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Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Super Mario Run Out December 15; One-Time Payment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The United Kingdom has the lowest price, but that's not an endorsement.

I would like to correct my rhetoric in my introductory article for Super Mario Run, Shigeru Miyamoto's Apple mobile system love child. I exclaimed a fear about “PAY GATES.” It's actually only one.

You can also, according to Nintendo's press release today, “try elements of the game's three modes for free.” That's a correction from my assertion that the Kingdom Builder mode would be only accessible after you pay money.

I also presumed that Kingdom Builder was a level editor mode, and it's...actually a glorified dress-up minigame. So, yeah, I wouldn't want to pay anything for that, either.

Super Mario Run Kingdom Builder mode Mushroom Toads coins dress-up game
You're not building something you can play. Just look at. Maybe it'll appeal to people who'd otherwise spend a thousand dollars on Nintendo Badge Arcade gambling?

Annoyingly, Nintendo's official site for Super Mario Run doesn't allow me to directly link to its pages due to how they constructed the site, so take my word for the information I'm about to provide you for the rest of this article, or look everywhere on their site for your own self-verification. (But make sure to stay on THIS site, KoopaTV!)

Since it's in the title of this article, I better get out with what that one-time payment actually is. Well, it differs between location/currency:

Super Mario Run's one-time payment is $9.99 USD, £7.99 GBP ($9.96) for the British, ¥1200 JPY ($11.02) for the Japanese, €9.99 EUR ($10.73) for those suckers in the Eurozone, and $14.99 AUD ($11.32) for the Australians. Clearly, the British have the best deal (I'd like to credit Brexit for that), and Australia has the worst deal... as per usual.

The game will be released worldwide on December 15th, which doesn't feel like news because we already knew it was releasing in December, and December 15th is literally the most average day of December.

There's a trailer that goes along with the announcement, so take a watch if you want. There's absolutely nothing interesting or enticing about it.

Personally, I believe that thumbnail art of Mario doing a handstand on a Goomba's head to be incredibly demeaning towards Goombas. Goombas are living creatures with hearts and souls, not props for Mario's work-out routine!

Speaking of work-out routine, you may remember Shigeru Miyamoto lifting weights and eating hamburgers (thus more-than-undoing his weight-lifting) to prove the point about Super Mario Run being playable with one hand.

They haven't given up on that talking point. Here's the first thing you are greeted with on the Super Mario Run website right now, besides the December 15 release date:

Super Mario Run Nintendo website one hand
Why does Nintendo think this is the most compelling marketing point about Super Mario Run?

Looks like they still want to make Super Mario Run very popular, even at the expense of others’ lives, like those Goombas.

Here's the ultimate question: Are people willing to pay $10 for 24 levels of what's sure to be derivative fare? Super Mario Run is Nintendo's first sidescrolling Super Mario Bros. game since the release of Super Mario Maker, the level-creating game that put the power to the people. And, as far as I can tell, Super Mario Run is directly taking after New Super Mario Bros., which is already something you can do in Super Mario Maker.

The challenge in a post-Super Mario Maker world is that Nintendo needs to clear the bar for what is possible to make through that, or it's not worth buying.

$10 for short mobile-sized platforming levels doesn't sound very appealing when you can get a better value on your 3DS, between Nintendo eShop titles from indie developers (and there's a glut of 2D sidescrollers from that) and Nintendo's already existing titles on the Virtual Console, including any of Mario's earlier platforming titles which have more content for a lower price. $10 can get you a long way, and fortunately for you, we're not just giving away $10 in prizes for KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 11 (from November to December), but $50!

...You can also get a better value for your time by going on the Internet and playing flash games of 2D sidescrollers, including 2014's A Koopa's Revenge 2.

Oh. Right. No flash on mobile devices. Well, there's zillions of stuff on the App Store. I'm sure you have better uses of your time and money than Super Mario Run. Browsing through KoopaTV on mobile-view may not be one of them, so be sure to come back on a real device, which has a broad enough definition to include your Wii U's Internet browser.

This article's currency conversions are as of writing, according to Google's built-in currency converter on their search engine. Ludwig doesn't recommend you go anywhere near Super Mario Run or any of Nintendo's mobile endeavours, for that matter. He does not have a smartphone of any kind, and if this is the type of stuff that would await him, he's fine never getting one.

It's December 15, and Super Mario Run has now released!


  1. I don't have a smartphone either... yet. It's tricky business, Nintendo trying to make their smartphone outings appealing enough for people to get them, but not appealing enough to satiate very many people's gaming itch entirely.

    That kingdom builder looks like garbage. Posing Toads on blocks and Toad Houses? Um, no thanks.

    1. Kimishima demonstrated a big uptick in Pokémon merchandise and game sales, and system sales of 3DSs (see page 3 to 6), immediately following the release of Pokémon GO, though I'm not sure how ready the plumber's series will be to take advantage of an uptick, or if he'll get one at all.

      People are sick enough of Toads in Paper Mario games (I have no problem with them, personally), now they're coming to your phone!

    2. Those are some interesting graphs you linked to there. Definitely noticable increases there following GO...

      I also noticed that it said, concerning Super Mario Run, "Although we have not announced the
      release timing yet, we are also developing an Android
      version," to address Kody B.'s comment below.

    3. The question is this: If Nintendo put all of that development and marketing effort from Pokémon GO and instead put it into an AAA Nintendo 3DS game, could they have obtained similar returns on investment?

      ...Well, it's really addressing my comment to his comment, since I'm the one doubting its existence.

  2. Even though I use an Android phones and should be mad about the delay, I don't really mind. Super Mario Maker for the Nintendo 3DS will be out before we know it! I can't wait to play "Don't Move Level #1995023543"!

    1. What delay? The delay between the Apple release and the unknown-if-it-will-exist Android release?

    2. That's what I meant.

    3. It's not a delay if it never exists!

  3. The tapping thing for short or long jumps looks uncomfortable.

    I sometimes play an Advance Wars iOS clone called Warbits. Nintendo has real game franchises that can work on smartphones if they want to broaden its audience.

    1. It does? It's the same (I think) pressure/motion you'd make for a button press for short/long jumps on a controller.

      We'll see how Animal Crossing and bastardised Fire Emblem will adapt.

  4. That seems expensive for a game like this...

    1. All we knew at the time was that it was a game with a price. Not objecting to THAT doesn't invalidate finding it expensive now that we know more.

      I mean, if the next Ace Attorney game mysteriously cost $200, that would be expensive, even if I never objected to Ace Attorney games being made. XD

    2. ...If the next Ace Attorney game was $200 I'd still buy it.

      If something as measly as $10, which you could easily recoup in the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program (especially this round with its higher-than-usual prizes...where have YOU been, Alienhard?), causes a lot of OBJECTION! from you, then you sure didn't have much confidence in ONE-HANDED PLATFORMING as you appeared to initially.

    3. .....I might too.

      But $10 still sounds like too much for this game. Back then, my main point was that I didn't think it would hurt anything. I still don't, but now I can't see it being a big seller, either. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong and this is just what people want to spend their $10 on.

      (As for where I've been: avoiding politics.)

    4. lol

      It'll be a huge downloader and a small revenue-generator (in terms of proportion of spenders per total), but that's the case for every free-to-play game.

      (The only political statement I've gotten out of you was that you were supporting Mike Huckabee, which obviously never got to last very long.)

    5. Well, the reason a lot of people hate actual F2P games (with microtransactions, not a one-time payment like this one) is that some players wind up spending insane amounts of money on it. When you visit Kingdoom Hearts Unchained X discussions, you'll find people casually talking about how they spent $200 one week trying to get a specific medal. They're rare, but a much greater group of people considers themselves low spenders if they pay $15 a week.

      ...suddenly Super Mario Run is feeling really inexpensive in comparison. xD

    6. ...ick, yeah, I don't exactly go out of my way to avoid people discussing mobile games (I don't intersect with those discussions anyway), but they seem like a very sad bunch of people.

      At least these other mobile games have people playing for multiple consecutive weeks. I'm not seeing Super Mario Run do that.


      This is now a thing. Maybe I'll just write an article dedicated to it.


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