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Thursday, August 19, 2021

Mamoswine in Pokémon UNITE and China's Pork Diet

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How about cutting off the pork diet to stick it to them?

Of the many relevant things I could talk about the day after the Pokémon Presents that was filled with fresh information about Pokémon Shining Pearl/Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon: Legends Arceus, I'm instead going to dedicate it to the... ~10 seconds of Pokémon UNITE Mamoswine footage. Somehow the game I've demanded that no one download is taking up my mind share. Anyway, we don't know when Mamoswine is coming. ...Just that it'll be in the future:

Mamoswine Pokémon UNITE official artwork
Mamoswine? What are you doing in Pokémon UNITE? ...I believe I know!

Why would Mamoswine get to come to Pokémon UNITE? Swinub and Piloswine aren't in the top 30 most popular Johto Pokémon, and Mamoswine isn't in the top 30 most popular Sinnoh Pokémon. Well, the answer came to me instantly: Mamoswine is coming to Pokémon UNITE to appeal to developer Tencent's home market of China.

You see, pork is massively important to China and the diet of the average Chinese person. China is the biggest producer and consumer of pork, though there's trouble with that now with African swine fever found in China wiping out large quantities of pigs. (Not all viruses come from China, though China DOES have swine flu viruses that originate there.) Despite being 18% of the world population, the Chinese consume nearly 50% of the pork—a nearly sacred ratio. To reduce the risk of citizen unrest from higher pork prices, the government literally has a strategic pork reserve. According to whatever the Earth Policy Institute is, “the written Mandarin Chinese character for ‘home’ depicts a pig under a roof, signifying the animal’s longtime domestic importance.” Chinese per capita consumption of pork greatly out-weighs other proteins from other animals.

There's more to pork's Chinese cultural significance than that. You may remember the Chinese Communist Party's on-going genocide of the Uyghur minority. The Uyghurs, as a Muslim people, aren't into eating pork. Because the CCP wants to destroy the Uyghur's culture (on top of using them as slaves), they're forcing the Uyghurs to raise pigs and eat them. Especially on Fridays, which is a sacred night for them. They're even covertly feeding pork meals to kindergartners—sometimes without telling them the food contains pork—to give them a taste for non-kosher food young. So not only do the Chinese love pork, but it's a tool to force cultural hegemony within their realm.

In terms of what that means for Mamoswine... There's a cruel fate where the reason for Mamoswine's coming appearance in the game is not because the Chinese love swine as animals. But they do love them as lunch and dinner. (Maybe even breakfast.) Mamoswine is in as a Chinese cultural representative... and I guess to make the Chinese players’ mouths water. That might help in the Chinese Communist Party's goal of having kids not play games like Pokémon UNITE for too many hours (you know, any number greater than one) in a day, and instead stop playing the pay-to-win game and go eat some pork. As of right now, I don't believe Pokémon UNITE is available from within China, because it's only available for the Nintendo Switch and the Chinese Switch's game list is very... small and doesn't include Pokémon UNITE. (Though Tencent controls Switch distribution.)

I believe that availability will change when Pokémon UNITE comes out for mobile devices September 22, 2021. Tencent held a beta test in China for the game much earlier in 2021, and the game's Chinese website is still up, and the game will be available in Simplified Chinese later, so... I think they're definitely planning to have the game playable from mainland China, and they'll want Mamoswine to be a Chinese favourite. You will be able to spend money to buy the “licence” to be able to play as Mamoswine, you know.

I propose that the rest of the world should stop producing (and therefore, stop eating) pork and breeding pigs for that purpose. That way, when China has African swine fever problems, they can't import their way out of problems and their strategic pork reserve will dry up. Prices will skyrocket and the peasantry will riot... and perhaps overthrow the Chinese Communist Party. Wouldn't that be nice? The Jews and Muslims are already working together for this goal. Others gotta join!

When Ludwig has love for animals, it's because he likes their design while alive, not for their food potential. He asks that you also don't eat beef. He loathes pigs, however. But he also won't eat them. He's not a fan of Swinub, Piloswine, or Mamoswine, and he thought Mamoswine was a bad addition to Dawn's team in the Pokémon anime. He was super happy when James's Carnivine pwned Dawn's Mamoswine in the Lilypad Contest. Feel free to comment what you think about Ludwig's theory, and if this should even qualify as a “Gaming Commentary” on KoopaTV.


  1. "When Ludwig has love for animals, it's because he likes their design while alive, not for their food potential."

    Are you a vegetarian?


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