Nintendo Swapdoodle — The Swapnote Revival!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - But... does this new form of swapping bring back what we liked about Swapnote, or is that gone forever?

In a totally unexpected move, today Nintendo revived Nikki and released Swapdoodle. This is... obviously supposed to be the return of Swapnote, which was discontinued three years ago around this time of year. It was a very unfortunate loss for 3DS communications, with KoopaTV staffer Rawk grieving in his article, “Give Me Liberty, Or Give Me Swapnote.” (I'm not really sure how that makes sense as a title, come to think of it.)

Nintendo is not hiding that this is their attempt to bring back Swapnote.

 
Swapnote was discontinued due to... abuses of it. Swapdoodle makes many of these abuses impossible, and then adds in a TON of microtransactions. Is the end product something that will come close to Swapnote's glory? Either way, it's a free download that you can begin here.

Real Escape Game: Defenders of the Triforce

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's already sold out everywhere, so this isn't an advertisement.

The Real Escape Game™ designers at SCRAP Entertainment are teaming up with Nintendo to bring a The Legend of Zelda-themed game to eight cities across the United States of America!
 

And by across the United States of America, I don't really mean that.

United States map provided by FreeWorldMaps.net!
Fortunately for my geography skills, the cities in the video are already marked on the map.

Super Mario Run Out December 15; One-Time Payment

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The United Kingdom has the lowest price, but that's not an endorsement.

I would like to correct my rhetoric in my introductory article for Super Mario Run, Shigeru Miyamoto's Apple mobile system love child. I exclaimed a fear about “PAY GATES.” It's actually only one.

You can also, according to Nintendo's press release today, “try elements of the game's three modes for free.” That's a correction from my assertion that the Kingdom Builder mode would be only accessible after you pay money.

I also presumed that Kingdom Builder was a level editor mode, and it's...actually a glorified dress-up minigame. So, yeah, I wouldn't want to pay anything for that, either.

You're not building something you can play. Just look at. Maybe it'll appeal to people who'd otherwise spend a thousand dollars on Nintendo Badge Arcade gambling?

Annoyingly, Nintendo's official site for Super Mario Run doesn't allow me to directly link to its pages due to how they constructed the site, so take my word for the information I'm about to provide you for the rest of this article, or look everywhere on their site for your own self-verification. (But make sure to stay on THIS site, KoopaTV!)

Starter Pokémon Z-Moves, More Ultra Beasts, Alolan Dugtrio Coming to Pokémon Sun and Moon!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm not going to use Z-Moves in-game, so this seems to be a battle simulator thing.

Are you ready for the imminent release of Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon this Friday? If you're like me, you're not, and you probably won't even get it on release date, November 18. (If you're in Europe, it's November 23.)

The Pokémon Company International has a new video release, detailing exclusive Z-Moves for the fully-evolved forms of the Alolan starter Pokémon, more Ultra Beasts to join the existing cast, and Alolan Diglett/Dugtrio just because.
 

There isn't much to say about those Z-Moves, other than that they look pretty powerful and have really long animations. That just means Pokémon is doing what other RPGs have been doing since the start: Special moves. As recently as Paper Mario: Color Splash (aka what I'm slowly playing through right now — you can check out my latest playthrough Miiverse post right here), I avoid using powerful moves or items if I don't have to. 

The Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition is Out

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Nintendo Entertainment System: Nintendo Entertainment System Classic Edition is now released, but I bet you can't find it.

I would've otherwise forgotten about it, but Nintendo really wants you to know that their latest cash-grab — I mean, made-for-Black-Friday and stocking stuffer — is released. That's right, the Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition is finally out! ...Do you care at all? Well, I sure didn't when it was announced, and I still don't care, and I don't understand why anyone else possibly would care. (Then again, I'm told I'm bad at empathising with other people's fears in this post-election world.)

So, is there anything notable to say about it now that I didn't mention back in my July article?

No. There's no surprises or anything. It's still a set of 30 pretty standard NES games in a tiny box that you can plug into an HDTV, featuring the suspend points you'd find in a Virtual Console port and some optional pixel-perfect mode.

Actually, I guess there is one thing, and that's how Nintendo is promoting it. ...But that's not about the Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition itself.

The Donald Trump-KoopaTV Kinship

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He won. Now, why don't you sit quietly and wait for his inauguration?

If you were otherwise confused by yesterday's video-as-an-article (and it was AMAZING, so be sure to watch it), Donald Trump is now the president-elect of the United States. It was a totally unexpected outcome among our staff, and that's coming from the site that endorsed the guy.

We're still bewildered, and it's hard to believe that Donald Trump will actually become the president of the United States.

...A lot of other people in America are also bewildered, and instead of writing articles on it on the Internet, they're going out to the streets and burning the American flag and rioting. But this is America. People will use any excuse possible to riot. It's a national pastime at this point, used as a substitution for playing videogames.

...And I hear that was a MILD demonstration. 

Anyway, why are so many people protesting? What are they protesting? Do they even know? Are they calling for an end to voting?

Let me tell you what Donald Trump really stands for, and why we're very encouraged at KoopaTV about his victory, on a site-level. It's vindication. Because KoopaTV values are Donald Trump values, and Donald Trump values are KoopaTV values. It's just his scale is a lot more YUUUUGE than us.

Donald Trump -- The Miracle Never Happen

By RAWKHAWK2010 - ...

Last night, the 2016 United States presidential election ended in a landslide, 306 to 232. Chances of a last-minute miracle were thusly dashed, and as Koopas far and wide retreat into their shells, we can safely project that it's all over but the crying.

(Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice For All spoilers for the following video.)

Staffers at KoopaTV assumed just 24 hours ago that Donald Trump would fail spectacularly, so what in the BLUE HELL was Rawk supposed to do with his heartrending Donald Trump tribute upon America entering an alternate reality on such short notice?!?!? (Last-minute second-long DLC? Well, yeah, that's about all he's got.)

The Melania trial bit in the video refers to Melania Trump plagiarising a speech from Michelle Obama during the Republican National Convention.
KoopaTV might've believed that Trump would fail, but is very happy he did not.
The miracle happened, and he is now the president.

Today Is Election Day 2016

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We'll be watching the results very closely.

Sorry, there isn't enough time in the day for today's gaming news. (Is there gaming news today? Not even bothering to look.) You really shouldn't be on KoopaTV today expecting something substantive, but since we publish something every weekday, here you go.

Today is Election Day, as we wrote about yesterday. At a certain period in the night, the only thing being reported on will be the voting total returns. We'll be glued to that, and you probably should, too. We'll also be glued to today's GameFAQs Poll of the Day, where Giant Meteor is winning a plurality of the votes. 

There's nothing for you on this website, though the comments section always welcomes you.

If, for whatever reason, you've been following KoopaTV and don't know what to do with your own vote (really?), then we'll redirect you to the Trump Card put together by Herman Cain, which boils down the candidates to five critical issues in pretty simplistic terms. You deserve those simplistic terms if you still don't know what the hell you want:

Trump Cards courtesy of KoopaTV's sister station, CainTV.

In addition, take a look at Donald Trump's powerful final closing argument:

This is Hillary's:

You can compare which of these two candidates identifies the problems facing America, and knows what to do to solve them.

Meanwhile, to tie up some loose ends:

1. Regardless of the election results, KoopaTV will continue through Round 11 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, which ends December 30 of 2016. There are some pretty amazing prizes you can get this time, so check it out and please participate on this website.
2. I did end up donating the money I said I'd donate to Trump. Due to federal election laws that foreign nationals can't donate to American presidential campaigns, Koopa Kingdom instead made a charitable contribution to the Trump Foundation, with no strings attached, just like the nation of Qatar did with the Clinton Foundation. 

While the Clinton campaign keeps maintaining that Russia is trying to influence the presidential campaign and such a thing is unprecedented, we'll confirm that Koopa Kingdom is actually doing that influencing.

...We're still fair & balanced, though.
 

No matter how much KoopaTV tries, it cannot help but write something about the election on the day of the election. Please understand the predicament, and please do your part and vote for Donald Trump, and get everyone you know to vote for Donald Trump.


We report the election results here.
KoopaTV gets to exist because Donald Trump won!
Koopa Kingdom is very proud to have influenced a victory.
How about Election Day 2020? KoopaTV is covering that too.

I Believe In Miracles

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We must prevail.

It is almost over. Tomorrow is election day for Donald Trump, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein supporters. (According to Koopa Kingdom's understanding, if you're a supporter of Hillary Clinton or Evan McMullin, election day is actually November 9 — this is done to ease the otherwise enormous lines and it makes sure everyone gets to vote. Check your local polling station for details.)

KoopaTV has endorsed Donald Trump for president, not just because it's the most correct choice, but because our own site's very survival depends on it. Throughout this entire process (ever since 2015), Hillary Clinton has been in the lead of whomever her Republican or Democratic opponent has been.

However... Here at KoopaTV, we believe in miracles.

A lot of people don't like any of the candidates and believe the United States is doomed no matter what. That it's the end of humanity.

But that's wrong. At the very end, a miracle will happen! And everything will be SCRUMPTIOUS... and it'll be a sexy thing. It's all in your hands, though.

To make sure you all know the importance of this moment in time, we've changed our logo to this:

Just a reminder: Pac-Man-Hillary is a real, canon thing used by Donald Trump in an advertisement he made in 2016. It's more than just an article KoopaTV wrote in 2014, and more than just her prominent role in KoopaTV's videogame, Capture the Confederate Flag.

We're just so in-sync with this guy that he's actively using our own ideas. It's already a miracle that he's come this far. It was miraculous that he managed to claw his way through the primaries. It was miraculous that he managed to make my opinion of him do a complete turn-around, if you read what I was writing about him over a year ago.

One more miracle to go! 


If you are still undecided for some reason, be sure to check out and read all of the articles listed in KoopaTV's Hillary Index. It's informative and light reading. Please be a part of the miracle. Ludwig wants you to appreciate the ideologically fair & balanced division of who votes on November 8, and who votes on November 9. This Miiverse post should also give you an idea of where this is going.


Donald Trump can win if he follows the electoral college map that Nintendo secretly proposed.
Here is KoopaTV's Election Day article, published on Election Day.
Well? Did the miracle happen? Click here to find out.
Donald Trump's victory reflects on KoopaTV.
Donald Trump was successfully inaugurated!

Five Women We'd Rather Have As President Than Hillary Clinton

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We're fine with a woman, just not that woman.

Let's face it: We haven't completed our mission at KoopaTV to inform and entertain enough people with the facts. If we have, the presidential polling wouldn't be looking the way it is right now. (Then again, the polls are rigged.)

As a result, we have to now resort to a clickbait-sounding listicle to grab your attention. You've brought this upon yourself.

We've thought up of five women that would be a better president of the United States than Hillary Clinton. These aren't the top five women out there, but any of them would still be a better choice than her. Believe me. I know one of them personally. Hillary constantly claims we're sexist for opposing her, and that being a woman is her most important qualification. That's wrong.

Without further ado, the listicle begins: