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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Fact-Checking: Rick Santorum's "Obamaville"

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Rick Santorum should know better than try to see the future.

I bet you don't remember this, but back in the 2012 Republican Presidential Primaries, failed candidate and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum released this ad titled "Obamaville". In it, he portrays a dystopian America in two years suffering under Barack Obama's policies. The ad was released March 25, 2012. It is now really two years later, and KoopaTV would like to take this exclusive opportunity to fact-check Mr. Santorum's claims.

You can deride KoopaTV as a right-wing rag all you want, but the truth transcends partisanship. And we hold everyone accountable. Let's start by watching the video.

The first 17 seconds makes our setting a "small American town". Well, I guess that could be a lot of places, and KoopaTV can't compare what this ad portrays to every small American town out there. That said, small American towns are so vague that some town out there might have been struggling under a President Santorum, as well. Or anyone else. Small businesses are also struggling, according to Mr. Santorum. According to a new Vistage/Wall Street Journal survey, most small businesses believe that the economy has improved or stayed the same since last year.

For completion, here are the same results from March 2013's survey. We're having trouble embedding it properly, so you can just look at the results yourself.

Small businesses will always "struggle" in some way. As will big businesses. Struggling is part of life. Families will be worried about their jobs and future no matter who is president: The future has not happened yet. It is a mystery. It is uncertainty. Businesses try to reduce uncertainty because it is uncomfortable and it is difficult to make decisions because of uncertainty. Too many variables floating around. But let's try to see a survey about it.

It's... pretty much the same?

Well that was unhelpful. How about job creation plans? That's another measure of comfort. You won't hire someone if you aren't comfortable that the marginal value of that worker is higher than the total costs associated with hiring that worker.

I might be reading this wrong because the labels suck, but '14 looks higher than '12 here.

The "Obamaville" commercial proceeds to discuss how the wait for a doctor is ever-increasing. We do not live in a world where healthcare is both free and doctors are always available on demand with no wait, like Pokémon. This is where Rick Santorum's future is accurate to reality: The wait for a doctor HAS increased thanks to the so-called Affordable Care Act. Unfortunately for Mr. Santorum, he is immediately wrong on his commercial's next statement that gas prices are "through the roof". This is something that is actually quantifiable.

Gas prices have fallen from March 2012 to March 2014. That's a direct contradiction of Mr. Santorum's soothsaying.

As for freedom of religion being under attack, that may very well be true right now, but those freedoms may be defended by the Supreme Court, depending on how they rule. Either way, since the Executive Branch cannot control the Judicial Branch (outside of appointing Justices, which Santorum would not yet have been able to do were he president), those court cases would have happened either way. They may exist because of President Barack Hussein Obama's Affordable Care Act legislation, but they are legitimate questions nonetheless.

Mr. Santorum proceeds to imply that by March 25, 2014, Iran will have acquired nuclear weapons. As of publishing, Iran does not have nuclear weapons. They have capabilities to build them, but in practice would not be able to do so. Additionally, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is no longer president of Iran as of last year. Mr. Santorum believed that in 2014, televisions would constantly be flashing Ahmadinejad's image. He was wrong.

Lastly, the commercial ends saying "Obamaville" is a cautionary tale, coming soon to A quick look there suggests there is no sign of it on that website. Another falsehood by Rick Santorum.

We would like to add that fortune-telling is prohibited within Judeo-Christian tradition. Rick Santorum follows that tradition, and therefore he is in violation of his faith. No wonder it's prohibited: This article makes him look really wrong on everything he said would happen. As a side note, KoopaTV has never told you what the future would look like. We have only conducted educated speculation and logical deduction. In other words, we're not hypocrites.

None of these facts, almost all contrary to Mr. Santorum's "prophetic" vision, say that America is currently rosy by any means under President Barack Hussein Obama. However, KoopaTV is forced to conclude that Rick Santorum, and his apocalyptic future is...

FULL OF SHIT. FALSE. Alternatively, it's full of the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

With that said, let's get that out of our minds and think about how wonderful the future will be when Super Smash Bros. 4 is released.

Ludwig himself is far from a liberal, and may even be considered a right-wing extremist. He supported Herman Cain during the 2012 presidential primaries and never liked Rick Santorum.

To prove that Ludwig can bash the left just as hard, click here.
To read Ludwig's social conservative rants, see this article.
Gas fell even further after this article was published. Check out the chart as of January 2015!
Rick Santorum isn't done being an idiot, and the American people punish him by putting him in the losers' debate for the first Republican 2016 Primaries debate.
Rick Santorum is the weakest Republican opponent in the 2016 primaries.

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