Perhaps because Splatfests are officially over, the Splatoon team likely had a team meeting and discussed their options. Splatoon is losing the attention of many Nintendo Wii U owners. Sure, it outlasted many other games in terms of spotlight (who talks about Pokkén Tournament anymore?), but has its time come?
No! Only a little over a third of Wii U owners have bought Splatoon, according to the Wii U selling 13 million consoles and Splatoon selling almost 4.5 million copies. So what will Nintendo do?
It's time for Rounds 8, 9, 10, and 11 of the Splatoon Global Testfire! (For mention of Rounds 1–3 and my feedback on the testfires, look here. Round 4 mentioned here, while Rounds 5–7 teased here.) And according to Nintendo's press release, it's the same format, basic weapon choices, and limited basic maps as over a year ago. The game has changed a lot since then thanks to a steady stream of patches and updates, but it's back-to-basics to try to entice folks to join. They even made a trailer for it, deemed the “Splatoon Summer Splatdown!” There's something really interesting about it, too:
Enough in-game ink has been spread to cover the contiguous United States, eh? That's the land-mass of all fifty States minus Hawaii and Alaska. Honestly, it doesn't take much to cover up Hawaii, so it's really just excluding Alaska.
|Freaking RawkHawk2010 thought it said “contagious.” Dude is terrified of Zika.|
You know what that looks like to us? The same thing that the Brexit results reminded me of, despite some in the Splatoon community disliking the intermingling of games and political events: It's the electoral map and Splatoon Turf War results put into one!
Given the United States presidential election and the ELECTORAL COLLEGE, one wonders: Given the map Nintendo has presented above, what would the result of the election be?
Given that Hillary Clinton is blue (the traditional Democrat colour) and given that Donald Trump is orange (a commentary from Nintendo for how Donald Trump is subverting the normally red-coloured Republican Party so much, that it's a different outfit altogether. Thus, it deserves a different colour that happens to be the colour of Donald Trump's skin), here are what the election results will be from that picture:
|See the map on 270towin.com here, where it was generated.|
A reminder on the electoral college: There are 538 electoral votes, so a nominee needs 270 to win. Every state except Maine and Nebraska has a winner-takes-all system within that state. So if you win 49% of the vote in a state and the other dude wins 51%, you don't get a consolation prize.
Alaska and Hawaii did not provide any electoral votes in the map I generated, because Nintendo specifically excluded them.
With some very interesting exceptions (such as California and Alabama) this kind of actually does model a scenario that could feasibly happen this November. It appears that Nintendo has given Donald Trump the bare minimum he needs to succeed!
If you want to know my methodology, I tried to draw state borders over Nintendo's map by comparing it to another map. Nintendo's map of the United States of America doesn't exactly match the proportions, however. Then I used my eyes to try to see if there was more orange or blue in the state, and marked the candidate appropriately on 270towin.com.
|Yeah, my borders are a bit sloppy, so if you want to contest them, go shout in the comments about voter fraud or gerrymandering.|
If you don't want to think about all of that political stuff and just want to know when you can play Splatoon for free, here are your times:
|August 25 (Thursday) to August 28 (Sunday). That's... 4 days, isn't it? From 6 PM to 8 PM Eastern.|
Hopefully Splatoon can stick around long enough that we can cover Alaska, too! Ha, and people thought that after the Splatfests are over, Nintendo would literally just shut down their servers for the game.
Ludwig would be extremely amused if the election this November happened exactly the way it's projected here. He wants you to try out Splatoon if you haven't already, because it's worth the experience.
If you want to have Southern USA geography down-pat, play Capture the Confederate Flag. It all came back to Ludwig as he was drawing the borders.
Splatoon was voted the best game of 2015 by KoopaTV's staffers.
Donald Trump DID win, but he won by a far bigger margin than was projected here.