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Friday, March 14, 2014

Yoshi's New Failure

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The game is a critical disaster.

You know, today is the day. Yoshi's New Island has been released. I've been closely reporting on the game since KoopaTV was established. The whole Miiverse has been eagerly anticipating this day. After all, today everyone was ABSOLUTELY SURE that Masahiro Sakurai would announce Yoshi in Super Smash Bros. 4!

Tada! IT'S YOSHI! ...That's the name of the skateboard.

Well, that didn't pan out, now did it? Be sure to make fun of anyone who declared that Yoshi would be confirmed today. I always had a feeling he wouldn't.

On to more important things: Look at the Metacritic score for Yoshi's New Island. It's currently 64. It's 65.5% on GameRankings. As I knew it would, Arzest's involvement spells doom for Yoshi. Sakurai must have seen how bad Yoshi's New Island was and decided to do Yoshi a favour by not associating him with the game.

The moment Arzest was announced to be the game's developer, I expressed distress. Some thought I should give them a chance even after the disasters of Yoshi's Island DS and Yoshi's Universal Gravitation. Well, I even wrote positive, hopeful-toned articles for this game. That's giving them a chance!

And it's a waste. The game is shit.


That music is worse than my favourite track from Yoshi's Island DS to bash, the fortress theme.

...Nevermind, maybe it's not worse. Don't make me choose between the two.

At the risk of playing way too many platformers in succession, I'll still buy Yoshi's New Island. On cartridge. Probably used. Definitely not at full price. It's not worth $40.

Truly a tragedy.


Ludwig is a big fan of Yoshi's Island, and it's his favourite platformer of all time. Follow him at NNID PrinceOfKoopas to see his posts on Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, another great platformer!


Code Name S.T.E.A.M. also has some mixed reviews, and KoopaTV didn't really like that game while covering it either... 
Reviewers aren't the biggest fans of Yoshi's Woolly World either, but Ludwig doesn't care.

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