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Wednesday, July 6, 2022

Splatoon 3 to have a Nintendo Switch (OLED model)—not a new hardware revision, FAKE NEWS media!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The hardware looks FRESH.

I very recently wrote an article admonishing the FAKE NEWS media (and clickbait addicts) for “leaking” “insider” information about an upcoming Nintendo Direct—they got it wrong twice in one month. In that article, I slipped this line...
“Thankfully, unlike last year's long list of disgraceful media outlets and personalities that promoted FAKE NEWS, I didn't come across anyone saying there'd be a new Nintendo Switch hardware revision revealed.”

But just one week later (July 5), we get this stupid video titled “Is a Switch Pro Reveal Imminent?! Nintendo Privates Switch Lite & OLED YouTube Trailers” from the insufferable folks at GameXplain. (Specifically Joey Ferris.) I'm not embedding it because it's a shameful piece of garbage, and I don't recommend you actually click that link and give them a view. It's pretty funny they start the video with:

“Hey everyone, Joey here, with a quick news update. So, let's talk about the Switch Pro. ...Again. To be fair, I think it's been a while since we talked about new Nintendo Switch hardware rumors, and I think that's because the Switch OLED kept them quiet...for a time.”

I think it's telling that their news update is sharing rumours, based entirely around Nintendo putting the Nintendo Switch (OLED model) debut trailer video on the private, visibility setting, which you can see for yourself on KoopaTV's article on it exactly one year ago. Like this article, that article talked about an OLED model while also putting heavy emphasis on bashing the FAKE NEWS media. Here is more testimony from the FAKE NEWS:
“It seems like they're gearing up for a reveal of new hardware soon. Whether it's the forever-rumored Switch Pro, a 4K Switch, or a SWITCH OLED Lite. In fact, the timing does line up with the reveals of the Lite and OLED, as the Lite reveal trailer dropped on July 10, 2019; and the OLED was revealed on July 6, 2021. Meaning the one-year anniversary of that trailer is tomorrow! Maybe we won't see the new hardware reveal tomorrow, but we're betting maybe sometime in the next week or so.”

Now let's talk about some REAL information. REAL NEWS over in this Nintendo-published press release. On August 26, 2022, there will be a Splatoon 3-inspired Nintendo Switch (OLED model) for sale, joining a multitude of other Splatoon 3 merchandise such as a Splatoon 3-themed Nintendo Switch Pro Controller (not to be confused with the fake Nintendo Switch Pro system) and a Splatoon 3-themed Nintendo Switch Carrying Case, both to be available on September 9, the same summer day that Splatoon 3 releases.

Nintendo Switch OLED Model Splatoon 3 Edition front and back
There's a 45-second video Nintendo published of what the hardware looks like. But this image shows you most of it.
Looks nice. I like the Joy-Con gradients.

While the regular Nintendo Switch (OLED model) has a suggested retail price of $350, the Splatoon 3 version will have a suggested retail price of $360. That's one dollar for every degree that the FAKE NEWS media rotates whenever reality doesn't agree with their boosting of false information. If only it was half of that, then they might reverse course and cease this years-long stupidity!

Maybe Nintendo put the Nintendo Switch (OLED model) video on Private because they now write the hardware as “Nintendo Switch – OLED Model”. Throughout this article, you can tell that Ludwig has yet to get the memo, and he keeps writing it as “Nintendo Switch (OLED model)” like Nintendo originally did. Like, you can actually see the terminology shift between the archived versions’ titles and descriptions (July 6, 2021 vs. November 8, 2021). Nintendo is being a bit inconsistent in today's news release on if this should be a hyphen or an en-dash, because their video has a hyphen at the end, but their title and description and press release have an en-dash. Either way, it's not as big a problem as what GameXplain is putting out there for content!

Media outlets collectively gave up on promoting a new hardware revision for the rest of 2022.

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