like Brain Age like George W. Bush, eh? Well, dude needs it!) 

Did you think KoopaTV would take after Al Sharpton? Nah. KoopaTV takes after a much more successful black man, Herman Cain. That said, if you the reader would like to suggest a change to KoopaTV's formatting at any time, feel free to do so. KoopaTV might even consider them!

One of KoopaTV's few interviews was with the biggest power player in our world, the just-mentioned-in-the-footer Herman Cain. You won't believe what we asked him, and how he answered!
KoopaTV is officially going to a three-articles-per-week system.

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