KoopaTV's Facebook Defunct (So Is Ludwig's Account) (Updated 10/10/15)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Crisis? Well, guess we got Google+ and Twitter left.

This wasn't what I planned to write about today. (Actually, I didn't really have a plan, but it sure wasn't this.)

So it turns out that Facebook doesn't like (as in, wished to permanently ban) my Facebook account, which was "Luddy Von Kooper" or something like that, after it didn't like "Ludwig Von Koopa" after years of safe usage. This also means they do not like KoopaTV's Facebook page. Here's a statement from Facebook regarding the matter:

    "It looks like you’re not using your real name. We require everyone on Facebook to provide their real first and last names, so you always know who you’re connecting with.
In order to get back into your account, please send us your real name and a copy of your ID."

The ID-verifying methods are listed here. It's already bad that they want my cell-phone number, but now they want a social security card too? Or a birth certificate? Well, then Barack Hussein Obama should be banned off Facebook too, since he sure can't provide those!

Facebook is one of a few social media sites that have this "real" name requirement. (I AM really Ludwig Von Koopa! WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME, ZUCKERBERG?) Google+ doesn't have it. Twitter doesn't have it. LinkedIn does have it. ...Which, you know, makes sense. Pinterest doesn't have it. (I still don't even know what Pinterest IS.) Instagram doesn't have it. (That's a social network?) Miiverse doesn't have it!

So what's Facebook's problem? They're out to get not only KoopaTV, but roleplayers too. That includes drag queens, so progressives should be mad too. I think. Despite our differences, we should really come together and coalesce. Because dozens of people get their KoopaTV news via Facebook!

(Beats me why they don't just check KoopaTV themselves every day since we obviously publish SOMETHING new every weekday. And everything on the site is worth reading!)

In unrelated news, KoopaTV is looking at the Scotland secession election closely. We pretty much support every secession movement, so the more the merrier! In the meantime, I'll be seceding from Facebook! (Whether I like it or not!)

Update 9/21/14: Facebook is also requiring whatever ID I send in to have a photo that matches what my Facebook photo is. Here is what my Facebook profile picture was:

Yeah, I'm still cool. But what kind of ID photo is this?

Facebook had the nerve to e-mail me this. I've never gotten this kind of e-mail from them before. (Probably because I always read my notifications.)

I would LOVE to, but I'm BANNED WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JERKS.

Well, at least I'm still in their system, but this is BLATANT MOCKERY.

Update 5/2/15: Even though I unsubscribed from their e-mails a while ago, Facebook all of a sudden (end of April) decided to inform me that I'm missing out on the birthdays of my Facebook friends. So, what the hell, I decided to try to sign onto Facebook. Still got the "you're banned please verify your identity" message. So I said my first name was Ludwig, my last name was Koopa, and sent these three images for identification:

You may recognise this from the article
on Puzzles & Dragons's demo.

'cause a certain company wanted selfies.

And here's just a pic of me sittin'.

Well it turns out that Facebook has now created a "Support Center" to basically detail the "case". The Support Center is generated from a url that I don't have to be signed in to access, so I'm omitting that url obviously.

"Hi,

It looks like the name on your Facebook account may not be your authentic name. We ask everyone to use the name they go by in real life so friends know who they're connecting with.

Please help us by responding with your first and last name.

If the name on your account is already the name you use in everyday life, we would like to work with you to verify that this name best represents your identity.

We accept a number of documents to allow you to verify your everyday name. Learn more in our Help Center.

We appreciate your patience, and thank you for being a member of the Facebook community."

So I replied to them:

"My name is Ludwig Koopa. I don't have ID that can verify this.

I would like my Facebook page that I have adminship over, KoopaTV, deleted. I can't make edits to it because I'm banned from Facebook, so I would like it removed entirely."

In January I got in a tussle with Facebook support over this issue. Basically I said I didn't have any ID, but all I wanted to do was delete the KoopaTV Facebook page because it looks really bad for us to have that page there without updates. Makes people think that KoopaTV died in September. Anyway, the support flunkie said I can delete the page from the page's admin panel, but I said I couldn't access it because I'm banned. Then he said I can be unbanned if I give them government ID to verify my identity. ...Okay, so trying to avoid going in circles, I said that if I put a page up on KoopaTV stating that I wanted the page saying they represent KoopaTV to be deleted, would Facebook honour my request? No reply.

Well, to my surprise, Facebook replied to my "I don't have ID but here's my name" response you saw up above with,

"Hi Luddy,

Thanks for your response. We've changed your name and reactivated your account. You should now be able to log in."

...What? Then they said some shit about how I can't change my name in the future without going to Facebook support first but who cares.

"This case has been closed, so you don't need to do anything else. Thanks for contacting us."

Facebook also offered a 5-emote rating scale of very frownie face, frownie face, neutral face, happy face, and joyous face of my experience. I rated it very frownie face and declined to give a written comment, 'cause, y'know, if they look at my case again they might wonder why the hell they gave my account back and then just reclose it.

It's going bye-bye. Not that it was really around for the past 7 months.

So what did I do? I deleted the KoopaTV Facebook page. Bye! Well, it's "unpublished" now and it'll be in limbo for 14 days to make me wonder if I really want it eliminated. And I do. I'm done with Facebook. Worst social network.

Update 10/6/15: Well, it happened again.

This is so annoying, and yet I was so right before in removing my Facebook presence.

What the hell. I spent yesterday night going through Herman Cain's anti-Rand Paul article post engaging the commenters asking them to explain their outrageous allegations against Rand Paul. I guess one or more of them must've reported me (these are my fellow Tea Partiers!) and here we are. Even though Facebook was totally fine for some reason back in May 2015.

Well, back at square one of growling at Facebook's shitty existence.

Update 10/10/15: This speaks for itself.

"It looks like your account was suspended by mistake. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience."

...........Um, thanks for letting me back in, I guess? Don't do it again.

Ludwig hopes that KoopaTV's viewership numbers don't plummet as a result of this. Get the word out and share this to your afflicted Facebook friends, since he can't do it himself! He also pledges to make fun of Google+ less often. You are free to Follow KoopaTV on Twitter and Follow Ludwig on Google+, and subscribe directly to KoopaTV (look at the bottom for some RSS and e-mail subscription options)!

There was an article over a year ago on "Knowing When We Update". It's relevant to this.
KoopaTV has created a Tumblr to try to replace Facebook.
Nintendo is allowing Facebook thugs to play Super Mario Maker... instead of banning more folks!
Fox News is allowing Facebook thugs to monitor the Republican debates... instead of banning more folks!