By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Snoozefest, but at least it's intentional this time.
Today is Pokémon Day, which means The Pokémon Company International is going to vomit at us whatever information they've been saving for anniversary's sake. These presentations have historically been dull for me. Maybe I'm a bad Pokémon fan (other Pokémon fans say I am) because I don't appreciate several minutes worth of useless cross-company collaborations and predatory mobile titles? Either way, you can watch the short, 26-minute presentation and read along with my live reactions. (Which will take significantly less than 26 minutes to get through, though if you care about things I don't, you'll find a lot of information missing.)
[8:37 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyfyd_t9mzs
[9:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Starting with the GENERIC YOUTUBE PREMIERE COUNTDOWN ANIMATION.
[9:01 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hello everyone, I'm Ishihara from the Pokémon Company, and today is Pokémon Day.
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The number of Pokémon have gone from 151 to OVER NIN-... ONE THOUSAAAAAAND!
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ishihara has a freaky looking Pikachu automaton next to him.
[9:02 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mr. Chris Brown is discussing VGCs.
[9:03 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This year, World Championships are occurring in Japan. (For the first time!)
[9:03 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Someone in the captions thinks HTML tags (specifically italics) work in .vtt files.
[9:04 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Here is someone with a Pokémon trading card game briefcase.
[9:04 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Dude probably thinks he's Seto Kaiba or something.
[9:05 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're notably playing with Base Set cards.
[9:05 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And with all of the glorious camera angles and shots going to Base Set CHARIZARD, of course...
 |
| Get out of my sight. |
[9:06 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Pokémon Trading Card Game Classic"... sounds like it's designed to sell to scalpers.
[9:06 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some lady from Netflix is here to talk about Pokémon.
[9:07 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Netflix is collaborating to make a new series called: "The Pokémon Concierge". (This also got an attempt at italics tags in the sub-titles.)
[9:07 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It features stop-motion animation and a new storyline.
[9:07 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Animated by "Dwarf Studios", following a hotel concierge at a resort.
[9:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's a resort for Pokémon, not people, so it probably doesn't make any money.
[9:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, GAME NEWS.
[9:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Takata Utsonumtykhmtyg Chief Operating Officer of The Pokémon Company.
[9:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You could hear Scarlet and Violet news, BUT FIRST...updates from Pokémon UNITE. Ew.
[9:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (I'm not ew-ing news about Pokémon games that aren't mainline RPGs; I'm ew-ing UNITE specifically.)
[9:10 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, onto the next thing.
[9:10 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Grapes!
[9:11 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is gonna go to Pokémon Cafe.
[9:11 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But they're real grapes (and other foods).
[9:11 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You know I've been doing nothing but watching Hell's Kitchen episodes for the past week or so.
[9:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Anyway, Fuecoco, Quaxly, and Sprigatito are in Pokémon Café Remix. And Greninja gets a chef outfit.
[9:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And now Pokémon Masters EX, probably.
[9:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring lots of Champions.
[9:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Celebrates 3.5 years!"
[9:13 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Not only do they celebrate anniversaries, but also half-year anniversaries, too!?!?
[9:13 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Galar's casts are such losers.
[9:13 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Leon & Charizard"
[9:13 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uggh
[9:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (And there are Charizard plushes in the background too)
[9:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now we have a video with people saying good night and turning the lights off in their homes.
[9:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AHH
[9:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: POKéMON SLEEP
[9:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: LET'S GOO
[9:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They have footage of augmented reality'd Pokémon sleeping in bed with people, with a disclaimer saying it's a dramatisation and Pokémon Sleep lacks AR.
[9:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Some of these beds are two humans, and some are one human and a Pokémon.
[9:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Lots of Snorlax imagery.
[9:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pokémon Sleep's logo features a Snorlax.
[9:16 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Makes you look forward to waking up in the morning."
[9:16 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: How depressed is the Pokémon fanbase that they need a mobile app not to kill themselves at night?
[9:16 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "All you have to do is get a good night's sleep!"
[9:17 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sleep records your sleep when leave the smartphone by your pillow at night.
[9:17 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Each species of Pokémon have several sleep styles. Try to find them all!"
[9:17 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Coming summer 2023.
[9:17 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...Yeah, I'm not sure I get it.
[9:18 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But they have a Pokémon GO Plus +.
[9:18 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pronounced Pokémon GO Plus Plus.
[9:18 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Press it when you go to sleep and press it again when you wake up.
[9:18 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's a Pikachu inside of the device that functions as an alarm and also a lullaby singer.
[9:19 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's probably a bad thing that what comes to my mind is how to fake the system.
[9:19 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Who approved "Pokémon GO Plus +"?
[9:20 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now, updates on Scarlet and Violet.
[9:20 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: uhhh
[9:20 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Suicune with tentacles.
[9:20 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And robo Virizion.
[9:20 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Walking Wake and Iron Leaves.
 |
| How is this compatible with the lore? (Or... is that why it's called a Paradox?) |
[9:20 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Hideous.
[9:21 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: To be fair, Iron Leaves isn't actually ugly.
[9:21 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it's a big downgrade from Virizion.
[9:22 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pokémon HOME support "coming early 2023" for Scarlet and Violet.
[9:22 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, we're in early 2023 right now...
[9:22 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Share our last video for today with you."
[9:22 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The video, not actual gameplay footage, features real life people running up stairs.
[9:23 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: At some kind of Japanese festival.
[9:23 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: the heck are those
[9:23 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ??
[9:24 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Scarlet and Violet: The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero.
[9:24 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Featuring weirdo designs.
[9:24 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Teal Mask"
[9:24 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The Indigo Disk"
[9:24 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's DLC for Scarlet and Violet.
 |
| The masked Pokémon is named Ogerpon. Meanwhile, Terapagos is the best thing to come out of this presentation. |
[9:25 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Indigo Disk thing's disk looks like a shell, so that one is alright.
[9:25 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Like in Sword/Shield, this DLC brings Pokémon that weren't around before.
[9:26 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Indigo Disk guy is named Terapagos.
[9:26 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Teal Mask dude also has a name but it's too complicated to remember.
[9:27 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: That's it.
[9:27 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, whatever.
[9:27 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Back to work.
What did you think of this presentation? Or of Ludwig's reactions? When Ludwig wakes up, stops watching Hell's Kitchen on-demand, or has a spare moment, he'll respond to your comments in the comments section!
Click here for the Pokémon Day 2022 presentation.
Did you forget what Pokémon Sleep is? Or was supposed to be? It was first (and only) revealed four years ago.
Terapagos isn't the only turtle coming around. It has a younger friend too.
Now that i think about it, KoopaTV plus + does have a ring to it....
ReplyDeleteIf they were to do a paradox Deoxys i would flip with joy. For some reason I just have started to really like it. Maybe its because I have fond memories associated with watching the movie, or that Alpha Safire was my first really foray into Pokémon after Pokémon Yellow on the eshop. The Deoxys fight was just such a huge surprise after Rayquaza. I don't think the new paradox Pokémon are bad at all, but i worry that Gamefreak is using up a potentially new Pokémon game idea too soon. They've already had the Pokémon of Time, Death, and Life. Pokémon God is already a thing too, there's only so many more "original" super legendary Pokémon ideas out there.
There'd need to be a "KoopaTV plus" first!
DeleteI'm not impressed with GAME FREAK's modern attempts at creativity. (Except with Pocket Card Jockey.)