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Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Mitt “Mario” Romney's Dog is Yoshi, not Bowser

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Also, it's fairly awful that the senator is (kind of) dressed up as THAT PLUMBER.

In an unfortunate (and arguably fitting) turn of events, Senator (and former Republican presidential candidate of 2012) Mitt Romney of Utah sort-of dressed up as “It's a-me, Mario!” for the weekend immediately preceding Halloween, and got some of his grandchildren into it too. There's Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Toad, and Toadette.



I'm not a fan of Mitt Romney's record as a governor, as a presidential candidate (I supported the anti-Romney slate, going from Herman Cain to Newt Gingrich to Ron Paul... and then he totally choked in the general election against President Barack Hussein Obama), and now as a Senator. But the above photo is perhaps the worst thing he's ever done in his life. Dressing up as Mario as Halloween? And he says he ENJOYED it? (Well, zoom in on his face... it doesn't REALLY look like he's having a good time, but I'll take his word for it.)

This is unconscionable. Even worse, he didn't just do it himself. He brought part of his family into it, steering them into a very bad direction. And if it was his grandkids’ idea to begin with, he should know better than to normalise the Mario Brothers. People are getting upset about posing as the likes of Fuhrer Adolf Hitler, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, or as any black person for Halloween, but Mario is the absolute worst. A genocidal monster on an unheard of scale. And Mr. Romney wasn't doing it to mock the devious red-hatted plumber with overalls (though Mr. Romney omitted the overalls for the photo... and perhaps for the entire day). He “enjoyed” it, and even said, “It’s a-me, Mario!”, clearly tying his personal reputation to Mario's, becoming one and the same. And he also described the occasion as “Happy” as opposed to somber or anything, for the lives of the millions of Goombas and Koopas murdered by him.

But beyond that, there is an even deeper question that people are asking from the photo above:



There are several comments stating Mitt Romney's dog is Yoshi, and there are also several comments proclaiming that it must be in a King Bowser Koopa costume. It's of the opinion of Koopa Kingdom that it's clearly meant to be Yoshi. It could be a Yellow-coloured Yoshi, given the odd colour of the head garb that Romney's dog has on, but regardless, it's a Yoshi.

Mitt Romney family dog Halloween costume Yellow Yoshi Bowser Koopa
Mitt Romney's dog is emulating the left side of Yoshis, not the right side of King Bowser Koopa.
(Sort of like Mitt Romney's revenge-based politics in feeling guilty about sharing a political party with President Donald John Trump.)


First of all, Yoshi makes way more sense. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Toad, and Toadette? Yoshi is far more likely to hang out with that Mushroom Kingdom crowd than the King of Koopas is. Second, Yoshi is pretty much treated as a subservient “pet”, often a target of Mario's abuse, such as Mario punching Yoshi to get him to stick its tongue out. This is similar to how the Romney family have historically treated their dogs. In addition... I mean... just look at the photo. The dog is clearly trying to emulate Yoshi's dermal plates that come off of its neck.

King Bowser's hair looks nothing like those plates. His hair is red, yes. But as you can see from the photo, Master Bowser's hair is continuous and flowing, with some spikes and elevation atop a well-established bed of hair. Meanwhile, the Romney mutt has several points where the plates lack elevation, just like Yoshi's dermal plates. Also, King Bowser's head is a dark green, and there is no equivalent to the colour that the dog has on its head on the scales of the Lord of the Koopas. Additionally, where is his spectacular horns on the dog? Nowhere. But the placement of the dog's eyes and nose match Yoshi's eyes and nose quite well.

The more you look and think about it, the more it's clear that the dog is meant to be Yoshi. Which makes the photo overall all the more easy to condemn. It's the Mario Bros., their abused and carnivorous dino dweeb, the incompetent ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and her obnoxious friend, and the kingdom's pathetic subjects. That general theme is consistent with the Romney family and the legacy he's left for the United States, and it's all the better that Koopa Kingdom has absolutely nothing to do with that. Our claws are clean!



Going into a Halloween costume as a Koopa would be a laudable thing (at least, compared to going as Mario—it's best to forget Halloween entirely), assuming the costume is well-made and very accurate and there isn't any trace of there being a human inside. There's little worse than ugly human-Koopa hybrids.

4 comments :

  1. I would like to see more people dressing up as Nintendo characters. Putting aside the implications of the grandchildren dressing as luigi and daisy, the costumes are pretty good. I did not know they made toadette costumes, the hair looks kinda off but I'm glad they acknowledged that there are different characters in the toad family other than the usual white and red one. I would agree that the dog is yoshi, if it were bowser the red parts would be all in the same area, and furry. If this photo had been taken alongside the 2012 election, it quite possibly could have made a difference. Not a big difference obviously, but a difference all the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like your opening sentence here contradicts your opening sentiment in your recent Gordo PSA.

      If this photo was taken in the 2012 election, I would've outright supported people voting for Barack Hussein Obama. >.>

      Delete
    2. Gordo are Nintendo characters. I didn't say they should dress up as different Nintendo characters. A family of Gordo, and their little Gordo weenie dog would be quite nice don't you think?

      Delete
    3. You'd have to draw a Gordo weenie dog for me.

      Delete

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