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Friday, October 29, 2021

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 50: We're not at good enough shape, yet

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Where are the Sportans?

Once upon a time, KoopaTV was doing KoopaTV Fitness Fridays for the purpose of being fit enough to play and win at the Olympics for Koopa Kingdom's glory. Now it's just about being fit in general and not being sedentary. To that effect, I've been playing a lot of Ring Fit Adventure—so much so, that I'm on a third playthrough, in a mode called Fitness Master. I'm playing on difficulty level 30. But I'm having some trouble maintaining interest already, since the third act of Ring Fit Adventure is lacking the story and characterisation that the first two acts had. Still, Week 49 at least introduced how Fitness Master's shops work.

On Sunday, upon entering World 50: Fitness Master Lv. 293, Ring said two dialogue boxes worth of vapid stuff about how we gotta keep up our fitness... and that's all the dialogue I'm going to get. ...Where are the Sportan NPCs? We're in the Kingdom of Sporta now. Last time we were in Sporta, it was World 27: Extra Fitness Lv. 187 and we got a hero's welcome. Like, the first level is called Sportan Waters. We're in their territory. Why aren't there any NPCs to greet us? The cold greeting got my muscles feeling... cold, too, and I felt uncharacteristically exhausted after doing some simple Pendulum Bends and Leg Scissors. Still, I pressed on to the Sportan Swamp. There was a Treasure Chest at the end with an Orange Almond Milk. Next was the Crate Crasher (Novice) Game Gym which I A-ranked for 500 coins. Then I crossed the Sportan Bridge. It's probably not good that I went through the whole day in one paragraph without elaboration.

Ring Fit Adventure good things come to those who train dialogue
Ring's second and final dialogue box was, “Don't stop now! Let's charge ahead!”
Could good dialogue come to those who train, too?
Also, Ring didn't attribute his quote source. Though I Internet-searched and found someone printed a shirt of the quote.

On Monday, I traversed to Dojo Sporta. I obviously screwed up most of my day, because when I tried doing Mountain Climbers to clear the second group of enemies (a wave of four), my right hip got in quite a bit of pain, probably meaning I wasn't active enough throughout the day and it's not stretched sufficiently. Still, I persevered, and ran into the next stage, Sportan Highway. I immediately wanted to run the opposite direction because it opened up with one of my nemeses, the poor-Ring-detecting Overhead Side Bend trolley. I did complete the level, though it was quite lengthy for an early-game level at taking over 12 minutes to complete. I became an Overhead-Side-Bend Authority for my troubles (the Title given to Overhead-Side-Bending over 1000 total times... the next and final rank is at over 3000, which I clearly won't meet in my lifetime), and proceeded to this world's warp zone to encounter the Core Crushing Game Gym... but Novice difficulty. I could S rank this easily on my first try, and I got 5 Peaches for doing so. It's just the Advanced difficulty that I can't S rank. And I don't know how anyone else can, either. That ended Monday's training.

On Tuesday, I finished up the warp zone by clearing Out-of-the-Way Way and collecting the two overworld Treasure Chests, containing (from left-to-right) one Defense Drink and one Citrine. I went back to the normal part of the overworld to re-re-raid the Sportan Treasury and its miniboss fight: A Hoplin+, a Red Stomper, and a Blue Hoplin+. I easily knocked out the minions in two turns with Front Press Lv.4 and Tricep Kickback Lv.4 (and today I'm apparently unable to get Greats! while holding the Ring-Con in my left hand for the first half) and then focused on the Red Stomper with Overhead Press Lv.4 and Back Press Lv.4. And I finished it four turns with those moves because I used a Strawberry Smoothie to make my attacks stronger so I wouldn't be doing this all night. No reason to keep hoarding these in the final playthrough. My arms felt genuinely sore afterwards, so that's it for Tuesday.

On Wednesday, I went to the last level: Dragaux Stadium. After a quick river-rowing exercise, I encountered dancing Dragaux, who discussed how I gotta be focused on my core and use good form with Knee Lifts. Ring also chimed in that I gotta be looking forward doing Knee Lifts, not looking down at my legs. ...Who the hell looks down while doing Knee Lifts?

Anyway, the boss fight is Dragaux and a Red Matta Ray+ and a Yellow Matta Ray+. Beating the two clerics first with three-range spread moves should take about three turns. Then it's focusing on fighting Dragaux with one-range Fit Skills. Upon getting to under half health, Dragaux had me do the first MEGA AB GUARD of Fitness Master, which wasn't a big deal this time. It's pressing the Ring-Con into your stomach while doing a squat, and... holding it for a period of time. I didn't keep track of how long, but it couldn't have been over half a minute, could it...? Anyway, I beat Dragaux. Easily. He dropped a Citrine (can't we move onto the next stone already?) and pondered if there is such a thing as being in “good enough” shape. Leaving it as an open question, he flew off to prepare the next world...

Ring Fit Adventure Dragaux dialogue where do you draw the line good enough fitness
Wherever I'm drawing the line... I'm clearly not in good enough shape right now. I'm a disaster.

Ring Fit Adventure Week World 50 exercise log Fitness Master Lv. 293
I finished this world on Wednesday because I needed Friday open for Event 2 of the NintendoVS US Fall Open 2021.

Ludwig not only has to go through bad dialogue, but there's just no dialogue now, despite the world having established NPCs in it. He finds this discouraging. Did the Sportans all go extinct? Did Dragaux forcibly relocate them somewhere as he was preparing the world for Ludwig?

None of Ludwig's questions were really answered, but World 51 brings back one of the Four Masters for dialogue.

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