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Friday, August 26, 2016

Paper Mario: Color Splash — Episode 2: Move Out!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Sheer Cliffs on a Red Road!

Welcome to KoopaTV's continuing coverage of the Rescue V (we pronounce it “Vee”, and also “Ex-Nauts” if you're wondering), the real protagonists of the hyped game, Paper Mario: Color Splash! We first covered them here on their first episode where it was the whole group, and now is their second episode.

This one is focusing on Rescue Red. Uh... just go ahead and watch and we'll talk. Yes, I'm embedding Nintendo's Skye on Miiverse embedding the YouTube video. Her parenthetical observations are key to dissecting the video:

NintendoSkye Nintendo Skye Red Rescue Squad Miiverse Paper Mario Color Splash

Funny, right?

Okay, there are two explanations for Rescue Red's behaviour of taking credit for the actions of Rescue Purple:
  1. Rescue Red is colour-blind. This seems like a damning fate for someone named after the colour of his clothes.
  2. Rescue Red is a lazy jerkass who goes on hot spring breaks while his companions rescue for him.

Paper Mario Color Splash Rescue Red squad blow dryer hot spring
Rescue Purple is trying to stick up for the bravery of his own squad, but Rescue Red never acknowledges it.
By the way, that blow-dryer is totally a Thing.

I guess it's possible they're both true. Rescue Red could be a very bad squad leader that doesn't even know who is in his squad, because he can't tell the difference between colours. Then he claims to have been directing his squad and goes in a hot spring with them.

Paper Mario Color Splash Hot Spring Toads
To be fair, Rescue Red himself is not presently in the hot spring.
Shout-outs to Huey, by the way.
(Also, this is very fitting for Friday.)

What if... what if the supposedly Purple Squad was the Red Squad all along, and Mario simply recoloured them with his Paint Hammer to confuse Rescue Purple? That would prove that Rescue Purple only knows his Toads by their colour and not the content of their vibrant, totally unique characters, and would vindicate Rescue Red.

The problem with THAT theory is that Mario's Paint Hammer only has three hues of paint: Red, Yellow, and Blue. Perhaps the Toads in the hot springs are the Purple Squad painted to Red?

Why would Mario do that? Hell if I know. Perhaps to try to discredit the Rescue V, so they appear to be illegitimate protagonists as to undermine their attempts to take their rightful places as the game's heroes?

Paper Mario Color Splash eat chemicals bad guy Morton Koopa Jr. fire extinguisher Thing Rescue Red Toad boss
Then again, there's no one involved here that can be counted as a hero.
Has Rescue Red crossed President Barack Hussein Obama's red line in the use of chemical weapons?!

Stay tuned for Episode 3: Infiltration! Secret Base of the Blue Sea! Word on the road says it'll feature Rescue Blue. Meanwhile, Ludwig's going to take a long nap this weekend.

Episode 3 is here already, and it's a lot more important than Episode 2. It features the author!


  1. "and vindicate would Rescue Red"

    I think either the words are in the wrong order, or Yoda edited that part.

    Rescue V is still the best thing I've seen from Color Splash and the one that gives me hope.

    1. Actually, Rawk edited that part. >.>


      But good that you're seeing some kind of light.

    2. I'm still going to wait for reviews, though.

      (Unless I'd end up reviewing it myself as a freelancer, which would be interesting. xD)

    3. (Does that mean someone buys it for you?)


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