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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Get a BB-8 Display, Donate to Charity: Watch Jareditton!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The exciting “get” part is only feasible if you're in New Mexico to pick it up, though.

I think New Mexico is getting a really bad rap in the news lately. Donald Trump just had a great rally inside a venue there (according to him), but everyone is only talking about what happened outside of it. Which was chaos, with protestors attacking Albuquerque, New Mexico police with rocks and bottles. If I were them, I'd shoot those scum. (People have been killed in self-defence, while getting away with it, for having less or nothing at all!)

Donald Trump New Mexico Albuquerque convention center tweet Twitter riot protesters thugs Mexican flag
Donald Trump's news reporting on the New Mexico rally.

If you only want to focus on the “thugs”, then yeah, it's a terrible place. But the big, beautiful rally inside represents the goodness in the hearts of many of the New Mexico people.

One of those is KoopaTV darling Jareditton. Jareditton is organising a charity stream on his YouTube channel, with the exact stream link here. Details can be found on this Facebook event, but we actually have details that his event page does not. Because I asked him.

We have the full story about the charity stream, but to get the critical information prior to the page break: It's 1 PM to 9 PM Mountain time this Thursday and Friday (May 26 and May 27). That's 3 PM to 11 PM Eastern. Watch it at his YouTube channel. The charity is Children's Miracle Network, and you can pick up a BB-8 display stand. It looks like this:

Wal-Mart BB-8 droid Display Stand shelf charity livestream prize Star Wars The Force Awakens
Imagine, say, your Disney Infinity collection on this thing.
(...Hahaha, Disney Infinity is cancelled. Put amiibo in it instead.)

So, Jareditton will be giving out the BB-8 display stand from a Wal-Mart located here: 2250 Main St NW, Los Lunas NM 87031. How did he manage to put this together? Well, he WORKS at that Wal-Mart, and they had no idea what to do with the stand after it outlasted its welcome. I mean, Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out half a year ago, and they can't keep it there forever. And the movie wasn't even that good. BB-8 was adorable in it, but it's time to move on.

Since Disney doesn't go and pick up their store displays, it's up to that Wal-Mart to figure out what to do with it. Jareditton described it to KoopaTV this way:
“I work at Wal-Mart and we got in an argument over who got to keep the display then I decided to do this and the manager said ok” 
All I hear is demonisation of Wal-Mart from certain members of society (which tend to be the same people that protest Donald Trump rallies and attack police officers), but this manager seems like a pretty cool guy. Jareditton as well, of course. So both the management and the rank-and-file are cool, chill folks, being attacked (figuratively and literally) by people who throw rocks at police officers and their horses.

Donald Trump chingas tú madre riot protest New Mexico sign
They're even threatening Trump's mom, and she's not even alive!

Anyway, what's with Children's Miracle Network? Wasn't I writing twenty days ago that I don't care about charities that help children?

...Yes, yes I was. That said, not everyone thinks the way I do, and the world is a better place for it. Here's what Jareditton said about that charity:
“Well actually I didn't get the pic [SIC] it was the store manager who picked it out”
They raise money to fund local children's hospitals all across North America, helping save their lives. Here's one of the many things the dudes at Children's Miracle Network Hospitals say:
“These kids aren’t in faraway countries or from opposite sides of the nations - they’re in your community. They may be your own children.”
Excuse me? Over here in Koopa Kingdom, we got a lot of medical problems going on with our young, and not a cent of this money will go to help Koopas! Speak for yourself about what your community is! Sheesh.

...Clearly, though, the folks at Wal-Mart want to help the people in their community, not mine. And if you want to help them (and not us — though we JUST published about how much shelled creatures need that help), then donate on Jareditton's stream.

Every dollar you donate is a raffle ticket. Suppose Jareditton only raises $5 from the stream, which I'm guessing will be drastically below expectations. So you have an 80% chance of winning if you donated $4 and someone else donated the last $1.

So... what exactly is being streamed? Jareditton told us:
“I will be streaming star wars games”
Star Wars Episode I: Racer title screen Nintendo 64
Could Jareditton plan to play this on his stream?
...Let's hope not.

That should be a learning experience for many of you out there, especially if you're like me and the only Star Wars game you've played is Star Wars Episode I: Racer on the Nintendo 64. (I find that Mickey's Speedway USA was the better licensed racing game.)

In all seriousness: KoopaTV is happy to promote Jareditton's stream. He's a friend of ours, and we're indirectly helping charity! But you can directly help it if you go to his stream and donate to it. It'll be on his YouTube channel, already linked at the beginning of the article. But here's the straight-up link again:

Hope to see you there. He hopes to see you there more than we do, anyway.

Ludwig will stop by, perhaps for long periods of time, for Jareditton's streaming. KoopaTV will still publish content during the next two days, so of course he won't be watching Star Wars games ALL day. There's work to be done! Ludwig also hopes that Jareditton will contribute more cool content for KoopaTV in the future.

Electronic Arts wants to help charitable people like Jareditton with their new charity thing announced.
One bad modern Star Wars movie isn't enough. Now there is one being released literally every year after.

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