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Thursday, December 15, 2016

Super Mario Run Released; Sprinted Up Sales Chart

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hopefully this is the last mobile-related article of the year.

Today is December 15, and as I wrote before, that means the most relevant thing to talk about today is Super Mario Run's release. Due to its free-to-purchase-but-you-need-to-spend-money-to-be-relevant nature, it has already made its way to the top of Apple's most-downloaded apps list. I never contested that's what would happen.

What I do contest is how long people will want to keep doing anything with it. Miitomo collapsed. So has Pokémon GO's user base, and no Johto update will fix that. (Its audience will wonder what the hell a Johto even is.) Take a look at the results of this series of GameFAQs user polls:

Pokémon GO GameFAQs polls of the day playrate Pokemon still playing popularity
Sources: 7/13/2016 Poll of the Day.
7/23/2016 Poll of the Day.
8/06/2016 Poll of the Day.
12/13/2016 Poll of the Day.

While anyone who knows GameFAQs knows that its userbase doesn't traditionally appreciate mobile gaming, right after Pokémon GO's release all of the Pokémon-related boards on its forum became the most popular, even for really old games from generations ago.

Of course, Super Mario Run is different than those other Nintendo games on mobile platforms, though Nintendo has directly made making Super Mario Run as popular as Pokémon GO its goal. It's a one-time payment, unlike Pokémon GO and Miitomo which continually try to extract micro-transactions. I don't know enough about the mobile market to make a determination about whether that's better or worse for sustained activity, but I do know that the game is going to be relying on people playing its 24 levels over and over arcade-style, with people sharing their non-hacked (thanks to its always-online requirement) scores with their friends in the Toad Rally mode.

I don't have anything else to say about Super Mario Run I haven't already written about, so I'll just nitpick its iTunes Store page. That's my idea of riveting content.

First of all, player reviews are not available yet. I guess a certain amount of time needs to pass before that happens? It's a favourite tactic of mine to screenshot unfavourable reviews from iOS users of mobile games, so that's upsetting I can't do that for this. Here's what scores there are, just in stars and not words:

Super Mario Run iTunes store Apple customer ratings stars
I wish we could see what those one-star raters are thinking!

The game being an EDITORS’ CHOICE certainly would help its sales and reception that an application not chosen by “the editors” (Apple's staff?) wouldn't be able to receive.

The first thing that is in Super Mario Run's description is... you guessed it...
A new kind of Mario game that you can play with one hand.”
I can't help but be irritated at the whole one-handed marketing whenever I have to talk about Super Mario Run, since the one-handedness is mentioned as the #1 marketing point in any appearance Super Mario Run has.

Concerning Toad Rally mode: 
Compete against the stylish moves of other players for the highest score as you gather coins and get cheered on by a crowd of Toads. If you’re impressive enough, the Toads may even come live in your kingdom.”
Does anyone playing give a crap about whether or not they impress a group of Toads? People immediately attacked Paper Mario: Color Splash for its Toad-centered focus, so they aren't the most popular species. I mean, I sure don't like them, personally, so I can't see how random Apple users could possibly want two modes based off of them. The second of those Toad-modes, Kingdom Builder mode, says:
“Create your unique kingdom with buildings and decorations that you acquire with the help of Toads gathered in Toad Rally.

There are over 100 kinds of items in the Kingdom Builder feature!”
The only area I'd want to build with Toads is a Koopa Kingdom-managed slave labour camp, like the Twinsy Tropics Dungeon in Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam. Unfortunately, if such a kingdom were buildable in Super Mario Run, I would have to grind for it like a slave to get the items needed from the 100+ possible item drops I could get. (That's probably how they plan to make the game continually played!)

I see Super Mario Run as Nintendo making a product and promoting it on two things people don't care about: Being able to play with one hand, and being littered with Toads. Could Toad's voice-acting be the reason why Nintendo is so tone-deaf? (Listen to the following voice-acting video at your own risk.)

If you really can build a slave labour camp in Super Mario Run, let Ludwig know in the comments. Also let him know if you spend the $10 on the game so he can judge you for it, and any other thoughts you've been saving for Super Mario Run until now. Ludwig is getting tired (or weary) of having to talk about mobile trash in order to properly cover Nintendo.

Well, that Pokémon GO Johto update is out now...


  1. ♪It's what the investors wants, why bother to complain?♫

    1. Nintendo is willing to literally just ask the investors to trust them.
      Like, this conversation is literally what was in the last investor meeting with Kimishima and the investors.


      I meant to parody this line.

      Also I don't even open this "game" up anymore but the evil rabbit is in on it too:


    3. Nate

      15 hours ago


      Dat guy has the right idea.

    4. Looks like the investors DON'T want it.

  2. With all of the Nintendo games releasing on mobile devices, I may not need the Switch anymore! I'm especially looking forward to Angry Pikmin.

    1. ...Oh yeaaaaaah what happened to that 3DS Pikmin game?

  3. Kody, Angry Pikmin! Sounds great. As for me, I can't wait for Clash of Fire Emblem. And Words with Animal Crossing. ;)

    The thing with the "Kingdom Builder" is that it's the kind of thing that you create things with for no purpose. Like in Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer. It seems to not really be a game mode, more of a doll house mode.

    1. ...Why can I actually see those being made, especially Words With Animal Crossing?


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