By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring a fanny pack.
I didn't expect this, but Nintendo of America and Battlefy are adding yet another event to the Splatoon 3 competition calendar: The Splatoon 3 Turf War December 2022! Register here with three to four friends or strangers united in common cause.
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| Some hooligan put a sticker with the phrase “Turf War” over text that also says “Turf War”... |
The officially sponsored competition's flavour text advertises:
“Put the ‘win’ in ‘winter’ and heat up the Splatoon™ 3 Turf War December 2022 tournament!
Eligible players in the US, Canada, and Mexico can splat, swim, and compete for prizes like My Nintendo Gold Points to redeem on Nintendo eShop and a Splatoon 3 hip pack. Each member of the first-place team will also get a trophy for their ink-chievement.
The action starts December 30 at 10AM PT. Register now and get ready for some colorful competition.”
So, what stands out to me about that?
Well, it's the “hip pack”—I'm pretty sure that's a synonym for “fanny pack.” It's not a term I really see much for it, sort of like how early Mario Party games insist on saying “Hip Drop” instead of “Ground Pound”. Anyway, do YOU want a Splatoon 3-themed fanny pack? I wouldn't. But the official rules describe other prizes as well, including a pin set, tech decals, and My Nintendo Gold Points. ($50 for those who score third and fourth place, $75 for those who score second place, and $100 for the team in first on the leaderboard.) The big winning team also gets a trophy.
The actual format of the Splatoon 3 Turf War December 2022 is a four-hour ladder where each Team Captain presses a match queue button on battlefy.com and communicates with an opposing Team Captain after being matchmade using battlefy.com's match chat. The captains create a Private Room, invite their crew, and they play best-of-three Turf Wars on random stages. The Team Captains report the results, and then they keep queueing on battlefy.com for more matches for the duration of the ladder, or until they feel comfortable with their ladder score. (Points are calculated by taking your set Wins minus your set Losses, with tiebreakers going into the games, as in, winning 2–0 is better than winning 2–1. Based on historical trends, you'd want about 10 to 11 points to be in the top four.) Participants can look at the current state of the ladder at any time by going to the event's Brackets tab. The entirety of the tournament is just this ladder phase, which makes things different than the Splatoon 3 Splatsville Showdown events, where the Turf War ladder is used for seeding into a single-elimination bracket that then consists of Anarchy battle styles.
By the way, the Splatoon 3 Splatsville Showdown consists of two events. The first happened already at the beginning of December, and the second happens on January 13 and 14. That leaves the event calendar as...
- Splatoon 3 Splatsville Showdown Event 1: December 2–3, 2023 [matchmaking on battlefy.com]
- Splatoon 3 Turf War December 2022: December 30, 2022 [matchmaking on battlefy.com]
- Favourite Taste Sensation Splatfest: January 6–8, 2023 [matchmaking in the Splatoon 3 in-game Lobby]
- Splatoon 3 Splatsville Showdown Event 2: January 13–14, 2023 [matchmaking on battlefy.com]
Ah, yes, there's a Splatfest coming up. If things go the way I think they will, KoopaTV's last article of 2022 will be about my choice for that Splatfest, because December 30 should be when you'll be able to pick a side in Splatoon 3. Since Splatfests are just a whole bunch of thematic Turf Wars, perhaps the Splatoon 3 Turf War December 2022 can serve as decent practice? The battlefy.com ladder matchmakes your team with teams of a similar ladder score as yours, which should correlate to a similar skill level. The in-game matchmaking system does a similar thing (though with a more complicated algorithm), so it actually should prepare you for what's to come in the Splatfest!
As for KoopaTV preparing you for our side, I'll leave this photo:
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| I chose the Omega form (Final Destination form) of Moray Towers because it's narrow and linear, like Splatoon 3 stage design. |
Ludwig doesn't intend to compete in the Splatoon 3 Turf War December 2022, unless three of his friends decide they want to and invite him in. It's clearly not a highly competitive event compared to the Splatsville Showdown with the reduced structure and prizes, and he doesn't have that much better to do during that time. ...Still.
NintendoVS is bringing this back in February 2023!
Do you think Fanny Packs will still be in style, in this our new year?
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