Nintendo Redirect: Occupy Nintendo Street!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Occupy Wall Street for Nintendo.

There is this Nintendo fan on YouTube out there named Shokio. He decided to organize a movement to represent the Nintendo fanbase to improve the Wii U. We all know what I think about these YouTube idol figures. Regardless, he and his minions want to give feedback to Nintendo about a list of things they want to see. What ended up happening?

A giant mob of morons on Twitter, Facebook, and Miiverse spammed the #NintendoRedirect hashtag and spouted a gigantic mountain of requests. Many people didn't even know what the hell they were asking for. In short, it was the videogame equivalent of Occupy Wall Street.

Punks defecating on AUTHORITY!

Shokio even admits that there are a large amount of things being asked for. When I engaged with his minions on Miiverse Sunday evening, they defended their large amount of requests by saying that they'll be begging for different things on different days (which ended up not happening). It's as if they think videogame development or operating system improvements happen instantly.

One guy in particular was demanding online multiplayer for Virtual Console games. Nintendo adding code and an online infrastructure to games where that sort of thing never existed defeats the whole purpose of why Virtual Console games are even being offered.

They also demand a new Star Fox and F-Zero game. We all know what Shigeru Miyamoto thinks about the latter and that's why that won't happen. As for the former, Emily Rogers wrote an excellent analysis on why that's not a good idea in our modern age. When people request a new Star Fox, they really want "Star Fox 64 2". In other words, a $60 game lasting 7 hours. That's unacceptable to Nintendo's value proposition. They're also selling less and less copies. There's a reason why those on-foot segments exist: To add length. If Nintendo wastes time making those games, they won't be able to make more profitable, valuable games. That's not to say those franchises should never get anything ever again... but they should not get AAA budgets like fans want, because they do not get AAA returns. Quite frankly, we know there is an idea and innovation deficit with them. Forcing Nintendo to prematurely do something with that will result in cheap, outsourced, and uninspired crap like Yoshi's New Island. Do you want all of your favourite franchises to end up like Yoshi? I hope not.

Another big thing they want is so-called cross-buy: You buy something on 3DS and get it for free on Wii U and vice-versa. Nintendo doesn't benefit from this at all. These whiny fans are speaking in an entirely different language than Nintendo (and not just English vs. Japanese). Instead, why not advocate a win-win change between Nintendo, consumers, and Nintendo's partners? What's a good example of that... Oh, I know! Why not lift the eShop ESRB-lock on games if the user has parental permission to buy them in order to not give digital games a disadvantage in the marketplace compared to their physical counterparts? As you can tell from that link, KoopaTV advocates just that and has been advocating that for months. Win-win means the fans aren't parasites off Nintendo, and everyone benefits.

Why would something like that work and not Shokio's Nintendo Redirect movement? Well, Nintendo isn't affected by fan petitions. That's confirmed by Reggie himself. (Good luck getting him in Smash 4 with your... fan petition.) The tactic that KoopaTV is advocating is not a petition, but a two-pronged approach by trying to get Nintendo's 3rd party partners, like Capcom, to lobby Nintendo for an eShop change. Capcom is motivated by profit, and the change would get them more. Nintendo would also make more profit because they get a cut of every sale. The other prong are Nintendo's contact forms, where they are forced, by company policy, to document the content of those forms. That means they're not disregarded like spamming Miiverse.

Let's go back to the Occupy Wall Street comparison, though. Neither are genuine "grassroots" movements. Shokio is a well-known punk (he admits this).  The founders of Occupy Wall Street, an organization named Adbusters, are well-known haters of capitalism. Both grab a bunch of minions to do their bidding and brainwash them into believing their every word. And both end up with a long list of incoherent demands that display absolute ignorance of how to run a business/country. Or anything for that matter.

Let's make this really clear: Nintendo is not a charity. They are a for-profit business. And you do not "need" videogames. Plus, if you have nothing to do on your Wii U, you either have too much free time or you're not trying hard enough to get the most out of it. My own experience involves a backlog of worthy Wii U games that are already out. When your life revolves around playing the newest games, you become a bum. Bums don't make money. Their parents funding their lifestyle do. Probably why Nintendo marketed to your parents for a whole videogame generation.

Remember when I told you to buy Greg Gutfeld's book, The Joy of Hate, for a Christmas gift? Nevermind that Mr. Gutfeld now has a new book out, but in that book he discusses how your parents are the ones in the Tea Party. Conservative values are "uncool" and "dorky", while your hip and rebellious self goes with Occupy Wall Street to go against "the man" (your parents). That's really what you're doing with Nintendo Redirect. The wiser older people end up getting things done (the Tea Party actually accomplished something and is still around) while the idiotic clueless children are drowning in college debt without an accomplishment to their name (see any more Occupy protests lately?). Smart people learn from the mistakes of the past and try not to repeat them. Smarter people learn from the successes of the past and try to repeat those.

Be smart. Don't support Nintendo Redirect. Customer feedback is important to any business. If you have some, present it intelligently. If Nintendo listens to everyone, they'll listen to the wrong people and we'll just end up with shit. Not counting the shit defecated onto a police car by an Occupier.

Ludwig is not a parent, but he is concerned about being one some day. He wants to raise his kids to play videogames, but not to the point of addiction where they would beg companies for more than they have the capacity to handle. His NNID is PrinceOfKoopas.