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Friday, December 26, 2014

On Christmas, only Nintendo Network remained

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Xbox Live and PlayStation Network succumbed to the reptilian overlords.

This is gonna require you to remember last year, okay? Remember when Nintendo launched Pokémon Bank and it caused the Nintendo Network (their online services, including the eShop and online play) to crash not only on Christmas day, but for several days afterward? It was completely embarrassing, and who knows how many sales were lost as a result of it. (That particular article looked at it through the lens of how much Capcom got screwed for making Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies digital-download-only.)

The cynics (including the usual anti-Nintendo imbeciles on NeoGAF) decried the whole situation as another "Nintendo is still in the 20th century!" "Nintendo's online infrastructure sucks! Get a PlayStation or Xbox One!" or something. Even though back then, those other consoles also had issues on Christmas Day.

Well.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Or, to be seasonal, "HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

This Christmas, as you may already know, Microsoft's Xbox Live was totally down. Sony's PlayStation Network was totally down. And you know who is claiming responsibility? Lizard Squad. And you know whose online service was not down? Nintendo's. I know that for a fact, since I used it multiple times throughout Christmas Day! Miiverse was a bit slow, but it wasn't inaccessible. And Super Smash Bros. For Wii U was wonderful. Millions of Nintendo fans had access to the wonders of Nintendo's online services while those other guys were left in the cold.

Hold up. Lizard Squad? Yeah, it's those same guys that Vortexica wrote about on Tuesday. Who knew they'd be back so... soon? They took down Sony's PlayStation Network earlier in December, too, and they returned to give them, and Microsoft, another round this Christmas.

Lizard Squad on Twitter "people take me too serious smh"
They're doing it for the evulz.

"Hey, Microsoft, you're stuck in the 20th century!"

"Hey, Sony, you're stuck in the 19th century! Your service was taken down multiple times in one month by the same guys!"

(To be fair, Sony allowed you to stream "The Interview" for $6 online and this was unaffected by their loss of service.)

We hope that everyone got the Nintendo gifts they wanted (and even more) and that Nintendo Network not being down this year is not a sign of Nintendo underselling on product. Anecdotally, I see a lot of people celebrating all of the sweet Nintendo stuff they just got, so hopefully Nintendo smashes the sales charts this time around.

And if you were a naughty person (like me) or you're not a Christian (like me), then you can always enjoy KoopaTV's own holiday gifts to you such as our Christmas Carol secular song... or... our free videogame that you can play right on our site, Defend Anita Sarkeesian! Our network services were up during Christmas, too.

See you next week!


Ludwig likes seeing poetic justice, even if in this case it means that a bunch of lizards had to do it. Which Ludwig isn't against, as a scale-covered fellow himself. You can Follow him at NNID PrinceOfKoopas on Miiverse, where he keeps posting pictures of... himself in HD, scaly-glory.


What happened to Lizard Squad after? We don't know, but a key member got convicted of over 50,000 hacking charges.

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