I would like to correct my rhetoric in my introductory article for Super Mario Run, Shigeru Miyamoto's Apple mobile system love child. I exclaimed a fear about “PAY GATES.” It's actually only one.
You can also, according to Nintendo's press release today, “try elements of the game's three modes for free.” That's a correction from my assertion that the Kingdom Builder mode would be only accessible after you pay money.
I also presumed that Kingdom Builder was a level editor mode, and it's...actually a glorified dress-up minigame. So, yeah, I wouldn't want to pay anything for that, either.
|You're not building something you can play. Just look at. Maybe it'll appeal to people who'd otherwise spend a thousand dollars on Nintendo Badge Arcade gambling?|
Annoyingly, Nintendo's official site for Super Mario Run doesn't allow me to directly link to its pages due to how they constructed the site, so take my word for the information I'm about to provide you for the rest of this article, or look everywhere on their site for your own self-verification. (But make sure to stay on THIS site, KoopaTV!)
Since it's in the title of this article, I better get out with what that one-time payment actually is. Well, it differs between location/currency:
Super Mario Run's one-time payment is $9.99 USD, £7.99 GBP ($9.96) for the British, ¥1200 JPY ($11.02) for the Japanese, €9.99 EUR ($10.73) for those suckers in the Eurozone, and $14.99 AUD ($11.32) for the Australians. Clearly, the British have the best deal (I'd like to credit Brexit for that), and Australia has the worst deal... as per usual.
The game will be released worldwide on December 15th, which doesn't feel like news because we already knew it was releasing in December, and December 15th is literally the most average day of December.
There's a trailer that goes along with the announcement, so take a watch if you want. There's absolutely nothing interesting or enticing about it.
Personally, I believe that thumbnail art of Mario doing a handstand on a Goomba's head to be incredibly demeaning towards Goombas. Goombas are living creatures with hearts and souls, not props for Mario's work-out routine!
Speaking of work-out routine, you may remember Shigeru Miyamoto lifting weights and eating hamburgers (thus more-than-undoing his weight-lifting) to prove the point about Super Mario Run being playable with one hand.
They haven't given up on that talking point. Here's the first thing you are greeted with on the Super Mario Run website right now, besides the December 15 release date:
|Why does Nintendo think this is the most compelling marketing point about Super Mario Run?|
Looks like they still want to make Super Mario Run very popular, even at the expense of others’ lives, like those Goombas.
Here's the ultimate question: Are people willing to pay $10 for 24 levels of what's sure to be derivative fare? Super Mario Run is Nintendo's first sidescrolling Super Mario Bros. game since the release of Super Mario Maker, the level-creating game that put the power to the people. And, as far as I can tell, Super Mario Run is directly taking after New Super Mario Bros., which is already something you can do in Super Mario Maker.
The challenge in a post-Super Mario Maker world is that Nintendo needs to clear the bar for what is possible to make through that, or it's not worth buying.
$10 for short mobile-sized platforming levels doesn't sound very appealing when you can get a better value on your 3DS, between Nintendo eShop titles from indie developers (and there's a glut of 2D sidescrollers from that) and Nintendo's already existing titles on the Virtual Console, including any of Mario's earlier platforming titles which have more content for a lower price. $10 can get you a long way, and fortunately for you, we're not just giving away $10 in prizes for KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 11 (from November to December), but $50!
...You can also get a better value for your time by going on the Internet and playing flash games of 2D sidescrollers, including 2014's A Koopa's Revenge 2.
Oh. Right. No flash on mobile devices. Well, there's zillions of stuff on the App Store. I'm sure you have better uses of your time and money than Super Mario Run. Browsing through KoopaTV on mobile-view may not be one of them, so be sure to come back on a real device, which has a broad enough definition to include your Wii U's Internet browser.
This article's currency conversions are as of writing, according to Google's built-in currency converter on their search engine. Ludwig doesn't recommend you go anywhere near Super Mario Run or any of Nintendo's mobile endeavours, for that matter. He does not have a smartphone of any kind, and if this is the type of stuff that would await him, he's fine never getting one.
It's December 15, and Super Mario Run has now released!