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Wednesday, September 2, 2015

KoopaTV's August 2015 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Aw shucks, it's that time of year where most of my readership disappears and starts school.

Howdy folks! August ended, and now we're entering September. If you know how to read a calendar (whether mounted, from Club Nintendo, or on your computer) you already knew that. So let's use the airwaves responsibly, as Marie the Squid Sister would say.

KoopaTV had a fine and dandy month in August. Nothing really new happened (so we won't have all the cool headings like from last month's newsletter), though we did officially start our coverage of the Republican presidential debates. That'll be a thing every month for a while (or twice a month for some months), so look forward to our awesome Super Contest judging style!

Speaking of judgment, we got 2 things to judge: The results for Round 3 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, and the top 5 recommended articles from the month of August!

According to our judging spreadsheet:
  1. Samantha Lienhard — 53 points
  2. JoystickLad — 47 points
  3. Sam — 11 points 
Round 3 was winner-takes-all, so congratulations to Samantha Lienhard! Hope ya enjoy your $10 eShop code!

So Round 4 started... yesterday, actually. THAT spreadsheet is here. What's the prize? Well... It's... even better than Round 3's!

First place will get the choice of $10 of Nintendo eShop credit, $10 of Sony PlayStation Network credit, or $10 of Microsoft Xbox Live credit! That's right — as long as you're not some PC-gaming pantywaist, mobile muppet, or nostalgia-only nitwit, any gamer can benefit from KoopaTV!

...Well, everyone can already benefit from our thought-enriching articles packed with truth & levity. Here's just five of my most-recommended, in chronological order, written during the month of August 2015:
  1. Your First Republican Debate Contest Contestants
  2. Konami: Boobs or Bust?
  3. Three Real Game Design Lessons: Super Mario Maker! 
  4. The Battle Flag of George Zimmerman
  5. The Reason Why Inklings Dissolve in Water — The EPA?! 
By the way. KoopaTV is going to be looking for videogame beta-testers and other feedback types soon. Stay tuned for more announcements on that. We're going to be awarding KoopaTV Loyalty Reward Program points for volunteers. We're also going to make a feedback survey in the coming... time periods. And you'll get rewarded for that as well, if you do it.

What else is there to say? KoopaTV is doin' great, and you're great for readin' it.

...Actually... no, there's something that's gone wrong in the world of KoopaTV... Something so wrong, that it's happened before. ...Twice. And it wasn't a very good outcome either time, so the third time might be the worst of all.

What the hell am I talking about? Stay tuned. ...You might actually enjoy it, but I don't.

Ludwig is talking about something important, but obviously he's leaving you on a cliffhanger. Speculate on what it could be in the comments, if you want. Either way, you should take advantage of all the opportunities KoopaTV gives you!

This is what has gone wrong.
Feedback survey is available two months later.
Read last month's July newsletter here! It was action-packed, and as mentioned, has headers.
By comparison, here's the newsletter on KoopaTV's second August back in 2014.

A year later brings KoopaTV's fourth August, and it may be the most impressive ever.
KoopaTV's September newsletter is here.

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