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Monday, March 13, 2023

MAR13 Day 2023: Marie the Spreadsheet Superheroine Squid Sister

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Poor Splatoon Wii U.

It is a tragic timing that today, as MAR13 Day (Marie Day) 2023, Splatoon on the Nintendo Wii U has its online services disabled in the name of “temporary emergency maintenance” that is on-going as of March 2, 2023. No one knows when the online service will resume, but the first Splatoon was, of course, Marie's first appearance. As one of the Squid Sisters, she has had interesting banter with her sidekick, Callie, sharing the stages and taking Splatfest sides. I recapped some of Marie's history during MAR13 Day 2022 here, or at least linked to several other KoopaTV articles that go more in-depth to that. So what does that leave for MAR13 Day 2023, besides much of Splatoon being inaccessible?

Splatoon 3 Inkopolis Square DLC Callie Marie Squid Sisters talking
Marie sitting bored during MAR13 Day in Inkopolis.

If you bought the Splatoon 3 Expansion Pass, then you have access to Inkopolis as part of Wave 1 of the DLC. It's rather useless (though it does give you access to five new Tableturf Battle opponents), and Callie and Marie do not perform the newscast. I wouldn't recommend purchasing the Pass now. Still, it made the above screenshot possible. But you do not need to make an additional purchase in order to interact with Marie in Splatoon 3, and I'll discuss that. Just be warned that this involves some Splatoon 3 spoilers.

As I showed in a screenshot in the December 2022 KoopaTV newsletter (because some guy was trying to gaslight us into thinking Callie won the final Splatfest in Splatoon), Callie and Marie, or Agent 1 and Agent 2, are supporting characters in Splatoon 3's Alterna Story Mode. By the end of the story, Deep Cut, who you may know as the Splatoon 3 newscasters (and they even give the newscast to people in Inkopolis Square), become subordinates of Agent 2. They later learn that Agent 2 is actually Marie of the Squid Sisters, and Agent 1 is Callie. Marie must frustratingly approve of Deep Cut's expense reports and time cards. She is the right Inkling for the job, though.

Splatoon 3 Callie Marie Agent 2 look at spreadsheets not get headache superpower
Spreadsheets are great, but are often misused in professional settings to try to work with data that has no business being managed in a spreadsheet format.

Expense reports and time cards are at least easier to handle with spreadsheet software, and Marie can focus on those things, unlike Callie. As an aside, spreadsheet software can be useful for both the arts and the sciences, though Marie was the representative for Team Science. Both super-disciplines can and should focus for long periods of time working on a thing. I think Marie finds working with the spreadsheets to be much easier than sitting down and listening to Callie talk on and on. I'm fairly similar.

My Tableturf Battle rank is only 42, by the way. I heard Marie is an unlockable opponent at rank 44. A bit of a shame I haven't grinded Tableturf Battle enough to be able to play that card game with her on her day, but that's alright. I'll get there!

Splatoon 3 Alterna Agent 2 Marie awkward run out of things to say save me Callie
Um... what else should I discuss for the MAR13 Day article?
I ought to just publish it already before the day is totally over.

The Squid Sisters are still Ludwig's favourite idol group, collectively better than Off the Hook and Deep Cut. Marie, of course, plays a big part in that. Did you play Splatoon 3 during MAR13 Day 2023? Because playing the first Splatoon would be somewhat difficult.

By the end of May 2023, Splatoon on the Wii U is still down.

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