There is another Splatfest this Saturday in North America, making the gap between them only two weeks long as opposed to three. Are you naughty, or are you nice?
|A certain element in society is drumming up a Turf War on Squidmas...|
Are you on Team Naughty, or on Team Nice?
I thought about bucking your expectations for the heck of it, but, nah, I'll be true to myself. OF COURSE I'm on Team Naughty! I mean, come on. I don't really need to explain why, right? ...Well, I might have to.
|Callie is also on Team Naughty, though it's never explained why and she didn't seem to have a choice in the matter.|
Well, I can't (canonically) explain Callie's Team Naughty position. However, I can explain my own since you're due some explanation for someone out there.
"But Ludwig!" A strawman might begin, "You've been claiming for over a decade that you and Koopa Kingdom are the good guys, and Mario is evil!"
Very important to note: "naughty" and "evil" aren't equivalent. They once were, but according to Wiktionary, that's been archaic for centuries! So "naughty" just means you misbehave. To misbehave means you act inappropriately or improperly.
And what, exactly, should be scorned about that? I'm proud that I act not according to the "proper" ways created by these so-called "nice" people. "Nice" people just try to please. Being "nice" is literally just being agreeable and pleasant. They're the status quo. No boundaries pushed. No great things can happen under a "nice" person. You gotta step on SOMEONE's toes, and it'll be a naughty person. A naughty person ENJOYS that.
Let's be specific. There's the "naughty" Koopa Kingdom. We run our kingdom like no one else. We're not traditional compared to the other kingdoms. And I think it's pretty good. Meanwhile, look at the Mushroom Kingdom. It's horribly mismanaged. The economy is in shambles. The national spirit is one of weakness. All attention in the place goes to the princess and her jerk ("nice") friends as they try to placate the failing people with really lame sports events.
|Nice guys finish last, you know. So King Dad never tried to be nice again. It's had some...effects on his parenting skills, let's put it that way.|
...So yeah, I'm proud to be naughty. I take pleasure in it. And I like having naughty minions who take pride in their naughtiness. They tend to be motivated and perform well! You think a "nice" person is going to go far in life? Nah, they'll do the bare minimum because that's what's acceptable. And "nice" people don't think for themselves and go along to assist in evil, painting the opposite side as unjust and something that must be destroyed. Just look at what the plumber does. He's the real evil one, and in his world, it's the "nice" thing to do to kill thousands of Koopas.
|The expression of the average "nice" guy worker.|
Besides, naughty people bring a whole revenue stream to the noble coal industry that wouldn't otherwise exist!
So yeah, I don't see naughtiness as evil or even bad. It's fun. It's chaos, something we already sided with. Naughtiness promotes individualism much more than niceness, which is aligned with the collective. I'm pretty happy with that reasoning.
Are YOU a naughty person? Or are you a goody-goody nice person? Let KoopaTV know in the comments. Just know that KoopaTV viewers are more likely to be naughty.
See last Splatfest: Pizza vs. Burgers!
Team Naughty wins! Take that, Team Nice! We're too good! Or bad.
Let's talk much more about Squidmas.
Two years later: Different game, different Splatfest theme... same holiday season!