How Nintendo Labo Is (Almost Literally) A Trainwreck

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And you thought the Labo would stick to cars, planes, and submarines?

At the end of December 2017, Kamek wrote (yeah, Kamek wrote) about why Amtrak should not exist, providing KoopaTV an expansion of our transportation philosophies by describing trains as one of the worst modes of transportation out there.

Afterwards, the Nintendo Labo decided to test our transportation ideals by announcing the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit. We immediately geared up for war. Things were quiet afterwards... even after the Nintendo Labo: Vehicle Kit hit store shelves. It was really a stealth launch.

Don't mistake quiet for benign, however. Just recently, days following the great American tradition of Thanksgiving, an Amtrak train stopped right after leaving the station. ...It not only stopped, but it was stuck. For six hours.

To be specific, it was an Acela Express going from New York's Penn Station (around 9:40 AM) to Massachusetts's South Station. Amtrak markets the Acela Express as:

Heroes vs. Villains: The Ultimate Splatfest

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's about the very questions of morality this whole site is about.

Is it okay if I take some time off discussing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate? Alright, let's go back to talking about Splatoon 2. In fact, there's a Splatfest happening this very weekend! Always a popular topic. Alright, what's the subject?

...Oh, the Splatfest is about Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Yesterday's article is all I really want to talk about for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the near future. For now, let's talk about Heroes vs. Villains.

More specifically, let's make this really clear up front. This is KoopaTV. Team Villains literally is fronted by King Bowser. Regardless of how right or wrong it is that Lord Bowser is defined as a villain, he's KoopaTV's primary focus. We must stand by him. There's really no debate about that.

But KoopaTV is all about arguments and debates and opinions, so I guess I gotta present something to you. Allow me to weigh the legitimacy of Off the Hook's arguments, and clue you in about who is likely to win.

First Weekend Thoughts On Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That was a fun KoopaTV staff meeting!

As we've been alluding to for some time now, KoopaTV just concluded a big staff meeting at our Sierra Leone headquarters. We all got together and discussed the site's future and progress, including what to do with our publishing schedule.

We also played a lot of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and ate a lot of chips with salsa. (But not homemade salsa donated by our readers. Store-bought's still pretty good, even in Sierra Leone.) Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a game our whole staff was looking forward to.

I have a lot of things to share about my thoughts, so I'm going to tell you what's on my mind. I'm also giving the opportunity for the other staff members to do the same!

Ludwig's Thoughts

First of all, in case you're wondering about the result of our play, I'm the best Super Smash Bros. player on the staff. It's not even close.

I've only played VS mode, Online, and Classic Mode as of writing. Yeah, I'm going to save Spirits for another time, but it's obvious that the game's in-game prizes and stuff revolve around Spirits. Spirits look to be Trophies, Stickers, and Equipment all put into one collectible.

The game feels incredible to play. It's very smooth. After I unlocked King Bowser (I have a whole article dedicated to my unlocked characters that I'll publish after I actually unlock all the characters), the universal 3-frame jump squat (which, in normal words, means “how much time passes between when the character prepares to jump and when the character is off the ground”) is a huge improvement for my dad, and he feels much faster and better. His work-outs from Wii Fit Trainer for Super Smash Bros. 4 have intensified for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, and he's so flexible for someone with a giant shell!

A Smashily-Smashy Smash Bros. Retrospective

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Final article of the week, I wring thee forth.

Unlike with the fourth one, I can say I'm really feeling Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I complained for years that Smash 4's myriad of assets had no actual application in terms of single-player content ('tis a similar complaint I have with Mario Kart 8), and it looks like Ultimate will be addressing that concern thoroughly.

To celebrate the game's release I thought hey, why not look back on the series from perspectives relevant to fellow staffers and my interactions with them over the years? (Sound güd? Sounds güd!)

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to The Game Awards 2018

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Brought to you... GLOBALLY! Around the WORLD!

#TheGameAwards are almost here! Make sure you tune in tomorrow night at 5:30pm PT to watch it all live before the launch of Super #SmashBrosUltimate!https://t.co/gZdCzcdHch pic.twitter.com/43AAaq3ybj

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) December 5, 2018

We are joined today by Ludwig, Kamek, Witch, friendly-neighborhood non-staffer Ryudragon, and myself. (Wendy's not dead but was eating dinner or something.) Nintendo hyped The Game Awards 2018, and I got almost all of the staff to watch the whole thing even though I was the only one who wanted to. (Ryu did too, if only for Metroid, which you'll have to read the log to see if that happened.)

Surely there are some great announcements here, right? We bring you our full reaction log to The Game Awards 2018, hosted by Geoff Keighley, and guest-starring Donald Mustard. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to host it the night before the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate?

MONADO EXPOUND!

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Might as well give the influencer their due.

If you've been paying attention over the course of the past...half-week, you will have noticed that Day 1 was Ludwig being uncertain about KoopaTV's future via the November 2018 newsletter and Day 2 was me publishing three articles in one day without telling anyone. You could say December 4th was a prolific day in KoopaTV history. Someone in the newsletter comments thought it was because I felt guilty for not publishing anything on three "Rawk Tuesdays" in a row (and that I had actually written all three in a little over 12 hours as if I was even capable of doing that), but naaaaaaaaah. Here's what I commented in response:

Massive Melee Mythra is a Marvelous Meta Miracle

By RAWKHAWK2010 - MMMHMMM.

I never did write that article about Xenoblade Chronicles 2. ...Sorry to keep you waiting?

Mythra sent shockwaves across the internet last week after a picture of her Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Spirit was leaked wearing leggings. It's understandable. Images directly datamined from the game apparently have this awful dark contrast to them (apparently the engine itself has to come in and "correct" the lighting) which literally made it look like Mythra's legs were colored in with the Microsoft Paint fill tool. So yeah at first it kinda just looked...well, not great. We saw it in better quality later, but there were still many arguments against it to be had. Did it really do the Aegis of Light any good to lose her leg game? Would white leggings have been more appropriate as to not diminish her color contrast with the opposing Aegis (who also happens to be the best-voiced Nintendo villain of all time)? Was "Leggings Mythra" something that made any sense at all?

In Malos's voice: You. Tell. Me.
(Also the cleavage window is missing.)

Insight into the World of Light; What Happened to Wendy and for Whom Does She Fight?

By RAWKHAWK2010 - I... I'm seeing something!

If Shulk had cared more about Wendy O. Koopa during his World of Light omnicide Vision, then the above is what he would have seen. Wendy, who wasn't present onsite, would have been seen at home playing MapleStory 2. I know because *I* saw it and with my own two present-day eyes. Plus that would have been a good guess to make anyways.

Unfortunately, what happens to Wendy at the end is kinda sorta officially her fault. Yes, there's almost no chance she could have escaped regardless when not even Bayonetta or Palutena could (and for reasons (allegedly) put forth by Sakurai that I still can't comprehend), but we'll never be 100% sure because of how impressively-focused Wendy was on things that weren't the pressing matters and the signs that pointed to them. The sky was unusually bright. Bowser hadn't been home in days! But Wendy's priorities still laid elsewhere.

Mii

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Yeah, those.

After suddenly remembering Mii can be made on the Switch (no joke, for months I thought Mii Maker was retired and that the Mii in people's Switch avatars had either come across on amiibo or were just already affiliated with the Nintendo Accounts in question. Don't ask me how I expected Switch-only owners to acquire one.), I recently began drafting a Mii Fighter army for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I've had a pretty good time, and with only three days 'til release I figured I'd show some of them off.

Now then, less words and more pictures!

Kasandra from Xenoblade Chronicles 2

KoopaTV's November 2018 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The newsletter that's the most review-iest of all-time newsletters.

As much as I like treats, I don't like tricks, so I'm not going to sugarcoat this newsletter by acting like our November 2018 was as good as it could be.

November 2018 was defined by KoopaTV's new publishing schedule that began on November 12. Let's get right into what happened.

Ludwig May Have A Green Shell But He Knows How To Change Direction

Since Monday November 12, each of the five KoopaTV staffers were given a weekday to publish something. That was three full weeks in November, so there should have been 15 articles. What happened?

• Kamek (Monday) — 1 article
• RawkHawk2010 (Tuesday) — 0 articles
• Wendy O. Koopa (Wednesday) — 0 articles
• Ludwig Von Koopa (Thursday) — 3 articles
• Witch Princess (Friday) — 2 articles

Six out of fifteen isn't good. 40%!

Back when former KoopaTV staffer Vortexica was still alive (rest in peace), he had a saying that as long as he did more in a year than Kamek, he felt he was doing his work as a staffer. That's a cheeky way of saying that Kamek is a very low bar to pass. (Uh, can we just have all the KoopaTV staffers be productive for your benefit?)

Well, two staffers failed the “Kamek test.” Everyone has their reasons (well, one staffer has no reason) despite everyone agreeing to the schedule. Rather than me blaming the other KoopaTV staff members (although you are all more than welcome to do so in the comments section!) in this newsletter, here's what we're going to do to fix things and finish the year strong in the most anticipated time period for a Nintendo fan since E3 2018.