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Monday, August 26, 2013

Aisha Tyler's Dear Gamers Note

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Inclusive.

Notable actress and Ubisoft E3 representative Aisha Tyler last year posted a widespread Facebook note proclaiming to the world how much of a hardcore gamer she is and how lame certain parts of the gaming community are. She references this note even now! Go read the note before reading the rest of the article. You don't have to Like it or anything.

First off, she's takin' quite a few liberties with who she presumes her audience to be, but she's probably right for the most part. After all, she's older than the age of the average gamer (35). No idea how you can be a "dorm champ at Leisure Suit Larry" since it's an adventure game and all. Those don't take skill, just knowledge/memorization. Or a guide. Anyway, being a gamer isn't being about irresponsible. Yes, some gamers are irresponsible, but there's nothing unique about a gamer's dedication to gaming than that of a hobbyist of any other sort. In other words, everyone can be a bit irresponsible. So missing movies you've paid for because you're busy playing the arcade in the lobby is no more noble than a car enthusiast driving in circles in the theatre parking lot!

Aisha Tyler is going to shoot you with a machine gun
"You're gonna die tonight motherfucker!"

Hey, you voice-acted two videogames? So did I! And I developed them too! And I didn't get any money from that. I did it out of the joys of game design. Especially scenario-based game design. All you do is consume content, while you're bashing many people who actually produce content and create value. And for the record, don't act like the game industry isn't a "real job". There are many different sub-sections of the game industry — journalism is one such section, and a particularly important one.

One particular issue I have with Aisha Tyler, and perhaps the underlying reason for this article, is that she's the ultimate product of the feminist/women's liberation movement. She's the dream. An empowered independent black woman who...ultimately aspires to be just like a man. Really? That's the end goal? "Girl wood"? Listen, I may not know much about anatomy, but girls do not get wood.

Wood is for men, like Wood Man.

What's the point if you're just trying to go from two distinct genders to becoming just like men? What happened to embracing your differences? We're not equal in the sense that we're similar. We're dissimilar, but it's in our unique differences that we're created equal, and how we use those differences that merit springs. Popularizing "girl wood" just means that you aspire to become a man, but you can't. Because you're a girl. Who can't have wood. It's a self-defeating premise and a self-defeating goal. It culminates to a miserable inferior existence.

You don't need to appeal to the perceived lowest denominator of "noob jackholes". A lot of the consumer base of the game industry are composed of gals now. But people like Aisha Tyler are perpetuating that it's a male-dominated environment. It's not a male thing. It's a dumbass thing. That's not exclusive to a gender. It's not "only males are allowed to enjoy Xbox Live", it's "only dumbasses enjoy it." ...At least in the way we're talking about.

Here's a thought, though. You could hang out with games and systems that aren't in existence because of dumbasses. I hear Miiverse is relatively nice. You claim to play "all the consoles", so surely that includes the Wii U, right? You should already be on Miiverse, then!

Speaking of Miiverse, you're free to Follow Ludwig at NNID PrinceOfKoopas. That way you're ensured not to see the content of dumbasses!

It's not a sexism-dominated culture. It's a jerkass one. Anita Sarkeesian doesn't recognize that.


  1. You kind of seem like an asshole

  2. It's kind of presumptuous to think she was having a go at game developers.
    The obvious insinuation from her post is that she was responding to all of the *other* game consumers out there (who you apparently don't care much about)

    As for the whole "girl wood" debate. Who ever said she was trying to "Be a man"? Seems as though you're the only one who's saying that. From my perspective, it seems as though she's just trying to be herself, and YOU'RE the one who's perpetuating video game culture as a male-dominated environment.

    Seems like you would do well to get your head out of your hypocritical asshole.

    1. But no, I wasn't perpetuating that video game culture as a male-dominated environment.

      Only guys have wood. Girls get other thing. "Girl wood" is trying to become masculine. ...She even described herself as masculine in the conference that just happened.

      I didn't write this because Aisha is a female and I have a problem with that. 'cause I don't, and I enjoy her antics at E3. (I was looking forward to Ubisoft just now JUST because of Aisha.)

      I beliiieeevvee I was referencing videogame journalists when I mentioned producing content and create value. I wrote this 10 months ago, but I believe that's what I was getting at.

      I was a bit peeved at her making her out to be so incredibly better than a lot of people just because she voice-acted, though.

    2. Have you ever stopped to think that "girl wood" is just a joke. Jesus fuck calm down

    3. Read the disclaimers on this site.

  3. Anita Sarkeesian has made us all twitchy that any strong female gamer is actually a fake.

    Hurrah feminism.

    1. And that's a shame on Sarkeesian's part.

      I continue to have a big beef with Sarkeesian not because she's exposing how the industry poorly writes characters, but because she refuses to outline what she spent her money on, she blames anti-feminist blowback on right-wing talk show hosts, and she refuses to answer non-pre-screened questions.

    2. (In other words, she's the worst kind of fascist as she tries to make herself the representative of all female gamers.)

  4. You're an embarrassment to the gaming community.Just showed this to some of my co workers at a big AAA studio. We make games for people like Aisha and hope people like you don't play them

    1. Thanks for the publicity!

      (Though I'm curious what "people like you" means.)

  5. This can't be serious, man. Not only is your response over a year late, but you talk about Aisha's words for a paragraph then randomly up and move on to feminism, then randomly the Wii U as some kind of terrible segway into announcing your Miiverse presence? What are you, man; 13 or mentally under developed? Legitimate question

    Checked out those games, too, bro. What did you do? Say "Gosha" in a high pitched voice?
    Damn man, you're right, that level of commitment is just intense. I'm really happy for you, but it's absolutely shocking you didn't get paid for your 15 minutes (if you can even find a way to round it up to that). That's real love for the business right there.

    Also, you've never done competitive speed runs?

    You know, I hate saying this about people because I feel it's an absolutely ridiculous thing to say, but you really don't seem like a gamer at all.

    1. Hey, KoopaTV didn't exist in 2012! (And speaking of things being a year later, look at you compared to this!)
      And as written in the article, Aisha referenced the note she wrote a few weeks before the article was published. To be honest, that reference (recent at the time) was how I knew the note existed to begin with.

      Those italicized footers are at the bottom of every KoopaTV article. Read around. It might explain why I'd jump to feminism, too. That's the kind of stream-of-consciousness commentary website this is. I stand behind the segues I use in this article.

      "Gosha" was in a low-pitched voice, too. Along with a lot of other things in some other pitches. And it took a lot more than 15 minutes to make. Or voice-act.

      Wait, where did you get the "you've never done competitive speed runs" question from? I've barely even talked about speed runs on this site. The only two times I've ever mentioned speedrunning on KoopaTV was in a live reaction log saying 3D World had them during one of the Nintendo Directs, and... that speedrunners can handle not having a game where you skip levels in a map screen. As a matter of fact, I've tried speed-running before, or at least getting good record-times, most memorably for me in Kirby Super Star Ultra and Diddy's Dash mode in Donkey Kong Country 2 GBA. Like, you're complaining that my article randomly ups and moves on to a subject, and then you do the same thing!

      Yeah, that's a ridiculous thing to say. Glad you're self-aware. We need more people like that.

      Thanks for the comment!


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