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Thursday, May 24, 2018

Xbox Gaming Tournament at the Special Olympics — Not Real Olympics Event

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - eSports continues to approach the ultimate stage, but this isn't it.

Did you know that Microsoft is the Premier Partner sponsoring the 2018 Special Olympics USA Games? They want you to know that, because it helps make them look like a socially responsible company. To that end, Microsoft is hosting the first-ever videogame tournament that is taking place at the Special Olympics — this July 2nd in Seattle. KoopaTV will not cover it. We'll have our monthly newsletter instead.

Besides, who wants to watch “Unified teams” consisting “of an athlete with and an athlete without an intellectual disability”? They'll be playing Forza Motorsport 7, a game we don't care about. Here's what I said when Forza Motorsport 7 was finished being revealed at Microsoft's E3 2017:
“I'm supposed to be suffocating from this breathtaking Forza finish. But I'm still breathing.”
I suppose being alive is a better fate. Anyway, not only do I not care about Forza, but I'm not a fan of the Special Olympics. I trained quite hard for the Rio 2016 Olympics... which was a set of real Olympics with a high and existent skill floor. You can get official Olympics approval on the name, but the Special Olympics, by design, is the opposite of what the Olympics is supposed to represent. (And it's not diversity, unity, or climate change.)

However, it doesn't matter what I think about the Special Olympics — it matters that eSports are recognised as sports. So, let's look at the official list of 35 sports available at the Special Olympics...

Special Olympics all sports list
You're probably not intellectually disabled if you know what “bocce” is.
Check the list for yourself here.

Videogames still are not on that list of sports. Despite the Microsoft partnership, Xbox and gaming have no representation. In fact, all the Microsoft partnership seems to have done for the Special Olympics website is make their search powered by Bing. You know how much Microsoft would have to pay KoopaTV for me to agree to have our internal site search be powered by Bing?

...Probably less than the amount that Microsoft is giving to the Special Olympics. Still, I dislike it on principle. 

This is about as important as the Super Smash Bros. For Wii U tournament that took place in the British House during the Rio 2016 Olympics. Put another way, no one ever referenced that tournament (or article) ever again. It's meaningless in the development of eSports. It's meaningless in the development of the Olympics.

But, hey, aren't Microsoft just the nicest bunch of folks?

Ludwig is best categorised as an ableist piece of crap. His opinion on the Special Olympics is only slightly higher than that of former United States President Barack Hussein Obama's. He thinks even less of Forza, and if you think this article is filler, then just wait for Friday's article. That'll be a major development in KoopaTV. What do you think of Microsoft's Xbox tournament in partnership with the Special Olympics? Are you offended by how it's treated here?

Ludwig does think the Paralympics are real and legitimate, however.
The real and legitimate Olympics has started a Virtual Olympic Series in 2021, but to represent racing, they picked Gran Turismo over Forza.


  1. Replies
    1. Pretty much the same thing that I think about the Olympics, which is different than what I think of the Special Olympics.

      Paralympics, to my understanding, has the same high skill floor as the Olympics in that it's actually about the achievement of the top athletes (that just happen to be para'd), rather than the Special Olympics, which is a glorified fitness programme.

    2. What about this "Oppression Olympics" I keep hearing about? What do you think about it?

    3. That's, uh, of course, not an actual Olympics event sponsored by the International Olympic Committee.

      That's a figure of speech referring to who can be the biggest victim in a group of people. The biggest victim gets the most power. It's a reversal for how power is traditionally distributed.
      It's a pretty accurate metaphor within the social justice movement.

    4. I don't know, seems like they have to train very hard for it. They do training such as silencing all other opinions in college campuses everywhere and getting they posts with tons of reblogs on Tumblr.

    5. Well, yes, tumblr is the preferred training grounds for the oppressed Olympians.

      (That's why I deleted the KoopaTV tumblr. No one's interested in what KoopaTV has to say; just being stuck in their weird victim system.)

      Most of them never get past training and just stay at tumblr since these tend to be unconfident people not willing to show their face elsewhere.

      In any case, Microsoft doesn't formally support the oppression olympics, though they are trying to make it easier for oppressed people to get jobs at Microsoft.

  2. Out of the immense number of games they could have chose from, they had to pick Forza? I suppose it fits the Special Olympics more than others but still Microsoft has better series out there.

    1. I'm not too sure what that's supposed to imply about Forza... But it's probably funny.


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