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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

KoopaTV Live Reactions: SOTU 2016

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring a depressed House Speaker Paul Ryan, PLUS Nikki Haley's response.

As you know if you live in America, any TV channel in the United States that covers news or commentary has its programming usurped by President Barack Hussein Obama's final State of the Union!

State of the Union 2016 Barack Obama finished speech
Well, it happened. That's all, folks?

Nah, I reacted to it. Kamek was kinda there too in some capacity. A long time before I was. I was actually playing our Game of THAT Year 2015 winner Splatoon to make the time pass, but that's not reflected in the log. Read on.

ultralink1 8:11 pm
    You there?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:51 pm
    are you here to listen to Obama in 9 min?
    (Well probably more since he'll probably be late!)

 Nintendork 13 13 8:55 pm
    I think we're live.
    Nikki Haley's doing the response in an hour.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:57 pm
    Except it's the "Republican Address to the Nation" as opposed to "Republican Rebuttal"
    because I guess they realised everyone knows they write their address prior to Obama's speech occurring.
    So it's not really a rebuttal.

 ultralink1 8:58 pm
    I'm still at work

 Nintendork 13 13 8:59 pm
    I thought that's why you came here!
    Well, are you being productive at work?

SOTU 2016 waiting for Obama
We're actually not blaming Obama for being late.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:00 pm
    Oh we don't have John Boehner to make fun of anymore.
    I wonder if Paul Ryan will do anything weird.
    To keep up the tradition.
    It's 9 PM and there's no Obama.
    His cabinet is coming in.
    So if Obama was supposed to start at 9 and everyone is supposed to be there already, then it's not Obama's fault he's late.
    If his cabinet is late too.
    It's a waterfall model!

 Nintendork 13 13 9:02 pm
    One has to happen before the other and if there's a delay, it ripples across the whole timeline!
    Paul Ryan crossing his arms and pretends to talk with Biden more.
    People still coming in.
    How big is this guy's cabinet?

State of the Union 2016 waving congressman congress senator to camera
See the guy waving. If you know who he is, let us know.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:04 pm
    Probably why he can't run the damn government properly.
    Way too many people to manage.
    This dude keeps waving to the camera on the bottom left
    I dunno who he is.
    Maybe he's a Hawaiian senator.
    ...nevermind not even close.
    I don't actually know if he's a senator but most of the people in the room are senators.
    So it's a good chance?
    Now the black dude next to him is waving too.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:06 pm
    Some random midget is next to Michelle Obama grinning like a freak.
    Mitch McConnell is walking behind Obama.
    Maybe he'll stab him in the back.
    McConnell seems like he awkwardly came in late too and is just trying to get to his seat.
    But he has to be behind Obama and wait for Obama to get there.
    ...Or, as I say, BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA.
    McConnell escaped the presidential toga. Good job.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:09 pm
    Literally yawning.
    woah, overlay
    dat social media hashtag (better use it)
    There's this dumb "OH-BAHM-A" chant.
    Obama's all, "Uh, alright. Let's bring this to order here."
    Paul Ryan lost his facial hair.
    Paul Ryan wishes he was where Biden is standing and it was Romney in front of him.

#SOTU hashtag State of the Union Obama

 Nintendork 13 13 9:11 pm
    Obama finally starting at 9:11 PM.
    Obama says he'll try to make this state of the union shorter.
    "I know some of you are antsy to go back to Iowa."
    Obama says that since it's an election season, then expectations of progress are low.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:13 pm
    Obama wants to protect kids from gun violence, getting a standing ovation from obnoxious people in his own party.
    "I wanna focus on the next 5 years, the next 10 years, and beyond."'s stream just went to split screen
    Of sihoulette Obama looking at the sky.
    Obama briefly going through American history.
    (Of changes.)
    Obama is on Team Future for Splatfest.
    So clearly I need to side against him.

State of the Union President Barack Obama sihoulette looking at the sky
It'd be cooler if the sky was more starry.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:15 pm
    (For y'all KoopaTV readers wondering: Barack Hussein Obama is why Tuesday's article ain't Splatfest-related.)
    (Wait for Wednesday.)
    "America has come a long way over the past 7 years."
    Paul Ryan hasn't applauded at all yet.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:17 pm
    Not even for veterans or trying to reduce drug addiction.
    So I guess he took that after John Boehner.
    Obama wants to be confident about the future, instead of fearful.
    Random Bill Cosby on a boat "The choice is up to us"
    Either that or Obama looks waaaay older.

Bill Cosby Barack Hussein Obama boat ship ocean
The choice is up to YOU: Is this Bill Cosby, or Barack Hussein Obama?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:19 pm
    Paul Ryan not clapping for "a politics of hope"
    Paul Ryan not clapping for "America has the strongest economy in the world"
    Paul Ryan not even applauding at the deficit being cut.
    Dude reaaaally doesn't want his job.
    He's so depressed!

 Nintendork 13 13 9:22 pm
    He'll star in Depression Quest 2 or something.
    Obama just praised No Child Left Behind.
    Now he wants pre-kindergarden for everyone

 Nintendork 13 13 9:24 pm
    because apparently that has a direct causation for being job-ready.
    Obama just said that job security with secure benefits is a luxury only likely had by the people in that chamber (Congress).

 Nintendork 13 13 9:26 pm
    Soooo term limits?
    Biden just talking to Paul Ryan
    joking about something.
    Since he was giggling.

State of the Union 2016 Speaker Paul Ryan Vice President Biden healthcare joke
Joe Biden and Paul Ryan are joking about something behind Obama's back!

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    A Republican finally was applauding when Obama said that not everyone present will probably agree on healthcare.
    "I also know Speaker Ryan wants to tackle poverty"
    Speaker Ryan not even applauding at his own name-drop.
    Democrats are applauding at Obama saying there is a disagreement among people about the role of government.
    Republicans finally applauding at Obama saying there are some regulations that need to be cut.
    ....Paul Ryan wasn't applauding though.

State of the Union 2016 Obama Republican Party applause cut regulations
YEAH! CUT THE RED TAPE! CUT THEM REGULATIONS! We'll ask later which ones end up getting cut.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:30 pm
    "Food stamp recipients did not cause the financial crisis! Recklessness on Wall Street did!"
    Obama's brighter future involves doing good for your customers means you're douing good for shareholders.
    Obama pissing off moon landing conspiracy people.

Barack Obama moon landing
Is Paul Ryan tearing up? Just wanna let you know that their heads are cut-off by the White House's doing, not ours.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:34 pm
    Biden believes that if we try to cure cancer the way we landed on the moon
    we'd do it!
    Joe Biden is on mission control to cure cancer.
    "What do ya say Joe? Let's make it happen."
    Talking global warming nonsense.

Joe Biden it's personal but I know we can do this cure cancer State of the Union SOTU
Will this be the one thing Vice President Biden gets right?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:36 pm
    Obama calling conventional power "dirty"
    "Solar employs more Americans than coal"
    because coal people are getting out of business thanks to Obama regulations!
    I dunno wot Obama is talking about now.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:38 pm
    Something about changing how we manage our oil so it costs more and then make a new transportation system?
    Obama says the rhetoric about our enemies getting stronger and USA is getting weaker is wrong.
    "It's not even close!"
    "We spend more on our military than the next 8 nations combined!"
    I remember when it was the next 9 nations

Bipartisan agreement support the military army troops soldiers
Yes! America is strong! Support the troops!

 Nintendork 13 13 9:42 pm
    I think Obama just said the UN is slow and inept.
    Paul Ryan nodding approvingly about protecting the USA and attacking terrorist networks.
    Obama says Al-Qaeda and ISIL (ISIS) are threatening us.
    I remember in 2012 he was saying Al-Qaeda was on the run!

 Nintendork 13 13 9:45 pm
    "We just need to call them what they are! Killers and fanatics, who need to be hunted down, rooted out, and destroyed!"
    "If you doubt America's commitment, or mine, then just ask Obama bin Laden!"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:48 pm
    Obama doesn't want to be the policeman of the world
    but now he's saying when nations come to the USA to solve their problems
    they should do so.
    But now he's saying we shouldn't come and rebuild every nation that comes to crisis.
    Oh they have House members too I saw Trey Gowdy.
    Nevermind most people are from the House of Reps.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:50 pm
    Obama praising the Iran deal.
    And stopping ebola.
    (Thanks for getting rid of ebola! It makes our HQ in Sierra Leone safer.)
    Weird laughing John Kerry in the splitscreen pic.

Laughing John Kerry creepy
The left side is live, the right side was provided by the White House. THEY think that's a flattering picture of John Kerry (all the way on the right).

 Nintendork 13 13 9:53 pm
    It apparently keeps our children safe to give aid to poor countries.
    We're in our grasp to eliminate AIDS and malaria, too!
    "That's why we need to reject any politics that targets people because of race or religion."
    Paul Ryan clapping at that.
    "This is NOT a matter of political correctness."
    (Is this a Trump reference?)

 Nintendork 13 13 9:55 pm
    "When politicians insult Muslims, whether abroad or our fellow citizens, when a mosque is vandalised or a kid is called names, that's not making us safer. That's not telling it like it is. It's just wrong."
    Some Republicans clapping.
    (Not Paul Ryan)

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 pm
    Obama says it's a good thing that we argue.
    "But Democracy does require basic bonds of trust between its citizens."
    "Or when we listen to only those who agree with us."
    (That's a bad thing and even Obama thinks so!)
    (Or at least he said it, dunno if he believes it.)
    "It's one of the few regrets of my presidency" that the divides between Democrats and Republicans got worse.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 pm
    Obama saying he's against gerrymandering.
    ...And reduce money in politics.
    "And most of you don't like raising money! I know! I've done it!"
    Obama is sad that it's apparently so hard to vote in this country.
    (I dunno, it's pretty easy.)

 Nintendork 13 13 10:04 pm
    The political divide is against everything America is about.
    or something
    Obama says "to vote" even if you disagree with him.
    "Know that each of us are only here because somebody somewhere stood up for us."

 ultralink1 10:05 pm
    Oh my way home

 Nintendork 13 13 10:05 pm
    Obama's sorta talking to you now, Kamek!
    Don't be so discouraged!

 ultralink1 10:05 pm
    >> why is he talking to me?
    How is he talking to me

 Nintendork 13 13 10:05 pm
    Well not directly. >_>

 ultralink1 10:06 pm
    *listens to car noises

 Nintendork 13 13 10:06 pm
    But he's talking to politically disgruntled people.

 ultralink1 10:06 pm
    Ami politically disgruntled?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:06 pm

 ultralink1 10:07 pm
    ... I didn't know that

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 pm
    ...Just my observation!

 ultralink1 10:07 pm
    What else is he saying?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 pm
    I dunno, whatever else I was saying the whole time.
    Obama seeing something in tons of people.
    Whether they be an ex-con, a businessperson, a justice activist, or a respectful cop.
    (I think it's the spirit of America but I kinda lost him.)

 ultralink1 10:08 pm

 ultralink1 10:08 pm
    How long has he been going at it?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:09 pm
    Uh... 57 minutes now!
    He's been going since 9:11.
    But he said it'd be a short speech.
    It's just as long as the others!
    Oh he's done

 ultralink1 10:09 pm

 Nintendork 13 13 10:10 pm
    Republicans are going to say...SOMETHING in a few moments.
    wtf there's some black guy on White House stream
    "Terrence J"

Terrence J. SOTU 2016 stream blue suit on curtain camouflage
Terrence J. is nothing but a head and hands.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:11 pm
    Who cares about this clown?
    "Use the hashtag S-O-T-U all night long!"

 ultralink1 10:11 pm
    He's black
    It's a tactical move
    Keep me updated
    I'm still driving home

 Nintendork 13 13 10:11 pm
    Well I closed the white house stream.

 ultralink1 10:12 pm

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm
    South Carolina Nikki Haley will give a response at some point pretty soon.

 ultralink1 10:12 pm
    Why do we care about her

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm
    Well Obama's done, so who cares about Terrence J?!
    She's pretty cute!

 ultralink1 10:12 pm
    Because he's black

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm

 ultralink1 10:12 pm

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm
    Well White House stream has an earlier-recorded Biden speech.

 ultralink1 10:13 pm

 Nintendork 13 13 10:13 pm
    Because Terrence J was in the background
    I think it's him
    might be another guy

 ultralink1 10:15 pm
    I think Biden has done a great job of making facial expressions and memes
    That's a win for the Internet

 Nintendork 13 13 10:15 pm
    But imagine Donald Trump's facial expressions.

 ultralink1 10:16 pm
    I wish I knew what differences he made in general

 Nintendork 13 13 10:16 pm
    Might be worth voting for him for Trump state of the unions.
    Uh... Every SOTU Obama's like

 ultralink1 10:16 pm
    Honestly Donald Trump doesn't make very different facial expressions

 Nintendork 13 13 10:16 pm
    "I'm tasking vice president Biden on this issue"

 ultralink1 10:16 pm
    Did you see that CollegeHumor thing with the video game state of the union

 Nintendork 13 13 10:16 pm
    Which I think means "nothing is going to happen"
    Terrence J's suit is literally camouflaging into the background curtain.
    Uh... did I?!

 ultralink1 10:17 pm
    Someone's getting fired for that
    politics is a lot based on appearance

 Nintendork 13 13 10:17 pm
    So there's just a floating head and hands.

 ultralink1 10:18 pm
    either the guy who hung up the curtains for the guy who gave him the suit that day

 Nintendork 13 13 10:18 pm
    Like he's a Mii or something.

 ultralink1 10:18 pm
    someone is getting in trouble
    So who are you voting for boss

 Nintendork 13 13 10:19 pm
    Still gonna vote for Rand Paul.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:19 pm
    I just want to note that
    Just because he's boycotting the Thursday Fox Business debate
    does not mean he's dropped out.

 ultralink1 10:20 pm
    That's cool

 Nintendork 13 13 10:20 pm
    He's probably quixotic by now though.

 ultralink1 10:20 pm
    why is he boycotting that debate

 Nintendork 13 13 10:20 pm
    Because Fox Business isn't letting him into the main debate.
    And he said his campaign is a first-tier campaign.
    And says the undercard debates should be eliminated.

 ultralink1 10:21 pm
    wait did he really

 Nintendork 13 13 10:21 pm
    (He said that before the news he wouldn't make it in)
    So because he said they should be eliminated

 ultralink1 10:21 pm
    Say those exact words

 Nintendork 13 13 10:21 pm
    and now he's been reduced to the undercard debate
    he's not going.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:22 pm
    "I'm not willing to accept a designation as a minor campaign."

 ultralink1 10:22 pm
    I'm surprised the internet didn't jump on the tier terminology

 Nintendork 13 13 10:22 pm
    "It won't take much for our supporters to understand why we're doing this," Paul said. "You want war? We’ll give it to you."
    Tier quote is here
    "I won't debate anything that's not first-tier, because we have a first-tier campaign," Paul told CNN's Wolf Blitzer on Monday.
    "By any reasonable criteria Senator Paul has a top tier campaign. He will not let the media decide the tiers of this race and will instead take his message directly to the voters of New Hampshire and Iowa," his campaign said in a statement.

 ultralink1 10:23 pm
    War is kind of a strong word to use is not it

 Nintendork 13 13 10:23 pm
    He doesn't want to look like an isolationist.
    Nikki Haley's camerapeople are moving on her stream.

 ultralink1 10:23 pm
    They must be starting soon then

 Nintendork 13 13 10:24 pm
    She's talking

 ultralink1 10:24 pm
    Does she have any like a real relevant like who is she

 Nintendork 13 13 10:24 pm
    She's the governor of South Carolina.
    "President Obama spoke eloquently about grand things. He's the best when he does that."
    But she says Obama's record wasn't so grand.
    "And this president seems unwilling or unable to deal with [ISIS]"
    She wants to talk about a new direction.
    "You've paid attention to what's been happening in Washington, and you're not naive."

Republican Address to the Nation Nikki Haley YouTube category sports
If politics is Sports, then will Electronic Arts make games based off of it?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:26 pm
    The live stream on YouTube is categorised as Sports.
    She says that Republicans also need to accept that Republicans suck too.
    "And then we need to fix it."
    "My family didn't look like my neighbours, and we didn't have much."
    (Growing up in the rural South)
    (She's an Indian)

 Nintendork 13 13 10:28 pm
    She's saying we shouldn't flat-out open our borders, but anyone who works hard and want to obey the law shouldn't be living in fear.
    "Stopping illegal immigration" but let "properly vetted" legal immigrants come in "regardless of race or religion"
    Referencing Dylann Roof
    shooting up a church.
    Play Capture the Confederate Flag to get revenge on Dylann Roof!
    "Our people would not allow hate to win. ... We didn't have riots, we had hugs."
    "We removed a symbol that was being used to divide us."
    (Capture the Confederate Flaaaaaag)

 Nintendork 13 13 10:30 pm
    "Some people think you have to be the loudest voice in the room to make a difference."
    "Often the best thing you can do is turn down the volume."
    "If we held the White House, taxes would be lower for middle-class families."
    (we = Republicans)

 ultralink1 10:31 pm
    Like the Republicans in general?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:31 pm
    If a Republican was elected.

 ultralink1 10:31 pm
    Does that include Donald Trump

 Nintendork 13 13 10:32 pm
    Well, tax-wise, yeah.

 ultralink1 10:32 pm

 Nintendork 13 13 10:32 pm
    Every Republican candidate wants to lower taxes in some way.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 pm
    She's done.

Governor Nikki Haley South Carolina Republican Response State of the Union SOTU 2016
Gotta have one flattering picture of Nikki Haley in here.

 ultralink1 10:33 pm
    I mean I'm not terribly upset with taxes the way they are

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 pm
    Wanting to make "America the greatest country for every man...and woman."

 ultralink1 10:33 pm
    What really?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 pm

 ultralink1 10:33 pm
    I hate when they play the gender card

 Nintendork 13 13 10:33 pm
    Well she could've said "every person" I guess.
    She kinda

 ultralink1 10:34 pm

 Nintendork 13 13 10:34 pm
    seemed to take more slights against Trump than Obama.

 ultralink1 10:34 pm
    I'm surprised Trump is getting any kind of support from anyone

 Nintendork 13 13 10:36 pm


KoopaTV will continue to bring you United States politics stuff because this Thursday is the next Republican presidential debate. It'll kinda suck, though.

If you really DO wanna look to the past and not the future, check out SOTU 2015 here.
In 2017, President Barack Hussein Obama gives his final speech... a FAREWELL ADDRESS!
SOTU 2017 features a new president from a new party!


  1. I don't know about politics in the United States, I'm from Spain, sorry >.<
    But I have heard about it u.u
    Good post, I learned about politics xD ;)

    1. Well, don't feel bad!
      There are people in the United States who don't know politics in the United States! (We want to educate those people — most of our readers are from the United States.)

  2. I feel really stupid reading this and not knowing anything .-. ... at least I learned something

    1. Don't worry — most of the stuff Obama said was distortion of the truth.


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