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Monday, August 22, 2016

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to Rio 2016's Closing Ceremony

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - WH-WH-WHAT IS HE doing there?!

I cannot believe it. What can I not believe? Read our log. (Or wait for tomorrow's article, which'll be dedicated to it.) This isn't clickbait. Seriously.

KoopaTV's staff (or, three of us — myself as Nintendork 13 13, RawkHawk2010 as RawkHawk2010, and Kamek as Ultralink1) live-react to the CLOSING CEREMONY of the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

The part controlled by Brazil's culture? Well, mediocre. But then they hand off the Olympic stuff to Japan midway. And...that is where things get DRAMATICALLY more interesting. And important.

...And even Nintendo-related. And not just from us making tangents, but the SOURCE MATERIAL does it. So, here's the log:

RawkHawk2010 7:46 pm
    i can't believe gilmore was a governor for four years before those debates
    he seemed like someone they just picked up off the street

 Nintendork 13 13 7:46 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 7:55 pm
    oh
    IT'S ALMOST 8

 RawkHawk2010 7:57 pm
    yuh
    gotta find me some advil

 Nintendork 13 13 7:59 pm
    k

 RawkHawk2010 8:01 pm
    i see a clock

 Nintendork 13 13 8:01 pm
    I hear dudes talking.
    And see the crowd.
    I see the fake Wright Bros.
    They're still on that?

 RawkHawk2010 8:02 pm
    HAWLUCHAS

 Nintendork 13 13 8:02 pm
    uh

 Nintendork 13 13 8:03 pm
    Those aren't Hawlucha.
    ...neither is that.
    That's closer to the new dancing bird in Alola.
    Wot's its face?
    Origiri?

 RawkHawk2010 8:04 pm
    i just call them the Dancing Birds

 Nintendork 13 13 8:04 pm
    They're formed up in Christ.
    Are we synchronised at all?

Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony Christ the Redeemer Jesus formation
As you might expect, the people of Brazil will fail to top Jesus. Why put Jesus first?


 Nintendork 13 13 8:05 pm
    ORICORIO
    Origiri are a typo of onigiri, the Japanese riceballs.

 RawkHawk2010 8:06 pm
    it's at a commercial for me now

 Nintendork 13 13 8:06 pm
    I'm not at a commercial.
    They're still dancing.
    I'll refresh

 RawkHawk2010 8:06 pm
    I'm on a TV tho

 Nintendork 13 13 8:07 pm
    oh
    cheater
    <_<

 RawkHawk2010 8:07 pm
    link me

 Nintendork 13 13 8:07 pm
    http://stream.nbcolympics.com/nbc-day-16-primetime-et-ct
    I'm on a commercial now

 Nintendork 13 13 8:07 pm
    "are brought to you by Toyota"
    "By Jif"

 RawkHawk2010 8:07 pm
    Jif is a victim of the Mandela Effect

 Nintendork 13 13 8:08 pm
    uhhh
    wot

 RawkHawk2010 8:08 pm
    There are like, more people who call it "Jiffy's Peanut Butter" and it was never ever officially referred to as that.
    But people think that's what it was offically called.
    It may be because they're subconciously fusing "Jif" and "Skippy's" together.

 RawkHawk2010 8:09 pm
    (Poor Peter Pan.)
    Martinho

 Nintendork 13 13 8:11 pm
    Herman Cain's a better singer.

 RawkHawk2010 8:12 pm
    Paper Martinho: Color Splash

 Nintendork 13 13 8:12 pm
    :|

 RawkHawk2010 8:13 pm
    That blew.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:14 pm
    National anthem again.
    I remember you sorta liked it.
    But you didn't realise it was the anthem until halfway.
    Well these kids are eerie.

Children kids choir Brazil national anthem white suits Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
You can think they're cute if you want, but I don't like 'em.


 RawkHawk2010 8:14 pm
    yeah I wouldn't have known here either.
    Yeah
    They looks like when the Willy Wonka kids entered the shrink room.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:15 pm
    Maria Bueno reminds me of Nancy Pelosi.

 RawkHawk2010 8:15 pm
    http://i.imgur.com/0Rgq8bz.png

 Nintendork 13 13 8:15 pm
    And she's standing next to Trayvon's brother.

 RawkHawk2010 8:15 pm
    and lol yeah
    This isn't...as charming as the first time I heard it.

 RawkHawk2010 8:16 pm
    Right now it sounds like a quirky Mario Party mini-game theme.
    Melody-wise.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:16 pm
    Maybe they changed the anthem.
    >.>

 RawkHawk2010 8:16 pm
    "Opening ceremony got bad reception. Change EVERYTHING!"

 Nintendork 13 13 8:17 pm
    Kids are going away.

 RawkHawk2010 8:18 pm
    wtf is this commercial
    The Pink Plumber
    Oh
    Atlanta specific.
    There's a plumber who drives around in a pink van.
    Weird.

 RawkHawk2010 8:20 pm
    birds

 Nintendork 13 13 8:20 pm
    I hear their commercials all the time on WSB.

 RawkHawk2010 8:21 pm
    Yeah, I remember hearing the phone number jingle now, but had never actually processed how weird the concept was.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:21 pm
    Mr. Plumber is their premium sponsor I guess.
    And he's a plumber expy.
    Like
    Mari0
    https://www.coolray.com/

 Nintendork 13 13 8:22 pm
    The NBC talking heads loving Simone Biles.
    Like, romantically.

 RawkHawk2010 8:22 pm
    didn't even know who that was before now
    Would Ryan Lochte and friends have been here for this if not for the controversy?

 RawkHawk2010 8:26 pm
    when do they hand it over to tokyo

 Nintendork 13 13 8:26 pm
    The end.
    Probably.

 RawkHawk2010 8:26 pm
    and when is the end lol

 Nintendork 13 13 8:26 pm
    In 3 hours.

 RawkHawk2010 8:26 pm
    ...
    LOL
    oh hey I actually like this music I think
    Sounds like something from that one world of Tropical Freeze.

 RawkHawk2010 8:28 pm
    Oh god but it's like a Jungle Climber song where it loops ever twenty seconds.
    every*

 Nintendork 13 13 8:29 pm
    I'm not really paying attention.
    This isn't very exciting.

 RawkHawk2010 8:29 pm
    yea
    might have to lie down

 Nintendork 13 13 8:34 pm
    uh
    They're doing a montage of Simone Biles?
    ...Or people taking pictures of her?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:37 pm
    .....

 RawkHawk2010 8:40 pm
    back
    had to find some grapes
    PUNCH-OUT!!

 Nintendork 13 13 8:42 pm
    uh

 RawkHawk2010 8:42 pm
    It's Little Shak!
    Was that a commercial specific to me?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:43 pm
    *nod*

 RawkHawk2010 8:43 pm
    Oh, lol.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:46 pm
    Free digital programming from The Olympics year-round?
    "The Olympics channel"

 RawkHawk2010 8:47 pm
    clever scheme

 Nintendork 13 13 8:48 pm
    Will the Olympic Channel have all these annoying commercials?

 RawkHawk2010 8:48 pm
    Almost surely

 RawkHawk2010 8:49 pm
    Seems like free money.
    Since I'm preeetty sure no one makes money from selling Olympics DVD boxsets.
    ...do they?

 RawkHawk2010 8:51 pm
    where's vortex lol

 Nintendork 13 13 8:54 pm
    I dunno
    well
    His computer might be totally screwed.

 RawkHawk2010 8:54 pm
    shiiiiiit

 Nintendork 13 13 8:54 pm
    I'm waiting for Kamek personally.
    I haven't taken any screenshots since
    uh

 RawkHawk2010 8:55 pm
    I want them here for Color Splash. :(

 Nintendork 13 13 8:55 pm
    the eerie national anthem kids.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:58 pm
    Wot is even happening?

 RawkHawk2010 8:59 pm
    maths

 Nintendork 13 13 8:59 pm
    I like math.
    I don't like this.

 RawkHawk2010 8:59 pm
    Now I see teepees.
    Or dresses.
    Man those dresses are hideous though.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:00 pm
    Something about slave women.

Slave women dresses dancing Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
Rawk has a two-frame .gif of these “Gothitelle” later on. Don't miss it.


 RawkHawk2010 9:00 pm
    They all look like Gothitelles.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:00 pm
    Those white-dress ones aren't.

 RawkHawk2010 9:01 pm
    lol i just print screened something

 Nintendork 13 13 9:01 pm
    So did I, but it wasn't funny.

 ultralink1 9:01 pm
    okay okay
    i'm here

 RawkHawk2010 9:01 pm
    yo

 Nintendork 13 13 9:01 pm
    Hey Kamek.

 ultralink1 9:01 pm
    link agian
    again
    :D

 RawkHawk2010 9:01 pm
    http://stream.nbcolympics.com/nbc-day-16-primetime-et-ct

 Nintendork 13 13 9:01 pm
    ya that
    You're cultured.
    Maybe you can explain this.
    ...after their commercial.

 ultralink1 9:04 pm
    so many commercials
    .......
    wut
    >>
    "Brazilian ballet"
    best of?

 RawkHawk2010 9:04 pm
    Sounds like teeth-brushing.

 ultralink1 9:06 pm
    well
    if they were wearing pink

 Nintendork 13 13 9:06 pm
    They said I feel great no matter what happened in my day from listening to this music.

 ultralink1 9:06 pm
    it would be normal ballet

 Nintendork 13 13 9:06 pm
    This is REALLY HURTING MY HEADPHONES
    AND I HAVE A HEADACHE

 RawkHawk2010 9:07 pm
    eat fruit
    it cures headaches

 Nintendork 13 13 9:08 pm
    Gonna get milk and raisins.
    brb

 ultralink1 9:11 pm
    not very impressed

 Nintendork 13 13 9:12 pm
    Back.

 RawkHawk2010 9:13 pm
   http://i.imgur.com/8v6RkN5.gif



 Nintendork 13 13 9:13 pm
    You guys didn't say anything besides Kamek's unhappiness.

 RawkHawk2010 9:13 pm
    made that

 Nintendork 13 13 9:13 pm
    lol

 ultralink1 9:13 pm
    can we call it a gif
    if it's two frames?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:13 pm
    Yes.
    If (image > 1 frame)
    then image == gif
    Yo, Kamek, talk about the Olympic events you watched.
    Did you watch Renaud Lavillenie?
    In men's pole vault?

 RawkHawk2010 9:15 pm
    kenya

 ultralink1 9:15 pm
    i watched little to no olympics

 RawkHawk2010 9:15 pm
    ^ lol

 ultralink1 9:15 pm
    I'm pretty upset about it

 Nintendork 13 13 9:15 pm
    ...So I guess that makes Vortex the only dude who really did?
    ...and he's not even here.
    Watching this was HIS idea.

 RawkHawk2010 9:16 pm
    I watched water polo.

 ultralink1 9:16 pm
    also this theme would go good in a videogame

 Nintendork 13 13 9:16 pm
    Unless it was Rawk's.
    I forgot.

 RawkHawk2010 9:16 pm
    Wasn't as exciting as Nuts & Bolts made it out to be.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:16 pm
    I know you wanted us to watch Equestrian, Rawk, but...

 RawkHawk2010 9:16 pm
    Vehicular Water Polo > Real Water Polo

 Nintendork 13 13 9:17 pm
    ...I figure playing Pocket Card Jockey is more exciting than watching it.

 ultralink1 9:17 pm
    i want no man's sky

 ultralink1 9:17 pm
    question

 RawkHawk2010 9:17 pm
    Playing solitaire is probably also more exciting than watching it.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:18 pm
    lol
    Ya?

 ultralink1 9:18 pm
    is Harambe still relevant

 RawkHawk2010 9:18 pm
    yes

 Nintendork 13 13 9:18 pm
    As a meme, yeah.

 ultralink1 9:18 pm
    I need some sort of
    KTV
    propaganda to pose with

 Nintendork 13 13 9:18 pm
    I think his memetic presence is even more
    oh
    uh
    To pose with?

 ultralink1 9:18 pm
    Because I live 30 minutes from that zoo

 RawkHawk2010 9:19 pm
    https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UpCXXm8e1So/VzwOjhmCmmI/AAAAAAAAAGk/oOYv3XoWTPQYfjzmQhSl2VEFKWK9W0XZgCLcB/s1600/KTVFr.png

 Nintendork 13 13 9:19 pm
    no  >_>

 ultralink1 9:19 pm
    ....

 Nintendork 13 13 9:19 pm
    WE'RE NOT AFFILIATED WITH THAT

 ultralink1 9:19 pm
    I'm going to go to the zoo in the winter

 RawkHawk2010 9:19 pm
    yes we are

 Nintendork 13 13 9:19 pm
    Ask Vortex to send you his mug.

 RawkHawk2010 9:19 pm
    It's even in the Two Year Anniversary video, lol

 ultralink1 9:19 pm
    so I need something to show
    so when I visit

 Nintendork 13 13 9:19 pm
    ...or to produce another mug.

 ultralink1 9:19 pm
    I can show KTV propaganda with his statue

 Nintendork 13 13 9:20 pm
    Wait, he actually has a statue?
    I thought that was part of his meme.

 ultralink1 9:20 pm
    well

 Nintendork 13 13 9:20 pm
    OH
    TOKYO

 ultralink1 9:20 pm
    no it's a generic gorilla statue at his zoo

 Nintendork 13 13 9:20 pm
    FORMAL HANDOVER HAPPENS

 ultralink1 9:20 pm
    but

 Nintendork 13 13 9:20 pm
    THIS IS IMPORTANT TO WATCH

 ultralink1 9:20 pm
    wait what?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:20 pm
    JAPANESE PEOPLE

 RawkHawk2010 9:20 pm
    tokyooooooooooooooooooooo

 ultralink1 9:20 pm
    GMM?

Yuriko Koike handing off Tokyo Japan Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
Yuriko Koike, governor of Tokyo, with some losers.
In case you're wondering, Tokyo is also a prefecture, and prefectures each have governors.


 Nintendork 13 13 9:20 pm
    Governor of Tokyo is a woman.
    Elected three weeks ago.

 ultralink1 9:21 pm
    Governess?

 RawkHawk2010 9:21 pm
    Tokyo has a governor? >.>
    Not a mayor?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:21 pm
    I guess?
    Who are these kids?

 ultralink1 9:21 pm
    .......

 Nintendork 13 13 9:21 pm
    Rio keeps bringing these crappy kids to sing.

 RawkHawk2010 9:21 pm
    Apparently she's a Japanese ultra-nationalist.

 ultralink1 9:21 pm
    my stream literally just froze

 Nintendork 13 13 9:21 pm
    REFRESH

 ultralink1 9:21 pm
    Most japanese are ultra-nationalists

 RawkHawk2010 9:21 pm
    That people are mad at cuz she wants to censor Japanese war crimes from the school textbooks.
    I like this anthem.
    Is it the Japanese one?

 RawkHawk2010 9:21 pm
    Sung by South Americans?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:22 pm
    Her name is Yuriko Koike.

 ultralink1 9:22 pm
    whose military is that?

 RawkHawk2010 9:22 pm
    Cuz it's better than anything of this other shit we've heard tonight.
    any*

 ultralink1 9:22 pm
    I dig the hair of the females

 Nintendork 13 13 9:22 pm
    All nappy?

 RawkHawk2010 9:22 pm
    Is that the Rioan Jeb Bush standing next to her?

 ultralink1 9:22 pm
    Huge hair is cool

 RawkHawk2010 9:23 pm
    I like that march.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:23 pm
    lol

 ultralink1 9:23 pm
    huge hair or long hair

 Nintendork 13 13 9:23 pm
    Who is the cowboy?

 ultralink1 9:23 pm
    the march is weird
    Also where are they going

 RawkHawk2010 9:23 pm
    "also where are they going"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:23 pm
    (I finished my grapes and milk already. :()

 RawkHawk2010 9:23 pm
    lolololol

 Nintendork 13 13 9:23 pm
    Yo this sounds Japanese.

 RawkHawk2010 9:23 pm
    I was wondering that too.

 ultralink1 9:23 pm
    ....

 Nintendork 13 13 9:23 pm
    These kids are wearing earbuds.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:24 pm
    Rioan Jeb! waving the flag.

Thomas Bach president International Olympic Committee flag Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
It turns out this is Thomas Bach, president of the International Olympic Committee.
He's German, not Brazilian or French. Believe it or not, he is also not JEB! Bush.


 RawkHawk2010 9:24 pm
    PLAY GINYU TOKUSENTAI
    PLZ

 ultralink1 9:24 pm
    they're probably in ear monitors

 RawkHawk2010 9:24 pm
    AND LET THE FEARLESS COLOR DEFENDERS COME OUT

 ultralink1 9:24 pm
    very expensive
    Wooo! French

 Nintendork 13 13 9:24 pm
    Now wot?

 ultralink1 9:25 pm
    Joe frazier won gold in boxing
    that's cool

 Nintendork 13 13 9:25 pm
    Please stand for national anthem of Japan.

 RawkHawk2010 9:25 pm
    Jay-Pahn

 ultralink1 9:25 pm
    Clarissa shields won back to back gold medals

 Nintendork 13 13 9:25 pm
    So wotever anthem was playing earlier wasn't Japan's, Rawk.

 RawkHawk2010 9:25 pm
    Oh

 ultralink1 9:25 pm
    in boxing

 Nintendork 13 13 9:25 pm
    The stadium suddenly transforming into Japan's flag.

 ultralink1 9:25 pm
    .....>>

 RawkHawk2010 9:25 pm
    This sounds like Blue Dragon.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:25 pm
    With robot girls

 ultralink1 9:25 pm
    I never heard the japanese national anthem
    whoa

 Nintendork 13 13 9:25 pm
    That look like Magierna.

Magearna robot girls Japan flag Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
Magearna, the Artificial Pokémon. It will be available in Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon.


 RawkHawk2010 9:25 pm
    lol what the fuck is this

 ultralink1 9:25 pm
    that's creepy

 Nintendork 13 13 9:26 pm
    Or whatever the Diancie thing is.
    Fake rain

 RawkHawk2010 9:26 pm
    It's creepy but I like it.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:26 pm
    or real rain.
    I dunno.
    wtf

 ultralink1 9:26 pm
    looks real dude lol
    ?
    arigato

 RawkHawk2010 9:26 pm
    Now I'm at a Diet Coke commercial.

 ultralink1 9:26 pm
    Romanji

 RawkHawk2010 9:26 pm
    For absolutely no reason.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:26 pm
    I'm at a Tokyo 2020 commercial.

 ultralink1 9:27 pm
    oh
    thank you in all languages
    what
    there's a commercial already
    ?
    ???

 Nintendork 13 13 9:27 pm
    WTF

 RawkHawk2010 9:27 pm
    ANIME SOCCER PEOPLE

 Nintendork 13 13 9:27 pm
    ANIME SOCCER BOYS

 RawkHawk2010 9:27 pm
    PACMAN

 Nintendork 13 13 9:27 pm
    PACMAN

 RawkHawk2010 9:27 pm
    WHAT THE FUCK LOL

 Nintendork 13 13 9:27 pm
    MORE ANIME
    HERRO KITTY
    I like this better than Brazil already.

 ultralink1 9:27 pm
    I'm like 10 seconds behing

 Nintendork 13 13 9:27 pm
    MORE HERRO KITTY

 ultralink1 9:27 pm
    behind

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    BGFNHJUGF
    NHJTRKLTNHUTGF
    PACMDanszA

 RawkHawk2010 9:28 pm
    what the fuuuuuuck

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    PACMAN BOXING

 ultralink1 9:28 pm
    but i'm scared to refresh

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    AHH
    PLUMBER

Mario Tokyo Japan warp pipe animation Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
WHAT THE HELL? THERE ARE WARP PIPES GOING TO THE RIO STADIUM? AND MARIO IS THERE?!


 RawkHawk2010 9:28 pm
    ijisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
    I am DYING

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    WArp priofh
    WARPBGTRDFBGF
    BGDFBBGTFBGF

 RawkHawk2010 9:28 pm
    oh my fucking god

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    WHAT THE FUCK

 ultralink1 9:28 pm
    this is so japanese

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    AGHHY

 RawkHawk2010 9:28 pm
    IWATA

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mario Shinzo Shinzō Abe warp pipe Japan Tokyo 2020 Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
...And out of the warp pipe? Was Mario... who revealed himself to be Japan's Prime Minister, Shinzō Abe?!


 RawkHawk2010 9:28 pm
    Wait nvm

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    SHINZO ABE
    IN A PLUMBER SUIT
    WHAT THE FUCK

 ultralink1 9:29 pm
    SHINZO ABE is Plumber
    canon

 RawkHawk2010 9:29 pm
    NOW WHERE'S SONIC

 Nintendork 13 13 9:29 pm
    WHEN DID THE PLUMBER BECOME THE PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN

 RawkHawk2010 9:29 pm
    Lol that Warp Pipe is still out there.

 ultralink1 9:29 pm
    Warp Pipe is symbolic

 ultralink1 9:30 pm
    Why are there so many japanese in Brazil

 RawkHawk2010 9:30 pm
    Is it going to start being Mario and Pac-Man at the Olympic Games?!

 ultralink1 9:30 pm
    i'm refreshing
    what's happening
    i
    am in commercials

 Nintendork 13 13 9:30 pm
    I'm not
    uhhh

 RawkHawk2010 9:30 pm
    Tokyoers are dancing.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:30 pm
    Japanese people doing weird hand motions.

 RawkHawk2010 9:31 pm
    Inside transparent boxes.
    Well, Japan >>>>>>>>>>>>> South America. >.>

 ultralink1 9:31 pm
    traditional japanese dances
    ichimatzu?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:31 pm
    Dancing around the warp pipe.

 ultralink1 9:31 pm
    I'm not aware of any traditional japanese checked patterns?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:32 pm
    I'm not aware of why any of this is happening >.<

 ultralink1 9:32 pm
    Because japan

 Nintendork 13 13 9:32 pm
    Why couldn't Shinzo Abe be a Pikachu?
    Did Japanese dudes suddenly appear on top of the warp pipe?
    Like, did they just warp on there?

Japanese flag Tokyo bearing men warp pipe costumes Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
The warp pipe has all SORTS of people POPPING out of it!
(The Japanese would leave the warp pipe around so they could escape the dreadful so-called “party” soon to come.)


 RawkHawk2010 9:33 pm
    Was it Mario because Mario could conceivably be a South American?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:33 pm
    Uh...

 RawkHawk2010 9:33 pm
    Also this sounds like Sticker Star music.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:33 pm
    Is the Tokyo 2020 logo going to have a warp pipe in the centre???

 ultralink1 9:33 pm
    That would be cool

 RawkHawk2010 9:34 pm
    BOWSER

 Nintendork 13 13 9:34 pm
    What?
    Where?

 RawkHawk2010 9:34 pm
    I heard a Bowser grumble.

 ultralink1 9:34 pm
    I don't think so?
    mount fuji?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:34 pm
    THERE'S A GIANT SPIRE
    COMING OUT OF THE WARP PIPE

 ultralink1 9:34 pm
    whoa

 Nintendork 13 13 9:34 pm
    THEY'RE ACTUALLY WARPING SHIT
    FIREWORKS

 RawkHawk2010 9:34 pm
    DAT FLAG THEME

 ultralink1 9:34 pm
    what's the big red ball?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:35 pm
    Commercial.

 ultralink1 9:35 pm
    dude said there's more to come
    what do you guys think?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:35 pm
    Well, this Closing Ceremony was absolutely dreadful until Tokyo did its thing.
    Which is probably representative of something.

 ultralink1 9:36 pm
    about to say that

 Nintendork 13 13 9:36 pm
    I better be in M&Sonic at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games. <_<

 RawkHawk2010 9:36 pm
    Dude
    Vortex is gonna be so pissed, lol.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 pm
    lol

 ultralink1 9:37 pm
    why?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 pm
    He's going to think we're joking.

 ultralink1 9:37 pm
    oh lol

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 pm
    If we tell him Shinzo Abe appeared out of a warp pipe as Mari0.
    ...Wait, so he never left Rio?
    Who is defending the Mushroom Kingdom? =-O
    ...Luig1?

 RawkHawk2010 9:38 pm
    The Fearless Color Defenders.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:38 pm
    Does Japan have a vice minister?

 ultralink1 9:38 pm
    dunno

 RawkHawk2010 9:38 pm
    Yo what the fuck was the point of Pac-Man, lol.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:38 pm
    lol
    "Deputy Prime Minister"

 ultralink1 9:38 pm
    good question

 Nintendork 13 13 9:38 pm
    Thomas Bach, president of the IoC.

 ultralink1 9:38 pm
    pac-man is american

 Nintendork 13 13 9:39 pm
    yo yo yo no he isn't
    He was made by a Japanese guy!

 ultralink1 9:39 pm
    that's better
    french

 Nintendork 13 13 9:39 pm
    They made a whole thing about it in that bad movie.

 ultralink1 9:39 pm
    his accent isn't terrible

 Nintendork 13 13 9:39 pm
    http://www.koopatv.org/2015/07/pixels-8-bit-disaster.html

 ultralink1 9:39 pm
    oh >>

 Nintendork 13 13 9:40 pm
    Toru Iwatani.

 ultralink1 9:40 pm
    oh

 Nintendork 13 13 9:40 pm
    Yo, wot's he saying?

 ultralink1 9:40 pm
    i gorgot
    forgot

 ultralink1 9:40 pm
    sorry i wasn't paying tattention

 RawkHawk2010 9:40 pm
    So I actually perspired from being so shocked earlier.

 ultralink1 9:40 pm
    gah

 Nintendork 13 13 9:40 pm
    I keep thinking you're trying to make puns.

 ultralink1 9:40 pm
    it's alot of fluff

 Nintendork 13 13 9:40 pm
    Wait, Rawk, is that the Rioan JEB!?
    ...'cause then he's not Rioan.

 RawkHawk2010 9:41 pm
    We were forcing ourselves to watch this for no reason and then suddenly it became kinda MANDATORY

 Nintendork 13 13 9:41 pm
    Ya.

 ultralink1 9:41 pm
    why is it mandatory

 Nintendork 13 13 9:41 pm
    Well, it's Nintendo-related now.

 RawkHawk2010 9:41 pm
    cuz uh
    Mario.

 ultralink1 9:41 pm
    freaking
    stream

 RawkHawk2010 9:41 pm
    Wait

 ultralink1 9:41 pm
    freaking freezes

 RawkHawk2010 9:41 pm
    You missed all that?

 ultralink1 9:41 pm
    no

 RawkHawk2010 9:42 pm
    Oh.
    Is this guy French?

 ultralink1 9:42 pm
    no

 Nintendork 13 13 9:42 pm
    Then what the hell is he?

 ultralink1 9:42 pm
    probably greek

 Nintendork 13 13 9:42 pm
    Why is he talking in French then?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:42 pm
    He's specifically thanking the Refugee team.
    Random German.

 ultralink1 9:43 pm
    "Thomas Bach"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:43 pm
    Is he gonna talk in every language?

 ultralink1 9:43 pm
    he's a freaking german
    thats why

 Nintendork 13 13 9:43 pm
    His speaking style reminds me of Hitler.
    And I thought that before I figured out he was German. >>

 ultralink1 9:44 pm
    German cadence

 Nintendork 13 13 9:44 pm
    "This Olympic cup goes to Aushwitz!"

 ultralink1 9:44 pm
    national cadences are a thing

 Nintendork 13 13 9:44 pm
    "The IoC invites six of you to accept this cup tonight!"
    RIP the invitees

 ultralink1 9:45 pm
    are these the refugee competitors?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:45 pm
    I think they're from Rio.

 ultralink1 9:45 pm
    ?????
    they're just random people off the street?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:45 pm
    That's what they're implying.
    "Rio street sweeper"

Olympic Cup street people Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
The United States of America takes Jim Gilmore off the street and onto the debate stage.
Brazil takes these dudes off the street and puts them into the Closing Ceremony.


 ultralink1 9:45 pm
    lol
    hugging

 Nintendork 13 13 9:45 pm
    ...so yeah, literally off the street.

 ultralink1 9:46 pm
    it's tiny

 RawkHawk2010 9:46 pm
    The REAL Rioans.

 RawkHawk2010 9:46 pm
    aka not the steroid-injected bio-experiments that were competing.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:46 pm
    "I declare the games of the thirty-first Olympiad closed."

 ultralink1 9:46 pm
    "awwwwwwwwww"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:47 pm
    "I call upon the youth of the world to assemble four years from now to go to Tokyo, Japan."

 RawkHawk2010 9:47 pm
    "Bye Bye-a, Rio!"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:47 pm
    "No bye-bye just yet! Watch our commercials!" - NBC

 ultralink1 9:47 pm
    .......

 RawkHawk2010 9:47 pm
    "Wait up! The party's just about to start!"

 ultralink1 9:47 pm
    please
    spare me

 RawkHawk2010 9:47 pm
    Mario Party?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:47 pm
    Are we gonna watch NBC's party?

 ultralink1 9:47 pm
    tokyo after party

 Nintendork 13 13 9:47 pm
    Because now would be a great place to stop.

 RawkHawk2010 9:47 pm
    I guess we'll see what it, uh, is.

 ultralink1 9:47 pm
    everyone plays mario party

 Nintendork 13 13 9:47 pm
    lol
    Yo, they screwed up the series though.
    In-between Star Rush and Party 10.

 ultralink1 9:48 pm
    anyway
    I have a dessert from the benefit banquet

 ultralink1 9:48 pm
    i need to finish

 Nintendork 13 13 9:48 pm
    Wot sort of dessert?

 RawkHawk2010 9:48 pm
    "the benefit banquet"?
    Is that welfare?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:49 pm
    (That's the lamest excuse to leave, by the way.)
    loool
    I think it's charity.

 ultralink1 9:49 pm
    it was a charity thing

 Nintendork 13 13 9:49 pm
    "Ryan Seacrest" - NBC

 ultralink1 9:49 pm
    ew
    really?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:49 pm
    Ryan Seacrest is going to host their party?

 ultralink1 9:49 pm
    oooo

 Nintendork 13 13 9:50 pm
    Now  there are people cosplaying as vegetables.

Vegetable costumes green leafy cosplay dress Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
These vegetable people stick around for the rest of the log.


 RawkHawk2010 9:50 pm
    So "It's over, but not really"?

 ultralink1 9:50 pm
    it's strawberry

 RawkHawk2010 9:50 pm
    Like Trump's sarcasm?
    Dude.
    They're dressed like vegetables.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:50 pm
    I KNOW.

 RawkHawk2010 9:50 pm
    I see broccoli out there.

 ultralink1 9:50 pm
    this is cool I guess
    but

 Nintendork 13 13 9:50 pm
    It's scary.

 RawkHawk2010 9:50 pm
    So it's Fruit Dudes except the opposite?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:50 pm
    Veggibles are SCARY.

 ultralink1 9:50 pm
    not enough to warrant watching >>

 Nintendork 13 13 9:51 pm
    THEY'RE DANCING VEGGIBLES
    Is this still Matt Laeur?

 RawkHawk2010 9:51 pm
    I just saw a vegetable twerk.
    And I don't think so.

 ultralink1 9:51 pm
    gif that

 Nintendork 13 13 9:51 pm
    Or Matt Lauer.

 ultralink1 9:51 pm
    that's worth a gif

 Nintendork 13 13 9:51 pm
    Whatever his name is.

 RawkHawk2010 9:52 pm
    He's gotta be up by at least 6:30 tomorrow.
    For Good Morning America or the Today Show or whatever NBC has.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:52 pm
    Are they bringing out a watermelon?
    Watermelman?

 ultralink1 9:53 pm
    strawberry cake was good

 Nintendork 13 13 9:53 pm
    The dessert?

 ultralink1 9:53 pm
    yup

 Nintendork 13 13 9:53 pm
    ...or someone dressed up as a strawberry cake?

 ultralink1 9:53 pm
    are the red things strawberries
    ?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:53 pm
    They're gonna extinguish the Olympic flame sometime.

 RawkHawk2010 9:53 pm
    I actually enjoyed the vegetable dance.
    Might be rutabeugas.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:54 pm
    Reminds me of the Moltres Pokémon League episode.

 ultralink1 9:54 pm
    need some side by side shots

 Nintendork 13 13 9:54 pm
    They have fake rain right now.
    Told you it's fake rain. >.>

Olympic torch fire flame Moltres fake rain Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
The fire does not care about this scattered fake rain. So what will the Rio organisers do?


 RawkHawk2010 9:54 pm
    Chocolate Rain

 ultralink1 9:54 pm
    are they fake raining the torch to death
    because they might need to concentrate that a little more
    she's getting wet

 Nintendork 13 13 9:55 pm
    That's probably intentional.

 ultralink1 9:55 pm
    flaming

 Nintendork 13 13 9:55 pm
    "This gets my vote...for greatest flame... the greatest flame out!" - dumb NBC guy

 RawkHawk2010 9:55 pm
    This is better than what Rio did before French Jeb! told everyone to go home.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:56 pm
    It's not a flame out if the flame doesn't care about the fake rain. <_<

 ultralink1 9:56 pm
    fire isn't going out

 RawkHawk2010 9:56 pm
    Is this the Rioan Donna Summer?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:56 pm
    ...hm...
    OH
    IT'S

 ultralink1 9:56 pm
    they cheated

 Nintendork 13 13 9:56 pm
    THEY DID THAT MANUALLY

Olympic flame torch rigged goes out Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
...Well, they RIGGED it so the flame would be put out at the press of a remote button press! Crooked!


 ultralink1 9:57 pm
    that's lame

 Nintendork 13 13 9:57 pm
    RIGGED
    THE TORCH IS RIGGED
    WE GOTTA CAST DOUBT ON THE ENTIRE OLYMPICS

 ultralink1 9:57 pm
    fruit of the loom

 Nintendork 13 13 9:57 pm
    IT'S PROBABLY ALL RIGGED TOO

 RawkHawk2010 9:57 pm
    Maybe they were hoping the rain would put it out and they fucked up.

 ultralink1 9:57 pm
    sponsored

 RawkHawk2010 9:57 pm
    lol imagine if Trump live-tweeted that.

 ultralink1 9:57 pm
    tree?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 pm
    "That promised party...starts next." *commercial*

 RawkHawk2010 9:58 pm
    RIO = RIGGED IRRELEVANT OLYMPICS

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 pm
    ...oooh

 ultralink1 9:58 pm
    are you serious?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 pm
    Did you come up with that?

 ultralink1 9:58 pm
    they're still saying

 RawkHawk2010 9:58 pm
    yea

 ultralink1 9:58 pm
    the party is coming

 Nintendork 13 13 9:58 pm
    So we still dunno wot the party is.

 ultralink1 9:59 pm
    i'm pretty tired of this "party"
    diet coke is gross

 Nintendork 13 13 9:59 pm
    "What if life tasted as good as diet coke?" - commercial
    WELL
    IT DOES RIGHT NOW

 ultralink1 9:59 pm
    it does
    we should cover the paralypmics

 Nintendork 13 13 10:00 pm
    lol

 ultralink1 10:00 pm
    looks like fun
    wheelchair basket ball
    blade runners

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 pm
    Is this the party?

 ultralink1 10:01 pm
    still ads
    coverage will resume shortly

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 pm
    "Carnival"

 ultralink1 10:01 pm
    so much shouting

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 pm
    The vegetable people are still there.
    In droves.

 RawkHawk2010 10:02 pm
    I see a tree.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:02 pm
    We ALL see a tree.

Tree of lights party Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony
And now, you too can see the tree!


 ultralink1 10:02 pm
    ^
    "The seas of people on the beaches"
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 pm
    Don't give NBC dudes credit for puns. >_>

 ultralink1 10:03 pm
    but that one was good
    ...

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 pm
    ...
    Rawk, wot do you think? =-O

 RawkHawk2010 10:03 pm
    About that being a good pun?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 pm
    Ya.

 RawkHawk2010 10:04 pm
    SAD! pun.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:04 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 10:04 pm
    I don't even see beaches.
    Are they metaphorical?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:04 pm
    They're outside the stadium.

 RawkHawk2010 10:04 pm
    Oh
    Well we can't see that shit.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:05 pm
    We could've watched Beach Volleyball.
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 10:05 pm
    Dat audience.

 ultralink1 10:05 pm
    we can still watch it
    just need to find the clips
    then like I said

 RawkHawk2010 10:06 pm
    Yeah, we can catch up with every single olympic event!
    We have four years!

 ultralink1 10:06 pm
    compare with M&S

 Nintendork 13 13 10:06 pm
    I'm sick of M&S. <.<

 ultralink1 10:07 pm
    I haven't seen any of M&S
    who does beach volleyball

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 pm
    Roy.
    And Rosalina.
    (In the 3DS version)

 ultralink1 10:07 pm
    aaaaaaaaand
    i'm done

 ultralink1 10:07 pm
    don't care enough

 Nintendork 13 13 10:08 pm
    Oh, and Donkey Kong.
    (nevermind Rosalina doesn't)
    And Tails.
    And Cream.

 ultralink1 10:08 pm
    ggood night

 RawkHawk2010 10:08 pm
    buh

 Nintendork 13 13 10:08 pm
    Uh...g'night.

 RawkHawk2010 10:09 pm
    Those vegetable people have to be getting tired.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:09 pm
    (They're Samba dancing with the Olympic Cup guy from the street)

 RawkHawk2010 10:10 pm
    What if dancing Confederados suddenly show up?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:10 pm
    I think ISIS is more likely.

 RawkHawk2010 10:11 pm
    lol
    Dude
    Imagine if ISIS came out of the Warp Pipe.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:11 pm
    lol
    What if that wasn't Shinzo Abe
    but Jihadi John disguised as Shinzo Abe disguised as Mari0?
    And now he's infiltrated the stadium?

 RawkHawk2010 10:12 pm
    Good idea for an article.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm
    ...I'm not gonna write that. >.>

 RawkHawk2010 10:12 pm
    You should.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm
    For one, Jihadi John is dead.

 RawkHawk2010 10:12 pm
    OR SO WE THINK

 Nintendork 13 13 10:12 pm
    On 12 November 2015, US officials reported that Emwazi had been hit by a drone strike in Al-Raqqah, Syria.[16] His death was confirmed by ISIL in January 2016.
    - Wikipedia

 RawkHawk2010 10:13 pm
    If Jihadi John can double-layer disguise himself, he can fake his own death.
    It would also explain his absence for the past year.
    He's been...planning this.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:13 pm
    Sounds convoluted.
    I could see it being an Ace Attorney court case.
    Do you think Bin Laden is actually dead?

 RawkHawk2010 10:14 pm
    no

 RawkHawk2010 10:15 pm
    No one is actually dead.
    Their spirits live on.
    Look at Harambe.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:16 pm
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beatles_(terrorist_cell)#Guarding.2C_torturing.2C_and_seeking_ransoms_for_hostages
    Real-life example of Even Evil Has Standards.
    (Second paragraph.)

 RawkHawk2010 10:18 pm
    "Is this going to go on all night?!" - NBC guy

 Nintendork 13 13 10:18 pm
    explosion
    "Much more when we come back"
    Did they commercial break from an ISIS bomb?

 RawkHawk2010 10:21 pm
    "We thought the party concluded, but the party never stopped."
    And I suppose it might never.
    Those vegetable people could be out there forever.
    Do we want to share their fate?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:21 pm
    no


Explosion fireworks aerial view shot Rio 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony party end
And so, the long-awaited ISIS attack finally happened, and everyone still there died.
The end.



You don't get a prize for surviving reading this whole log, because this one was much more manageable compared to the Opening Ceremony. Were you surprised at the events of the Closing Ceremony? Do you believe the Olympics were rigged? Should KoopaTV do this again for Tokyo 2020? Let us know in the comments below!


Read KoopaTV's Rio 2016 Opening Ceremony log here! It features every single member of KoopaTV's staff, coming together for a grand and long event!
Ludwig seriously thought that Team Mario have evacuated Rio before the Olympics started, but obviously he's wrong.
The tomorrow's article mentioned? It's this. Not only our reaction of Shinzō Abe and Mario, but our EXPLANATION for why and how.

6 comments :

  1. My first reaction to plumber boy and cherry chasing dot muncher is how will this site react to it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My first reaction was:

      “ BGFNHJUGF
      NHJTRKLTNHUTGF
      PACMDanszA

      Delete
  2. Jihadi John may not have been Mario in a costume, but they did share some similarities. For example, both fiends destroyed innocent civilian lives and were labeled as terrorists. Maybe Rawk was actually onto something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, it was MY idea!

      I just immediately disavowed it.

      Delete
  3. That Mario part was fantastic. I can't wait to see what Tokyo does for their opening ceremony in 2020.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And their closing.

      Too bad you can't easily watch it again because of the NBC monopoly.

      Delete

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