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Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Nintendo World Championships Return For 2017!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's like 2015's, but lamer.

Remember Nintendo's E3 2015, with the Nintendo World Championships 2015? That event could have made E3 2015 one of the best for Nintendo, but then their actual conference happened and that sucked.

What I'm trying to say is that the Nintendo World Championships in 2015 were awesome. The qualifiers for that grand E3 event, though? Well, I was critical on the Nintendo World Championships qualifiers in 2015 for their eight questionably-distributed locations.

WELL, the Nintendo World Championships are BACK for 2017, coming in October! THIS time, the qualifiers (late August and early September) locations are... in pretty much the same exact locations as they were in 2015. Well, some of the cities moved, but the state allocation is the same: Two in California, one in Florida, one in Illinois, one in Minnesota, one in New York, one in Texas, and one in Washington state.

One big change in the rules this year? Non-Quebec Canadians may participate. Previously it was only Americans. Which Best Buy would the Canadians go to? Who knows.

(Reminder that Alberta residents have not been a part of Canada for over one year. You're in a better kingdom now.)

What must one do to qualify? First, show up at the qualifier nearest you at the correct date. Dates and other details can be found here. Since it is first-come first-serve, you must be there before anyone else. Try being there Friday night and sleeping in front of the store.

You must then determine if you are 12 or younger, or 13 and older. Then, you will either be a loser and play as Mario in Mario Kart 7, or be a winner and play as Bowser in Mario Kart 7. Whether you are a winner or a loser is dependent on your age. You should also become familiar with how a New Nintendo 2DS XL feels, since you will be playing on that hardware. Your task is to have the fastest time trial, and you have two shots.

(Why Mario Kart 7? That game is so OLD. Still, any theories people have about why only older kids get pro-Koopa exposure is welcome in the comments section.)

Nintendo World Championships qualifiers Mario Kart 7 age division bracket Bowser 12 years old 13
By the way, everyone reading this should fall under “13 and older”, or else KoopaTV might be violating some privacy laws or something.
 
Once the Best Buy opens, anyone present can demo Super Mario Odyssey or Metroid: Samus Returns. That will be its OWN long line. You can also get 100 Platinum Points on your My Nintendo account (that's the useless currency that doesn't get you anything and is in massive supply) and you might even get a pin since you're camping out in front of the store.

Since there are two age groups, and eight locations, there will be sixteen qualified people. Those sixteen, plus eight more people (invited by Nintendo — you can expect some demographic diversity in those picks) will show up in the Manhattan Center's Grand Ballroom. and by “show up”, I mean that Nintendo will pay for airline tickets and accommodations for you.

Nintendo gets to choose which airline, so pray it's not United Airlines.


Since the Nintendo World Championships 2017 obviously will not be happening at E3, it will likely attract much less viewership than 2015. KoopaTV's staff might not even watch it! Though, if you request that KoopaTV does in the comments section, then KoopaTV might. There is no information about what the actual event will be like, other than that the winner's trophy is worth $2,780.


KoopaTV gave wall to wall coverage of the Nintendo World Championships 2017! Read our live reaction log here.

6 comments :

  1. It could be that the main reason Nintendo is hosting the Nintendo World Championships is to introduce the new Virtual Console service that's supposed to be introduced in 2018.

    Think about it, would you rather learn about the Virtual Console through an old-school Nintendo Direct, or take the gaming world by surprise with a Nintendo World Championships?

    Do you think they would announce MOTHER 3 there, too?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh... a Direct, honestly.
      So that means the World Championships will be filled with older retro games?

      Since EarthBound Beginnings was announced at Nintendo World Championships 2015...!

      Delete
  2. Why Mario Kart SEVEN of all things? I mean, everyone's already playing MK8 by now. The REMASTERED MK8. It's like Nintendo is LITERALLY TRYING to be outdated! It boggles my mind!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It may be easier to administer multiple Mario Kart 7 stations with the New Nintendo 2DS XL (which they DO want to promote, after all) than Mario Kart 8 Deluxe stations on the Switch.

      They might also not have, you know, enough Switch units to use for demos since they don't have enough to sell for money.

      Delete
  3. I wish there were more locations than just those eight Best Buy's. It's also not really a World Championship considering only residents in North America can participate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, adding Canada is a big first step!

      Also, are you discounting Mexico as part of North America? THE WALL won't eject Mexico from the continent.

      Delete

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