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Tuesday, May 28, 2019

KoopaTV's Pokémon 2019 Press Conference Live Reactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hey, we're the press. This conference is for us!

Note: Everything written before the actual reaction log begins was written before the Pokémon 2019 Press Conference started. I just want to get my expectations on the record. And I have low expectations, even if The Pokémon Company International claims,
“The press conference is expected to cover a number of topics of interest to Pokémon fans.” 
The official Twitter account ran by The Pokémon Company International claims,
“You don’t want to miss this.”
The last time I paid attention to an unmissable corporate presentation was CAPCOM claiming that Ace Attorney fans can't miss news at the 2018 Tokyo Game Show that brought news of yet another Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy port.

Anyway, we don't have to look to other companies for comparison. We have history. There was a conference at exactly this time last year from Pokémon folks. It brought us an announcement and simultaneous release of Pokémon Quest, extensive information and announcement of Pokémon Let's Go, Pikachu! and Pokémon Let's Go, Eevee!, and a very brief word that GAME FREAK is still working on a mainline Pokémon RPG for Nintendo Switch, which was later revealed three months ago to be Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield.

In other words, last year's conference was a terrible series of announcements that focused on pandering to Kanto with a very casual audience. I expect more Kanto pandering in this conference. Maybe some Johto pandering. Perhaps we'll have “Pokémon Let's Go, Pichu!” and “Pokémon Let's Go, Marill!”. If there's a spin-off announced that's something I'll smile about (like a Gen 8 Pokémon Mystery Dungeon game), we won't get any gameplay screenshots of it, because it'll be released after Sword and Shield, and obviously they can't reveal things.

Alright, time to watch the conference and see how well my expectations were matched! For some reason, the other staffers ditched me and made me solo-react to this. Twerps.


[8:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.twitch.tv/pokemon

[9:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IT BEGINS

[9:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's a Foongus on the stage.

[9:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Good sign we'll get things outside Gen 1.

[9:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Tsunekazu Ishihara from The Pokémon Company to speak.

[9:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Pokémon business strategy announcement"

[9:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I thought it was billed a press conference!

[9:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well I know what their strategy is. Probably spam Pokémon in movies and merchandise and theme parks or whatever.

[9:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IP exposure and all that. Let's see how that plays out.

[9:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: English translator has been rather quiet.

[9:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Announcement today will be in Chinese.

[9:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Going forward, more things will be in Chinese.

[9:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Should increase NTDOY's stock price; investors love China)

[9:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "For the rest of today's presentation, we will SWITCH to simultaneous translation." (emphasis mine)

[9:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Talk about movies, including Detective Pikachu.

I knew this was gonna start bad!

[9:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Bowing Toho Hiro Matsuoka guy.

[9:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The day after tomorrow, assuming the motion is approved, I will be appointed an external board member to The Pokémon Company's board of directors."

Well alright.

[9:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He's comparing Detective Pikachu to Godzilla.

[9:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And then proceeds to plug the next Godzilla movie.

(There's a next Godzilla movie?)

[9:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Detective Pikachu movie based on Detective Pikachu for 3DS.

"The 3DS story ended on a bit of a cliffhanger."

They're making a sequel for Switch.

[9:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (BOOO)

[9:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Plugging Pokémon Centre Singapore in Jewel Airport. Well, airports are good.

"Pokémon Centres are not just shops... they represent fun spaces."

(aka shops)

[9:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: President Yoriomi Uego, president of Pokémon Centre.

[9:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There will be a Pokémon Centre in Shibuya now.

So maybe it'll appear in a new The World Ends With You game.

[9:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Are they going to build new Centres in the USA and China, per the simultaneous translation efforts?

[9:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Next guest is... NetEase's Ethan Wang.

[9:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ethan Wang got a new translator from before, and his translator needs a translator.

[9:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Releasing the first official Pokémon games in China... Pokémon Quest."


Pokémon Quest China Chinese NetEase
Oh, yeah, this is just great. I'm sure the Chinese will love this.

[9:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: EWWWWWWWWW

[9:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "In the future, we will bring more interesting Pokémon games to China."

ROFL

[9:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: At least they acknowledge it's not interesting.

[9:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Next guest for next announcement.

This time it's a familiar face. Junichi Masuda of GAME FREAK.

[9:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "I'm here to talk about THE FUTURE of Pokémon."

[9:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Does the future involve you?)

[9:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Talking about Let's Go and GO as a turning point in the franchise history.

[9:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Not a good sign)

[9:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "We also have a great many players who've gone from Game Boy Advance to Nintendo DS to Nintendo 3DS." Yeah, like me!

[9:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Referencing transferring the same Pokémon from Gen 3 to Gen 7, which you can do through complicated measures)

[9:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Announcing Pokémon Home.

[9:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Because Pokémon Bank is only for Jews, I guess.

[9:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pokémon Home is cloud-based, allowing you to connect Bank, GO, and stuff on the Switch.


Pokémon HOME cloud service connecting Bank GO Nintendo Switch
I'm guessing you'll have to pay an annual subscription fee for this.

[9:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And keep it updated throughout the future.

“Trade anytime, anywhere.” With other people. Globally (Internet) or face-to-face.

[9:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Early 2020 launch.

[9:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reveal more news about Pokémon Sword and Shield at 9 AM Eastern on June 6, which I may or may not be able to watch live.

[9:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ooh, video time.

[9:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Starts with kids on their smartphone. Bad sign.

[9:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And a Boomer on his smartphone.

[9:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And kilometre counts.

[9:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Pokéwalker already exists, guys.

[9:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yo these guys are walking hundreds of millions of kilometres.

[9:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Billions!

[9:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Pokémon could enrich our everyday lives even further.”

[9:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: omg a real-life Pikachu

[9:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Pokémon transforms sleeping into entertainment.”

[9:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: IS THIS NINTENDO'S QUALITY OF LIFE INITIATIVE

[9:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE POKéMON NIGHTMARES IS DECREASING QUALITY OF LIFE.

[9:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SOME POKéMON KNOW DREAM EATER.

[9:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: AND NIGHTMARE.

[9:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHAT IF YOU GET A DARKRAI?

[9:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Everyone spends some time sleeping, and turning that into entertainment is our next challenge.”

[9:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Developing Pokémon Sleep.

[9:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm not making this up.


Pokémon Sleep logo Pikachu Select Button
Pokémon Sleep is real. This is not a KoopaTV prank.
Not that we do those.

[9:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Look forward to waking up every morning.”

I guess they seek to reduce suicide rates.

[9:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Working with Nintendo and Niantic to turn resting into gameplay.

Nintendo appearing on stage to discuss a new device.

[9:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OMG IT REALLY IS THE QUALITY OF LIFE DEVICE FROM A ZILLION YEARS AGO

[9:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nintendo speaker on stage, Kazuhiro Maruyama, of the Hardware Development Group.

[9:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, I never expected this.

[9:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This guy is hiding something in his suit jacket.

[9:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And he pulls out a Poké Ball.

[9:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Pokémon GO Plus +”

[9:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Read as Plus Plus.)

[9:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Google+ will never die.

[9:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Backwards compatible with Pokémon GO Plus.

[9:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: At night you put it on your bed and it will “track simple information with how you sleep.” THE RESULTS ARE SENT TO YOUR SMARTPHONE.

[9:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (aka you're sending the data to the companies to do spooky stuff with)

[9:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Nintendo guy is done talking after not revealing what exactly this involves.

[9:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They want to incorporate resting into Pokémon GO gameplay, and invite Niantic's John Hanke for more info.

[9:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, I wrote an article about the Sleeping vs. Eating Splatfest and how gamers don't sleep enough.

[9:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So I theoretically should be supportive of this.

[9:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “You'll be hearing more about this from us in the future.”

[9:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Snorlax is particularly excited about this development.” Some kind of Snorlax event in Pokémon GO.

[9:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright so he said nothing insightful.

[9:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “The Pokémon Company's mission statement is to enrich both the real world and the virtual world with Pokémon characters.”

After doing so with walking, now sleeping.

Finally done discussing sleep.

[9:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Discussing project with DeNA.

[9:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Pokémon Masters” a new smartphone project.

[9:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “Feature all of the past and present Pokémon trainers from the videogames.”

Features artwork of Cynthia.


Pokémon Masters official key artwork Ken Sugimori trainers smartphones
It's cool artwork, but have fun with the inevitable mobile transactions.


[9:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE

[9:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright it looks exactly like Pokémon GO and the thing is in Portrait mode.

[9:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Launching Calendar Year 2019.

[9:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I guess it's some kind of battling thing with Pokémon RPG character models.

[9:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: More details in June. (E3 2019?)

[9:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: “So, what did you think? There's one more small thing I'd like to share with you all.”

All the presenters are wearing Pokémon Shirts.

[9:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He's advertising Pokémon Shirts with the original Kanto 151 designs to order your very own Pokémon Shirts shirt on a service.

[9:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: North America and Europe will get this service since Asia has it.

[9:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yippee, ending the conference with Kanto pandering.

[9:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Giving out a souvenir to in-person attendees.

[9:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So the only new non-mobile game was Detective Pikachu 2?

[9:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Yikes.



Well? Did Ludwig's expectations meet what actually happened in the conference? How about YOUR expectations? Were you disappointed? Are you excited? Let KoopaTV know in the comments section! Clarification note: It's very possible that there is no Detective Pikachu 2 and it's a port of the game with a modified ending.


Pokémon Quest
is a terrible game.

Detective Pikachu is also a terrible game.
Here's that Splatfest article where Ludwig supports sleeping.
Here is what we last knew about Nintendo's sleep-related quality of life initiative.
If you want normal Pokémon news, there was a Direct dedicated to Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield a week later.
If you desire more information on Pokémon HOME, click here.
Pokémon Sleep finally gets another appearance four years later!

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